Chapter 11
"Hey Donna, you know how you're always asking for more
responsibilities at work?"
"I'm sort of on disability right now, Joshua. Get someone else
to type up your briefs."
"I'm serious. This is a big step up, but I have confidence in
your ability to achieve this goal."
"What goal is that exactly?"
"Keeping the Israeli delegation from walking out on the peace
conference tomorrow morning."
"Right. I can't even walk to the Israeli delegation, and you
think I can convince them to stay?"
"Absolutely. You're the one person in our delegation I think
they will listen to. I know the Prime Minister is too much of a
gentleman to shut the door in your face. Let's take a stroll past
his cabin, shall we? On the way you can tell me how you ever let
yourself get duped by Colin Ayres."
"What are you talking about?"
"Danny Boy just bagged a 1 on 1 interview in London detailing the
bombing and his first hand account of my meeting with the
Palestinians."
"Josh, please tell me you're joking."
"I wish I was Donnatella. Turns out your roving photojournalist has
quite a history."
"No…"
"He's going to have a few questions to answer with our
intelligence counterparts in the UK. In fact, he should be doing just
that as we speak." I glance at my watch and calculate the time
difference. "And supposing he can't be held on charges there, he
will be asked to leave the country as a courtesy to the White House
Chief of Staff."
"Josh, I had no idea."
"I didn't think that you did. I think it's pretty obvious he
targeted you because you were a member of the CODEL." I see the
crushed look on her face. "Donna, I'm sorry. I just didn't
want you to have any further contact with him and I thought you
deserved to know why."
"Yeah…Yeah, okay." She looks up at me. "No gomer
comments? That's quite unlike you, Joshua."
"Well, your taste has improved dramatically since then."
"You mean just in the last couple weeks?"
"I prefer to think that you were in love with me all along, and
these other guys were just a pathetic attempt to make me jealous."
"Did it work?"
"Getting jealous is a pitiable, immature reaction…I was eaten
with it." I smile at her as I knock on the door to the Prime
Minister's cabin. When he comes to the door I move aside so he can
see Donna on the path.
"Mr. Prime Minister, I hope you'll allow me to introduce you to
my wife Donna. She wanted to meet you." Zahavy does a double
take as it registers who Donna is and what her relationship to me is.
I move behind her wheelchair and push her forward a bit. Zahavy
steps out of his cabin and walks over to Donna before taking her
hand.
"I'm very glad to meet you, Mrs. Lyman. May I say how sorry I am for
the unfortunate incident that took the lives of your friends? It must
have been a horrifying experience for you."
"Not any more horrifying than the people in Gaza experience on a
daily basis, Mr. Prime Minister. I was able to speak to many of the
people there and got a very good first hand look at what you're
facing there. I asked my husband to meet you so I could thank you."
"Thank me for what?"
"For taking the risk to come here and attempting to find a solution
to the terrible problems that are facing your people."
"I most desperately wish we could have achieved that goal."
"I haven't given up hope, Mr. Prime Minister. President Bartlet
is a brilliant leader; he and my husband our going to find a way to
broker peace. I know it."
"You are obviously a very loyal and loving wife. Mr. Lyman is lucky
to have you."
"He most certainly is." She responds; I cough as a signal to lay
off a bit but she pretends ignorance. "Please reconsider your
decision to leave tomorrow. From what Josh has shared with me,
you are very close to a solution."
"Unfortunately, the final point in our negotiation seems
insurmountable."
"I know what you mean. When I think about what it's going to
take to walk again, it seems completely insurmountable to me. But
Josh was just reminding me that hard work and determination can
make anything happen. I believe him, sir."
Zahavy looks from Donna to me and back again. "Perhaps you're
right, Mrs. Lyman."
"Actually, it's Moss-Lyman." That's it, I can't stay
quiet any longer.
"It is not!" I yell.
"It most certainly is, Joshua. Don't start a domestic squabble
in front of the Prime Minister."
"What's the point of legally binding you to me for life if you
don't take my name?"
"The point is that it's what I want." She looks smugly at
me.
"That's not a point! There's no point in that statement at
all."
"Mr. Lyman, if I may interject?" Zahavy asks and I nod. "I
have been married for many years now and one thing I have learned
is that if you can accept an answer like the one your wife just gave
you, you will find the rewards greater than you can imagine."
"You've been HAPPILY married for years, sir?"
"Yes, once I learned that very important lesson."
"Then I guess I should take your advice, sir."
"And I will take yours Mrs. Moss-Lyman and stay one more day and
see what we can achieve together." He takes Donna's hand again
and tells us goodnight. I start to wheel Donna back towards our
cabin.
"Very nice job, Donnatella."
"Does that mean I finally get my raise?"
"In a manner of speaking."
"What does that mean?"
"Now that we're married you get half of everything I make and my
pay grade is way above yours." She merely smirks at me. "Donna,
there's one other thing I need to ask you…about Ayres."
"Okay."
"At the hospital, in Germany, he gave me a disc of all the photos he
took in Gaza; including some photos of the bombing. He wanted me
to give them to you, but I didn't think you'd want them."
"No, I don't think I could look at them."
"Do you want me to destroy the disc?"
"I'm not ready to do that either. Can we just put them away
somewhere for now?"
"Of course. And if you should decide you'd like Ayres roughed up
a bit, we can always send that physical therapist to take care of
him."
"I would think the secret service would be more efficient for that
sort of thing."
"Who said I was looking for efficient? Slow and inefficient would be
just fine with me."
Chapter 12
"How you feelin' boss?" I ask him.
"Like I was run over by a truck. Not really different from any other
day this week. Plus, this physical therapist they have coming in here
is a jerk."
"His name isn't David Gruder, is it?"
"No, why?" Leo asks me.
"No reason. Listen. Just do what they tell you so you can get better
and get back here. This summit is driving me nuts."
"It was an uphill battle to begin with, son."
"You think this is a waste of time don't you?" There is a
short pause and I can hear Leo release his breath.
"I think there has been conflict in that region forever and the
President needs to focus on keeping his base satisfied or it won't
matter what you do there because his political capital will be
lost."
"So, that's a yes?"
"A qualified yes. That being said, the President has filled me in on
this brainstorm the two of you came up with, and it has some
possibilities. Was it really your idea, or did Donna come up with
it."
"Let's say she was the inspiration."
"When are you going to bring your wife over here to see me?"
"She's busy cussing out the First Lady of the United States
right now, but we'll come see you soon. If we don't get anywhere
today, it'll be game over anyway."
"Hang in there, son. You're doing good work over there. I'm
proud of you."
"Because of the work I'm doing or because my decision to marry
Donna in Germany won you $100 bucks in the pool?"
"A little of both, quite honestly. And the President wasn't
supposed to tell you about that."
"Are you kidding me? He's been bragging about it to anyone
who's standing still. Just get better and get back here soon, will
you? I don't have your kind of patience."
"Josh, we talked about this already. I'm not coming back; not to
that job anyway. You might as well move your stuff into the Chief of
Staff's office. It's your time."
"Maybe, but Donna needs me right now and I promised I'd put us
first in all this. I'm worried that if I take this job permanently I
would have a hard time maintaining that balance."
"Josh. Is it hard to have a life and work in the White House? Yes,
in almost any job and it's certainly more true for the Chief of
Staff, but you and Donna work together there and if there's anyone
you could count on to make sure you have balance in your life it's
Donna. After all, she's already been doing it for years." That
makes me laugh.
"I guess. Do what the doctors tell you and get some rest. We'll
be out to see you as soon as we can." We say goodbye and hang
up the phone. Talking to Leo always makes me feel better. It's like I
still have a connection to my Dad through him.
The Israeli Prime Minister kept his word to Donna and even brought
some additional ideas to the table this morning. Now, Chairman
Farad is preparing his response. There's a lot of hurry up and wait in
diplomacy. No wonder I hate it so much.
When I get back to our cabin, with a five inch briefing book tucked
under my arm, I find Donna asleep on the bed. Unable to resist, I
slide next to her on the bed and mold my body to hers. Her PT really
wears her out; I remember the feeling. I stroke her hair and enjoy
the feeling of just `being' with her. The President is right; we need to
get away, just the two of us, as soon as we can manage it. My touch
wakes her and she turns her head to look drowsily at me.
"How's Leo?" she asks and earns a kiss.
"He's grousing almost as much as you about physical
therapy."
"Did you find a felonious therapist for him too?"
"You're a riot, Donnatella. How long before you figure you can
let that one go? Man, a husband tries to take care of his wife's
needs, and all he gets is hell for it."
"Maybe you should concentrate on other needs that your wife
has." She turns her body toward me and starts kissing her way up
mythroat. I moan in response to her intimate touch. Then it hits me;
should she be doing this?
"Donna, wait, what about your leg and your injuries?"
"Don't worry." She continues to kiss me as she unbuttons my
shirt. "I cleared it with my Doctor."
"Okay, good….Wait a minute, your doctor, as in Dr. Bartlet?"
I squeak. "You discussed our sex life with Dr. Bartlet?!"
"How do you think she gets me motivated to do leg lifts? Besides,
there's not much sex life to discuss at this point due to medical
conditions and scheduling issues. I think it's time we remedied
that, don't you?"
"You talked to Dr. Bartlet about this? God, why didn't you just
talk to the President?"
"I thought that might be awkward for you. Josh, can you just focus
your considerable energy on your wife right now? I promise I can
make you forget all about Dr. Bartlet." she promises as she strips off
my shirt and starts to work on my pants. I'm starting to see the
advantages in listening to my wife.
# # # # # # # # #
I can't believe we wasted all those years not having sex. Even with
certain medical restrictions, making love with Donna Moss-Lyman
was amazing. Yes, I know, I gave in on the hyphen, but I swear if she
had done for you what she did for me, you'd have agreed to a
hyphen or any other punctuation she asked for. The best part is that
two hours have passed and I didn't even get twitchy waiting for
Farad's response. Donna may have discovered a way to teach me
patience.
So when my pager goes off, I'm energized and ready to get to work;
that is once I've disentangled Donna's sleeping body from mine.
It takes a little effort, but I get her tucked back into the blankets
with her leg elevated on a pillow and quickly get dressed.
When I get to the main building, everyone is pouring over a
document, presumably Farad's response. Toby gives me a copy by
throwing it at me from his spot on the couch.
"What does it look like?" I ask as I start to skim the pages.
"If you'd come when we paged you, you'd know already."
He complains.
"I had a…thing…with…Donna needed help
with…stuff." This is especially awkward with the President and
First Lady sitting across from us. I can NOT look at Dr. Bartlett right
now.
"How's her leg, Joshua. Any difficulty with mobility?" she
asks trying to sound all innocent; I know better. I will not let her
draw me into her trap.
"I'm not a medical expert on leg mobility, Ma'am. You're
the physician."
"Lots of times, the key to successful physical therapy is simply
finding the right motivation for the patient." she tries to egg me
on; I'm NOT biting.
"If you say so Dr. B." I continue reading. This looks doable.
We're going to need international support, but we could actually do
this.
"What would you say your motivation was after Rosslyn, Josh?"
Now the President's head pops up from his reading and he looks
over at his wife, catching the subtle nuance in her voice.
"I'd have to say my primary motivation was getting back to work,
Ma'am."
"Well I believe that was a motivation Joshua, but I don't really
think it was your primary motivation. Do you think so Jed?" Now all
the sharks smell blood in the water. No one besides me is even
pretending to read Farad's counter proposal.
"Well, Abigail, I always thought it was due to the personal
determination of Donna Moss. She practically moved in with him,
instituted the `rules', and made sure he did everything he was
supposed to in order to recover."
