Title: The Art of the Deal
Author: Cathy Miller (www.cathyswestwing.com)
Rating: Everybody
Category: Future fic – Josh and Donna with teenage children
Feedback: Always love to hear what people think
Disclaimer: They are not mine. If they were, I’d be living a VERY different lifestyle
and wouldn’t need to teach summer school.
A/N: This is a special request by Adolfo who has been a faithful feedback sender.
While sitting in my horrendously boring Grad school class today, I came up with
this. It’s the only decent thing to come of that class. At least I THINK it’s decent;
you can make the final call.
Andrea’s POV:
I am going into the toughest negotiation of my life, but I am confident I can
handle it. I have spent almost 16 years being trained in debate and negotiations.
Both of my parents have instilled it in us since birth, but it is my Father, Joshua
Lyman, political consultant extraordinaire, who has put his negotiation tactics
into a list of rules. Today, I am going to use his own rules against him.
Lyman Negotiation Rule #1: Get your opponent on your turf.
Where you hold your negotiation is just as important as what you say in your
negotiation. Being not quite 16, I really don’t have any turf of my own, so I’ve
decided neutral turf is the best I can hope for under these circumstances.
Neutral turf means someplace that everyone in our family is treated equally; the
obvious answer is at the kitchen table during our family dinner.
Lyman Negotiation Rule #2: Lull your opponent into a false sense of security.
I wait until all of us are seated at the table and the food has made its way around
to everyone. Mom made one of Dad’s favorites tonight; hamburgers on the grill.
Dad’s hamburger is, predictably, burnt to a crisp. Ben, my older brother, and I
share a smile over his delight in the coal black burger. My younger sister Ava
and our youngest sibling, David are both too busy eating their own dinner to pay
much attention to Dad’s.
“Report cards came home today.” I note casually and exchange another look with
Ben.
“And?” Dad responds just as casually.
“Straight A’s.” Ben answers, just as casually. Dad’s eyebrows go up.
“Even you’re A.P. classes?” he inquires.
“Yep.” Ben tells him and takes another bite of his burger.
“Isn’t that great?” I chime in. “Ben worked really hard. Some of my friends are in
his A.P. English class and they said they’re lucky to get out of their just passing.”
Lyman Negotiation Rule #3: Form an alliance that will benefit you both.
“You worked hard too, Andie.” Ben acknowledges. “It’s hard to work the hours
you’ve been working and keep up your grades.
Mom tries to disguise her laugh as a cough, but I caught it, and so did Dad who is
looking at her strangely now.
“I’m very proud of you both.” Mom announces.
“Me too.” Dad agrees.
“Can we go out for ice cream to celebrate?” Ava asks.
“Yeah, ice cream!” David seconds the motion.
“We do all the work, and you two think you get ice cream to celebrate?” Benjamin
protests.
“You don’t want ice cream, Ben?” Dad teases.
“I love ice cream, it’s just not the reward I was thinking of.”
“And what WAS the reward you were thinking of?” Dad asks shrewdly.
Ben shrugs. “Some of the guys are going to the beach the week after school is
out. Brent’s family has a house on the shore. I thought maybe we could take my
car.”
“Oh, did you?” Dad asks, amused.
“Ben’s really responsible.” I argue for him. “He’s never even gotten a ticket!”
“What are you, his lawyer?” Dad asks.
“I’m really proud of him and you should be too.” I tell him vehemently. “He
deserves to go to the beach with his friends, and it’s okay with me if he takes the
car we share.”
“Well now that that’s settled…” Dad quips.
“Are you saying ‘no’ Dad?” Ben asks point blank.
“No, I’m not saying ‘no’, but I’m not saying ‘yes’ either. This is a decision I’d like
to discuss with your Mom first.” Dad says reasonably.
“Sure.” Ben nods in agreement. Since we already talked to Mom and she’s part
of our alliance, that answer is as good as a ‘yes’. Ben digs into his burger fully
satisfied. Now, I’m up. I give him a pointed look and he appears puzzled. Boys are
so clueless sometimes. I give him another look as Ava tells us all about her
stupid science teacher and their ‘experiment’ with insects. Finally the light bulb
goes on for big brother.
“Hey, Andie, have you decided what you want to do for your Birthday, yet?” Ben
asks me. His delivery sounds slightly rehearsed, but nobody besides me seems
to notice.
Lyman Negotiation rule #4: Get your opponent to agree to your premise.
“I don’t know.” I say nonchalantly. “Turning sixteen is pretty special. Do you
remember what you did on your 16th Birthday Dad?”
“Sure. My parents and I had a special dinner, then me and my friends went to a
movie and I got to drive.” Dad grins and his dimples pop out. I’m guessing there’
s more to this story, but that’s for another time.
“See it’s a memory that stays with you forever.” I point out.
“Forever?” Dad exchanges a laugh with Mom. “It might seem like forever since I
turned 16 Andie, but it wasn’t that long ago.”
“Still, don’t you think it’s a…rite of passage?” I push a little.
“It is definitely a rite of passage.” He agrees and he steals some of my fries.
Normally, I’d protest, but under the circumstances I just smile.
“So I’d like my 16th Birthday to be memorable.” I continue. “It’s already somewhat
special because I get to start driving and I get to start dating.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Dad stops me. “I said we could TALK about you dating when
you were 16.”
Lyman Negotiation rule #5: Get your opponent to answer a series of ‘yes’
questions.
“But I turn 16 next week, right?”
“Yes. Next week you do turn 16.”
“And that Birthday is a rite of passage, right?”
“Yeah, but-“
“It’s a big step closer to adulthood, don’t you think?’
