Sam POV
Donna just took off like a bat out of hell. What is going on? Josh
got everyone back in line, things are looking up again. Besides
running off to tell CJ, Donna also had that `deer in the headlights'
look. Something's not right. I watch her walk down the hall and wish
I could follow after her to make certain she'll be alright but I have
to meet with Josh.
I've seen a lot of Donna recently. She's spent quite the bit of time
in the room I'm sharing with Josh. Don't think I haven't noticed the
spring in my best friend's step and he can't tell me it's related to
the election. Do I think they are sleeping together? No, not at all,
not yet at least. Do I think they've made some sort of connection?
Most definitely.
He's in love. There, someone said what we've all been thinking for
weeks now. The thought was given a voice. Well ok I didn't say it but
I thought it and that should be enough. He loves Donna. This could be
the scandal we don't need but Donna could be his destiny. I'm a
speechwriter; I'm supposed to be a bit romantic.
I push open the door fully and see Mandy off to the side of the room
and Josh staring at her, one hand on his waist and the other
scratching the back of his head. He hasn't seen me yet so I hear him
ask,
"Mandy, what the hell did you do that for? This is a campaign!"
She is such a bitch. I hope he's not considering, no, stop Sam. NO
Mandy thoughts. Hang on, what did she say?
"Joshua, you were in full political operative `slay the demons and
serve them to the press for lunch' mode. I couldn't help myself. You
know how incredibly sexy you are when that side of you shows."
Mandy what did you do?
"Mandy, listen to me, you can't be kissing me in this office."
"Would you prefer I kissed you somewhere else?"
"No, I'd prefer if you didn't kiss me at all, ever again anywhere."
Josh looks panicked and it all falls into place.
Donna saw Mandy kiss Josh. Josh doesn't know this yet.
Donna feels for Josh the way Josh feels for Donna.
If my assumptions are correct, there's already been a bit of kissing
going on between my roommate and his assistant. Donna walking in on
that, after the breakup she had with the parasitical, sponging, Dr.
Freeride is probably enough to crush her. I clear my throat to let
them know of my presence and Josh looks up at me, his face begging
for help. Sorry pal, I have to do this.
"Josh we have to talk about the thing. Donna overheard your
conversation with Mandy and was leaving to tell CJ just before I
walked in."
Mandy smirks, knowing her plan worked and Josh pales a frightening
shade of grey. I finish with,
"Mandy, I think Leo needed to talk to you. Josh we really need to go
over those notes, shall we?"
Josh motions for me to sit and Mandy strides out with a satisfactory
glow on her face.
<><><><><><><><><><><>
Josh POV
I watch Sam and I know he knows. At the least he knows something is
going on.
"Did Donna tell you exactly what she heard?"
"If you're asking me if she saw Mandy kiss you, I'm quite certain
from the look on her face that she saw Mandy's perfectly orchestrated
game of tonsil hockey. She looked a cross between nauseous and
confounded. I'd say her emotional display was overwhelming
devastation."
What the hell do we pay Sam for?
"Tonsil hockey? What do we pay you for Sam?"
"The words that come out of Governor Bartlet's mouth that make the
country stand up and listen. Don't tell me you haven't thought about
how Donna feels with regard to Mandy?"
He's right; a thousand times over he's right!
"Sam, she kissed me. You know that I wouldn't be kissing Mandy now or
ever again. I made that mistake. I don't intend to repeat it."
"Then you need to find a way to tell Donna that. Josh, what's going
on with Donna?"
"Nothing Sam, she's my assistant."
"Damnit Josh, sell it someplace else. I'm one of your best friends. I
made sure Donna went to Connecticut with you for your father's
funeral because I knew you needed her. I share a room with you. I see
the changes in you. Suddenly you give a damn about teaching Donna
things. You've never cared about teaching anyone, anything, at least
not with the care and precision you're teaching Donna. You let her
steal food off your plate and somehow unconsciously convinced me to
as well. You paid her out of your own pocket till we could afford to
put her on salary. This isn't normal for a boss and assistant. If
you're happy with Donna that's great, if something is going on, you
need to make sure CJ and Toby are prepared."
