Chapter 13.
Think, Josh, think. How the hell do I get us out of this? We’ve been driving for almost 45 minutes
and things are looking more and more rural. I know sooner or later we’ll be found. Most of the
tracking devices came off when Jack made me change, but there’s still the one in my watch. So I
know eventually Mike and Ron will find us. It’s just a matter of whether we’ll be alive at the time.
I’m incredibly worried about Donna. She looks horrible. She’s bruised, swollen, dazed, reeks of
Scotch and I may be imagining it, but it looks like she’s has little shards of glass on her. I want to
beat Jack to a bloody pulp, but I know now for sure that she’s suffered at least once for my actions
and I can’t risk that again.
Given the state she’s in, she’s obviously no help in overpowering him with me. So, I have to figure
out how to outsmart him.
Normally, this wouldn’t be so daunting, but one of us is a raving lunatic and believe it or not, it’s
not me for once.
Jack’s been trying to goad me into fighting with him or something, but I know whatever I say, he’ll
take out on her and so I’ve remained quiet. He’s been saying pretty outrageous things. I’m pretty
sure they’re meant to throw me off my game and some of them have come pretty close.
Unfortunately, Donna hasn’t really been in any kind of condition to dispute the truthfulness of
some of them.
My eyes are constantly moving between the road and her reflection in the rear view mirror. Jack’s
next to her in the back seat, presumably to keep me in line, I suppose.
“About 15 more minutes now.” He announces. So time is running out and I have no weapon. Jack’s
got a gun and some other contraption that puts a horrified look in Donna’s eyes whenever he
holds it up. Jack seems like quite the master of torture.
Suddenly, it’s all crystal clear. I’m DRIVING our weapon. Wherever we’re going, it’s so Jack can kill
us when we get there. So if I’m going to die, it might as well be in trying to escape and not because
this psycho marched us there.
I wish I had Mike’s driving skills right now. He’d know exactly how to use this car to his advantage.
The only thing I can do is try and put it into a tree on Jack’s side. There are plenty to choose from
after all. I accelerate a bit as I take in the roadside and look for the most attractive spot to crash.
“What’s your hurry, Josh?” Jack chuckles. “You know you’re going to die when we get there, right?”
Donna meets my eyes in the rearview mirror and I try to apologize for what I’m about to do. There’
s no way I can avoid pain for us here, I’m sure. But Jack never put a seatbelt on.
I accelerate a little more. I’m not sure how fast is safe to do this. Well, there’s nothing safe about it,
but there’s deadly and not deadly impacts.
“Josh?” Jack asks, shifting a little. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I’m driving, Jack.” I reply.
“You’re speeding up.” He says. He takes his gun out and points it at Donna. “Slow the hell down or
she dies.”
“She’s going to die anyway, right?” I counter.
“Don’t fuck with me, Josh.”
He’s threatened to shoot her in my presence twice now. He hasn’t cocked the hammer either time.
I slam on the brakes and jerk the wheel to the left. The car goes careening off the road. Donna
screams. Jack gets thrust up against the back of the seat. The car’s coming out of a 360 when it
smacks a big, `ol sturdy tree…thankfully on Jack’s side.
I take a moment in the quiet aftermath of the “accident” to regroup and take stock. My breathing is
labored and my pulse is racing. My left shoulder and elbow are killing me, but I can move my
arm…a little. I think other than that, I’m basically okay.
I look back into the rearview mirror at Donna. She’s got blood coming down the side of her face,
but it doesn’t look too bad. She’s also conscious.
“Are you all right?” I ask quickly. I pull the seatbelt off and wince as I open the door. She nods
jerkily at me. I get out of the car and stumble to the back door. I’m a little shaky, but I yank the
door open. She’s shaking and crying. Jack’s spread unconscious across her lap. I see the gun on
the floor and immediately get that out of his grabbing distance. I see the other gun-like thing he’s
taunted her with and pull that out, too.
“What the hell is this thing?” I frown.
“Needle.” She says quietly. I don’t like how she spoke just now.
“Donna!” I say sharply and she opens her eyes wider. There’s blood on the side of the car and I
think she must have hit her head.
I feel for a pulse on Jack’s neck. It’s light, but it’s there. I push him to the floor of the car off of her
and unbuckle her seatbelt, untie her and gingerly pick her up and out of the car.
