Chapter 26
Josh was beside himself. It was one thing when he thought she was going to try to
undercut him and his role in the firm. But for her to resign? Without any
discussion? Without any warning? This was going to mess up all his plans. What
the hell was she thinking?
He was about to find out when Liz knocked and entered his office; closing the door
behind her.
“Coffee and pastries.” She announced. “I’d have brought in the beer but my boss
frowns on alcohol before say, 10 in the morning…unless it’s an Election Day.”
Josh, despite everything around him, found it inside himself to laugh. He sat next to
Liz in the visitor chairs and put his feet on the desk. Liz didn’t say anything more;
just sipped her coffee.
“I’m blowing it, Liz.” He said quietly.
“You sure are.” She agreed. “Pastry?” She offered him the plate and he took one.
He figured sugar and chocolate couldn’t hurt.
“I don’t know how to fix it.” He admitted with his mouth full.
Liz nodded and took another bite of her roll.
“No advice?”
“Would you listen to it?”
“What the hell does that mean?” Josh almost choked on his roll. “Don’t I usually
listen?”
“Usually, yes, but lately…not so much.” Liz admitted honestly. “And I don’t get the
impression that the attitude is just with me.”
“No, I guess not.” Josh grumbled.
“You need to talk to Donna. It won’t be so bad after you do.” Liz told him.
“She just announced she was quitting! Just like that!” Josh snapped his now sticky
fingers, but Liz shook her head slowly.
“No, not about work. That may be how all of this is coming out, but your problem
doesn’t have anything to do with work.” Liz stated clearly.
Josh looked up at her startled. She just shrugged. “I take your calls, I open your
mail, and you’ve left some of your internet searches up when you left the office.”
Liz explained. “You need to talk to Donna. Do it now. I’ll clear your schedule and
hers. Go take a walk, go get some brunch, whatever, but make it alone and make it
good.”
“You can do it, boss. You can fix all of it. I’ve read your press and seen you do it
before.” Liz got up and kissed his cheek before she left him alone to ponder her
advice.
A few minutes later, Josh walked determinedly to Donna’s office and knocked on
her closed door.
“Come in!” Donna shouted. Josh opened the door to find his wife on the phone.
“…and I’m not indifferent to that Congressman, but believe me when I tell you that
you’d be creating more problems than you’d solve with that move. Let me bring it
to the team and see what we can come up with before you do anything. We don’t
have a time crunch here, so let’s take advantage of that, okay? Great, thank you.”
Donna hung up and looked warily at her husband.
He tried to convey understanding with his expression, but since he didn’t
understand that was a little difficult so he fell back on humor. “So…what’s new with
you? How’s your day going?”
Donna chuckled as he hoped she would and just watched him leaning against her
doorframe, hands sheepishly in his pockets, with very sad eyes.
“I’ve been told by a reliable source that you have the answers to my problems.”
Josh began again.
“I don’t know what your problems are, so I can’t really answer that.”
“Liz said she could clear us for awhile. You want to take a walk with me so I can tell
you about them?” He held out a hand to her and saw tears in her eyes.
Donna, not trusting her voice, nodded and took his hand. They took Josh’s car to
the mall and although the ride was silent, they kept their fingers intertwined the
entire time.
Once they were out on the mall enjoying the relative privacy that big crowds in
public places could bring, Josh figured he needed to speak up.
“You floored me with your announcement today, Donna.” Josh risked a look at her
face. “I wish we could have talked about what you were planning.”
“Me too.” She bit out and held his hand even tighter.
“I’d like to talk about it now. Why are you resigning?” He tugged on her arm until
they were sitting on a bench near the monuments.
“I decided since you were making decisions for yourself without consulting me, I’d
do the same.” Donna explained.
“I was going to talk to you about Ohio after I had a chance to-“
“No, not about work decisions;” Donna flatly denied. “Personal decisions. Personal
health decisions.” Donna watched Josh’s face carefully and saw the instant her
words registered.
“I…I needed some time to think about it, to process the information.” Josh said
quietly.
“And you couldn’t think or process it with your wife?” Donna’s voice turned shrill.
“You don’t think this affects me too?” Donna stood up from the bench and started
pacing. “I thought the fatigue, the lack of appetite, that it was all part of your
recovery from the accident and you did NOTHING to disabuse me of that notion.”