I watch Sam and wonder how much I can tell him. Knowing he is the
weak link I realize that while I love him like a brother, I can't
tell him much of anything.
"We've got four days until the convention, Donna and I can survive
four days. I'll just make it clear to her that Mandy did something
inappropriate and unwanted and that will be it. We just have to
survive the next four days, and then Donna and I can talk and clear
the air. We can put up with anything for four days? Right?"
"Not when it's your ex-girlfriend who is going around kissing you and
causing Donna to fight to hold back the tears. Four days for Donna is
going to feel like an eternity of listening to one of the Governor's
stories."
I can't do anything besides roll my eyes and nod in agreement. Four
days to get through and then I'm getting some answers.
<><><><><><><><><><><><>
Donna POV
I'm standing here making busy work for myself as I see Mandy
sauntering down the hall. God how I hate that woman!
<><><><><><><><><><><><>
Mandy POV
"Donna, I have to meet with Leo, but when I'm done, can you let me
know what time Josh is finished for the night. I thought he and I
might be able to catch a quiet dinner together and unwind.
Ah yes, she looks thoroughly distraught. Josh, you should know better
than to screw with me. I'll teach you a lesson and your pretty little
assistant too. I head off to meet with Leo and can feel Donna's eyes
following me.
<><><><><><><><><><><><>
Donna POV
I just want to go up to my room and curl up in bed. Or maybe just
find a hole to crawl into. CJ would definitely ask what is wrong.
Especially since she made the comment that I was looking so happy the
other day. I really like CJ, but she's the Press Secretary. She has
to maintain plausible deniability. I know nothing should be told to
her until it's ready to be released. That said she can also sense
when something is going on with people.
I can't believe Josh and Mandy were kissing. He didn't look like he
was disappointed to be kissing her. God, what did I get myself into?
How did I let this happen? What if this really is just a campaign
fling to him.
"DONNATELLA MOSS"
Oh. My. God.
Josh.
<><><><><><><><>
Josh POV
If she thinks this is going to sit for four days she's dead wrong. At
the very least I have to convince her it was all Mandy. I know what I
said before but I was wrong. We need to fix this now. I can't get a
man a nomination when I'm thinking about other things.
"DONNA!"
"Josh, lower your voice. People are trying to get a man elected and
you are interrupting the process."
Well. Donna's pissed at me. I walk over to her and angle my body so
no one will see as I gently stroke her elbow. I immediately feel her
stiffen and then shrug away. I lower my voice and ask,
"Come with me for a moment? Please?"
I watch her watch me. She hesitates and her eyes show me the pain she
felt watching Mandy kiss me. I feel like all the great things about
the past four months are slowly slipping through my fingers like
grains of sand. If I don't fix this with Donna, I promise Mandy is
going to pay dearly.
"Please Donna?"
Never have I had to ask a woman to come someplace with me twice. Then
again, I've never before the same feelings and experiences I'm having
with Donna. What we've shared but it is priceless.
She drops her eyes and tips her head so her chin is against her
chest. When she raises her beautiful face I can see the tears welled
up. Donna doesn't speak but rather motions with her hands to signal
me to move.
I gently guide her to a quiet empty office. I chose not to go to my
office because it's where anyone would look for us and for now I need
Donna, not the campaign and not the Governor, to be my focus.
<>><><><><><><>
Donna POV
He's got us in some room and I swear he needs to start talking before
I start crying.
God I'm so stupid.
<><><><><><><><>
Josh POV
"Donna, tell me what's wrong."
I speak very softly to her, knowing if I bellow or sound upset it
will only push her away from me. Maybe she didn't see Mandy kiss me.
"Nothing Josh. I'm just really busy. So unless you need me, I'll see
you a bit later on."
Nothing my ass.
"Donna we're practically joined at the hip. You work for me. What are
you working on?"
Ok so that wasn't the thing to say. She's giving me the stink eye.
<><><><><><><><><>
Donna POV
"I *work* for you?"
