Donna POV
I can't believe the conversation I just had. The conversation that is
replaying itself in my head like a broken record,
"I need you to tell him. I can't. Please Donna, I had to tell him his
sister died, I can't tell him his father, his idol, died tonight when I
can't even fathom how I'm going to live my life without my husband. In
the short time he heard Joshua speak about you, Noah knew Josh
feels a
special connection to you. He missed you terribly while you were gone.
I heard the despair in his voice while you were gone. I know you'll
take care of my son for me."
How can I deny Elise Lyman her request? She buried her daughter and
now
has to bury her husband. So I assure her I'll tell Josh and I'll make
sure he's not only taken care of but also put on a plane as fast as we
can arrange it. I'm sure Leo will pull strings for Josh if he has to.
That means I have to tell Leo which honestly scares me a bit. He makes
me so nervous. Ok Donna stop babbling.
I have to go tell Josh.
Give me strength…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Josh POV
Donna looks like someone burst her bubble. We just won the Illinois
Primary so why is she looking like this? As she gets closer to me I can
see tears in her eyes. Women cry from happiness, right? I grip onto her
arms and tell her,
"And Donna, you've got to get happy, Donna, you just won the Illinois
Primary, come dance with me!"
I hear the words but I don't understand them,
"No Josh, No Josh, Your father died."
I think I'm glad I was holding on to her because if I hadn't been
anchored to something or someone, I might have hit the floor. Instantly
Donna catches the change in my breathing and she pulls me into the
hallway. I lean against the wall, bending over slightly with my head
down and pressing my palms into my thighs. Donna is rubbing my back
and
instructing me to take deep breaths.
From my side, I hear the euphoric noises from the suite as the door
opens and closes. A pair of men's shoes comes into my line of sight as
I hear Sam's voice.
"Josh?"
I shake my head. If I don't say the words this isn't true. Sam knew my
parents. My mother, she must be inconsolable. Oh my God, Leo. Leo
and
my father were friends, how am I going to tell Leo.
I hear Donna tell Sam and am thankful that I don't have to because
telling Leo is going to be hard enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam POV
Donna just took Josh upstairs to help him pack and arrange for a
flight. I get the feeling Donna wants to go with him but is holding
back. I'll talk to her after I talk to the group. Josh couldn't tell
them, I didn't ask him if he could or not, I could see it on his face.
So I said I'd do it.
"Everyone, a moment please?"
It's nice to know my lawyer's voice still works,
"While we are all celebrating a well deserved victory tonight, I've
just found out one of our own has suffered a terrible loss."
Leo knows. His face just turned pale as he did a headcount and didn't
see Josh or Donna. Shit why didn't I think to tell him first?
Oh yeah, I was in shock myself.
"Josh's father passed away this evening and he is getting ready to head
back to Connecticut for the funeral. I don't know the timeframe for his
plans on returning to the campaign but I'm sure he's going to want to
all of us to make certain Governor Bartlet delivers his victory speech
tonight and then get ourselves out to California. I know your thoughts
and prayers are with Josh and his family."
I begin to leave assembled group of stunned campaign staffers and feel
a hand on my shoulder. I turn to see Leo and I know he's fighting tears
the same way I am. We both knew Josh's parents, though Leo knew
them
for much longer.
"How is he Sam? What does he need?"
Josh told me that Leo came to him and asked him to come to New
Hampshire because it was what sons do for old friends of their
father's. Leo is returning the favor this time.
"Donna is helping him pack and arranging a flight. I'll make sure a car
is downstairs to get him to the airport."
Leo nods at me, knowing everything we can do is being done. Without
hesitation I add,
"I think Donna should go with him and I'm on my way there to tell her
that."
I wait for the explosion. Everyone has seen the `tension' between the
Senior Political Director and his assistant. I know its Josh's crafty
mind that has gotten them adjoining rooms at each campaign stop
under the guise of working late. I know it was Josh who is trying to find a
way to spend as much time with Donna as possible.