"He's right." Dr. Bartlet agrees. "It's time to
return the favor, Josh. In fact, I was just talking to Donna earlier
about exercises the two of you could do together that-"
I literally spit out the coffee I am attempting to drink. "Dear God,
will you please stop?!" I turn a face, completely red, toward the
wife of my boss. "We're kind of in the middle of a policy thing
right now."
"I'm sorry if I'm distracting you Josh. Maybe I'll just
go check on Donna while you attend to business." She starts to rise
and kisses her husband's cheek.
"That would be great." I choke out as I return my attention to
the document in front of me. Then I remember Donna is naked in
our bed sleeping at the moment. "Wait, Dr. B., ummm she was, you
know, sleeping when I left. You must have really tired her out with PT
today."
"All tired out, hmmm? Then I'll just let her rest." Her
twinkling eyes meet mine.
"Yeah, rest…Mr. President, this document doesn't look much
different to me than the one we gave him a few hours ago. Am I
missing something?"
"I hate to say this out loud and risk the wrath of whatever from
high atop the thing, but this looks promising." Toby looks up at me
with what can almost be described as a smile which I return.
"What's next, Mr. President?" I ask him.
"Next, I get on the phone with our allies and see what kind of
support we can garner internationally. I need you to conference with
Congressional leaders and get them on board with us." he orders as
he gets up to go make his calls.
"Who you going to start with?" Toby asks with his eyes closed.
"If I don't start with Haffley, there'll be hell to pay
later on, but then I need to get the rest of our cabinet up to speed so
they can start spinning it the minute we're ready to announce."
I see the look on his face. "If, you know there happens to be
anything noteworthy to announce."
"The Vice-President needs an update. He can bring in his colleagues
in the House." Will adds.
"Okay, but Will?" I wait to continue until he faces me.
"Make it absolutely clear this does not leak before we're ready.
If he keeps a lid on this and helps us out I can make sure he's here
for the announcement."
"Got it." he takes off at a trot.
"The intelligence committee should be brought in too." Kate
suggests.
"How about you take point on that, since you speak their
language."
"Consider it done." The energy in the room is contagious and
even Kate Harper is reacting to it. "Nice work, boss. " she says
and I do a double take as her words register with me.
"Thanks, Commander. I need someone from each delegation in my
office in 10 minutes. Once we get final details ironed out we'll want to
set up a meeting with the President, Chairman Farad, and Prime
Minster Zahavy for later this evening." Ed and Larry take off
responding to my requests.
"Jesus, Toby. Are we really doing this?" I ask shaking my head.
"Looks that way to me…boss." He smirks as he says it and I
grin back. "You should really think about making the position
permanent. You don't completely suck at it, you know." he pours
more coffee into my cup.
"I don't completely suck at it? Toby, please stop. Your
outrageous compliments are going to go to my head."
"I'm just saying, it's a tough job and you got it under
difficult political and personal circumstances. You should be proud of
what you've done and how you've done it."
I am literally choked up now. I don't know if I can actually speak
right now, so I just nod and start to walk out.
"Of course it's probably more Donna's abilities than
yours…" he adds as I leave the room and it brings on a full out
laugh as I realize he's probably right.
Chapter 13
Never in my lifetime, did I imagine I would be standing next to my wife,
watching the President sign a Middle East Peace accord. Now if you
asked me which was more unlikely, having Donna as my wife, having
a Middle East Peace accord, or having any wife at all, I would have
been hard pressed to give you an answer, but the fact that they are
all true has me a little flummoxed.
After the signing, there is reception that we all are expected to
attend. Normally, Donna might work the event, but today she is a
guest of the President and I've been assigned to act as her driver.
She seems to enjoy the fact that she can order me around. In fact,
everyone seems to be enjoying it. That's okay, Donna is alive and
healing and we've just taken the first step toward peace in the
Middle East.
At one point during the press event, I left Donna in the very capable
hands of CJ Cregg only to find out when I returned that the two of
them had agreed to an on air interview…without even discussing it
with me!
"CJ what the hell?" I demanded.
"We've been getting dozens of requests for an interview with
Donna. Since she is not willing or able to fulfill all those requests,
we chose one interviewer we thought would play nice and respect
theboundaries we set up."
"Donna, you simply can not have thought this through."
"Actually I have Joshua, but thanks for your support and
encouragement." she replies snottily.
"Donna, they are going to ask about Gaza, they are going to ask
about the explosion; they are certainly going to ask you to comment
on the things Colin Ayres said. Did you think about that?"
"As a matter of fact I did. I welcome the opportunity to comment on
what that Irish dog said about you and about me." Donna's
getting pissed now and CJ is getting nervous at the attention we're
starting to receive.
"Do you think we could move this little domestic squabble somewhere
more private?" she asks, looking around to see who's watching
us.
"Yeah, and there'll be questions about that too. `How long
have you been sleeping with your boss, Mrs. Lyman?' That should
be fun, huh?"
"I'll be in the mural room at 4 tomorrow talking to Chris
Matthews whether you like it or not. CJ, will you take me over to see
Bonnie? I haven't had a chance to thank her yet for the flowers she
sent me in Germany."
With an apologetic glance, CJ wheels my wife to the opposite end of
the room. Married less than a month and it looks like I'm going to be
sleeping on the couch.
# # # # # # # # #
She didn't make me sleep on the couch, although I might as well
have considering the cold shoulder I got when we arrived home. I
could tell she was mad, even I am not THAT oblivious, but Donna
has no idea what she's getting herself into. This is not an area she
has any experience in and the subject of this interview is going to be
extremely emotional.
The next morning at breakfast, I try to make her see reason one last
time.
"Okay, I'm not saying you can't do it. I'm not even
saying you shouldn't do it. All I'm saying is that MAYBE you
shouldn't do it right now on Hard Ball."
"I'm not doing it right now. I'm doing it at 4 PM today in
the mural room, surrounded, I hope, by friends, colleagues, and my
husband." She pauses and I see how vulnerable she really is in just
that one glance. "Will you be there, Josh?"
"Of course I will, Donna." I take her hands so she'll look
at me. "I just worry about you. This is heavy stuff for me and I
wasn't even in that vehicle. Will you promise me one thing?"
"Maybe…"
"Work out some signal with CJ to get you out of there early if you
start to feel…I don't know…too much. Will you at least do
that for me?" she nods and I feel a little better, but not much.
# # # # # # # # #
Donna is having her mic placed for a last minute sound check and
Chris Matthews is making small talk with her until they're ready to go.
CJ is hovering within a couple feet of Donna per my instructions. I
see the nerves in Donna's eyes and I lean down to whisper in her
ear.
"You'll be fine. Chris is a decent guy and CJ and I are both
here if you need us. Remember, you don't have to answer anything
you don't want to."
"I love you, Josh Lyman. Thanks for being here. Margaret told me
you cancelled your meeting with the FED chair to be here."
"I promised you that we would come first. I love you too, Mrs.
Lyman."
"Moss-Lyman." She cracks back at me like I knew she would. I
shake hands with Chris Matthews with a warning glare in my eyes
that says `Mess with my wife, and I will SO mess with you.' Normally,
my glare might not be enough to guarantee compliance, but the 2
secret service agents flanking me make me feel confident my
message will be taken seriously.
"Good evening, and welcome to Hard Ball. I'm Chris Matthews.
Today, we are very fortunate to have the opportunity to speak with
Donna Moss-Lyman who is the sole survivor of the horrific bombing
in Gaza that took the lives of two Congressmen, their aides, and
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace. Thanks for coming on to talk to me,
Donna." She nods her head in acknowledgment but says nothing.
CJ told me she and Toby prepped her for over 2 hours today.
"Donna, first tell us how you came to be part of the CODEL, or
Congressional Delegation, to Gaza. You were the senior aid to then
Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman at that time. Was going on
CODEL's part of your job description?"
"Not normally, no. But in this instance I was asked to go to report
back on what I saw and heard first hand in Gaza. President Bartlet
and his staff were determined to do all they could to help the victims
on both sides of the conflict."
"And what can you tell us about what you learned while you were
there?" he asks her.
"The people who live and work in Gaza are in constant fear of
violence. What surprised me most, was despite that state of
hyper-vigilance, most people there were just trying to go about their
daily lives; just like you and me."
Then an astonishing thing happens. On the monitor, flashes
pictures of Donna in Gaza. Ayre's pictures. God, Donna, what have
you done?
The pictures continue to scroll and I feel sick because I know what is
coming up. When Donna asked me to hold on to Colin's disc I had
done just that; I put it in my office for safe keeping, but not before I
looked at them.
"You were there for 6 days before the bombing occurred. What were
your impressions of the people the CODEL was sent to talk to?"
"These people are desperate to find a peaceful solution to the
conflict there, but they are deeply entrenched in the offenses from
the past."
Now the monitor freezes on an image of Donna smiling at the
camera with her hand on the open door of the SUV the delegation
had been traveling in.
"What can you tell us about the bombing itself? What do you
remember?"
"Not a lot, Chris, which is probably a blessing. I remember talking
to Admiral Fitzwallace right before there was a loud noise and I could
feel us being thrown up into the air. That's the last thing I
remember before waking up in a German Hospital in Landstuhl."
I purposefully look away from Donna and the monitors as the
pictures of the bombs aftermath take over the entire screen.
"Can you tell us about the extent of your injuries?"
"Without using medical lingo, my leg was severely damaged, I had a
concussion from the force of the blast, and many cuts and bruises.
After I was in the hospital, I developed a pulmonary embolism that
required emergency surgery. It was very scary."
"How are you doing today? I understand you've had an excellent
personal physician."
"Yes, while I was at Camp David, Dr. Bartlet took very good care of
me; not that I always appreciated her dedication. Now that I'm home
I have a very good doctor as well as a physical therapist that the
First Lady found for me." At this comment, she sends a wry look my
way. I just shake my head.
"How long is your recovery expected to take?"
"No one can say for sure; months at the very least, although no one
can guarantee that I will recover completely to where I was before
Gaza. A lot depends on the determination of the patient and I can
tell you I am very determined.
"Where do you think that determination comes from?"
"My family and friends have played a major role, but my primary
motivation comes from a bet I have with my husband."
"A bet? That sounds very interesting; care to share with the
class?"
"I'm afraid that might taint the bet. Maybe after I win."
"Speaking of your husband," oh boy, here it comes. "Josh
Lyman was recently promoted to his current position as White House
Chief of Staff when his boss and some say mentor, Leo McGarry,
suffered a massive heart attack. How is he adjusting to his new
position in the heat of all that's been happening in the Middle East?"
Donna throws a look at me and smirks.
"Josh has never had a deficiency in the confidence department as
you well know, Chris, but I know he took this position under the worst
circumstances. Leo McGarry has been a boss, a mentor, and a
father to Josh for many years. Stepping into Leo's shoes was very
difficult for him. That being said, I think he's performed very well in
the role he was thrust into and I'm very proud of the work he's
done."
"That work is something that you've done together for many years
as his senior assistant. Will you continue to work as his assistant now
that he's Chief of Staff and now that you're married?"
"Josh has only agreed to serve as interim Chief of Staff so I
don't know what he'll be doing 2 months from now, let alone what
I will be doing once I've recovered enough to go back to work full
time. At present, I'm helping with research and briefing books from
my laptop at home."
"And working with your husband? Will that be a problem for you?
There's been a lot of speculation about your relationship with your
boss for a long time. What do you say to the people who say that
dating in the workplace, particularly the White House, is
inappropriate?"
"I would say that life in the White House is a pressure cooker, and
if can people can date without it affecting their jobs, good luck to
them. However, that doesn't really apply to Josh and I since we
never dated."