"Well yes Donna, you do."
"I *work* for you? We're joined at the hip because I *work* for you?"
Does he fail to see that while we are joined at the hip because I
work for him that we are also joined at the hip because we're halfway
to sleeping with one another? We're joined at the hip because there
are times our hands ache to touch one another, our bodies vibrate
with the need to be close enough to feel the other's heartbeat and
our minds conceive of ways to be close and alone without either of us
being consciously aware.
Those are the reasons why we are joined at the hip.
It's true, it's really really true. I'm just another notch on his
campaign belt. Erica, Mandy and me. I wonder who else?
"I've got some follow up to do with the volunteers and then CJ said
she wanted me to compile some things for you. I'll probably be busy
for a while so you're going to have to handle your own things until
later."
I turn to walk out and hear Josh take two steps before stopping. Come
on Josh, follow me. Tell me I'm wrong. For the love of God please
tell me I'm wrong.
He's not moving.
Damn you Joshua Lyman.
Damn you.
<><><><><><><><><><>
Josh POV
She walked away from me. She walked away from me and I feel like she
ripped my heart out and pierced it with those heels she's wearing. I
tried to go after her but I didn't know what to say. I can't tell her
how I feel; I can't even explain why Mandy did what she did.
Sam suspects, Toby doesn't want to know about anything unless it's
affecting the campaign or a speech and CJ can't know. Who am I going
to talk to about this?
I pull my cell phone from my pocket and dial the only person who
could possibly understand after I've gone through the mental list in
my mind.
As I find the number in my contacts and I hit send I realize I don't
know what to say. I hear the phone get picked up and without warning,
without so much as a hello, I blurt out,
"Mom I screwed up."
<><><><><><><><><><>
Elise Lyman POV
My son is calling? In the middle of a day? During a national
campaign? Oh good grief he screwed things up with Donna. I click the
talk button on the phone and it's not even fully connected when I
hear those four words,
"Mom I screwed up."
"Joshua what did you do to Donna?"
Silence. At least he knows I'm on to him. I listen to him breathe for
a moment and then prod a bit. Donna was an angel when my Noah
passed
away. And when she took care of Joshua, she proved to me to be the
woman that was right for my son. I never did like that Mandy girl.
Too abrasive.
"Joshua, what did you do to Donna? You have to tell me."
"I screwed up but it wasn't my fault."
"Donna must think it is if you're calling me."
"Well yes, but…"
"Tell me what happened."
<><><><><><><>
Josh POV
My mother hated Mandy. But I need her help so I'm going to have to
tell her.
"I was in the office today and Mandy came in. I was telling her about
how I moved people back into line and she, without my consent,
grabbed me and kissed me."
I hesitate for a second until I hear her clear her voice; I know she
wants the next part of the story.
"I didn't kiss Mandy back, I didn't want to. Donna saw it, doesn't
know what happened and now won't talk to me."
"Joshua how do you feel about Donna?"
Well if that's not the million dollar question.
"She's my assistant."
"JOSHUA LYMAN I didn't raise you to talk back to me or give me a
politician's response. Answer the question."
<><><><><><><><><>
Elise Lyman POV
I swear if I were closer to him I'd find him and spank him. Noah and
I did not raise Josh or Joanie to act like insolent children.
"Joshua, what you feel isn't political and since I'm your mother it's
not going any further than me. What do you feel for Donna?"
I hear my precious boy, who should be talking to his dad about this,
take a deep breath before whispering,
"I fell in love with her Mom."
The words bring tears to my eyes. Noah was right. He'd only spoken
with Donna a few times but he swore there was something between his
son and his son's assistant.
"You need to make it clear to her that it was all Mandy's ideas and
actions. And don't wait till after the convention, four hours is too
long, never mind four days. She just went through a horrible break
up. You and CJ rode in on the campaign's white horse and rescued her
from the hospital and that atrocious man she was dating. You gave her
a fresh start. If she cares about you the way you say you care about
her, you need to give her the chance to understand you weren't a
willing participant in whatever Mandy had planned. Do you understand
me Joshua?"
