Title: Conference Time
Author: Cathy Miller
Timeline: In the Go West and Our Choice Universe, post Santos administration
“You have got to be fucking kidding me, Donna!”
“Josh!” Donna protested.
“You promised you would be back for this. You promised!” Josh was losing his shit
and he didn’t care who knew it.
“It’s not like I’m making a choice here Joshua. The airport is closed. I can’t control the
weather or the airport closing because of it.”
“I’ll call Sam. He’ll make them re-open the airport.” Josh was elated by his plan.
“You are not going to call the President of the United States about a winter storm and
a closed airport.” Donna said very clearly. She did not want to leave Josh any wiggle
room here. “You will not call him at all.”
“I can NOT do this by myself, Donna!”
“I’m afraid you’re going to have to.”
“No. No, no, no.” Josh continued the debate. “I don’t know where to go, who to talk to,
or what to say.”
“It’s all written down on the conference forms on the fridge, have Tori help you.”
“Very funny. Sure, I’ll have my 6 year old walk me through parent teacher
conferences.”
“You’ve had worse ideas.” Donna muttered. “Maybe you can get one of your students
to help you navigate this complicated process, you know, for extra credit or
something.”
“Hey! I’m the one who’s stuck with this all alone. There’s no reason for you to be
snarky over there.” Josh countered.
“Actually, I think there might be a reason or two; I’m snowed in, I have no clothes for
staying overnight since this was just supposed to be a day trip, I won’t see my children
or my husband tonight, and I’m all alone over here….”
“Well, okay, when you put it like that…” Josh admitted. “I guess there’s no choice…we’
ll just have to re-schedule the conferences. Do you have all the teacher’s numbers or
should I have Jenny get them off the fridge and call you with them?”
Donna paused waiting for the absurdity of her husband’s plan to occur to him. After a
silent 30 seconds, she decided waiting was an exercise in futility. “You CAN’T
reschedule conferences Joshua.”
“But I-“
“You CAN’T.” she repeated. “Go home, eat with the kids and get to the school by 6.
The parking lot is always jammed and the first conference is at 6:20. Just follow the
schedule on the conference sheets and you’ll be fine.”
“But what if they have questions and I don’t know the answers? You’re the one who
keeps track of all the details.” Josh whined.
“This is a conference about your children. I sincerely doubt anyone will ask a question
about your children that you’ll be unable to answer.” She drawled.
“Donna…” Josh took a deep breath and blew it out again. “What are you going to do
over there?”
“Thanks for finally acknowledging that I’m the one with the dilemma here.” Donna
chuckled. “I’m tempted to get a cab to the airport hotel and crash for the night; try to
get out first thing in the morning, but if I get to a hotel and they start sending flights
out again I’m going to kick myself.”
“Get a room, Donna. You’ve been traveling all day. You’ve got to be exhausted.” Josh
advised her. “I can’t even text Sam?” he asked for clarification.
“No.” Donna answered simply.
“Fine. Get to a hotel and take a hot bath without any kids banging on the door; I know
how rare that is for you.”
“Okay. I will.” Donna agreed. “Call me when you get back from the conferences?”
“Yeah, just keep your cell on so I can call you if I need to.” Josh instructed.
“I promise, but you’ll be fine. I love you.” Donna hung up and Josh packed up his bag
with papers that needed to be graded before he left for home.
When he arrived, pandemonium had erupted.
“Daddy, Mommy’s snowed in and she can’t come home.” Tori reported.
“I know, baby. She’s safe though. There’s just too much snow for the planes to take
off.” Josh hunkered down to reassure her.
“Oh. Then we should go pick her up in your car.” Tori reasoned.
“Honey, it’s too far to- we can’t pick her up in my car, Victoria Helen. Jenny!” Josh
called for his niece/nanny.
“Right here.” Jenny called back as she came in with Jake in tow. “We’ve got a couple
upset campers who want their mom.”
“They’re not the only ones.” Josh muttered.
“Sit down and eat some dinner. You have to leave for the conferences in 20 minutes.”
Jenny ushered him through to the kitchen. “I took the four conference schedules and
condensed them on one sheet for you.”