"You never dated, yet you felt strongly enough about your
relationship to marry him on a few hours notice in Germany?"
"We've worked together for years; 16-20 hour days discussing
every issue under the sun. We traveled all over the country for the
campaign, we watched one another make mistakes with personal
relationships, and at some level we both felt there was something
much stronger between us than friendship. We also felt we could
never do anything about it as long as we were working for the
President. We both respect and admire the President very much
and we would never do anything to bring scandal to his
administration." The sincerity and simplicity of her answer cuts off
the 12 follow up questions I'm sure Matthews has written on his
cards and he simply smiles at her.
"I'm curious about your opinion of the peace accord the
President signed yesterday."
"I don't create foreign policy, Chris. However, I am extremely
proud to have been even a very small part of this process. President
Bartlet pursued his plan for peace in the face of some very strong
opposition here at home. Now that he's been successful there's
been a large contingent attempting to jump on his band wagon."
"One voice of opposition has come from a photojournalist who
claims, among other things, to have a personal relationship with you
and personal knowledge of secret meetings your husband had with
the Palestinians in Germany. In fact, I believe the pictures of Gaza
you supplied us with are the work product of Colin Ayres. Is that
correct?"
"Which part?...Yes, I know Colin Ayres, and yes those photographs
are his. As to a personal relationship…since you yourself noted that
I was only in Gaza 6 days before the bombing, and I never met Mr.
Ayres before that, I'll leave it to you to judge how much of a personal
relationship could develop in that time."
"What about his knowledge of your husband's meetings in
Germany?"
"Mr. Ayres came to see me in Germany while I was recovering, that is
when he passed on those photographs. Josh had meetings and
conference calls the entire time he was in Germany. The White
House was dealing with a crisis and Josh is an important part of the
President's response team. However, what those meetings entailed
and who they were with, that is simply speculation on Mr. Ayres part.
Josh does not share much of that type of information with me due to
security issues; he certainly wouldn't have shared any of it with a
man he had just met."
"So Colin Ayres allegations are false?"
"Mr. Ayres told me he wanted me to see parts of Gaza that aren't
usually part of the official tour. He is very knowledgeable about the
conflict there and I appreciated the time he took to make sure I had
an accurate picture that I could take back to Josh and the President."
She paused and looked up at Chris, meeting his eyes squarely. "It
turns out that he had other motives for his helpfulness; some involve
money and some involve political ideology, but it's no accident that
he's been booked on every show from here to Anchorage planting
doubt about the feasibility of the peace plan. It's also not
coincidental that he's been questioned by the intelligence agency in
London. I now regret having anything to with him for more than 1
reason." There is dead silence for about 30 seconds as the camera
pans back and forth between Donna and Chris.
"There was a great deal of debate while you were recovering in
Germany about whether or not the President acted quickly enough
toretaliate for the bombing that took American lives. As a victim of
that
terrorist act, would you have wanted the President to act more
quickly?"
"I think that it's natural for victims and their friends/family
members to want to exact revenge for the horrible crimes committed
against them, but that's not the job of the President. The President
has to think in national and even global terms. He took the time he
needed to make a calm reasoned decision and I believe he was
absolutely right to do so."
"Does your husband agree with that call as well?"
"I wasn't conscious at the time, but I have it on good authority
from Leo McGarry that is initial reaction might have been a little more
emotional than calm and reasoned. I like to think that had more to do
with me than the issues in Gaza."
"Any chance you could get your husband to stop lurking in the
shadows back there, throwing daggers at me with his eyes, and join
us for a question or two?"
"I'm afraid not. You'd have to negotiate that with him
directly. We've agreed not to make any kind of commitments for one
another."
"Is that the key to a successful marriage in D.C.?"
"I don't know if there's one key and we've been married
a very short time, but you can ask me again in a few years."
"I'll look forward to it. Thank you Donna Moss-Lyman for talking
to us today."
"You're welcome Chris." The technical director calls
`cut' and I'm by Donna's side in a heartbeat. I kiss her
and then shake her.
"The pictures Donna? Why did you have to use the pictures and
more importantly, why didn't you tell me you planned to use the
pictures?"
"You would have said no."
"Damn right I would have said no."
"Then we would have had a huge fight which would have only upset
me before the interview where I would have used the pictures
anyway. This way, we could avoid the whole fight."
"Have you been talking to my Mother?" Chris laughs out loud. I
forgot he was standing there.
"You, sir, should know better than to try to bait me through
Donna." He holds both his hands up in surrender.
"I had to give it a try. I would love to have a sit down with the
White House Chief of Staff."
"Interim Chief of Staff and I'm not the story. I wish Donna
wasn't part of the story, but I can't seem to do anything about
that." I throw another dirty look her way. "I can't seem to
do anything at all where she is concerned."
"Well that's just not true." She teases me sending me a
flirtatious look from under her lashes as another member of the crew
takes off her mic. Chris laughs again.
"Well, Mr. Interim Chief of Staff, you may be the second most
powerful man in Government, but I have no doubt who has the most
power in this relationship. If you change your mind about that sit
down, give me a call. Donna, it was a pleasure talking to you. Take
care and get well soon. Josh, congratulations on your
marriage…she's perfect for you." He chuckles as he walks out and I
can't help the feeling that I've just been insulted.
"Come on Mrs. Moss-Lyman. It's time for you to go home and get
your PT."
"So it's payback time now, huh?"
"Absolutely." I wheel her out of the mural room to take her
home, but my heart feels heavy after looking at those pictures and
remembering I'm the one who sent her there.
Chapter 14
It's 3 AM when the nightmare hits. I wake up shaking and sweating.
Donna is stroking my arm, talking quietly to me. When I manage to
open my eyes and look at her I see tears falling from her eyes and
that brings tears to mine.
"Donna, don't cry. I'm okay." I pull her into my arms
and we hold each other.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She sobs into my chest.
"What the hell are you sorry for?"
"It was the pictures. The pictures set everything off. I should
never have done it. I'm sorry. I should have at least warned you.
I'm so sorry, Josh."
"Hey, hold on. Calm down. Yes, I wish you would have told me about
the pictures, but the nightmare…that's not your fault." I
give an ironic laugh.
"What are you laughing about?" she accuses.
"Chris may be right; you are perfect for me. Or we are perfect for
each other. I've been over here sick to my stomach thinking it was
all my fault that you were even in Gaza in the first place; exposed to
the violence, exposed to Ayres. Meanwhile you're here thinking how
my PTSD is set off because of something you did. Donna, you are
not responsible for my PTSD, and maybe, just maybe, I'm not
entirely at fault for what happened to you in Gaza." Her breathing
has slowed down and the tears have stopped.
"I'm still sorry, Joshua." She kisses me as she says it.
"Well maybe now you'll see the advisability of consulting me
before you make decisions of any kind." She knocks me onto my
back in a mock attack. "What the hell was that for?"
"I wanted to be sure you knew you weren't still dreaming.
Consult with you; right!" She kisses me again. "I never blamed
you for what happened in Gaza. Never. I'm sorry you did."
"You would never have been there if I hadn't sent you."
"And you wouldn't have been at the Newseum if the President
hadn't asked you to go. Do you blame him for what happened
afterwards?"
"No, of course not, but it's not the same thing."
"It's exactly the same thing…I promise not to blindside you
like that again."
"Okay. We're okay now?"
"We're okay…" She pulls my head down to her shoulder and
massages my temples until I fall back to sleep.
# # # # # # # # #
# # #
It's 6:30 PM and I am packing my backpack to bring some work home
with me. I know it's early, but I cleared it with the President; or
rather Donna cleared it with Debbie who cleared it with the
President. I hate it when she circumvents me like that. Anyway, she
said she's starting with a new therapist today and she wants me
there when she does. Since she didn't give me any shit about
whether or not this one is a felon, I decided to just go along.
My driver, yes this job has some nice perks, makes it home in record
time and I am through the door at 6:48 according to my crappy
watch; which means 7:00 to everyone else. Right on time! So then
why is Donna on the couch crying?
"Donna? What's wrong?"
"Well, you know when I said I wouldn't blindside you again? I
may have been overstating it a bit." She sniffles.
"How you doing, Josh?" came a familiar voice from behind me. I
slowly turn to see Dr. Stanley Keyworth standing in my living room.
"Stanley…" I shake his hand but keep my eyes on Donna.
"How's it going here?"
"Pretty good. I was glad to hear about you and Donna. She's been
catching me up." I continue to watch my wife.
"Is that so? Did you tell her I called you myself not two days
ago?" I ask still keeping eye contact with Donna and have the
satisfaction of watching them go wide with surprise.
"Now that would be a breach of patient/doctor confidentiality. I did
think it was interesting that neither of you thought you needed help
yourself, but both of you were convinced that the other one needed
help. God, did that even make sense?"
"I think we get your gist." Donna drawled and finally broke eye
contact with me.
"You have both been through a rather traumatic turn of events in the
past few weeks; some very positive, some very negative, but all of
them life changing. I thought, if you're both agreeable it might be
most beneficial for the 3 of us to talk together."
I nod as I sit down and take Donna's hand in mine. "Where do we
start, Stanley?"
"We already have Josh."
# # # # # # # # #
# # #
It's not fun, and it's not easy, but bit by bit we start to wade
through our recent experiences and my chest starts to feel a little
lighter. Having gone through this process before I know it's not a
one night gig, but I feel like we've made a start.
"You have each other, and that's no small advantage."
Stanley said as he left. "Don't forget you're partners
now…I'll talk to you soon."
"Josh, what are you thinking?" she asks me once he left.
"I'm thinking we should order some pizza, drink some wine, and
have a celebration." I take her hands and draw her up until
she's standing next to me.
"Celebrate what, exactly?"
"That we have each other. That for the first time in years we can do
this." And I kiss her until her knees buckle, which may not take
much in her current medical condition, but still. I pick her up in my
arms and sit down on the couch with her on top of me.
"I love you, Donnatella. I love you so much." My hands wander
across her back losing themselves in her soft, long hair. Her mouth
makes a path down my throat as she moans her pleasure at my
touch and I don't think I have ever been so aroused in my life. This
woman, this moment, is where my heart has needed to be for so
long. But in the past work has always come first. My priorities have
always been about politics and about the President. Not anymore.
I'm not sure when the exact moment was that they changed; maybe
when the bomb went off in Gaza, maybe when she admitted lying to
Congress to protect me, maybe when she first opened her eyes and
said my name in Germany. All I know is that now things are different
and I can't keep pretending they're not.
We make love right there on the couch, never even making the
effort to move to a bed. We don't remember to order pizza until
nearly midnight. We eat it, mostly naked, on the living room floor and
finish an entire bottle of wine despite the fact that tomorrow I have
staff at 7 AM. We talk and we tease one another well into the night
and make love again just a couple hours before my alarm goes off.
# # # # # # # # #
# # #
When I get into the office I am tired, but relaxed and more certain
about what I need to do than I ever have been before. I ask Debbie
to schedule 15 minutes with the President privately after staff. She
gives me a weird look, but does as I ask without comment.
Staff goes smoothly. For the most part we're managing the day to
day necessities of putting the peace plan into action while running
herd on a couple bills the President wants to move through
Congress quickly. CJ updates me on what's coming up in the press
room; she says with a grin that the feedback from Donna's sit down
has been very positive, but that's mostly because the press likes her
more than me.
She's probably right.
Toby and Will are at it again, but this is nothing new to anyone who
has to work with Toby…just ask Sam. I should really call Sam. I
haven't spoken to him since we got back from Germany. I couldn't
let him hear about our marriage in the news.