<><><><><><><><><>
Josh POV
How is it that my mother knows exactly what I need to say and do?
"Yes Ma'am. Thank you Mom, I'm going to go try to talk to Donna."
I listen as she instructs me one last time,
"Joshua, I know you can't make admissions right now. But please, for
your sake and hers, find a way to let her know what she means to you.
What it meant to have her here for you when your father died. How
much it meant to have her soothe you while you slept. She did for you
what a woman does for the man she's in love with. Never forget that."
"I won't forget. I love you Mom."
Mom returns the sentiments as we hang up and I know I've got my work
cut out for me. I have to go find Donna. But first I have to go buy
something.
<><><><><><><><><><>
Toby POV
"Samuel, can you focus please?"
I swear he's going to drive me to distraction. Sam is brilliant to be
sure but focus isn't his strong point right now it seems.
"Sorry Toby, I've got something on my mind."
I look at him closely and see something casting a shadow over my
younger counterpart. Clearly we won't get anything accomplished till
it's handled so I offer,
"Sam, go fix whatever you need to fix in that idealistic head of
yours. When you come back, which will be soon we will finish working
on this address. Go, be gone and come back clearheaded and ready to
write."
I watch as Sam hurries away from me and can only wonder what is
wrong.
<><><><><><><><><>
Sam POV
If I were Donna, where would I go? I need to be sure she's ok. I
guess it sounds ridiculous to an outsider but we've all sort of
looked after Donna. She's become our `little sister.' Ok not Josh's
little sister, especially not if he's kissing her but you understand.
I round the corner and realize I'm in front of a bank of rooms that
aren't being used right now. As I turn to leave I hear soft crying.
Please don't let that be Donna.
I follow the sound to the appropriate door and as I open it, it
squeaks. Donna is sitting on the floor against the wall with her
profile towards me and her head in her hands. Her hair blocks her
face but the tears are obvious.
"Donna?" I ask quietly.
She freezes for a moment and then looks up. If the way she looks
doesn't break anyone's heart then they don't have a heart. I walk
over to her and with no chairs to sit on I join her on the floor.
<><><><><><><><><><>
Donna POV
Sam has his arm wrapped around me and all I can do is cry on his
shoulder. Then I hear him speak,
"Josh is an idiot Donna. You have to know that by now."
I nod into Sam's shoulder but can't lift my head. The effort is too
much.
"Donna you need to calm down. First of all this is me you're talking
to. He's my best friend. I know his deficiencies as a person. I also
know the changes you've made to him and to all of us since you joined
the campaign. We couldn't do what we do without you. You're our
secret weapon. You're Josh's secret weapon."
"Don't you normally treat your secret weapon a little bit better?"
I hear him stop for a minute and realize he doesn't know Mandy and
Josh kissed. Nor does he know that Josh and I have done a lot of
kissing.
I wonder how much a plane ticket back to Madison would cost?
<><><><><><><><>
Sam POV
Why is she going to make this difficult for me? Why am I going to
have to hurt her to make my point?
"Donna I think we've all treated you pretty well. We haven't been
perfect but we've honestly tried. This is a stressful job. We're
trying to get the Governor elected President."
I take a moment to look at Donna and see she knows I'm going
someplace with this speech,
"We all share information with you and help you learn things every
day. We try to be patient when it comes to things you haven't done
before. For some unknown reason we even all share our food and our
drinks with you. We see how much you've grown and we understand how
important you are to Josh. In being important to Josh, whether by
going to Connecticut with him for his father's funeral, by being the
person he blows off steam with or by keeping him so organized and on
target, you have become extremely important to all of us."
I feel her nod against my shoulder as I hear the door open. I look up
and see Josh there, looking as devastated as Donna looked earlier. I
watch him watch me holding Donna as she cries and I feel his heart
break. Yeah Josh, she's a wreck and you my friend are the cause. Can
you read that in my eyes and on my face?
I nod my head to tell him to not only come in the room but come over
to us.