“No, I didn’t. I didn’t want to worry you about something you can’t do anything
about.” Josh explained but it only served to make Donna angrier.
“How about discuss the options with you? How about discussing career changes
for you? How about just taking care of you?”
“You do that already, Donna. You’ve always done that.” Josh stood up and took
her arms to stop her pacing, but Donna shook him off.
“I’m so angry with you right now, Joshua.” She told him in a low, steely voice. “You
had no right to keep this from me. None at all.”
“Can’t you understand that I wasn’t trying to hurt you?”
“Oh I’m sure that’s the tape you’ve played over and over in that diluted brain of
yours, but it isn’t reality. How do you think I felt when I found out your heart is
failing? That you haven’t scheduled the appointments the hospital recommended?
How do you think I’d feel if you had a heart attack, without having a clue what was
wrong, while you process your precious information?”
“I’m sorry, but I was told nothing had to be done immediately. They changed some
of my meds and told me I had a month or two to make some decisions.”
“Did you tell them you have a highly stressful job that could cut that time down
even more? That you weren’t adjusting your work schedule to include the daily
walks or naps they recommended?” Donna shot back. “Because I have to tell you
Abby was pretty specific about how those details could change your prognosis.”
“You called Abby Bartlet and discussed my medical information without my
permission?” Josh asked.
“You bet your ass I did.” Donna responded in kind. “I needed some information
and since you showed such an aversion to even telling me about it, I went to a
trusted source.”
“I wish you hadn’t done that, Donna.” Josh’s volume lowered.
“I wish I hadn’t felt that I had to.” Donna’s volume came down too. “Once I saw that
report, my blood just chilled…I saw all the things you were doing lately in a while
different light.” Tears were streaming down her face now and Josh found that his
already failing heart was breaking to pieces. This wasn’t what he’d intended. He
just wanted to buy a little time before he had to make a decision.
“Donna…”
“Your obsession to get Julie elected; recapturing that long shot/real thing feeling
you had with Jed Bartlet so long ago. This Ohio craziness; you wanted to pull off
one last miracle to add to the Lyman legacy.”
“If something happens to me, the company is all you’ve have. I want to make sure
that’s solid. Don’t you get that?” Josh implored.
“Of course I do, you idiot! Why do you think I’m so upset? You’re planning ahead
in case you die from this and you didn’t even tell me about it. You’re giving up and
I hate that you’re doing that!” Donna was sobbing in earnest now.
“I’m not giving up! I swear I’m not. But what kind of a husband or father would I be if
I didn’t plan ahead for every eventuality?” Josh argued.
“We make plans TOGETHER, Joshua. That was the deal that I signed on for; we
were going to be partners in everything and you broke that vow.”
“I only did it to protect you from worrying.” Josh said earnestly. “I wanted to wait
until after the elections. Then when everything slowed down, we could talk it
through together and make some decisions.”
“That wasn’t our deal.” Donna continued to cry and shake her head.
“No, it wasn’t.” Josh admitted. “I guess my fear just kicked into overdrive and I
thought if you didn’t know I could pretend it wasn’t happening. Telling you makes it
all real.”
“Abby said that hypertrophic cardiomyopathy is caused by a thickening in the heart
muscle, and that yours is most likely a result from the surgery after Rosslyn.”
Donna recited dully.
“Yeah, that’s what I was told as well.” Josh agreed.
“Years and years later, we’re still dealing with the aftereffects aren’t we?”
“It looks like it.”
“It feels like it too.” Donna added. “Have you spoken to Stanley?”
“I don’t need to talk to-“
“That’s a ‘no’ then, is it?” Donna interrupted. “We’re going to take care of that
today.”
Josh thought about arguing with her but he’d learned something in all this, so he
shut his mouth and nodded instead.
“I’m also making appointments with the specialists that were recommended and we’
ll see what they have to say about delaying surgery.”
“You’re taking over?”
“Damn straight.” Donna affirmed. “I’m taking you home now. You can take a nap
with Jake.”
“A nap!” Josh objected. “I don’t need a nap.”
“That’s exactly what our son says. You can whine in bed together. Abby said you’
re going to need daily ‘rests’, a cut down in your work and travel schedule, and
stricter dietary program.”
“Joy.” Josh replied but followed Donna back to their car. When they got to it, Josh
stopped her from opening the door. “I am sorry, Donna. Will you forgive me?”