I have Leo join us by conference call this morning and he
admonishes me about appointing a deputy, before moving on to his
ideas about where we should focus our energies in the coming
months. Everyone seems to have
an idea to contribute and it hits me that this is what I'll miss
most. This collaboration with the best and the brightest to change
theway the world works.
I send the team on their various assignments and head into the oval.
"What can I do for you Josh?" he asks without looking up from
the papers he's signing.
"Mr. President, I would never have imagined any circumstances
under which I would be standing here saying this to you." At this, he
looks up at me and takes off his glasses.
"I'm going to need a new Chief of Staff, aren't I Josh?"
"I'm afraid so. It has been an honor to serve you sir."
"I appreciate how well you've stepped up to the plate with Leo
gone. You've been a tremendous asset as Chief of Staff, as well as
serving me as Deputy. How long will you give me?"
"I serve at the pleasure of the President, sir."
"Then how does a year and a half work for you?" he jests.
"That's a little longer than I anticipated, sir."
"You don't think Donna will go for that?"
"I haven't brought this up with Donna yet, sir. Other than
telling her I wasn't going to accept this post permanently."
"Oh, Joshua. You may have a brilliant political mind, but you're
going to need to work on the communication in marriage a little more.
Abby will be glad to give you a few pointers if you like."
"That's very generous, I'm sure, sir, but I think I'll
pass."
"I bet you will." He grins at me. "Work up a list of
possible candidates for your position for my consideration. In fact,
work up two lists for both jobs you've quit on me."
"Sir, I-" but he interrupts me before I can finish the sentence.
"Just giving you a hard time, Josh, but get those lists to me today
if possible. And if you can see your way clear to stay on for two more
months, it would help me win my money back from Leo."
"It seems that's the least I can do, Mr. President."
"Thanks, Josh."
"Thank you Mr. President."
Chapter 15
I know what you're thinking. When I tell Donna I quit my job today
without talking to her about it, I'm a dead man. Maybe with a lesser
mortal that would be true, but I, Joshua Lyman, political mastermind,
have a plan. Sort of…
"Donna?!" I shout as I walk into our place. "Donna!!"
"Don't shout." She tells me in her normal condescending tone
of voice. I follow the sound into the kitchen where she is making
dinner at 9:00 at night. What a woman! I reach over her shoulder to
kiss her cheek while dipping my finger into the alfredo sauce she's
making and she smacks my hand. She's sitting on the stool as she
stirs, which tells me her body is tired from PT, but still, she didn't
have to hit me.
"This is a nice surprise. I thought I'd have to order Chinese
tonight."
"I was in the mood to cook something and since Margaret was kind
enough to give me a heads up about when you'd be home, I knew
just when to put the pasta in."
"Sorry about that, Donna. I got hung up on a phone call with
Davidson."
"About filling your position?" WHAT? Wait, maybe she means
deputy COS.
"What?"
"He'd make a decent COS. I understand why you'd have him on
your short list, but I really think you should consider CJ for the
job."
"Excuse me?"
"She knows the job, same as Davidson, but more importantly, she
knows the President and he knows her. He doesn't adjust well to new
people."
"Maybe so, but Davidson has more pull in Congress than- Wait.
Where did you hear about this?"
"Not from my husband, but that's fitting since you didn't
tell me when you took the job either." Ouch. So much for the plan A;
now it's plan B, punt.
"Hell Donna, I only talked to the President this morning. Nothing is
official yet."
"Well that's okay then. When it's official, just have CJ
issue a press release, okay? That way I can keep up with your life on
CSPAN."
"Donna, I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd have a problem
with me leaving the White House."
"I don't have a problem with you leaving the White House,
Joshua, I have a problem with you not discussing major life changes
with me."
I turn her around on the stool so we're facing each other.
"I'm sorry, Donna, I blew it. I'm just not used to running
my decisions by anyone else."
"What are you talking about? You used to run decisions by me all
the time."
"That was at work and about work. This is different. After last
night, after Stanley left, I couldn't imagine giving up any more of
our time for this job. I've given enough, we've both given
enough. I want us to have some time alone together. Then we can
decide, together, where we want to go from here."
"So I'm supposed to quit too?" her eyebrow quirks up.
"I would never make that kind of decision without talking about it
with you first." I respond obediently. Her lips twitch.
"Good man…You really quit?"
"I gave two months notice. That way, when I win our bet, I'll be
free to go anywhere you want to take me."
"Like hell. It'll be you taking me."
"Does it really matter?"
"Not as long as we go together, I guess. Are you sure this is what
you want to do? You don't know how to work outside of politics."
"Who says I'll be outside of politics. I have standing offers to
lecture at half a dozen universities and I'm sure there's a
candidate or two who could use my wisdom in their campaign. The
problem is going to be you."
"Me?!"
"I'm going to have to convince whoever hires me that we come as
a package deal."
"That's going to be difficult, is it?"
"Maybe not, I am in awfully high demand…Do you really think CJ
for COS?"
"I really do, and so do you."
"How do you know what I'm thinking?"
"Please, Joshua, it's not that hard."
"That's kind of scary."
# # # # # # # # #
In the following two weeks, Donna started coming back to work part
time as advisor to the Chief of Staff. She's going to report, for the
time being, to a supervisor in Human Resources just to keep it all
clean and aboveboard. She still does a great deal of work from
home, but it's working for everyone, so what's the big deal right?
The big deal is that I miss her. I'm used to having her with me all day
everyday; being apart for 6-8 hours sucks.
CJ has been filling in as Deputy Chief of Staff as she prepares to
make the jump to Chief of Staff in 6 more weeks. Yes, Donna was
right about that. The President flipped over the idea. CJ seemed a
little spooked at first, but she's getting into the swing. The one who
is really suffering is Toby.
Toby has taken over press briefings and he makes my `secret plan
to fight inflation' act look professional. I mean he totally tanked!
All he had to do was announce CJ was moving to Deputy COS and I
thought they were going to light the podium on fire. I had Margaret
put in on DVD so Donna and I could watch it at our leisure.
Donna is getting her strength back day by day, but not without a lot
of hard work. We've been doing some exercises together…not that
kind, get your mind out of the gutter. Well, okay, yes, that kind too,
but I'm talking about actual PT exercises. It helps having a partner
to work with; in more ways than one.
# # # # # # # # #
Two weeks left to go as Chief of Staff and as I get more relaxed,
Donna seems to be getting more and more on edge. We discussed,
in detail, Bantam's offer to write a book about the original Bartlet
campaign.
At first, I wasn't too excited about the offer, but as we discussed
the pros and cons, I found myself getting more and more pumped up
about it. Donna even started writing out index cards on possible
chapter titles. That's when I got hooked. We could take our time and
do this together. It would be great.
I ran it by the President, and he was enthusiastic about it. Started
reminding me of various stories and I told him he'd have to get
together with my partner to organize his thoughts. He just smiled.
When I got back to my office, Donna was there pacing back and
forth on her crutches.
"This is a nice surprise. I though you had PT this afternoon."
"I did. I had to cancel it."
"You can't get complacent about PT Donna. You can lose all the
ground you've gained faster than you can imagine."
"Yeah, I know. Can we take a walk for minute?"
"Donna, that's hard with your crutches, can't we just-?"
"Not here, can we just walk for a minute? Get out of the
building?"
"Sure, let me just tell Margaret-"
"Margaret, he's going out for ten. He has his pager." Donna
shouts as she starts out the door. Margaret just nods as if this is the
usual protocol around here.
"You're starting to scare me, baby. What's wrong?"
"Not in this building." She repeats and continues walking in
silence until we get past the iron gate of the White House. Then she
takes a seat on a bench. I stand next to her until she's ready to
talk.
"Donna?"
"I'm not sure how to say this, okay? Just give me a minute." I
blink twice and sit down next to her.
"Whatever it is, just say it. You don't have to spin it for
me."
"I think I might. I mean, we just never had this discussion and we
need to, or at least we needed to before. Now, not so much."
"Donnnaaa for the love of God…"
"I'm pregnant."
You're…you're pregnant? We're going to have a baby?"
"Yes, and well, yes. If that what you want, I mean."
"What I want? Are you kidding me? Of Course it's what I- Donna,
did you think I wouldn't want this baby?"
"I didn't know! We never discussed it and you've been making
all these plans for us being footloose and fancy free and we can't
be that with a baby along for the ride."
"Donna, I swear, this is the most amazing thing anyone's ever- I
don't even know what to say." So I pull her into a hug before
kissing her soundly on the mouth. "How far along are you?"
"Six weeks." She says with certainty and I know immediately why.
Six weeks ago, the night we met with Stanley; the night I decided to
leave the White House and put my family first. It was more prophetic
than I thought.
"Damn, Donna, we're going to be parents…Do you think I'm
ready for this?" she laughs at me.
"Joshua Lyman. You can take on Congressional Republicans, Middle
East peace, and the President of the United States, but you're
afraid of a little bitty baby?" she chides me.
"But this is our baby, Donna. This child is bound to have
extraordinary cognitive and verbal abilities. Besides, I have no idea
how to take care of a baby."
"I'll make you note cards." She promises and I kiss her
again.
"Hey, get a room." Calls a familiar voice, and I turn around to
see the cocky grin of Congressman Matt Skinner. "Damn Democrats
can't keep private things private." He adds as he slaps me on
the back.
"Donna I couldn't believe it when I heard the news. I always
thought you were smarter that to hook up with this guy on a
permanent basis." Donna laughs and leans in for a hug.
"Keep it down, will you Skinner. I don't want my kid hearing
Republican voices any more than she has to." Wait for it….
"Your kid…Holy shit, you're having a baby?" His
eyes travel down to Donna's stomach that is deceptively flat.
"When?"
"In about 7 months." Donna answers. "But keep it to
yourself, will you Matt? We haven't even told our parents yet. I
just told Josh this minute." She smiles at him and I swear he'd
vote for a Democratic bill right now if Donna asked him to.
"For you, Donna, I will do just that." See, I told you; hook,
line, and sinker. If that man weren't gay…
"Thanks, Matt. I have to get this one back to the office before
Margaret starts suffering withdrawal. See you later."
"Bye, Donna." He kisses her cheek before leaning towards me.
"Bye, Daddy." His teasing words stun me for a second then I wave
back and follow Donna to the White House. A thought hits me and I
stop dead in my tracks.
"Oh shit!" Donna turns back to me alarmed.
"What's wrong?"
"I just told a Republican Congressman we are going to have a baby
before I told my Mother. She's going to kill me in my sleep."
"There's really no reason for her to know that, provided you
keep me very, very, happy." How can she do that sexy saunter thing
on crutches? And should she really be doing anything sexy anymore;
she's going to be a mom. I ponder these deep thoughts as I flip my
cell phone open to call my Mom.
"Hey Mom, guess what?" and the woman guesses. Can you believe
that? When I confirm her guess she screams so loud I go deaf in
that ear and have to switch the phone over to my other ear.
"I take it that means you're happy about this turn of
events?" I tease.
"I don't want to talk to you anymore. Put that darling wife of
your on the phone." I hand the phone to Donna, but then we have to
stop moving since she can't handle the crutches and the phone at
the same time.
"Hi, Mom…I'm feeling fine, just a little tired…six
weeks…No, you're the first one I've told besides
Josh…(she turns a cocky grin in my direction so I can acknowledge
the barb)…my folks are next…well give me ten minutes, then you
can call and make all the plans you want together…I'm sure we
can manage a trip in your direction after we leave the White
House…Thanks, Mom…I love you too." She ends the call and
hands it back to me.
"Hurry up, Joshua, now I have to get back and call my parents before
she does.
