Sam's POV
"C.J., can I ask you something?" I ask.
"I'm trying to do 10 things at once, right now, Sam. Is it
important?"
"No…I guess not. It's just that...you have got a lot on your
plate." I try to casually bring the conversation around to my point.
I'm a talented speech writer, I can manipulate my audience.
"We're just getting off the ground in a nationwide, underfunded
bid for the office of the Presidency with a little known candidate. You
really think that I, as Spokesperson for said candidate might have a lot
on my plate?" See, she was mocking me there. I know because I cued
into her tone of voice coupled with the fact that she didn't even
look up from where she was editing a press release. I ignore it. I can
do that.
"Of course you do." I placate her. "This is my point. Maybe
you should pass some of this on to your assistant." I suggest and
watch her carefully for her reaction. It is instantaneous and full of
mirth. These are the kinds of subtle clues I use to determine the fact
that she is responding truthfully.
"Assistant! Are you smoking some kind of illegal substance, Sam?
Nobody around here has an assistant except for Leo and he's paying
her out of his own pocket."
"I don't think that's true anymore." I lay the bait.
"I guess the most important senior staff are getting assistants
first. I just thought you'd be one of them." Wait for it…
"What the hell are you talking about, Sam?" Now I have her full
attention. She's looked up from her press release edits and even put
the cap on her pen.
"Josh has an assistant." She laughs again. I'm getting
really fed up with the laughing. "He does. I just met her."
"Josh can't even keep a volunteer for a full day. Leo would
never waste staff on him, the turn over alone would give him
migraines."
"Come with me." I took her by the arm and led her back to
Josh's cubicle where I'd met Donna Moss a couple hours before. I
didn't see her at first as she was partly hidden by the desk. She
was busy separating huge piles of material that had been left on
Josh's desk, chairs, and floor. I noticed she had a pile of
notecards that she was scribbling all kinds notes on. I hated to
interrupt such a dedicated woman doing an important task, but I was
going to prove to CJ that I was right this time.
"Hi Donna." I called out and her head shot up and I could almost
see the wheels turning in her head.
"Sam Seaborn…speech writer and manager of a hundred other
things, right?" She smiled and she had a really engaging smile.
"Right." I confirmed. "This is C.J. Cregg, the campaign
Spokesperson. I thought you should be introduced since you're
Josh's assistant and Josh has a lot of interaction with C.J….you
know, as Spokesperson…"
Donna stood up and reached out a hand to C.J. "It's nice to meet
you. You do an amazing job."
"Thanks." C.J. responded absently, still stuck on the fact that
Josh had an assistant. "I didn't even know Josh had an
assistant."
"Neither did he." Donna muttered under her breath. "It's
kind of a new development." She told us in a voice that was a little
louder and stronger.
"I guess." C.J. mused. "Well, it's nice to meet you
Donna. I have to go see Leo about…a thing." C.J. tells us and it
hits me immediately that she is going to go to Leo to demand an
assistant too. Shit, I was so busy proving to her that I was right about
Josh having an assistant that I blew the next move? See how badly I need
and assistant? My brain is fried from exhaustion and overwork. I start
to follow C.J. to see what the odds are of either of us getting an
assistant, but Donna stops me my taking my arm.
"Sam? Can I ask you something?" She said hesitantly. "I
know, because I'm the kind of woman who does her homework, that Josh
Lyman is the Senior Political Director for the Bartlet for America
campaign."
"Yeah?" I agreed absently. This very moment, C.J. might be
swaying Leo to hire an assistant for her.
"What…exactly does someone in that position do?" She asked.
"Let me answer that, by asking you this: Have you ever worked on a
campaign before, Donna?"
"Of course! I have had a lot of campaign experience. Why else would
Josh hire me to be his assistant?" I refrain from stating the
obvious reason any straight man with a pulse would hire a woman who
looked like Donna and simply get to the point.
"Which campaigns have you worked on?"
"Oh, they weren't national or anything." She explained.
"I'm from Madison, Wisconsin. What are the odds that someone
like you would have even heard of someone running for office in
Wisconsin?" Now I'm sure she's lying, but she's lying
with such bravado that I find I don't have the killer instinct to
call her on it…plus she's totally hot. Why piss off the best
looking staff member traveling with the campaign?