“I’m not quite there yet, Josh.” Donna admitted and his head fell to his chest. “But I
will.” She told him and kissed his forehead. “Let’s go. Jake is going to be delighted
to have company.”
********************************************************************
“You’d be a fool not to take it.” Brian told Billy.
“We’ll see…” Billy replied cryptically. “I’m more concerned about your career
decisions right now.”
“I’m not ready to make a decision right now.”
“Fair enough, but as a friend? Talk to Josh before you do anything. This…attitude
of his lately? That isn’t him. Well, I mean it is, but not usually to this degree.” Billy
chuckled at his own ineptitude. “I’ve known him forever and he’s taught me
everything I know. He can be the most stubborn, difficult, pain in the ass, but he’s
also the most loyal, hardworking, and sincere man I’ve ever met. Talk to Josh first.”
“I don’t need a lecture from him on my personal life.”
“I don’t think he’ll make that mistake again.” Billy acknowledged. “That being said,
we are going to need to handle this carefully with the press. You know that, right?”
“That’s part of the reason I was calling Josh in the first place.” Brian’s voice rose.
“Okay, then let’s work on that. I’m in favor of a non-announcement
announcement.” Billy grinned. “Let them ‘catch you’ having a romantic dinner
alone. We’re not making a big deal about it, because it isn’t a big deal to anyone
besides your family and friends.”
“Does this have to be so…Machiavellian?” Brian asked. “Seriously?”
“Hey, you’re the one who picked the timing of this thing. Come on, it will be fun.
The press will ‘bust’ you guys, and then you can ‘bust’ the press.”
“It’s always fun to outwit the media.” Brian acknowledged.
“There you go.” Billy chuckled and clapped Brian on the back. “What’s on the
candidate’s itinerary for the day?”
The two men shared strategy ideas and scheduling issues and before long, Brian
had put the strain in his relationship with Josh on the back burner.
***************************************************************
Josh got up from the couch as the doorbell rang again, and again. Donna, in
conjunction with Liz, had cancelled his schedule for the day and although he might
not admit it to Donna, he did feel better after his nap. He wasn’t sure if it was the
sleep, or the cuddling with his youngest child, or a combination of the two, but he
felt much better.
The doorbell continued to ring, so Josh picked up his pace in getting to the front
door. When he opened it, he was surprised to see Toby Ziegler standing on the
other side of it.
“Toby? What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Washington State
right now?”
Toby pushed through the door and dropped his bag on the floor.
“I heard there was a job opening here starting in November so I decided to come
out and apply.” He said dryly. “What the hell is going on over here? If you did
something awful to Donna I’ll take you out myself.”
“I didn’t- well, I sort of did.” Josh admitted. “Come in, Toby, and we’ll talk.” Josh
turned and walked back into the kitchen. He got them both a bottle of water out of
the fridge and sat heavily into a chair next to Toby. He took one deep breath and
told the whole story.
He began after the accident when they picked up an irregular rhythm on his heart
monitor. They did an electrocardiogram and heart MRI to investigate further and
diagnosed him with Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. When Toby asked for it in
English please, Josh explained that his heart muscles had grown thick from his
heart repair surgery after Rosslyn. They had grown so thick, that is was difficult for
the heart to pump and it was causing his heart to skip beats and beat irregularly,
that coupled with the heart tests indicated he was at a high risk for heart failure.
Then he recounted his decision to wait to tell Donna later. Toby listened carefully
and didn’t make a single comment until Josh was finished.
“You’re an idiot.” Toby confirmed succinctly and Josh was startled in a laugh.
“That’s it? That’s the sum of your reaction?” Josh asked still chuckling.
“No, I’ve got this too.” Toby used his now empty water bottle to hit Josh on the
head.
“Ow! What the hell?!”
“They should have done an MRI on your brain instead of your heart. There’s
obviously a much bigger problem with that organ. Do you have any idea how much
of a schmuck you are? You are lucky enough to have a woman like Donna in your
life and this is how you treat her? Leave her hanging in uncertainty and worry.”
Toby scoffed. “What’s next?”
“Well, I hope no more hitting.” Josh said all affronted.
“For your heart condition, you moron.” Toby continued to raise his voice.
“They’ve put me on new medication until they can do some follow up tests to see
what kind of a pacemaker they think I’ll need.” Josh told him.
“Donna’s on top of that now?” Toby confirmed.