Unfortunately it's not just me that knows these things. Everyone knows
about them and also knows it would be a huge scandal. Right now, I
really *don't* give a damn. My friend's father just died. If he needs
Donna to be his rock, I'll make sure she's there. If she's not sure if
she should be there and is too afraid to ask, then I'll answer her
silent questions and let her know he needs her.
Leo looks at me thoughtfully and says,
"Book a flight for her or tell her to book one for herself. Have her
get my credit card info from Margaret and make sure he's taken care of.
The girl really has nothing, Josh is paying her out of his pocket and
she's not on staff yet. I told Noah I'd look out for Josh when he first
came to Washington. I won't break that promise. We'll deal with any
fall out from this in California."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Donna POV
Sam told me that I'm going with Josh to Connecticut and I should book
my ticket with Leo's credit card. Margaret took care of it for me so I
had a minute to pack. Sam came to my room and took my stuff to the
waiting car. I didn't ask Sam or Leo if I could go, but I think the
relief came through in my eyes when Sam told me it would be set up for
me to travel with Josh. I'm not sure what's going on with Josh and me
but I can't leave him like this. I need to be there for him. Even his
mother said so.
I'm walking down the hall with Josh and getting ready to put him in the
car to get to the airport. My luggage is in the trunk already and
Josh's will be taken from him by the driver.
I'm riding with him to the airport but he hasn't been told yet that I'm
going. Sam said he doesn't like to be handled and he might think I was
mothering him so it was decided I'll `surprise' him at the gate.
I hate leaving his side even for a few minutes but maybe he needs
some time to collect his thoughts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Josh POV
Donna is looking at me with her sad eyes. I hate that she's sad and
it's because of me. It's not because of me but, well, you know.
I don't want to leave her, not that this is a new thought. Right now
though, I want to stay with her and be taken care of. Consciously I
know I can't. I'm the proverbial man of my family now. It's my
responsibility to be the son my mother needs to lean on and the man
my father raised me to be. I also need to be the guy who helps get
the `real thing' elected President. That's a lot even for my ego.
Finally we're at the airport. I step from the car and I pull my
backpack onto my shoulder. Donna comes around, having exited the
car as well. She rubs my forearm and smiles at me. I can't muster it to
smile back.
"I should go. Take care of things while I'm gone and I'll see you in
California."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Donna POV
"Everything will be fine Josh. Just take care of yourself and your mom.
Give her all our love."
Is it out of line for me to hug my boss? Seriously, he just lost his
father. What the hell, I reach out my arms and fold Josh into me. Not
so surprisingly he wraps his arms around me, tucks his face into the
side of my neck and holds on tight.
Yeah, one day we're going to have to talk about this. Not today, but
one day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Josh POV
God she feels good in my arms. It's not the victory hug I had been
imagining but her comforting me, it's just what I need. Donna runs her
hand up through my hair and I feel myself melt into her.
"I have to go." I say reluctantly as I pull back, releasing Donna as I
do. She cups my face with her hand and I feel her strength and her
compassion. I take from it what I can before I turn to go. I can't let
her see me cry, I can't break like that in front of her.
One day Donnatella. One day we're going to talk and fix this. Not
today, but one day.
For now, I have to go bury my father.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Donna POV
He's walking away from me and as soon as he's out of sight, I ask the
driver for my bag. I enter the terminal, check in and begin to pull my
suitcase behind me. I approach the gate without being noticed as Josh
has his back to me while he watches the TV coverage of the primary.
Suddenly I am very aware of many men in black suits and I grow a bit
alarmed until I look over and see the Governor and Leo walking in with
what looks like half of the secret service. I don't know if I'll ever
get used to that kind of protection. If Josh has his way though, the
Governor will be elected and Secret Service will be part of our daily
lives.
I watch as Josh suddenly realizes the agents are securing the area.