"Hey Donna, you know how you're always asking for more
responsibilities at work?"
"I'm sort of on disability right now, Joshua. Get someone else
to type up your briefs."
"I'm serious. This is a big step up, but I have confidence in
your ability to achieve this goal."
"What goal is that exactly?"
"Keeping the Israeli delegation from walking out on the peace
conference tomorrow morning."
"Right. I can't even walk to the Israeli delegation, and you
think I can convince them to stay?"
"Absolutely. You're the one person in our delegation I think
they will listen to. I know the Prime Minister is too much of a
gentleman to shut the door in your face. Let's take a stroll past
his cabin, shall we? On the way you can tell me how you ever let
yourself get duped by Colin Ayres."
"What are you talking about?"
"Danny Boy just bagged a 1 on 1 interview in London detailing the
bombing and his first hand account of my meeting with the
Palestinians."
"Josh, please tell me you're joking."
"I wish I was Donnatella. Turns out your roving photojournalist has
quite a history."
"No…"
"He's going to have a few questions to answer with our
intelligence counterparts in the UK. In fact, he should be doing just
that as we speak." I glance at my watch and calculate the time
difference. "And supposing he can't be held on charges there, he
will be asked to leave the country as a courtesy to the White House
Chief of Staff."
"Josh, I had no idea."
"I didn't think that you did. I think it's pretty obvious he
targeted you because you were a member of the CODEL." I see the
crushed look on her face. "Donna, I'm sorry. I just didn't
want you to have any further contact with him and I thought you
deserved to know why."
"Yeah…Yeah, okay." She looks up at me. "No gomer
comments? That's quite unlike you, Joshua."
"Well, your taste has improved dramatically since then."
"You mean just in the last couple weeks?"
"I prefer to think that you were in love with me all along, and
these other guys were just a pathetic attempt to make me jealous."
"Did it work?"
"Getting jealous is a pitiable, immature reaction…I was eaten
with it." I smile at her as I knock on the door to the Prime
Minister's cabin. When he comes to the door I move aside so he can
see Donna on the path.
"Mr. Prime Minister, I hope you'll allow me to introduce you to
my wife Donna. She wanted to meet you." Zahavy does a double
take as it registers who Donna is and what her relationship to me is.
I move behind her wheelchair and push her forward a bit. Zahavy
steps out of his cabin and walks over to Donna before taking her
hand.
"I'm very glad to meet you, Mrs. Lyman. May I say how sorry I am for
the unfortunate incident that took the lives of your friends? It must
have been a horrifying experience for you."
"Not any more horrifying than the people in Gaza experience on a
daily basis, Mr. Prime Minister. I was able to speak to many of the
people there and got a very good first hand look at what you're
facing there. I asked my husband to meet you so I could thank you."
"Thank me for what?"
"For taking the risk to come here and attempting to find a solution
to the terrible problems that are facing your people."
"I most desperately wish we could have achieved that goal."
"I haven't given up hope, Mr. Prime Minister. President Bartlet
is a brilliant leader; he and my husband our going to find a way to
broker peace. I know it."
"You are obviously a very loyal and loving wife. Mr. Lyman is lucky
to have you."
"He most certainly is." She responds; I cough as a signal to lay
off a bit but she pretends ignorance. "Please reconsider your
decision to leave tomorrow. From what Josh has shared with me,
you are very close to a solution."
"Unfortunately, the final point in our negotiation seems
insurmountable."
"I know what you mean. When I think about what it's going to
take to walk again, it seems completely insurmountable to me. But
Josh was just reminding me that hard work and determination can
make anything happen. I believe him, sir."
Zahavy looks from Donna to me and back again. "Perhaps you're
right, Mrs. Lyman."
"Actually, it's Moss-Lyman." That's it, I can't stay
quiet any longer.
"It is not!" I yell.
"It most certainly is, Joshua. Don't start a domestic squabble
in front of the Prime Minister."
"What's the point of legally binding you to me for life if you
don't take my name?"
"The point is that it's what I want." She looks smugly at
me.
"That's not a point! There's no point in that statement at
all."
"Mr. Lyman, if I may interject?" Zahavy asks and I nod. "I
have been married for many years now and one thing I have learned
is that if you can accept an answer like the one your wife just gave
you, you will find the rewards greater than you can imagine."
"You've been HAPPILY married for years, sir?"
"Yes, once I learned that very important lesson."
"Then I guess I should take your advice, sir."
"And I will take yours Mrs. Moss-Lyman and stay one more day and
see what we can achieve together." He takes Donna's hand again
and tells us goodnight. I start to wheel Donna back towards our
cabin.
"Very nice job, Donnatella."
"Does that mean I finally get my raise?"
"In a manner of speaking."
"What does that mean?"
"Now that we're married you get half of everything I make and my
pay grade is way above yours." She merely smirks at me. "Donna,
there's one other thing I need to ask you…about Ayres."
"Okay."
"At the hospital, in Germany, he gave me a disc of all the photos he
took in Gaza; including some photos of the bombing. He wanted me
to give them to you, but I didn't think you'd want them."
"No, I don't think I could look at them."
"Do you want me to destroy the disc?"
"I'm not ready to do that either. Can we just put them away
somewhere for now?"
"Of course. And if you should decide you'd like Ayres roughed up
a bit, we can always send that physical therapist to take care of
him."
"I would think the secret service would be more efficient for that
sort of thing."
"Who said I was looking for efficient? Slow and inefficient would be
just fine with me."
Chapter 12
"How you feelin' boss?" I ask him.
"Like I was run over by a truck. Not really different from any other
day this week. Plus, this physical therapist they have coming in here
is a jerk."
"His name isn't David Gruder, is it?"
"No, why?" Leo asks me.
"No reason. Listen. Just do what they tell you so you can get better
and get back here. This summit is driving me nuts."
"It was an uphill battle to begin with, son."
"You think this is a waste of time don't you?" There is a
short pause and I can hear Leo release his breath.
"I think there has been conflict in that region forever and the
President needs to focus on keeping his base satisfied or it won't
matter what you do there because his political capital will be
lost."
"So, that's a yes?"
"A qualified yes. That being said, the President has filled me in on
this brainstorm the two of you came up with, and it has some
possibilities. Was it really your idea, or did Donna come up with
it."
"Let's say she was the inspiration."
"When are you going to bring your wife over here to see me?"
"She's busy cussing out the First Lady of the United States
right now, but we'll come see you soon. If we don't get anywhere
today, it'll be game over anyway."
"Hang in there, son. You're doing good work over there. I'm
proud of you."
"Because of the work I'm doing or because my decision to marry
Donna in Germany won you $100 bucks in the pool?"
"A little of both, quite honestly. And the President wasn't
supposed to tell you about that."
"Are you kidding me? He's been bragging about it to anyone
who's standing still. Just get better and get back here soon, will
you? I don't have your kind of patience."
"Josh, we talked about this already. I'm not coming back; not to
that job anyway. You might as well move your stuff into the Chief of
Staff's office. It's your time."
"Maybe, but Donna needs me right now and I promised I'd put us
first in all this. I'm worried that if I take this job permanently I
would have a hard time maintaining that balance."
"Josh. Is it hard to have a life and work in the White House? Yes,
in almost any job and it's certainly more true for the Chief of
Staff, but you and Donna work together there and if there's anyone
you could count on to make sure you have balance in your life it's
Donna. After all, she's already been doing it for years." That
makes me laugh.
"I guess. Do what the doctors tell you and get some rest. We'll
be out to see you as soon as we can." We say goodbye and hang
up the phone. Talking to Leo always makes me feel better. It's like I
still have a connection to my Dad through him.
The Israeli Prime Minister kept his word to Donna and even brought
some additional ideas to the table this morning. Now, Chairman
Farad is preparing his response. There's a lot of hurry up and wait in
diplomacy. No wonder I hate it so much.
When I get back to our cabin, with a five inch briefing book tucked
under my arm, I find Donna asleep on the bed. Unable to resist, I
slide next to her on the bed and mold my body to hers. Her PT really
wears her out; I remember the feeling. I stroke her hair and enjoy
the feeling of just `being' with her. The President is right; we need to
get away, just the two of us, as soon as we can manage it. My touch
wakes her and she turns her head to look drowsily at me.
"How's Leo?" she asks and earns a kiss.
"He's grousing almost as much as you about physical
therapy."
"Did you find a felonious therapist for him too?"
"You're a riot, Donnatella. How long before you figure you can
let that one go? Man, a husband tries to take care of his wife's
needs, and all he gets is hell for it."
"Maybe you should concentrate on other needs that your wife
has." She turns her body toward me and starts kissing her way up
mythroat. I moan in response to her intimate touch. Then it hits me;
should she be doing this?
"Donna, wait, what about your leg and your injuries?"
"Don't worry." She continues to kiss me as she unbuttons my
shirt. "I cleared it with my Doctor."
"Okay, good….Wait a minute, your doctor, as in Dr. Bartlet?"
I squeak. "You discussed our sex life with Dr. Bartlet?!"
"How do you think she gets me motivated to do leg lifts? Besides,
there's not much sex life to discuss at this point due to medical
conditions and scheduling issues. I think it's time we remedied
that, don't you?"
"You talked to Dr. Bartlet about this? God, why didn't you just
talk to the President?"
"I thought that might be awkward for you. Josh, can you just focus
your considerable energy on your wife right now? I promise I can
make you forget all about Dr. Bartlet." she promises as she strips off
my shirt and starts to work on my pants. I'm starting to see the
advantages in listening to my wife.
# # # # # # # # #
I can't believe we wasted all those years not having sex. Even with
certain medical restrictions, making love with Donna Moss-Lyman
was amazing. Yes, I know, I gave in on the hyphen, but I swear if she
had done for you what she did for me, you'd have agreed to a
hyphen or any other punctuation she asked for. The best part is that
two hours have passed and I didn't even get twitchy waiting for
Farad's response. Donna may have discovered a way to teach me
patience.
So when my pager goes off, I'm energized and ready to get to work;
that is once I've disentangled Donna's sleeping body from mine.
It takes a little effort, but I get her tucked back into the blankets
with her leg elevated on a pillow and quickly get dressed.
When I get to the main building, everyone is pouring over a
document, presumably Farad's response. Toby gives me a copy by
throwing it at me from his spot on the couch.
"What does it look like?" I ask as I start to skim the pages.
"If you'd come when we paged you, you'd know already."
He complains.
"I had a…thing…with…Donna needed help
with…stuff." This is especially awkward with the President and
First Lady sitting across from us. I can NOT look at Dr. Bartlett right
now.
"How's her leg, Joshua. Any difficulty with mobility?" she
asks trying to sound all innocent; I know better. I will not let her
draw me into her trap.
"I'm not a medical expert on leg mobility, Ma'am. You're
the physician."
"Lots of times, the key to successful physical therapy is simply
finding the right motivation for the patient." she tries to egg me
on; I'm NOT biting.
"If you say so Dr. B." I continue reading. This looks doable.
We're going to need international support, but we could actually do
this.
"What would you say your motivation was after Rosslyn, Josh?"
Now the President's head pops up from his reading and he looks
over at his wife, catching the subtle nuance in her voice.
"I'd have to say my primary motivation was getting back to work,
Ma'am."
"Well I believe that was a motivation Joshua, but I don't really
think it was your primary motivation. Do you think so Jed?" Now all
the sharks smell blood in the water. No one besides me is even
pretending to read Farad's counter proposal.
"Well, Abigail, I always thought it was due to the personal
determination of Donna Moss. She practically moved in with him,
instituted the `rules', and made sure he did everything he was
supposed to in order to recover."