"Right. Then you should just do the same kind of thing you've
done on your previous campaigns." I tell her blithely and start to
walk away, but then she starts walking with me.
"Right. Except when I said I had a lot of campaign experience? I may
have been overstating things a bit." She admitted and she looked so
adorable doing it.
"You haven't worked on any campaigns, have you, Donna?" I
asked her quietly.
"Yes, I have." She got all indignant. "I helped put up lawn
signs in the Mayoral race in Madison 2 years ago…and I designed the
campaign posters when my best friend ran for student council." She
floundered a bit at the end there, but she was still adorable.
"Well, working as Josh's assistant is roughly the same
thing." I joked, but she started to look worried.
"Oh, my God. I am so way over my head, aren't I?" Donna
covered her eyes with her hands. "I should never have left Madison
to come here. It's only that I just got out of this horrible
relationship and I needed to start over somewhere where I could build up
my confidence again. My ex-boyfriend had me supporting him through
med
school, and then I found out he was cheating on me and I-"
"Donna?" I interrupted her before she could get back to the time
in elementary school when some kid stole her Hostess cupcakes. Man,
could this woman talk. "Why did you drive all the way here from
Madison, Wisconsin?"
"What do you mean?"
"You could drive just about anywhere in the United States and start
over. Why did you choose to come to Manchester and work for Governor
Bartlet?" I asked, intrigued enough to want to hear her answer in
spite of my desire to get to Leo and get an assistant for myself.
"I saw Governor Bartlet in a debate and he just…stirred
something inside of me. I decided if I was going to start over, I wanted
to start over with something that mattered; that would make a
difference. Getting Jed Bartlet elected President…that would really
make a difference." She was surprisingly brief, and I found myself
surprisingly moved.
"Listen, Josh is incredibly good at what he does, but he's also
incredibly arrogant, disorganized, and socially inept. Ignore him when
he's being obnoxious, and pick his brain about politics every chance
you get. You'll never find a better teacher."
"Thanks Sam." She rewards me with a smile and I begin to
understand that Josh may have had another reason for hiring Donna
Moss.
*****************************************
"There isn't any money for assistants yet, C.J. What the hell
are you talking about?" Leo asked. He was beginning to get that look
on his face that says `I've about had it with all of you'
and usually I choose that moment to get away from him, but my good
friend Josh is squirming so I decided I'll stay to watch the show.
Quietly.
"I'm just asking why Josh is the only one of us to get an
assistant." C.J. wasn't paying attention to Leo's face or
she would have backed off by now.
"Josh doesn't have an assistant. Josh, tell her you don't
have an assistant so I can get on to, you know, the actual work of
getting a man elected President." Leo insisted.
"Well…I…" When Josh started stammering, Leo looked up from
the papers he had been shuffling.
"You did NOT hire an assistant." Leo glared at Josh and I
thought I should move a little farther away in case some of the death
glare hit me by accident simply because I was standing so close to Josh.
"Not exactly…" Josh hedged. "I found a volunteer." I
give Josh a disbelieving look because Donna herself told me she was
coming with us to South Carolina. Only staff was going to South
Carolina.
"See?" Leo asked C.J. "I told you there was an explanation.
He's got a volunteer. Now get back to work!" C.J. sent another
exasperated look at Leo and turned on her heel to go back to her desk.
"Leo…about the assistant thing?" Josh said hesitantly.
"I did kind of hire her…or rather she hired herself…but it
isn't coming out of the campaign budget." He hastened to add.
Curiouser and curiouser…"I'm paying her out of my pocket until
the campaign can afford to put her on staff. I need some help. My desk
is a mess and I can't find any of the things I need to be effective
in my job." Josh's voice kind of goes up high and squeaky at the
end there.
"Out of your own pocket?" Leo confirms and Josh nods. "Are
you feeling feverish or something?"
"I need the help…and she really needs the job." Josh said
simply.
"I don't want to hear anymore about this, do I?" Leo asked.