“You are an angel.” Josh gushed. “Now if you’ll just go to the actual conferences for
me…”
“Dream on. Donna would kill me…and then she’d kill you…think of the children.”
“I mean it Jen, I’ve got $200 bucks in my wallet with your name on it, if you’ll go in my
place.”
“Get real. You never have cash in your wallet. Eat your dinner. You’re going to need
your strength.” Jenny concluded.
“Hey, Dad.” Ben called as he came in. “Where’s Mom?”
“Hello, Benjamin. Do you still live here?” Josh asked.
“Uh…yeah?”
“Have you not heard your siblings wailing because your mother is snowed in and can’t
make it home tonight?”
“That sucks.” Ben decided.
“You have no idea.” Josh agreed as Ally joined them at the table. “Ally cat. How was
your day?”
“Fine. If Mr. Meid says anything about talking too much in class with Carrie, you
should just ignore him.”
“I should.” Josh repeated.
“Uh-huh.” Ally confirmed. “He thinks EVERYONE talks too much in his class, which
wouldn’t be a problem if he wasn’t so BORING!”
“Ah-kay.” Josh helped himself to some dinner and decided to let the advice go for the
moment.
“I know what you’re thinking right now.” Ben leaned in toward his father.
“Oh yeah? What am I thinking?” Josh played along.
“You’re wondering if that’s why the girls talk so much in your class.” Ben smirked.
“No…I am certainly not wondering if that’s why- Where did you get that smart mouth,
anyway?”
“I inherited it.” Ben shot right back at him.
“God help me.”
“Daddy, who’s going to go to my conference tonight?” Tori asked.
“Who’s going to- I am. I, your father, am going to your conference.” Josh insisted.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Tori shook her head.
“Why not?”
“Cause Ms. Adams said she had something ‘portant to talk about at conferences and I
think Mommy should be there.” Tori explained.
“So do I.” Josh replied. “But since Mommy can’t be there, we’ll just have to settle for
Daddy going alone to the conferences, okay?”
“Okay, but do you even know where my conference is?” Tori checked. “Cause it’s in
the special ed room, not my regular room.”
“It’s all written down right here for me, Victoria Helen.” Josh waved the sheet of paper
Jenny had used to make a cheat sheet for him.
“That’s not going to be enough.” Tori declared. “You’re going to need more help.”
Josh was about to make a smart aleck remark when he looked around the table and
saw all of his children eyeing him suspiciously from their seats. Jenny watched him
warily from the doorway. “Your faith in me warms my soul.” He failed to mention his
own self-doubts in his conversation with Donna earlier. “So what do you all expect me
to do here? Take Tori along to guide me through conferences? Have a six year old
show me the way?” Josh laughed.
***********************
“Daddy, hurry up! We’re going to be late.” Tori pulled on his arm.
“This is utterly humiliating.” Josh muttered.
“What’s humiliating?” Tori asked.
“Having a 2nd grader lead me around on conference night.”
“No, I mean, what does humiliating mean?” Tori reiterated.
“It means…to publicly damage your pride.” Josh explained.
“Hmmm…that doesn’t sound good.” She decided.
“It’s really not.” Josh agreed. “Where to first, kiddo?”
“Jake’s conference with Mrs. Keiffer.” Tori replied after consulting Jenny’s cheat sheet.
“This way.” Tori led him directly to Jake’s class where he received a report that his
youngest child was doing just as expected so far in kindergarten and that (surprise,
surprise) Mrs. Keiffer LOVED having him in her class. With that quick and painless
session over with, Josh and Tori went next to Ally’s conference where, as predicted,
things were mentioned about the level of side discussions she engaged in with her
friend Carrie. When Josh suggested splitting the pair up and the teacher agreed, he
thought maybe these conference things weren’t that tough to navigate after all.
Each time Josh walked into the classroom for a conference, Tori pulled out her book
and read until Josh came back out. So by the time they reached Ben’s conference
they had established a routine.
Ben’s conference brought a bit of a monkey wrench, when Ben’s teacher suggested
that perhaps Josh could speak to Ben about dialing down some of his more vehement
social views and Josh asked ‘why’? The teacher’s jaw dropped in shock at Josh’s
complete lack of agreement that Ben should be more circumspect in voicing his
opinions.