"He's right." Dr. Bartlet agrees. "It's time to
return the favor, Josh. In fact, I was just talking to Donna earlier
about exercises the two of you could do together that-"
I literally spit out the coffee I am attempting to drink. "Dear God,
will you please stop?!" I turn a face, completely red, toward the
wife of my boss. "We're kind of in the middle of a policy thing
right now."
"I'm sorry if I'm distracting you Josh. Maybe I'll just
go check on Donna while you attend to business." She starts to rise
and kisses her husband's cheek.
"That would be great." I choke out as I return my attention to
the document in front of me. Then I remember Donna is naked in
our bed sleeping at the moment. "Wait, Dr. B., ummm she was, you
know, sleeping when I left. You must have really tired her out with PT
today."
"All tired out, hmmm? Then I'll just let her rest." Her
twinkling eyes meet mine.
"Yeah, rest…Mr. President, this document doesn't look much
different to me than the one we gave him a few hours ago. Am I
missing something?"
"I hate to say this out loud and risk the wrath of whatever from
high atop the thing, but this looks promising." Toby looks up at me
with what can almost be described as a smile which I return.
"What's next, Mr. President?" I ask him.
"Next, I get on the phone with our allies and see what kind of
support we can garner internationally. I need you to conference with
Congressional leaders and get them on board with us." he orders as
he gets up to go make his calls.
"Who you going to start with?" Toby asks with his eyes closed.
"If I don't start with Haffley, there'll be hell to pay
later on, but then I need to get the rest of our cabinet up to speed so
they can start spinning it the minute we're ready to announce."
I see the look on his face. "If, you know there happens to be
anything noteworthy to announce."
"The Vice-President needs an update. He can bring in his colleagues
in the House." Will adds.
"Okay, but Will?" I wait to continue until he faces me.
"Make it absolutely clear this does not leak before we're ready.
If he keeps a lid on this and helps us out I can make sure he's here
for the announcement."
"Got it." he takes off at a trot.
"The intelligence committee should be brought in too." Kate
suggests.
"How about you take point on that, since you speak their
language."
"Consider it done." The energy in the room is contagious and
even Kate Harper is reacting to it. "Nice work, boss. " she says
and I do a double take as her words register with me.
"Thanks, Commander. I need someone from each delegation in my
office in 10 minutes. Once we get final details ironed out we'll want to
set up a meeting with the President, Chairman Farad, and Prime
Minster Zahavy for later this evening." Ed and Larry take off
responding to my requests.
"Jesus, Toby. Are we really doing this?" I ask shaking my head.
"Looks that way to me…boss." He smirks as he says it and I
grin back. "You should really think about making the position
permanent. You don't completely suck at it, you know." he pours
more coffee into my cup.
"I don't completely suck at it? Toby, please stop. Your
outrageous compliments are going to go to my head."
"I'm just saying, it's a tough job and you got it under
difficult political and personal circumstances. You should be proud of
what you've done and how you've done it."
I am literally choked up now. I don't know if I can actually speak
right now, so I just nod and start to walk out.
"Of course it's probably more Donna's abilities than
yours…" he adds as I leave the room and it brings on a full out
laugh as I realize he's probably right.
Chapter 13
Never in my lifetime, did I imagine I would be standing next to my wife,
watching the President sign a Middle East Peace accord. Now if you
asked me which was more unlikely, having Donna as my wife, having
a Middle East Peace accord, or having any wife at all, I would have
been hard pressed to give you an answer, but the fact that they are
all true has me a little flummoxed.
After the signing, there is reception that we all are expected to
attend. Normally, Donna might work the event, but today she is a
guest of the President and I've been assigned to act as her driver.
She seems to enjoy the fact that she can order me around. In fact,
everyone seems to be enjoying it. That's okay, Donna is alive and
healing and we've just taken the first step toward peace in the
Middle East.
At one point during the press event, I left Donna in the very capable
hands of CJ Cregg only to find out when I returned that the two of
them had agreed to an on air interview…without even discussing it
with me!
"CJ what the hell?" I demanded.
"We've been getting dozens of requests for an interview with
Donna. Since she is not willing or able to fulfill all those requests,
we chose one interviewer we thought would play nice and respect
theboundaries we set up."
"Donna, you simply can not have thought this through."
"Actually I have Joshua, but thanks for your support and
encouragement." she replies snottily.
"Donna, they are going to ask about Gaza, they are going to ask
about the explosion; they are certainly going to ask you to comment
on the things Colin Ayres said. Did you think about that?"
"As a matter of fact I did. I welcome the opportunity to comment on
what that Irish dog said about you and about me." Donna's
getting pissed now and CJ is getting nervous at the attention we're
starting to receive.
"Do you think we could move this little domestic squabble somewhere
more private?" she asks, looking around to see who's watching
us.
"Yeah, and there'll be questions about that too. `How long
have you been sleeping with your boss, Mrs. Lyman?' That should
be fun, huh?"
"I'll be in the mural room at 4 tomorrow talking to Chris
Matthews whether you like it or not. CJ, will you take me over to see
Bonnie? I haven't had a chance to thank her yet for the flowers she
sent me in Germany."
With an apologetic glance, CJ wheels my wife to the opposite end of
the room. Married less than a month and it looks like I'm going to be
sleeping on the couch.
# # # # # # # # #
She didn't make me sleep on the couch, although I might as well
have considering the cold shoulder I got when we arrived home. I
could tell she was mad, even I am not THAT oblivious, but Donna
has no idea what she's getting herself into. This is not an area she
has any experience in and the subject of this interview is going to be
extremely emotional.
The next morning at breakfast, I try to make her see reason one last
time.
"Okay, I'm not saying you can't do it. I'm not even
saying you shouldn't do it. All I'm saying is that MAYBE you
shouldn't do it right now on Hard Ball."
"I'm not doing it right now. I'm doing it at 4 PM today in
the mural room, surrounded, I hope, by friends, colleagues, and my
husband." She pauses and I see how vulnerable she really is in just
that one glance. "Will you be there, Josh?"
"Of course I will, Donna." I take her hands so she'll look
at me. "I just worry about you. This is heavy stuff for me and I
wasn't even in that vehicle. Will you promise me one thing?"
"Maybe…"
"Work out some signal with CJ to get you out of there early if you
start to feel…I don't know…too much. Will you at least do
that for me?" she nods and I feel a little better, but not much.
# # # # # # # # #
Donna is having her mic placed for a last minute sound check and
Chris Matthews is making small talk with her until they're ready to go.
CJ is hovering within a couple feet of Donna per my instructions. I
see the nerves in Donna's eyes and I lean down to whisper in her
ear.
"You'll be fine. Chris is a decent guy and CJ and I are both
here if you need us. Remember, you don't have to answer anything
you don't want to."
"I love you, Josh Lyman. Thanks for being here. Margaret told me
you cancelled your meeting with the FED chair to be here."
"I promised you that we would come first. I love you too, Mrs.
Lyman."
"Moss-Lyman." She cracks back at me like I knew she would. I
shake hands with Chris Matthews with a warning glare in my eyes
that says `Mess with my wife, and I will SO mess with you.' Normally,
my glare might not be enough to guarantee compliance, but the 2
secret service agents flanking me make me feel confident my
message will be taken seriously.
"Good evening, and welcome to Hard Ball. I'm Chris Matthews.
Today, we are very fortunate to have the opportunity to speak with
Donna Moss-Lyman who is the sole survivor of the horrific bombing
in Gaza that took the lives of two Congressmen, their aides, and
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace. Thanks for coming on to talk to me,
Donna." She nods her head in acknowledgment but says nothing.
CJ told me she and Toby prepped her for over 2 hours today.
"Donna, first tell us how you came to be part of the CODEL, or
Congressional Delegation, to Gaza. You were the senior aid to then
Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman at that time. Was going on
CODEL's part of your job description?"
"Not normally, no. But in this instance I was asked to go to report
back on what I saw and heard first hand in Gaza. President Bartlet
and his staff were determined to do all they could to help the victims
on both sides of the conflict."
"And what can you tell us about what you learned while you were
there?" he asks her.
"The people who live and work in Gaza are in constant fear of
violence. What surprised me most, was despite that state of
hyper-vigilance, most people there were just trying to go about their
daily lives; just like you and me."
Then an astonishing thing happens. On the monitor, flashes
pictures of Donna in Gaza. Ayre's pictures. God, Donna, what have
you done?
The pictures continue to scroll and I feel sick because I know what is
coming up. When Donna asked me to hold on to Colin's disc I had
done just that; I put it in my office for safe keeping, but not before I
looked at them.
"You were there for 6 days before the bombing occurred. What were
your impressions of the people the CODEL was sent to talk to?"
"These people are desperate to find a peaceful solution to the
conflict there, but they are deeply entrenched in the offenses from
the past."
Now the monitor freezes on an image of Donna smiling at the
camera with her hand on the open door of the SUV the delegation
had been traveling in.
"What can you tell us about the bombing itself? What do you
remember?"
"Not a lot, Chris, which is probably a blessing. I remember talking
to Admiral Fitzwallace right before there was a loud noise and I could
feel us being thrown up into the air. That's the last thing I
remember before waking up in a German Hospital in Landstuhl."
I purposefully look away from Donna and the monitors as the
pictures of the bombs aftermath take over the entire screen.
"Can you tell us about the extent of your injuries?"
"Without using medical lingo, my leg was severely damaged, I had a
concussion from the force of the blast, and many cuts and bruises.
After I was in the hospital, I developed a pulmonary embolism that
required emergency surgery. It was very scary."
"How are you doing today? I understand you've had an excellent
personal physician."
"Yes, while I was at Camp David, Dr. Bartlet took very good care of
me; not that I always appreciated her dedication. Now that I'm home
I have a very good doctor as well as a physical therapist that the
First Lady found for me." At this comment, she sends a wry look my
way. I just shake my head.
"How long is your recovery expected to take?"
"No one can say for sure; months at the very least, although no one
can guarantee that I will recover completely to where I was before
Gaza. A lot depends on the determination of the patient and I can
tell you I am very determined.
"Where do you think that determination comes from?"
"My family and friends have played a major role, but my primary
motivation comes from a bet I have with my husband."
"A bet? That sounds very interesting; care to share with the
class?"
"I'm afraid that might taint the bet. Maybe after I win."
"Speaking of your husband," oh boy, here it comes. "Josh
Lyman was recently promoted to his current position as White House
Chief of Staff when his boss and some say mentor, Leo McGarry,
suffered a massive heart attack. How is he adjusting to his new
position in the heat of all that's been happening in the Middle East?"
Donna throws a look at me and smirks.
"Josh has never had a deficiency in the confidence department as
you well know, Chris, but I know he took this position under the worst
circumstances. Leo McGarry has been a boss, a mentor, and a
father to Josh for many years. Stepping into Leo's shoes was very
difficult for him. That being said, I think he's performed very well in
the role he was thrust into and I'm very proud of the work he's
done."
"That work is something that you've done together for many years
as his senior assistant. Will you continue to work as his assistant now
that he's Chief of Staff and now that you're married?"
"Josh has only agreed to serve as interim Chief of Staff so I
don't know what he'll be doing 2 months from now, let alone what
I will be doing once I've recovered enough to go back to work full
time. At present, I'm helping with research and briefing books from
my laptop at home."
"And working with your husband? Will that be a problem for you?
There's been a lot of speculation about your relationship with your
boss for a long time. What do you say to the people who say that
dating in the workplace, particularly the White House, is
inappropriate?"
"I would say that life in the White House is a pressure cooker, and
if can people can date without it affecting their jobs, good luck to
them. However, that doesn't really apply to Josh and I since we
never dated."
