Donna's POV
"Josh? Josh? JOSH?!"
Josh jerked sharply at the sound of my voice and I'm sure that I halfway
winced. This was a side to my normally animated nearly new boss that I
hadn't seen yet. Ever since we crossed into Connecticut he's grown
increasingly quiet. In the years to come I would recognize that this was
Joshua Lyman in full brood. In the here and now, he was just Josh,
staring moodily out the window, watching the miles stream by, but not
seeing them.
Josh snapped his head around at me and he didn't look happy. "What?!"
"We're in New Jersey," I said.
"And this matters to me why, Donna?"
"According to the itinerary we'll be stopping for the night soon and
your day planner says that you have some quality time planned with the
state party chairman and some of his cronies after supper."
Josh blinked at me as the unhappiness on his face gave way to curiosity.
"I do?"
I sighed. I'd been right from day one. This man may be a political
wunderkind, but he needs a keeper. "Yes. Mr. McGarry said something
about softening up the ground."
The look in his eyes said that I still didn't have his full attention.
"Leo said....?" he began.
I hauled out his schedule and planted it in his lap.
"It's right there in black and white. "New Jersey -- Chairman Tomlason
-- DNC on Monday the 9th.."
His face went slack. "What did you say?"
"I said that Leo said..."
"Not that. The date. What was today's date?"
"The 9th of February."
Okay, now I've moved beyond irritated and into outright worried, because
he looks like he's seen a ghost.
"I forgot," he muttered. "I can't believe that I forgot. I can't believe
that I forgot that I forgot."
He's lost me. "What are you talking about, Josh?"
He sat up abruptly and bellowed. "LEO?!"
Leo waded down the aisle from the rear of the bus looking pissed.
"Josh, I know that you know how to talk in a normal tone of voice. I've
heard you. And I also know that you understand the chain of command,
which means that I bellow for you, not the other way round. But aside
from that, what the hell do you want?" he snapped.
Josh was looking grief-stricken now which worried me more.
"Do you know if there's a synagogue where we're stopping tonight?" he
asked.
"How the hell do I know? And what do you need one for?"
"Today's the day Leo, and I forgot. I can't believe that I forgot. I
light a candle for her every damn year, and this year I forgot!"
Leo seemed to wither a bit, and then his face softened. "We'll be in New
Brunswick in about forty five minutes. I'll ask Margaret to find out."
He rested his hand on Josh's shoulder. "I'm sorry." Then he walked away,
back towards the Governor's part of the bus.
I'd been silent through their entire conversation, but now I spoke up.
"Who is she Josh?"
He stared at me for a long moment and I could feel my heart breaking a
little for the sadness in his eyes.
"My sister. She was my sister, Joanie."
"Your sister is...she...?"
"She died thirty years ago when we were kids. We lived in Bridgeport,
Connecticut. My folks still do. She was babysitting me while my folks
were out. We were making popcorn when there was a short in the popcorn
machine. There was a fire. She made me leave to get help at the
neighbor's and she stayed to try and put it out. She didn't get out. And
I forgot her."
After he finished speaking he seemed like he was about to cave in on
himself and my heart had finished breaking so I did the only thing that
I could do. I moved closer and settled an arm on his shoulders, tugging
gently to get him to lean against me. Trying to lend him some of my
strength.
"You didn't forget you know. Not in your heart you didn't. You've been
different since we crossed into Connecticut. Yes, the campaign may have
driven it from your mind, but it didn't drive it from your heart. Your
heart remembered. I'm sure that she understands."
He was stiff for a moment, and then he sighed and seemed to sag into my
side. I can't describe the feeling that in gave me, other than the fact
that it felt right. Then he gave me a forlorn smile.
"If Leo finds me a temple, would you come with me?"
I blinked.
"With you? I mean..isn't it a private moment? Don't you want...?"
He shook his head at me. "This is the closest I can come to introducing
you to her. And I want her to meet the woman who helped me get there to
light her candle."
That feeling of rightness was growing. His eyes were nakedly honest and
somehow tender in a way that I'd never seen before, not even from my
unlamented former boyfriend, so I found myself nodding yes.
So I found myself sitting beside Josh, inside Congregation Poile Zedek ,
watching him watch Joanie's candle. He muttered something softly in
Hebrew, after which he stood and led me outside, removing his yarmulke.
Then he turned to me and really smiled for the first time all day. The
change was amazing, and I hadn't realized how much I'd missed that smile.
"She liked you."
I smiled. "Oh really?"
"Yes, really."
"How can you tell? Did you call dial-a-psychic before we left the hotel?"
"I like you, so she would like you. I know."
My heart skipped a beat in a way that I recognized. And that feeling of
rightness finally blossomed completely into what it was to become. The
resulting realization caused me to panic, so I misdirected frantically.
"What was it that you said there at the end? A prayer?"
"The Hebrew?"
"Yes."
"I was telling her goodbye for another year, and saying thank you."
"Thank you?"
"I've always sort of imagined her as my own guardian angel, and I was
thanking her for bringing you into my life."
With that he kissed my cheek and waved me ahead of him, and as we
walked, I felt his hand settle on the small of my back, guiding my
steps. The feeling of rightness surged back, stronger than ever, warming
me even as it terrified me.
I'm in trouble.
I'm in love with Joshua Lyman.