"Not really, no. All you need to hear is that I won't miss any
more meetings and someone will be keeping all my stuff organized."
"Sounds good to me. Get to work." Leo barked. Josh and I walked
out of his office together.
"So you hired an assistant out of your own pocket?" I decided to
go fishing.
"I desperately need some help. Have you seen my office? It looked
like a tornado's been through it." Josh said all defensively. I
really shouldn't push, but…
"I think it's great. You need the help of an experienced
political assistant and you were able to find one in our group of
volunteers. Having an assistant who knows the campaign ropes and is
able
to anticipate your professional needs; she'll be worth her weight in
gold." I expound and watch him squirm some more.
"Right. An assistant with campaign experience is exactly what I
need. I was lucky to find her." He can't even make eye contact
with me. How can such a great politician be such a horrible liar?
"Josh?" We stop in our tracks for a second. "I talked to
Donna, and did a little checking on her extensive campaign experience.
You'll be happy to know that any help you need pounding in lawn
signs or making signs for student council President; Donna will be able
to provide." You are SO busted my friend. Josh gives me a look.
"It's not what you think."
"What do I think?" I egg him on.
"That I hired a tall, blond, beautiful woman who has little or no
experience in campaigns to be my assistant."
"I don't know Josh. Suppose we get to South Carolina and there
are absolutely no yard signs up yet. Donna could prove to be
invaluable."
"Yeah." He grins. "The thing is…I'm pretty sure she
will be."
*************************************************
I get on the bus at 6AM the next morning and find a grinning, perky
Donna Moss inside.
"Hey, Sam." She greets me. I think she may have a little crush
on me. I move to sit next to her but she blocks me apologetically.
"Sorry, Josh needs to sit there. I have to go over my note cards on
these reports he had me read and he can't read the cards himself
because he gets car sick when he reads while on moving vehicles."
Did I mention this woman talks a blue streak? "Josh!" she calls
out to him when she spots him climbing onto the bus. "I've got
the reports all summarized on the note cards and I can read them to you
on our way to South Carolina." Yeah, maybe not so much the crush on
me as, you know, Josh.
"Unless I can digest the information while I'm unconscious,
there will be no briefing on the bus." Josh answered crabbily.
"What's wrong? Are you sick?" Donna asked full of concern.
"He's just grouchy in the morning." I assure her.
"I'm NOT grouchy and it ISN'T morning. You know how I can
tell it isn't morning? Because the freakin' sun isn't even
up yet." C.J. who had been walking behind him onto the bus hit him
upside the head with a file she was carrying.
"Stop being so rude; or if you're incapable of that, simply shut
up." She passed him in the aisle and sat directly behind Donna.
"If he gives you any more lip, you just let me know. I'll take
care of it."
"Thanks!" Donna positively beams at C.J. "That is so
nice."
"There aren't a lot of women on this trip, Donna. We need to
stick together."
"Right." Donna affirms and Josh rolls his eyes. "It's a
Sisterhood thing."
"Exactly." C.J. returns the smile. "Idiot boy here
doesn't understand ANYTHING about the female of the species."
"I understand politics." Josh countered. "Since I'm up
anyway, and my head is throbbing," he throws a dirty look at C.J.
and her file folder. "Go ahead and brief me on the reports with
your…God, woman, how many note cards do you have there?"
Donna looks down a little nervously at them. "87."
"It took you 87 note cards to summarize three reports?!" Josh
asked incredulously.
"No, these are just the note cards for the first report. See, each
report has it's own folder and I keep the summary note cards for
each report in their individual folder."
"Eighty-seven?!" Josh asks again. Maybe he believes his
inability to think clearly before 9 AM has affected his hearing too.
"See, the policy bullet points are on the blue cards, and the
political polling data for the policy are on the red cards. The yellow
cards indicate that there has been a substantial shift in local public
opinion on the issue…"
"Holy.Mother.Of.God." Josh sighed as he let his head fall back
against the bus seat.
I give Donna a big grin to let her know she's doing fine and that
this is one of those times when she should ignore him. She tentatively
grins back.
Yeah, it's going to be a long trip to South Carolina, but I have the
distinct impression it's going to be a VERY entertaining trip.