"You never dated, yet you felt strongly enough about your
relationship to marry him on a few hours notice in Germany?"
"We've worked together for years; 16-20 hour days discussing
every issue under the sun. We traveled all over the country for the
campaign, we watched one another make mistakes with personal
relationships, and at some level we both felt there was something
much stronger between us than friendship. We also felt we could
never do anything about it as long as we were working for the
President. We both respect and admire the President very much
and we would never do anything to bring scandal to his
administration." The sincerity and simplicity of her answer cuts off
the 12 follow up questions I'm sure Matthews has written on his
cards and he simply smiles at her.
"I'm curious about your opinion of the peace accord the
President signed yesterday."
"I don't create foreign policy, Chris. However, I am extremely
proud to have been even a very small part of this process. President
Bartlet pursued his plan for peace in the face of some very strong
opposition here at home. Now that he's been successful there's
been a large contingent attempting to jump on his band wagon."
"One voice of opposition has come from a photojournalist who
claims, among other things, to have a personal relationship with you
and personal knowledge of secret meetings your husband had with
the Palestinians in Germany. In fact, I believe the pictures of Gaza
you supplied us with are the work product of Colin Ayres. Is that
correct?"
"Which part?...Yes, I know Colin Ayres, and yes those photographs
are his. As to a personal relationship…since you yourself noted that
I was only in Gaza 6 days before the bombing, and I never met Mr.
Ayres before that, I'll leave it to you to judge how much of a personal
relationship could develop in that time."
"What about his knowledge of your husband's meetings in
Germany?"
"Mr. Ayres came to see me in Germany while I was recovering, that is
when he passed on those photographs. Josh had meetings and
conference calls the entire time he was in Germany. The White
House was dealing with a crisis and Josh is an important part of the
President's response team. However, what those meetings entailed
and who they were with, that is simply speculation on Mr. Ayres part.
Josh does not share much of that type of information with me due to
security issues; he certainly wouldn't have shared any of it with a
man he had just met."
"So Colin Ayres allegations are false?"
"Mr. Ayres told me he wanted me to see parts of Gaza that aren't
usually part of the official tour. He is very knowledgeable about the
conflict there and I appreciated the time he took to make sure I had
an accurate picture that I could take back to Josh and the President."
She paused and looked up at Chris, meeting his eyes squarely. "It
turns out that he had other motives for his helpfulness; some involve
money and some involve political ideology, but it's no accident that
he's been booked on every show from here to Anchorage planting
doubt about the feasibility of the peace plan. It's also not
coincidental that he's been questioned by the intelligence agency in
London. I now regret having anything to with him for more than 1
reason." There is dead silence for about 30 seconds as the camera
pans back and forth between Donna and Chris.
"There was a great deal of debate while you were recovering in
Germany about whether or not the President acted quickly enough
toretaliate for the bombing that took American lives. As a victim of
that
terrorist act, would you have wanted the President to act more
quickly?"
"I think that it's natural for victims and their friends/family
members to want to exact revenge for the horrible crimes committed
against them, but that's not the job of the President. The President
has to think in national and even global terms. He took the time he
needed to make a calm reasoned decision and I believe he was
absolutely right to do so."
"Does your husband agree with that call as well?"
"I wasn't conscious at the time, but I have it on good authority
from Leo McGarry that is initial reaction might have been a little more
emotional than calm and reasoned. I like to think that had more to do
with me than the issues in Gaza."
"Any chance you could get your husband to stop lurking in the
shadows back there, throwing daggers at me with his eyes, and join
us for a question or two?"
"I'm afraid not. You'd have to negotiate that with him
directly. We've agreed not to make any kind of commitments for one
another."
"Is that the key to a successful marriage in D.C.?"
"I don't know if there's one key and we've been married
a very short time, but you can ask me again in a few years."
"I'll look forward to it. Thank you Donna Moss-Lyman for talking
to us today."
"You're welcome Chris." The technical director calls
`cut' and I'm by Donna's side in a heartbeat. I kiss her
and then shake her.
"The pictures Donna? Why did you have to use the pictures and
more importantly, why didn't you tell me you planned to use the
pictures?"
"You would have said no."
"Damn right I would have said no."
"Then we would have had a huge fight which would have only upset
me before the interview where I would have used the pictures
anyway. This way, we could avoid the whole fight."
"Have you been talking to my Mother?" Chris laughs out loud. I
forgot he was standing there.
"You, sir, should know better than to try to bait me through
Donna." He holds both his hands up in surrender.
"I had to give it a try. I would love to have a sit down with the
White House Chief of Staff."
"Interim Chief of Staff and I'm not the story. I wish Donna
wasn't part of the story, but I can't seem to do anything about
that." I throw another dirty look her way. "I can't seem to
do anything at all where she is concerned."
"Well that's just not true." She teases me sending me a
flirtatious look from under her lashes as another member of the crew
takes off her mic. Chris laughs again.
"Well, Mr. Interim Chief of Staff, you may be the second most
powerful man in Government, but I have no doubt who has the most
power in this relationship. If you change your mind about that sit
down, give me a call. Donna, it was a pleasure talking to you. Take
care and get well soon. Josh, congratulations on your
marriage…she's perfect for you." He chuckles as he walks out and I
can't help the feeling that I've just been insulted.
"Come on Mrs. Moss-Lyman. It's time for you to go home and get
your PT."
"So it's payback time now, huh?"
"Absolutely." I wheel her out of the mural room to take her
home, but my heart feels heavy after looking at those pictures and
remembering I'm the one who sent her there.
Chapter 14
It's 3 AM when the nightmare hits. I wake up shaking and sweating.
Donna is stroking my arm, talking quietly to me. When I manage to
open my eyes and look at her I see tears falling from her eyes and
that brings tears to mine.
"Donna, don't cry. I'm okay." I pull her into my arms
and we hold each other.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She sobs into my chest.
"What the hell are you sorry for?"
"It was the pictures. The pictures set everything off. I should
never have done it. I'm sorry. I should have at least warned you.
I'm so sorry, Josh."
"Hey, hold on. Calm down. Yes, I wish you would have told me about
the pictures, but the nightmare…that's not your fault." I
give an ironic laugh.
"What are you laughing about?" she accuses.
"Chris may be right; you are perfect for me. Or we are perfect for
each other. I've been over here sick to my stomach thinking it was
all my fault that you were even in Gaza in the first place; exposed to
the violence, exposed to Ayres. Meanwhile you're here thinking how
my PTSD is set off because of something you did. Donna, you are
not responsible for my PTSD, and maybe, just maybe, I'm not
entirely at fault for what happened to you in Gaza." Her breathing
has slowed down and the tears have stopped.
"I'm still sorry, Joshua." She kisses me as she says it.
"Well maybe now you'll see the advisability of consulting me
before you make decisions of any kind." She knocks me onto my
back in a mock attack. "What the hell was that for?"
"I wanted to be sure you knew you weren't still dreaming.
Consult with you; right!" She kisses me again. "I never blamed
you for what happened in Gaza. Never. I'm sorry you did."
"You would never have been there if I hadn't sent you."
"And you wouldn't have been at the Newseum if the President
hadn't asked you to go. Do you blame him for what happened
afterwards?"
"No, of course not, but it's not the same thing."
"It's exactly the same thing…I promise not to blindside you
like that again."
"Okay. We're okay now?"
"We're okay…" She pulls my head down to her shoulder and
massages my temples until I fall back to sleep.
# # # # # # # # #
# # #
It's 6:30 PM and I am packing my backpack to bring some work home
with me. I know it's early, but I cleared it with the President; or
rather Donna cleared it with Debbie who cleared it with the
President. I hate it when she circumvents me like that. Anyway, she
said she's starting with a new therapist today and she wants me
there when she does. Since she didn't give me any shit about
whether or not this one is a felon, I decided to just go along.
My driver, yes this job has some nice perks, makes it home in record
time and I am through the door at 6:48 according to my crappy
watch; which means 7:00 to everyone else. Right on time! So then
why is Donna on the couch crying?
"Donna? What's wrong?"
"Well, you know when I said I wouldn't blindside you again? I
may have been overstating it a bit." She sniffles.
"How you doing, Josh?" came a familiar voice from behind me. I
slowly turn to see Dr. Stanley Keyworth standing in my living room.
"Stanley…" I shake his hand but keep my eyes on Donna.
"How's it going here?"
"Pretty good. I was glad to hear about you and Donna. She's been
catching me up." I continue to watch my wife.
"Is that so? Did you tell her I called you myself not two days
ago?" I ask still keeping eye contact with Donna and have the
satisfaction of watching them go wide with surprise.
"Now that would be a breach of patient/doctor confidentiality. I did
think it was interesting that neither of you thought you needed help
yourself, but both of you were convinced that the other one needed
help. God, did that even make sense?"
"I think we get your gist." Donna drawled and finally broke eye
contact with me.
"You have both been through a rather traumatic turn of events in the
past few weeks; some very positive, some very negative, but all of
them life changing. I thought, if you're both agreeable it might be
most beneficial for the 3 of us to talk together."
I nod as I sit down and take Donna's hand in mine. "Where do we
start, Stanley?"
"We already have Josh."
# # # # # # # # #
# # #
It's not fun, and it's not easy, but bit by bit we start to wade
through our recent experiences and my chest starts to feel a little
lighter. Having gone through this process before I know it's not a
one night gig, but I feel like we've made a start.
"You have each other, and that's no small advantage."
Stanley said as he left. "Don't forget you're partners
now…I'll talk to you soon."
"Josh, what are you thinking?" she asks me once he left.
"I'm thinking we should order some pizza, drink some wine, and
have a celebration." I take her hands and draw her up until
she's standing next to me.
"Celebrate what, exactly?"
"That we have each other. That for the first time in years we can do
this." And I kiss her until her knees buckle, which may not take
much in her current medical condition, but still. I pick her up in my
arms and sit down on the couch with her on top of me.
"I love you, Donnatella. I love you so much." My hands wander
across her back losing themselves in her soft, long hair. Her mouth
makes a path down my throat as she moans her pleasure at my
touch and I don't think I have ever been so aroused in my life. This
woman, this moment, is where my heart has needed to be for so
long. But in the past work has always come first. My priorities have
always been about politics and about the President. Not anymore.
I'm not sure when the exact moment was that they changed; maybe
when the bomb went off in Gaza, maybe when she admitted lying to
Congress to protect me, maybe when she first opened her eyes and
said my name in Germany. All I know is that now things are different
and I can't keep pretending they're not.
We make love right there on the couch, never even making the
effort to move to a bed. We don't remember to order pizza until
nearly midnight. We eat it, mostly naked, on the living room floor and
finish an entire bottle of wine despite the fact that tomorrow I have
staff at 7 AM. We talk and we tease one another well into the night
and make love again just a couple hours before my alarm goes off.
# # # # # # # # #
# # #
When I get into the office I am tired, but relaxed and more certain
about what I need to do than I ever have been before. I ask Debbie
to schedule 15 minutes with the President privately after staff. She
gives me a weird look, but does as I ask without comment.
Staff goes smoothly. For the most part we're managing the day to
day necessities of putting the peace plan into action while running
herd on a couple bills the President wants to move through
Congress quickly. CJ updates me on what's coming up in the press
room; she says with a grin that the feedback from Donna's sit down
has been very positive, but that's mostly because the press likes her
more than me.
She's probably right.
Toby and Will are at it again, but this is nothing new to anyone who
has to work with Toby…just ask Sam. I should really call Sam. I
haven't spoken to him since we got back from Germany. I couldn't
let him hear about our marriage in the news.