“Certainly, but-“
“If I’m old enough and responsible enough to drive a motor vehicle, it stands to
reason that I’m old enough and responsible enough to handle, say, dinner out in
a public place with a member of the opposite sex, don’t you think?”
“See the opposite sex part is where I’m getting hung up.” Dad tells me.
“But Andrea can handle herself, Dad.” Ben finally joins in. “She’s mature and
smart. If she decided to let some guy take her to dinner, it would have to be
someone else who’s smart and mature, right?”
“Uh-huh.” Dad pushes his plate back and sits back in his chair with his arms
folded. “Is there some particular smart, mature member of the opposite sex we’
re discussing here?”
“I’m just saying that if I wanted to go out on a dinner date, hypothetically
speaking, I would want to make sure that you and Mom were comfortable with the
situation. There would have to be guidelines, I’m sure, so we all knew the
expectations.”
Lyman Negotiating rule #6: Make reasonable concessions so you appear
reasonable.
“You’re damn right, there’d have to be guidelines!” Dad leans forward again.
“Joshua!” Mom admonishes him. “Let’s watch the language.”
“He says ‘damn’ all the time, Mom.” Ave notes.
“When Republicans are on CNN.” David adds. “And when he’s advising
candidates.”
“Okay. We’ve established Dad likes the word ‘damn’. Can we get back to the
guidelines?” I interrupt. “Obviously, my curfew stays, and I think dating in public
places would be reasonable too. You would have to meet the guy, I’m sure.”
“I’m sure, too.” Dad agrees. “And your mother or I would have to drive you to and
from any hypothetical dinner dates.”
“We could start there.” I go along. “But after a pre-determined amount of time, I
would want the opportunity to re-negotiate that point.”
“One year.” Dad offers.
“Get real. 3 months.” I counter.
“6 months.” He gives me a look I can’t quite determine, but I think he’s testing
me.
“4 months.” I push. “It’s a quarter of a year. That’s plenty of time to establish
trust.”
Dad purses his lips and after the longest minute of my life, relents. “4 months.”
Lyman Negotiating Rule #6: Re-State your points of agreement.
“So when I turn 16, I can go out to dinner with a member of the opposite sex as
long as you or Mom takes us to and from our date, our dates stay out in public,
you meet the guy, and I keep my curfew.”
“That sounds about right.” Dad agrees.
“And after four months, we can re-open negotiations on whether or not I can go
to and from my dates on my own?”
“We will talk about it in 4 months.” Dad stipulates. “I’ve only agreed to talk about
it then.”
Lyman Negotiating Rule # 7: Never gloat in front of your opponent. Save that for
your private victory party; with the finest bagels and muffins in the land.
“I can live with that.” I get up from the table. I have an important call to make.
“Thanks Dad.” I wink at Ben and leave before Dad changes his mind.
Donna’s POV:
“Okay, clear your plates and get your shoes. I’m treating for ice cream.” I tell
them. There is a mass exodus; everyone in our family loves ice cream. I stand
behind my husband and put my arms around his neck.
“You handled that very well.” I comment.
“So did she.” He admits. “I swear, Donna, it won’t be long before I’m consulting
on her campaign.” He says all smug like he is solely responsible for our daughter’
s brains and abilities.
“Well, of course, she takes after her mother.” I reply.
Josh wisely doesn’t touch that comment, but instead changes the subject. “Still, I’
m glad you warned me about the dating issue or I would have blown it. A Father
needs time to prepare for something like that.”
“Undoubtedly.” I say sarcastically. “Mothers have no emotional investment in
their daughter dating.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” He replies. “Hey, neither you nor our
daughter mentioned who her hypothetical dinner date was with. Who is this pillar
of maturity and intelligence?”
“Cory Haffley.” I say as I go to get my purse…wait for it…
“Just a second…Cory HAFFLEY? Jeff Haffley’s son? Former Speaker Haffley who
has been the bane of my existence for…I don’t know how many years? You’ve
got to be kidding me.”
“She will be going out with CORY Haffley, not his Father.”
“She will not be- Andrea!” Josh shouts for his daughter, who warily sticks her
head back in the kitchen.
“Yes, Dad?”
“You can NOT go out with Cory Haffley.”
Lyman Negotiation Rule #8: Never re-open negotiations once you have an
agreement.
“But Dad, we already have an agreement. You’ve met Cory already, and as long
as I keep the other terms you’ve already given me permission to go.”
“Andrea, maybe your Father has a perfectly valid reason to break his word.” I
break in and emphasis the ‘break his word’ part of the sentence so Josh is
reminded what is at stake here. He is always reminding the kids that keeping
your word is tantamount.
“Do you Dad?” Andrea asks him.
“Yes!” he practically shouts.
“What is it?” she looks worriedly at him when she asks.
“Because…because I said so!” he finishes lamely. Andrea and I exchange looks.
“I’m calling Cory to tell him we’re on for Friday. Mom will you drive us?”
“Josh?” I prompt him. Come on Joshua, you can do this.
“I’ll…I’ll drive you.” He offers quietly and is rewarded by a beaming smile from his
eldest daughter; dimples and all.
“Thanks, Dad.” She says and I wink at her before she leaves to call Cory.
“I don’t understand. ‘Because I said so’ was a perfectly reasonable argument
when I was growing up.” He grouses.
“We’ve trained our children to demand more.” I remind him.
“Yeah, we really shouldn’t have done that.” He complains.
“Come on, Joshua. I’ll buy you an ice cream.” I pull on his arm. “And when we get
home later, I’ll find a way to reward you for your excellent negotiations with our
children.”
“Now that’s a deal I can agree to.” He kisses me and we go to gather our family.