“Just shoot him.” She whispers harshly, clinging to my shirt and my shoulder. I’m surprised by the
venom in her voice.
“He’s not coming after us, Donna, and we’ll take the gun with us.” I say. If he regains
consciousness, he’ll have no idea which direction we went.
I lean her up against the car and that’s when I notice she’s barefoot. “What happened to your
shoes?”
“I lost them when I tried to escape.”
“You tried to escape?”
“I DID escape, but he caught me.” She says and points to her head and I’m visibly reminded of her
“consequences.” But there’s something more…something that I didn’t notice before.
There’s bruises on her neck.
I bring my shaking hands up to her delicate neck and gently tilt her head up so I can see better. I
swallow against the bile that’s rising in my throat and look down at the gun in my hand. I look up at
Donna who has tears in her eyes.
He caught her and choked her.
I look down at the gun in my hand and then at Jack’s unconscious form in the car. Everything I see
is red and for the very first time in my life that I can remember, I feel raw anger. The blinding
human rage to make the being who hurt her suffer like they never have before. I have the power
in my hand to take the ultimate line of defense and ensure he never hurts her again.
My hand closes tightly on the gun. “Just shoot him.” She whispered before, and she meant
it…then. But that wasn’t my Donna talking. My Donna could never do that.
And neither could I.
I can’t kill a man that doesn’t see his death coming. This is isn’t self-defense, it’s cold-blooded
murder at point blank range, and I can’t do it.
I can however take whatever it is he’s been pumping into Donna and at least buy us some more
time. I push the needle up against his shoulder and press the plunger. He doesn’t so much as
twitch. I look across the car and see that his head has left a beautiful spider-web on the window.
He’s not coming after us anytime soon. But I’m in motion to get us out of here all the same.
I pop the trunk and rush around to pull it open. I immediately regret that I did this. Inside are
garbage bags, a shovel, gasoline, rope. My stomach turns and I try my best to hide my
mortification from Donna. I also spot a suitcase and a backpack. I dump the contents of the
backpack out without paying attention to what any of it is and shove the gun and needle inside. I’ll
need someone to identify what the hell he gave her. I spot a plaid blanket towards the back of the
trunk and shove that in the backpack, too. Then my eyes fall on a suitcase. I presume Jack was
going to take it with him when he left the country. I pull it out of the trunk and hiss against the pain
in my arm.
“What’s the matter?” Donna asks.
“There’s a suitcase here. I want to see if it’s got anything you can wear in it.”
“I’m not wearing anything of his.” She says immediately.
“Donna, you can’t go around in a skirt and no shoes. If he wakes up, we have to be able to move
fast.”
“If you shoot him, he won’t wake up.” She reasons.
“I’m not going to shoot him. I drugged him. Donna, he wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and he hit the
window. He’s going to be here for a while, I’m sure.”
“Then I’m appropriately dressed.”
I drop the bag on the ground and walk back over to her, my body protesting every move I make. I
bring my hands gently up to her face and stroke her cheeks with my thumbs. Her eyes fill up with
tears and I gently touch my lips to hers.
“I was so scared I was never going to see you again; or if I did, I’d be too late.”
“He told me he was going to make you watch while he killed me and then he was going to shoot
you.” She says tonelessly.
“Is this glass in your hair?”
“He broke a glass above my head.”
I close my eyes and tip my forehead against hers. “We HAVE to get out of here NOW, Donna. It’s
going to be getting dark soon. I don’t want you to be in a skirt and no shoes if we’re out here all
night.” She breathes in deeply and lets out a shuddered breath, then nods. “There’s my brave
girl.” I whisper and move back to the trunk. I help her change into sweatpants and tennis shoes as
fast as her battered body will let her, then throw the backpack over my shoulder with a wince and
take her hand.
We start back in the direction we came. It’s slow going as Donna limps along next to me and I start
to wonder if I should be carrying her instead. She looks incredibly uncomfortable walking.
“They’re never going to find us out here, Josh.” She whimpers.
“Yes, they will.” I assure her. “They hid GPS units on me.”
“But Jack made you change.”
“There’s one in my watch.” I smirk.
She smiles weakly and squeezes my hand. She really needs a doctor. There wasn’t a first aid kit in
the trunk. I guess Jack didn’t anticipate a fight.