<>><><><><><><><><>
Josh POV
Sam is holding her and she's sobbing against him. I am such a
bastard. I'm so ready to kill Mandy right now. But I have to focus on
Donna first. I have to help her stop crying.
I make my way over to them and sit on Donna's other side. Sam rubs
his hand up and down her arm and says,
"I'm going to leave you with Josh now. I am certain he has
significant things to tell you."
Sam gently releases his hold on Donna and helps turn her towards me.
She pulls back for a moment and then I pull her to me, cradling her
against my chest.
As Sam stands up, he plants a kiss on her temple and gives me a look
that says I better fix things.
I'm right there with you buddy.
<><><><><><><><>
Donna POV
I've got to get a handle on myself now that Josh is here. I feel
something being dropped into my lap and turn my head to look at this
simple paper bag.
"Open it" I hear Josh say.
Slowly I open it and inside there are three wedges of cheese.
Cheese? OH I get it.
Wisconsin cheese.
"Um Josh? This is cheese."
<><><><><><><><>
Josh POV
"Yes Donna it is cheese, Wisconsin cheese to be exact."
She looks at me completely confused.
"I thought you might be homesick just a little bit since your crying.
So I decided to bring a little bit of Wisconsin to you."
She continues to look at me but the confusion has turned to an
unreadable expression.
"If you're not homesick it might go nicely with the bottle of wine
and the package of crackers I left in my room. We could have wine and
cheese tonight, if you wanted to come and hang out with me. I think
Sam is meeting up with family and friends since we're in California."
Yeah still can't read her expression.
"Or you could just take the cheese and the wine and go get raging
drunk over whatever has you crying so badly."
She still won't give me an inch. I guess I don't deserve one but
really this is a bit much. Let me try one other thing.
"You saw Mandy kiss me didn't you?"
<><><><><><><><><><><><>
Donna POV
How does he do that? How can he be so sweet one minute and bring up
the witch's name in the next minute.
"Josh what you do is really none of my business. I'm your assistant.
I *work* for you."
That got him.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Josh POV
"How can you say that? How can you think it? You know me better than
half the people here. You came with me to bury my father. You
comforted my mother, you crawled into my bed to sleep with me and
keep the nightmares at bay. How can you think you *just* work for me?"
My words are spoken in a whisper but I know Donna was able to hear me
because she starts to cry all over again.
"We have a job to do Donna. We have to make certain that Governor
Bartlet is nominated as the Democratic candidate for President. Then
we have to get him elected. I can't do that without my secret weapon.
Tell me what I have to do to make this right?"
I listen to her try to get herself under control and then she softly
says,
"Explain to me why Mandy was kissing you."
<><><><><><><><><>
Donna POV
"Because then once you explain that, you can explain to me why
Mandy `casually' mentioned Erica Lee and told me all about your
relationship? Would that be the word you'd use to describe it?"
I watch him as he looks at me, dumbfounded.
"I believe Mandy's words were you were like Henry Higgins and Erica
was your last Eliza. Mandy was perfectly clear how men like you need
to be admired and once the romance of the campaign wears off it
becomes awkward for you. CJ told me you're not taking Erica's calls,
why is that Josh?"
<><><><><><><><><><>
Josh POV
"We had a falling out. Yes, Mandy is correct things ended badly
between Erica and I. CJ is correct that I'm not taking her calls. But
I'm not taking her calls for different reasons than both of them
would suspect. I'm not taking her calls because John Hoynes is using
my past *personal* relationship with Erica to try to get to me
*politically*. It's *all* for political gains."
I see a flash of recognition in her eyes as she remembers what she
told Sam about why I couldn't approach Hoynes. Now that I've gotten
her attention, I'll make things more clear.
"I have no clue why Mandy would say I was like Henry Higgins and
Erica was Eliza. Erica is a smart, good-looking woman whom I enjoyed
spending time with. I won't lie to you about that. But things ended.
Donna, we've dated other people, we have pasts. Matter of fact I met
your past in a hospital Emergency Room. You met my past on the
campaign trail and now at the convention. I can't help that. Politics
is a small world."