“Look, the world is full of idiots shooting their mouths off. We need more people with
brains speaking up not shutting up. Ben is a bright, thoughtful, and insightful kid. No
way are you, or anyone else putting a muzzle on him.” Josh said decisively.
“But Mr. Lyman-“
“Has he said anything untrue?”
“Well, no but-“
“Has he been rude or disrespectful to you or his classmates?”
“Not precisely no, but he’s very forceful about his points of view and that has an
intimidating effect on the other students.” The teacher argued.
“Then I think it’s your job to make sure all points of view are heard in a respectful
environment, but I don’t think it’s Ben’s job to shut up to avoid making other kids feel-
No, I will not speak to Ben about this. Donna and I have raised all our children to use
their heads and use their voices. Now we’ve also taught them to respect their teachers
and to be respectful to their peers…well, honestly that’s mostly been Donna. Anyway,
if he’s stepped over those lines, you let me know, and I will take care of it personally
and quickly, but as long as he hasn’t, the onus is on you. Was there anything else?”
“Umm…no, that was really all I wanted to discuss with you and Mrs. Lyman. Ben is
doing very well in his classes and he’s a very hard worker.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Thanks for your time.” Josh rose, shook the teacher’s hand and
exited to meet up with Tori for the final conference of the night. “So what is Ms. Adam’
s going to tell me in your conference kiddo?”
“Second grade sucks, Daddy.” Tori replied and Josh chuckled. It was a well known fact
in the Lyman household that anything new in Tori’s world ‘sucked’. It usually took a
good 3 or 4 months before she could adjust, so it was no wonder that in late
November, only 2 months into the school year, Tori still thought second grade sucked.
“That’s what I’ve heard.” Josh nodded. “Which room is your special ed room, baby?”
“The one with the star on it.” Tori pointed.
“Okay, sit tight and I’ll be right back.” Josh instructed. He walked into the ‘star room’
and startled at the assembled crowd until he remembered that for special ed
conferences, they got to meet with the whole special ed team in addition to Ms.
Adams, the regular ed teacher.
“Josh, thank you for coming. Have a seat.” Ms. Adams invited him to sit next to her.
“Donna called to explain she wouldn’t be able to meet with us tonight and made me
promise to be gentle with you this evening.” Ms. Adams smiled teasingly, letting Josh
know Donna had discussed exactly how freaked out he’d been with Tori’s teacher.
“Thanks.” Josh smirked.
“I’m not sure if you remember everyone here from Tori’s transition meeting over the
summer; Brenda is our Speech Language Pathologist, Julia is our Occupational
Therapist, and Melissa is our Autism Specialist.” Josh nodded a greeting to each of
them.
“We have an update on Tori’s Individual Education Plan that outlines the progress
Tori is making so far this year, and this is an extra copy for you to bring home for
Donna to peruse. As you can see, she’s made some nice gains in the academic
areas; she’s very bright.” Melissa explained.
“Believe me, we’re aware of that.” Josh drawled.
“I’m sure you are.” Melissa smiled. “However, in the area of social communication and
interaction, she’s either making no progress or backsliding a bit.”
Josh blinked in surprise. “Are you sure? I mean, I know things haven’t gotten much
better but backsliding?”
“I’m curious.” Ms. Adams interjected. “What does Tori say about second grade?”
“That it sucks.” Josh answered matter of factly before he realized how that might
sound to this very capable second grade teacher. “God, I’m sorry. She doesn’t mean
it like that.”
Ms. Adams smiled. “No offense taken. I understand what she means. Josh, it doesn’t
seem that an inclusive classroom is the best environment for Tori right now.” Ms.
Adams paused to let that sink in. “The team has been discussing this for the past few
weeks and our recommendation, which is certainly contingent on agreement from you
and Donna, would be to move her to the self contained autism classroom.”
“A self contained classroom?” Josh repeated, fingering the cell phone in his pocket
thinking he should put Donna on speakerphone.
“Lots of our students make the biggest gains when they spend more time in a self
contained classroom that is set up specifically to meet their needs.” Melissa took over
the conversation. “The things that upset Tori most, the unexpected changes in
routine, the constant social bombardment from 23 peers in the classroom, would be
reduced or eliminated in an Autism classroom.”