“So, they’ll find us soon then.” She says softly and I nod in return.
Hopefully very soon.
And hopefully before Jack does.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
14.
I have no concept of how long we've been moving. My entire focus is solely on following Josh's
form as he moves through the underbrush and trees in front of me.
But to be honest, I don't know how I'm even remaining upright at this point. When we started out
from the car, just about everything in my body hurt. But now I don't seem to have any feeling at all.
Not pain...not tiredness...not even the feeling of the ground under my feet. Instead I feel wrapped
in cotton and as if I'm floating along behind Josh, tethered only by his hand holding mine. If it
wasn't for that contact, I'm pretty sure I'd simply float away.
I just hope that it really is Josh running ahead of me and not some kind of twisted hallucination.
The way my luck has been going, I'll probably wake up and find that I'm tied up in that horrible
cabin again and this has been some kind of dream. Then again, maybe Jack really did kill me in
the woods and this is some version of my own personal hell. Always running, never finding some
measure of peace.
Suddenly, the world comes to a crashing halt. It takes me a moment to realize that we've stopped
moving.
"Wait a minute..." I hear Josh say. Oddly, his voice sounds like it's coming to me from a long
distance even though he's standing right in front of me. "This looks promising..."
Then he steps away from me and our hands slide apart. Suddenly, I'm flooded with the urge to cry
at the loss of contact.
Josh walks over to look at something and it's very hard to see him. Now he's more shadow than
substance. Then I realize why. The sunlight is fading fast and I'm guessing it will be dark soon.
Wait...is it really getting dark or is my vision just failing? My mind can't tell the difference any more.
Again, I hear Josh speaking, but it sounds far away and I can't seem to understand the words he's
saying. Almost as if he's started speaking in a different language.
The next thing I know, the ground rushes up at me and everything goes black.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
A few minutes earlier...
I’m torn between two choices right now. Finding a place to hide until the good guys can find us or
continuing to trek on through these apparently endless woods until we find some kind of civilization.
We’ve been moving at a pretty steady pace this whole time, although it was clear early on that
whatever is wrong with Donna’s leg won’t let us move at more than a fast walk. I think that turned
out to be a blessing in disguise because otherwise our energy would have probably ran out a long
time ago or one of us would have added to our injuries by tripping on or running into something.
Not to mention we make a hell of a lot less noise moving through the woods like we are rather than
running flat out through it. I just hope we’re not leaving too much of a trail for Jack to follow...if he’s
following us. By now, I hope Mike and the cavalry have found the car and Jack’s in custody.
As much as my instinct is to keep moving, logically, I know that we’re both about worn out. Okay,
correction, I’M just about worn out, I’m pretty sure Donna is twelve degrees beyond exhausted.
After the day she’s had, I’m a little surprised she’s made it this far. It’s a real testament to her
strength of will. But even in the failing late afternoon light, I can see she’s getting paler by the
minute and her steps are becoming more and more unsteady. I’m guessing that even her iron will
is almost gone.
And that’s the realization that makes the decision for me. We have to find a place where we can
rest and hide until morning or until Mike and Ron find us, whichever comes first. Unfortunately, no
handy cabin or other form of shelter conveniently presents itself. Earlier, I toyed with the idea of
climbing up into one of the bigger trees and trying to hide there, but besides the fact that Donna
and I are in no condition to be climbing in and out of trees, most of these trees all look fairly young
and small and I doubt the branches would hold our weight.
Maybe if we go just a little farther, something will turn up. If nothing else we can do something I
saw in a movie once. The hero of the movie was lost in the woods and knew it was getting dark
and cold and so he found a shallow depression in the ground and covered himself with leaves for
insulation. We’ll also have our combined body heat and the blanket I shoved in the backpack for
warmth.
Having some kind of a plan B in place, makes me feel a little better. The problem is, now I’ve got to
work on plan A.
I swear if we get out of these woods, I will never boast about being an outdoorsman again. In fact, I
will be perfectly happy if I never SEE a tree again...well beyond the kind you find in a city park or in
the backyard of the house Donna and I are going to have. You know, the kind of trees that our
kids will spend hours playing in.
Whoa...where did that thought come from?
Focus Josh. There’ll be time to think about that later. Right now you need to work on that plan A
that will get you and Donna out of this mess so you can buy that house and have those kids.