I have Leo join us by conference call this morning and he
admonishes me about appointing a deputy, before moving on to his
ideas about where we should focus our energies in the coming
months. Everyone seems to have
an idea to contribute and it hits me that this is what I'll miss
most. This collaboration with the best and the brightest to change
theway the world works.
I send the team on their various assignments and head into the oval.
"What can I do for you Josh?" he asks without looking up from
the papers he's signing.
"Mr. President, I would never have imagined any circumstances
under which I would be standing here saying this to you." At this, he
looks up at me and takes off his glasses.
"I'm going to need a new Chief of Staff, aren't I Josh?"
"I'm afraid so. It has been an honor to serve you sir."
"I appreciate how well you've stepped up to the plate with Leo
gone. You've been a tremendous asset as Chief of Staff, as well as
serving me as Deputy. How long will you give me?"
"I serve at the pleasure of the President, sir."
"Then how does a year and a half work for you?" he jests.
"That's a little longer than I anticipated, sir."
"You don't think Donna will go for that?"
"I haven't brought this up with Donna yet, sir. Other than
telling her I wasn't going to accept this post permanently."
"Oh, Joshua. You may have a brilliant political mind, but you're
going to need to work on the communication in marriage a little more.
Abby will be glad to give you a few pointers if you like."
"That's very generous, I'm sure, sir, but I think I'll
pass."
"I bet you will." He grins at me. "Work up a list of
possible candidates for your position for my consideration. In fact,
work up two lists for both jobs you've quit on me."
"Sir, I-" but he interrupts me before I can finish the sentence.
"Just giving you a hard time, Josh, but get those lists to me today
if possible. And if you can see your way clear to stay on for two more
months, it would help me win my money back from Leo."
"It seems that's the least I can do, Mr. President."
"Thanks, Josh."
"Thank you Mr. President."
Chapter 15
I know what you're thinking. When I tell Donna I quit my job today
without talking to her about it, I'm a dead man. Maybe with a lesser
mortal that would be true, but I, Joshua Lyman, political mastermind,
have a plan. Sort of…
"Donna?!" I shout as I walk into our place. "Donna!!"
"Don't shout." She tells me in her normal condescending tone
of voice. I follow the sound into the kitchen where she is making
dinner at 9:00 at night. What a woman! I reach over her shoulder to
kiss her cheek while dipping my finger into the alfredo sauce she's
making and she smacks my hand. She's sitting on the stool as she
stirs, which tells me her body is tired from PT, but still, she didn't
have to hit me.
"This is a nice surprise. I thought I'd have to order Chinese
tonight."
"I was in the mood to cook something and since Margaret was kind
enough to give me a heads up about when you'd be home, I knew
just when to put the pasta in."
"Sorry about that, Donna. I got hung up on a phone call with
Davidson."
"About filling your position?" WHAT? Wait, maybe she means
deputy COS.
"What?"
"He'd make a decent COS. I understand why you'd have him on
your short list, but I really think you should consider CJ for the
job."
"Excuse me?"
"She knows the job, same as Davidson, but more importantly, she
knows the President and he knows her. He doesn't adjust well to new
people."
"Maybe so, but Davidson has more pull in Congress than- Wait.
Where did you hear about this?"
"Not from my husband, but that's fitting since you didn't
tell me when you took the job either." Ouch. So much for the plan A;
now it's plan B, punt.
"Hell Donna, I only talked to the President this morning. Nothing is
official yet."
"Well that's okay then. When it's official, just have CJ
issue a press release, okay? That way I can keep up with your life on
CSPAN."
"Donna, I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd have a problem
with me leaving the White House."
"I don't have a problem with you leaving the White House,
Joshua, I have a problem with you not discussing major life changes
with me."
I turn her around on the stool so we're facing each other.
"I'm sorry, Donna, I blew it. I'm just not used to running
my decisions by anyone else."
"What are you talking about? You used to run decisions by me all
the time."
"That was at work and about work. This is different. After last
night, after Stanley left, I couldn't imagine giving up any more of
our time for this job. I've given enough, we've both given
enough. I want us to have some time alone together. Then we can
decide, together, where we want to go from here."
"So I'm supposed to quit too?" her eyebrow quirks up.
"I would never make that kind of decision without talking about it
with you first." I respond obediently. Her lips twitch.
"Good man…You really quit?"
"I gave two months notice. That way, when I win our bet, I'll be
free to go anywhere you want to take me."
"Like hell. It'll be you taking me."
"Does it really matter?"
"Not as long as we go together, I guess. Are you sure this is what
you want to do? You don't know how to work outside of politics."
"Who says I'll be outside of politics. I have standing offers to
lecture at half a dozen universities and I'm sure there's a
candidate or two who could use my wisdom in their campaign. The
problem is going to be you."
"Me?!"
"I'm going to have to convince whoever hires me that we come as
a package deal."
"That's going to be difficult, is it?"
"Maybe not, I am in awfully high demand…Do you really think CJ
for COS?"
"I really do, and so do you."
"How do you know what I'm thinking?"
"Please, Joshua, it's not that hard."
"That's kind of scary."
# # # # # # # # #
In the following two weeks, Donna started coming back to work part
time as advisor to the Chief of Staff. She's going to report, for the
time being, to a supervisor in Human Resources just to keep it all
clean and aboveboard. She still does a great deal of work from
home, but it's working for everyone, so what's the big deal right?
The big deal is that I miss her. I'm used to having her with me all day
everyday; being apart for 6-8 hours sucks.
CJ has been filling in as Deputy Chief of Staff as she prepares to
make the jump to Chief of Staff in 6 more weeks. Yes, Donna was
right about that. The President flipped over the idea. CJ seemed a
little spooked at first, but she's getting into the swing. The one who
is really suffering is Toby.
Toby has taken over press briefings and he makes my `secret plan
to fight inflation' act look professional. I mean he totally tanked!
All he had to do was announce CJ was moving to Deputy COS and I
thought they were going to light the podium on fire. I had Margaret
put in on DVD so Donna and I could watch it at our leisure.
Donna is getting her strength back day by day, but not without a lot
of hard work. We've been doing some exercises together…not that
kind, get your mind out of the gutter. Well, okay, yes, that kind too,
but I'm talking about actual PT exercises. It helps having a partner
to work with; in more ways than one.
# # # # # # # # #
Two weeks left to go as Chief of Staff and as I get more relaxed,
Donna seems to be getting more and more on edge. We discussed,
in detail, Bantam's offer to write a book about the original Bartlet
campaign.
At first, I wasn't too excited about the offer, but as we discussed
the pros and cons, I found myself getting more and more pumped up
about it. Donna even started writing out index cards on possible
chapter titles. That's when I got hooked. We could take our time and
do this together. It would be great.
I ran it by the President, and he was enthusiastic about it. Started
reminding me of various stories and I told him he'd have to get
together with my partner to organize his thoughts. He just smiled.
When I got back to my office, Donna was there pacing back and
forth on her crutches.
"This is a nice surprise. I though you had PT this afternoon."
"I did. I had to cancel it."
"You can't get complacent about PT Donna. You can lose all the
ground you've gained faster than you can imagine."
"Yeah, I know. Can we take a walk for minute?"
"Donna, that's hard with your crutches, can't we just-?"
"Not here, can we just walk for a minute? Get out of the
building?"
"Sure, let me just tell Margaret-"
"Margaret, he's going out for ten. He has his pager." Donna
shouts as she starts out the door. Margaret just nods as if this is the
usual protocol around here.
"You're starting to scare me, baby. What's wrong?"
"Not in this building." She repeats and continues walking in
silence until we get past the iron gate of the White House. Then she
takes a seat on a bench. I stand next to her until she's ready to
talk.
"Donna?"
"I'm not sure how to say this, okay? Just give me a minute." I
blink twice and sit down next to her.
"Whatever it is, just say it. You don't have to spin it for
me."
"I think I might. I mean, we just never had this discussion and we
need to, or at least we needed to before. Now, not so much."
"Donnnaaa for the love of God…"
"I'm pregnant."
You're…you're pregnant? We're going to have a baby?"
"Yes, and well, yes. If that what you want, I mean."
"What I want? Are you kidding me? Of Course it's what I- Donna,
did you think I wouldn't want this baby?"
"I didn't know! We never discussed it and you've been making
all these plans for us being footloose and fancy free and we can't
be that with a baby along for the ride."
"Donna, I swear, this is the most amazing thing anyone's ever- I
don't even know what to say." So I pull her into a hug before
kissing her soundly on the mouth. "How far along are you?"
"Six weeks." She says with certainty and I know immediately why.
Six weeks ago, the night we met with Stanley; the night I decided to
leave the White House and put my family first. It was more prophetic
than I thought.
"Damn, Donna, we're going to be parents…Do you think I'm
ready for this?" she laughs at me.
"Joshua Lyman. You can take on Congressional Republicans, Middle
East peace, and the President of the United States, but you're
afraid of a little bitty baby?" she chides me.
"But this is our baby, Donna. This child is bound to have
extraordinary cognitive and verbal abilities. Besides, I have no idea
how to take care of a baby."
"I'll make you note cards." She promises and I kiss her
again.
"Hey, get a room." Calls a familiar voice, and I turn around to
see the cocky grin of Congressman Matt Skinner. "Damn Democrats
can't keep private things private." He adds as he slaps me on
the back.
"Donna I couldn't believe it when I heard the news. I always
thought you were smarter that to hook up with this guy on a
permanent basis." Donna laughs and leans in for a hug.
"Keep it down, will you Skinner. I don't want my kid hearing
Republican voices any more than she has to." Wait for it….
"Your kid…Holy shit, you're having a baby?" His
eyes travel down to Donna's stomach that is deceptively flat.
"When?"
"In about 7 months." Donna answers. "But keep it to
yourself, will you Matt? We haven't even told our parents yet. I
just told Josh this minute." She smiles at him and I swear he'd
vote for a Democratic bill right now if Donna asked him to.
"For you, Donna, I will do just that." See, I told you; hook,
line, and sinker. If that man weren't gay…
"Thanks, Matt. I have to get this one back to the office before
Margaret starts suffering withdrawal. See you later."
"Bye, Donna." He kisses her cheek before leaning towards me.
"Bye, Daddy." His teasing words stun me for a second then I wave
back and follow Donna to the White House. A thought hits me and I
stop dead in my tracks.
"Oh shit!" Donna turns back to me alarmed.
"What's wrong?"
"I just told a Republican Congressman we are going to have a baby
before I told my Mother. She's going to kill me in my sleep."
"There's really no reason for her to know that, provided you
keep me very, very, happy." How can she do that sexy saunter thing
on crutches? And should she really be doing anything sexy anymore;
she's going to be a mom. I ponder these deep thoughts as I flip my
cell phone open to call my Mom.
"Hey Mom, guess what?" and the woman guesses. Can you believe
that? When I confirm her guess she screams so loud I go deaf in
that ear and have to switch the phone over to my other ear.
"I take it that means you're happy about this turn of
events?" I tease.
"I don't want to talk to you anymore. Put that darling wife of
your on the phone." I hand the phone to Donna, but then we have to
stop moving since she can't handle the crutches and the phone at
the same time.
"Hi, Mom…I'm feeling fine, just a little tired…six
weeks…No, you're the first one I've told besides
Josh…(she turns a cocky grin in my direction so I can acknowledge
the barb)…my folks are next…well give me ten minutes, then you
can call and make all the plans you want together…I'm sure we
can manage a trip in your direction after we leave the White
House…Thanks, Mom…I love you too." She ends the call and
hands it back to me.
"Hurry up, Joshua, now I have to get back and call my parents before
she does.