“But- What does that signal to Tori? Isn’t that telling her we don’t think she can make it
in a regular classroom?”
“She’s not making it in a regular classroom, Josh.” Brenda spoke up. “She’s getting
more anxious there every day and doesn’t know how to cope with it. That’s why
second grade sucks. We’d want to present the transition as a positive because, after
all, it is a positive.”
“I don’t think she’ll see it that way.” Josh shook his head. “She loves being at the same
school as her brothers and sister. It’s one of the few areas of her life where she feels
like she fits in with them.”
“That’s where our good news comes in.” Melissa reported. “Our numbers of ASD
students now support an additional ASD classroom and that classroom will be in this
building. She’ll stay on the bus, and in the building, with her siblings.”
“I don’t know…” Josh shook his head again feeling like he was in over his head.
“It’s not a decision you need to make this minute.” Ms. Adams assured him. “You
should discuss this with Donna, of course, but if I may suggest it, you should discuss it
with Tori too. Look beyond the ‘second grade sucks’ comment and ask her why she
doesn’t like it. She’s been in the ASD room with Melissa for our social skills classes.
Ask her what she thinks of it.”
“The most difficult part of school for our kiddos with autism is the unpredictability of it
all. Tori’s anxiety and frustration are mounting and because she doesn’t have the
skills to understand that or communicate it to us, it’s going to reach critical mass at
some point soon. We want to cut into that path before it gets that far.” Melissa added.
Josh wasn’t sure how to respond so he merely nodded his head. His eyes had welled
up with tears over the fact that his daughter had been suffering through her days, and
he hadn’t even been aware of it.
“Josh, I feel confident in speaking for this team when I say that we’ve all been
delighted to work with Tori and we feel she’s a very lucky little girl to have two such
devoted and involved parents. This isn’t a step backward and it isn’t a failure. We just
want Tori to have the best opportunity to be successful and enjoy her time in school.”
Ms. Adams pointed out.
“So do we.” Josh agreed. “I’ll bring this home and talk it over with Donna; and Tori.
Thanks for your time, ladies. We appreciate all the work you do for Tori and our
family.”
“Goodnight, Josh.” Ms. Adams shook his hand right before he left. He found his
daughter exactly where he’d left her. He sat down next to her without saying a word.
He waited, but she didn’t respond to his presence at all. This was typical of kids with
autism, he knew. After Tori had been diagnosed, he’d read every book he could find
on the subject and practically interrogated the Secretaries of Education and Health
and Human Services. Still, there was just too much they didn’t know about Autism.
“Tori?” Josh called her name quietly.
“Uh-huh.” She answered but still didn’t look up.
“I’m all done. Are you ready to go home?”
“Sure.” Tori closed her book and stood up to leave.
“Hey! Where is Miss Melissa’s room?” Josh asked suddenly. Tori stopped in her
tracks.
“Upstairs.”
“Can you show me?” Josh asked already knowing the answer.
“We don’t have any conferences there.” Tori pointed out and Josh smiled at the use
of the word ‘we’.
“I know, but Miss Melissa was telling me you go there every day for your social skills
group and I’ve never seen it.” Josh hedged. Tori shrugged and led her father to the
room he’d asked for.
Josh wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but it really didn’t appear much different
than Tori’s second grade room downstairs. The classroom was more sparse and there
were a lot more visual cues and pictures schedules, but other than that, nobody
walking into the room would have KNOWN it was a classroom for children with autism.
“Miss Melissa seems very nice.” Josh dropped that bit into the conversation.
“She lets me read any book I want.” Tori replied and Josh thought that remark was
telling.
“You can’t read any book you want in Ms. Adams class?”
“Sure, but they’re all baby books in there. Miss Melissa takes us to the library.”
“Do you like going to Miss Melissa’s room?”
“Uh-huh.”
“What if you had a choice to be in Miss Melissa’s room all the time instead of just for
your group time?”
Tori actually looked him in the eyes. “I can’t be in Miss Melissa’s room. I’m in Ms.
Adams room.”
