Phone Message
“Go see her before we leave.” She urges yet again. What is it with Donna and her
obsession in getting me together with Joey Lucas?
“It’s one in the morning!” I keep packing and try to ignore her.
“Go knock on her door.” She keeps getting louder.
“I’m not going to knock on her door at one in the morning!” I can get louder too.
“Yes, because you’re whisking away to Washington, and you had to see her ONE
MORE TIME before you left, because God knows what fate awaits you once you
get there.” Oh, she’s really bringing the drama major now, folks. She’s got the hand
motions and facial expression to fit her monologue and she’s totally into it.
“Are you okay?” I ask in all seriousness.
“Gather ye rosebuds, Josh.” Now she has her pouty face on.
“Donna, I am NOT going to knock on her door.” Face the facts, woman.
“Cluuuck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluuuuuck” What the hell was that?!
“Were you just clucking like a chicken? Is that what that was?” I think meeting David
Hasselhoff might have put Donna over the edge; although what she sees in that
gomer I have NO idea.
“Yes.” She’s back to being serious again. I can’t keep up with her tonight.
“Look. I couldn’t even knock on her door if I wanted to. I don’t have her room
number.” There. Take that. A logical reasonable excuse. I smirk.
“Phone message…phone message…” she’s singing now as she waves the phone
message in my face.
“Okay. First of all, don’t do that thing anymore with the ‘phone message, phone
message’.”
“And…?” She prompts me with this hopeful look on her face.
“Wait! How’s she going to know I’m knocking on the door?” I ask.
“There’s a button outside. A light flashes.” She rolls her eyes.
“Tell them I’ll be down in a minute.” I tell her and make my way down the hall and
take the stairs to Joey’s room 2 floors down. What the hell. It isn’t like I’m seeing
anyone else. Or there’s anyone else on the horizon. I have no social life other than
Donna. And Joey is an attractive woman who knows politics. We have lots in
common. Fine. I’ll give this a shot
*******************************************************
I am the most stupid man who ever lived. I mean, God, she even told me she was at
the event with somebody. Why did it never occur to me that the somebody might be
staying with her at the hotel? And Keiffer? Talk about adding insult to injury. I’d
have to seriously re-think being with someone who decided to be with Keiffer. Just
the thought of it makes my stomach crawl.
I get to the lobby and decide I need a moment to get myself together before I face
the rest of the crew. Donna is sure to ask about the outcome of my early morning
door knocking excursion and I’m not sure I can deal with that. I slump into one of
the chairs in the lobby and rub my hands over my face. Whatever happens I am
never telling Donna the truth about this.
“There you are!” Donna exclaims from behind me. Oh. God. Help. Me.
“Here I am.” I confirm.
“We need to leave.” She reminds me like I don’t know Air Force One is waiting for
us.
“Yep. “ I nod. “Time to go.” I get up slowly.
“How did it go with Joey? Was she touched by your romantic gesture?” She’s all but
dancing in front of me now, like…I don’t know, a puppy of some kind. I bark out a
laugh.
“Oh, she was touched alright.” I laugh again and now Donna’s looking at me like I’m
the crazy one. “She was touched…just not by me.”
“What are you talking about?” she asks in confusion.
“She is SLEEPING with Al KEIFFER! He opened her door.” Okay, that was a little
louder than I intended. Also, I remember, I wasn’t going to tell Donna about this.
“What? Are you sure?” she stops dead in front of me.
“Am I sure? I’m sorry, did you just ask me if I was sure?” Yes, I’m yelling at her now,
but I’ve been utterly humiliated in front of Al Keiffer and it’s all her fault. ‘phone
message, phone message’ and ‘gather ye rosebuds’. Well the damn rosebuds
have thorns stuck all over my body now.
“Maybe…he was just there going over California numbers. She said they share
polling numbers right?” Donna’s reaching hard, I’ll give her that but…
“At one in the morning? In his bathrobe?” I counter and see her face fall. Finally, I
succeed in silencing Donnatella Moss. She is silent throughout the entire trip to the
airport and even while we settle in. She isn’t pouting exactly but she’s…really sad.
Maybe I was too hard on her.
I take a seat next to her and spread the blanket I’ve got over both of us. She gives
me a weary smile.
After we take off and everyone else is asleep. I try to talk to her.
“You okay?”
She nods but I don’t believe her because she doesn’t lay her head on my shoulder
like she usually does during late night flights.
“Donna. What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, Josh. It’s all my fault.” She whispers.
“What?” I pretend like I wasn’t blaming her in my head a short time ago. “I decided
to go down there. It was my choice.”
“But, God, Al Keiffer? You must have been humiliated. And I provoked you into
going down there.”
“You have skills, Donnatella, but provoking me into doing something I don’t want to
do is not one of them.” I give her a look and she matches me the look and raises
me a raised eyebrow. “Okay, maybe sometimes you can provoke me into doing
things I don’t want to do, but this was not one of those times.”
“I just thought it would be nice if you had someone nice in your life.” She mutters.
“I do have someone nice in my life.” I squeeze her hand under the blanket we
share and laugh.
“I mean someone to have dinner with, watch a movie with, talk about important
things with.” She explains, but it only makes me laugh harder.
“Well, we never do THOSE things do we, Donna.” I tease.
“It’s not the same!” She insists.
“The same as what?” I ask curious now to get her answer.
“A real relationship where there’s a possibility of a future and, I don’t know…sex!”
she finishes and we both stop and stare at one another. One of us has just
crossed a line and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t me…although I may have provoked her
into it.
“Well…there is that.” I agree nodding my head and now studiously avoiding eye
contact with her. “But I look at it this way. I suck at…those kinds of relationships,
and I haven’t messed us up too badly yet, so I’m probably better off just sticking to
us.” There. The genie is back in the bottle. I risk a look at her now but I can’t read
her expression. She tilts her head at me and purses her lips for a moment. Then
she nods her head and lays it down on my shoulder. I swear she’s asleep within
seconds.
But now I can’t sleep and all through the long flight back, I’m left pondering two
things: 1) Why was she so determined to hook my up with Joey Lucas and 2) Why
is she willing to settle for our relationship when she missing the future with/sex thing
too. Could it possibly be the same reason I’m willing to settle?...Okay, that was
three things, but when we’ve landed in D.C. I’m no closer to answer than I was
when we left L.A.