“Yep. She’s made a phone appointment with Stanley too. And she’s invited my
mother to come out so we can talk to her in person instead of alarming her over
the phone.”
“Good.” Toby nodded. “I’m staying here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll go into the office
so you can pass off whatever needs to be done to me. That way you can focus on
your health for awhile.”
“I can still work Toby.” Josh argued.
“Not as much, I’m betting. And just because I’m taking over your office here, doesn’
t mean you won’t be consulting or consulted.” Toby replied.
“Wait a minute. Who said you were taking over my office?” Josh felt anger rising.
This was just what he’d hoped to avoid.
“Right now, I am, but if you want to get the rest of the team on the phone and vote
on it, we can do that instead.” Toby offered.
“Toby, please…I don’t want to…I’d like to keep this private for now.” Josh said
sincerely. “I don’t want people hovering or feeling sorry for me or watching
everything I do suspiciously. I just…please.”
Toby saw the pain and the sadness in his friend’s face. “Then let’s do this very
quietly. I can use any number of excuses to stay out here; there isn’t anybody who
wouldn’t believe you desperately needed my help.” Toby suggested and Josh
offered a watery chuckle. “Between Donna and me we can cover your stuff at the
office while you ‘work’ from here. But you’re going to have to level with the team
sooner or later.”
“Later then. After we’ve decided what to do next and when.” Josh bargained.
“Okay.” Toby agreed just as the front door slammed open.
“Jenny?” Tori called out.
“Jenny took Jake to the park, Tori. Come see Uncle Toby.” Josh called back.
Tori came barreling through the kitchen doorway and stopped suddenly when she
saw Toby sitting at the table with her Dad.
“It’s not the 4th of July.” Was her greeting.
“That’s true. It is not, in fact, the 4th of July.” Toby replied used to her unusual
greetings.
“Last time I saw you, you said, ‘We’ll see you on the 4th of July, Tori’.” Tori
continued.
“That was the plan.” Toby acknowledged. “But your dad here needs some help on
some work stuff so I came out to help him.”
“No, he doesn’t.” Tori disputed. “Daddy helps other people with work stuff. He
NEVER needs help.” Tori shook her head sadly at Toby.
“What the hell have you been telling this innocent child?” Toby asked Josh.
“And you shouldn’t swear cause of my ears are in the room.” Tori continued.
“Sorry.” Toby said immediately.
“Is that your bag by the door?” Tori asked.
“Yes…”
“Better put it away before Mom comes in. You’ll get it taken away if you leave it on
the floor.” Tori advised.
“I think he’s got a little time before Mom comes home.” Josh jumped in.
“Uh-uh.” Tori shook her head. “She’s in the driveway talking to the moving people.”
Tori reported.
“What?” Josh got up and walked quickly to the door. When he opened it there was
Donna talking to 3 guys in a furniture truck, just as Tori had said.
When Donna saw him she said something to the men and walked over to him; the
men trailing behind her.
“You’re moving out?” Josh said only half joking.
“Moving the bed out, so we can get the new bed in.” She said as if that should
mean something to him. Then she turned back to the men. “Go to the top of the
stairs and turn right. It’s the door at the end of the hall.”
“Donna?” Josh prodded her.
“It was suggested…that a bed that tilts up would be better for you. So I arranged to
have one delivered.” She smiled grimly. “You’d better move out of the way, they’ll
be coming down with the old bed soon.”
Josh immediately moved and took her with him. “Look who’s here.”
Donna immediately left Josh and walked over to give Toby a hug and a kiss.
“Thank you for coming.”
“Toby left his bag on the floor, Mommy.” Tori wasted no time in tattling.
“I saw that, baby, but Toby is a guest and we have different rules for guests.”
Donna explained.
“Oh.” Tori sounded disappointed that Toby’s bag wasn’t being taken away as a
consequence. “Toby is staying overnight. He should stay in Ben’s room cause they’
re both boys.”
“Toby can stay in the guest room.” Donna told her. “Will you be a good helper and
take his bag in there for him.”
“Yes, and then it’s time for snack.” Tori announced.
“We’ll all have snack together.” Donna promised as Tori skipped off to help. “You
brought Toby up to speed on developments here?”
“Yes. He seems to have concocted some sort of plan.” Josh replied.
“Good, we could use one.” Donna sent a sad smile Toby’s way. “We’ll lay it all out
after dinner.”