“I know. But what if you could change rooms?” Tori seemed to consider that for a
moment and looked around the room again in a more appraising manner, her eyes
bright with excitement.
“I want a desk in the front.” Was her determination. “Then I can always see the picture
schedule. Can we go home now?”
“Sure.” Josh kissed her head and took her small hand in his. “Let’s go home. Thanks
for all your help tonight, Victoria Helen.”
“You’re welcome.” She answered. “Daddy?”
“What?”
“Are you sure we can’t pick Mommy up in your car?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll show you on the map when we get home okay?”
“Okay,” Tori decided to take his word for it.
************************************
“Josh?” Donna tried to rouse her husband, but he seemed dead to the world. “Josh, I’
m home.”
“Whattimeizzit?”
“4:38 am.” Donna told him.
“Wait, how did you get home?” he asked blearily.
“Sam re-opened the airport for me.” She joked and Josh half sat up.
“What?”
“I’m kidding. They were able to re-open two runways and I got on one of the first flights
out.” Donna slid into bed with him and used his body heat to warm up her chilled limbs.
“Oh…good. We missed you.”
“I wasn’t even gone 24 hours.” Donna objected.
“Doesn’t matter. We still missed you.”
“Awww…I missed you guys too. How were conferences?”
“Ummmm…” Josh tried to pull his thoughts together. “Ally’s going to be pissed. Her
teacher said she’s spending too much class time talking to Carrie so I suggested he
split them up.”
“Yeah, that’ll go over like a led balloon. If it comes up, I’d blame it on the teacher.”
“My thoughts exactly.” Josh agreed. “Jake’s teacher is obviously smoking crack
because she told me he takes turns, follows directions, and is a joy to have in class.”
“Clearly on drugs of some kind.” Donna agreed this time.
“Uh-huh…Oh, and get this! Ben’s putz of a teacher wanted us to talk to Ben about
toning down his thoughts and opinions in class because it might intimidate other
children.”
“He’s not being rude or-“
“No, no; that was the first thing I asked. He’s being respectful, just adamant in his
opinions.”
“Then screw that!” Donna blustered.
“We’re in mind meld, Donnatella.” Josh was waking up a bit now and turned over so
they were face to face.
“What about Tori’s conference?”
Josh blew out a breath. “They want us to consider moving Tori to an ASD room full
time.”
“No.”
“Donna…”
“I thought we were in agreement on this; that Tori would be better off in an inclusive
setting for the majority of her day.”
“We were! I mean, we are. It’s just that some of what they said made sense and then I
talked to Tori-“
“You spoke to Tori about this before you spoke to me?” Donna nearly shrieked.
“NO! I just asked her some questions about school and about the part of the day that
she spends in the ASD room already.”
“And?”
“Donna, she’s really miserable in the second grade room, and not just your normal
‘Tori’s miserable in a new situation’ kind of miserable either. The whole team agreed
that her social interaction skills, which were the main reason we wanted her in the
inclusive classroom aren’t getting any better, and in fact, may be getting worse.” Josh
paused to put his thoughts together. “I brought home her progress report and it paints
a picture, but I got to tell you Donna, Tori’s eyes lit up at just the thought of spending
her whole day in Melissa’s room.”
“I want to read the report and talk to Ms. Adams myself.”
“You should. You should talk to Tori too.”
“I will. When do they want a decision?”
“As soon as possible.” Josh replied.
“Okay, then.” Donna sighed. “Looks like I missed quite a bit in the few hours I was
gone.”
“You did, but I handled it for us.”
“Yes, you did.” Donna smiled. “You did very well handling conferences all by
yourself…”
“I hear the mocking in your tone, you know.”
“I deny any such mocking tone and to prove it, I’m going to get you a shiny star sticker
for you to take to work today.”
“Thanks.” Josh smirked. “But I’m not really motivated by shiny star stickers. I was
thinking about a more personal type of reward.” His hands moved over his wife’s
warming body.
“Hmmm…Let’s see how your performance is and then we can conference on the
results.” Donna negotiated.
“Excellent, I’m becoming adept at conferencing…” Josh assured her just before he
took her mouth in a kiss. He may be capable of handling some issues on his own, but
he much preferred conferencing on these with his wife.
The End.