Seeing the Governor approach Josh, I get a bit of a giggle as I watch
Josh jump up. The Governor calmly sits and motions for Josh to sit with
him. They are talking and while I can't hear what is being said, I can
see why Josh wants this man to be President. He is caring and
compassionate and found a way to make Josh laugh. In the time he's
sitting with Josh I can see some of the tension ease and it feels like
they are reminiscing even though the Governor didn't know Noah
Lyman personally.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Josh POV
The Governor is sitting in the airport talking to me about my father. A
man he never knew and yet it feels like he knew him forever. This man
sitting with me *needs* to be President.
"Delta Airlines flight 175 to Kennedy International now boarding."
The loud speaker tells me it's time to go home. I stand and the
Governor does as well. I find it laughable that he's not worried about
the victory speech or getting to California. Then he really shocks me…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Governor Bartlet POV
"You want me to go with you?"
I ask him and I mean it. He looks a bit stunned at my suggestion. I pat
my pockets down I could go if I could just find my wallet…
"I could get a ticket and come with you…"
We go back and forth for a moment about my having to go give a
victory speech and I acquiesce telling him they are calling his flight. He
walks away from me but turns back briefly. With as much parental
feeling and strength as I can infuse in a single look, I nod at him.
God Speed Joshua. God Speed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Donna POV
I watch as Josh walks towards me and away from the Governor. Josh
turns back for a second and the Governor nods at him to continue.
When he's back on his way to me, I casually step into his line of sight
so he knows I'm there. He stops and his jaw drops. Over his shoulder I
see the Governor and Leo watching the scene and they both laugh as
they realize Josh has seen me. They each smile at me. Leo tips his
heads to signal us to get moving, the Governor just nods again.
"Our flight is boarding Josh. Let's go."
When he doesn't continue to come to me, I do the whole `mountain and
Mohammed' thing. Taking him by the elbow, we continue to the gate
where I hand the attendant our boarding passes. Once she's done
what she needs to with the paperwork, she tells us to have a good
flight and allows us to walk the jetway. We cross over the threshold
between the jetway and the plane, find our seats and settle in for the
trip. He looks worn out and I hope he'll sleep on the flight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Josh POV
She calmly stepped out from behind a pole. How is that possible? I know
she doesn't have much if any money. I know what I pay her since we
haven't put her on staff yet. That was all going to change tonight when
we won Illinois. I guess it still will change but it was going to be
part of our celebration. Where was I? Oh yeah…
Someone paid for her to come home with me. Seriously, it has Sam
written all over it. But how did he get Leo and everyone to go along
with the idea? This could be a massive scandal.
I'm sitting next to her, suddenly so exhausted. My eyes are burning
from unshed tears. The plane taxis to the runway and as we take off, I
feel her reach for my hand. Thinking she's afraid of airplanes, I hold
her hand tightly, rubbing my thumb in soothing circles. When we are
airborne and the seatbelt sign shuts off, the need to sleep is
overwhelming.
Without fully realizing it I let my head drop to Donna's shoulder. I
can feel her rest her cheek on my head and smile. I know when we land
my mother will be there and will need my complete attention. I had to
live without my sister for all these years and it was hell. Now not to
have my father, just when I need him the most is unimaginable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Donna POV
His head rests against my shoulder and I take a moment to drop mine to
his, gently resting the side of my face against the crown of his head.
I smile as I hear him sigh and give in to the exhaustion.
I don't exactly know how to help him, but I'm hoping it helps to just
have someone here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Josh POV
There is a strong, beautiful woman sitting next to me and holding my
hand. Just to have her here means so much. More than it should
probably mean since I'm her boss and she's my assistant. For now I
can't deal with all of the politics.
I don't know how to bury my father. I don't know how to be the son my
mother is going to desperately need. I don't know how to be the adult
when inside I'm still the scared little boy whose big sister yelled at
him to run out of the house while she died in a fire from a popcorn
maker. I don't know how to get through this on my own.
As I hold Donna's hand a little tighter and allow myself drift off, my
final thought is, thankfully, I don't have to.
TBC...