I watch Donna's face and realize my mother is right. I can't admit
what I feel, not now, but I can let her know she isn't alone in how
she feels.
"They are my past Donna. Mandy kissed me. I had no part in it except
to be the kissee. She probably planned it and executed it with
incredible timing. I told her, in front of Sam that she couldn't ever
do that again. That I didn't want her to do it and I definitely
didn't want her to do that again."
Donna doesn't believe me completely. She wants to, but her eyes are
cautious. If I'd been through what she went through with Freeride I'd
be the same way.
"There is only one woman I want to be kissing and she's currently
soaking me with her tears."
<><><<><><><><><><><><><>
Donna POV
Mandy is a dead woman when I get my hands on her. I told Josh the
campaign was a perfect place to make a new start and I let the likes
of Mandy prey on my self- confidence issues? I pull back to look at
Josh and realize he's waiting on me to say something.
"The only man I want to be kissing is currently holding me and being
drenched by my tears."
Josh tips my head and kisses me, softly, sweetly. This isn't a stolen
kiss between meetings or a heated kiss when we're afraid Sam is going
to walk in on us. No, this is a kiss that says what we can't say.
He kisses me and says he cares, that he wants to be with me but we've
got jobs to do right now.
I return his kisses with as much emotion as I can put into them. I've
fallen in love with him and I hope he knows what my kiss is trying to
say. I can feel by the way he wraps his arms around me and holds me,
that this isn't a campaign fling. Then again, this is Josh…
<><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Josh POV
"This isn't a campaign fling Donna. I know that has to be running
through your beautiful mind right now. Whether you thought of it or
the thought was planted for you, this isn't a fling."
I feel Donna's surprise at my confrontation of the issue I'm certain
is causing her great grief.
"This is a campaign; this is probably the most important thing I will
do with my career. Personally, if it were a fling or something short
term, I wouldn't care as much if you were upset. I wouldn't make sure
you are taken care of. I wouldn't make sure I came to find you. When
I stopped seeing Erica, I didn't give it much thought. When I stopped
seeing Mandy, I was relieved. When I didn't know how to make things
right with you, I was distressed, distracted and half out of my mind.
Not a good way to be when we're trying to get a man elected
President."
"Oh and one other way you'd know this isn't a campaign fling, I
haven't made love to you yet. If I'm willing to wait, for the time
and place and more importantly for the right moment, with my level of
impatience when I want something as much and as badly as I want you,
this could never be a campaign fling."
<><><><><><><><><><>
Donna POV
I'm crying happy tears right now. Who knew Josh could be so eloquent?
He's right. When he wants something nothing stops him. He goes in,
grabs what he wants and leaves. He's like a kid on Christmas morning,
there is no amount of patience in the world that can rein him in when
it's something he believes in or wants.
And he wants me.
<><><><><><><><><><>
Josh POV
She's crying again but she's smiling so I guess I was able to convey
what I'm feeling. I've definitely fallen in love with her. Actually,
I
probably fell in love with her that first day. From the moment I
found her in my office, something came alive inside me. I've never
felt like this before. I move to stand and pull her up with me.
"Come on, I need you by my side for the rest of the day. I need you
close."
She smiles at me and nods.
"You got it… *boss*."
In that moment I realize once again this `relationship' with Donna is
a tenuous situation at best. Donna inspires me, she's my secret
weapon and I've got her back with me after a rough few hours. I've
learned I don't want to feel the way I did during those hours ever
again.
As we move to walk out of the room, just before we reach the doors I
pull Donna to me and kiss her with everything I have in me. When we
break apart, breathless, she cups my cheek and I know she's going to
say something amazing.
<><><><><><><><><><>
Donna POV
I'm trying to catch my breath after one of the most amazing kisses
Josh has ever given me and I realize he can't say what he's thinking
or feeling and neither can I. I decide to tell him I understand.
Gently I hold his face in my hand and whisper,
"Me too Joshua. Me too."
He smiles from his soul in knowing what I say without using the magic
words just yet. Taking my hand, he proclaims,
"Let's go get the real thing elected President."