And it better be fast because I wasn’t kidding when I said the light was going. I’m guessing that
within the next half hour to forty-five minutes it will be dark. And when I say dark, I mean out-here-
in-the-middle-of-freakin’-nowhere-with-no-city-lights-or-other-illumination dark. I don’t even think
there’s supposed to be much if any moon tonight. Even if there was, I doubt it could penetrate the
canopy of trees above us.
The trees thin a bit up ahead and off to the left I see what looks like a very dense clump of trees
and underbrush. But as we get closer, I realize that it’s actually some kind of rock formation.
“Wait a minute...” I tell Donna as we stop to study it. What I see gives me a glimmer of hope.
Although it’s not as big as I’d like, I think it may be large enough to have some sort of a cave or
even an outcropping that we can use for shelter. “...this looks promising.”
Since I’ll only be a few feet from Donna and figuring she could use a rest, I let go of her hand and
walk over to the rocks...well, boulders actually. I’m disappointed to find that there is no outcropping
and really nothing I’d call a cave. The best thing I can find is a kind of gap between two of the
larger rocks that goes back about five feet and can best be described as a hole. At the widest
point, it only about three feet across and it’s only about four feet high so we couldn’t even stand
up in it and it doesn’t go back far enough for us to lay down. We’d have to crawl into it and then sit
and wait. In any case, it will definitely be a tight squeeze for both of us to fit.
On the other hand, we’re going to need to be close to each other anyway to keep warm and I’m
more than ready to hold Donna close for a while so I can convince myself I’m not having another
nightmare like the one on the plane and she’s really back in my arms again.
Then I have what I think is a pure stroke of genius. Back the way we came where the brush and
the trees were thicker, I saw some low bushes and even some fallen tree limbs. I’ll just bet the
entrance...such as it is...to our new little shelter is small enough that I could pull some of those
branches in front of it and hide it very effectively. Especially in the dark, you’d probably be able to
walk right past it and never know that anyone was there.
Yes! Plan A is finally taking shape!
“Okay, Donna, I’ve got an idea,” I begin excitedly as I turn back to her. “We just need too...
Donna?”
She’s giving me the oddest look, as if she’s trying really hard to understand something and not
having much luck. She starts to sway slightly and before I can even take a step toward her, she
collapses to the ground with an ugly thud.
“DONNA!” I yell, running over to her.
Kneeling beside her, I try to keep her weight on my good arm as I cradle her against me.
“Come on, Donna!” I beg her. “Don’t do this to me now.”
Her eyes remain stubbornly closed and her features lax. Although I’m about as far from a doctor
as anyone can get, I do the only thing I can think of. I gingerly touch her bruised neck and check
for her pulse. My own heart starts beating again when I manage to find it. It’s beating strongly, but
I think it’s a little fast. Of course I have no idea if that’s bad or good. What I’m hoping is that she’s
just fainted from exhaustion.
“Donna...” I try again as I shake her a bit. Getting no response, I try and lightly pat her cheeks.
Finally, I see her begin to stir and she lets out a little whimper and she weakly tries to pull away
from me.
“No...don’t...please Jack, don’t hit me anymore,” she murmurs in a broken voice that all but rips
the heart from my chest. For a moment, my rage over what’s happened to her makes me seriously
want to rethink my decision not to shoot Reese when I had the chance.
Knowing I need to focus my energy on taking care of her instead of being angry, I do my best to
shove down those thoughts.
“Donna,” I say gently. “It’s me, it’s Josh. No one’s going to hurt you anymore, I promise.” This time I
rub my knuckles lightly over her cheek to try and coax her awake. “But I need you to open your
eyes and look at me.”
“Josh...?” she murmurs and this time her eyes slowly flutter open.
“Yeah, it’s me,” I say trying to give her a smile. “Welcome back.”
“What...happened?”
Her eyes haven’t opened all that far and her voice is groggy, but right now I’m going to take what I
can get. “I think you passed out.”
She appears to try and process that idea. “I’m so tired...” she murmurs and it looks like her eyes
are threatening to close again.
“No, don’t close your eyes,” I tell her. “I know you’re tired and we’re going to have a chance to rest
but I need you to stay with me.”
She blinks and seems to try and focus harder. “Okay,” she says in a voice that’s a little steadier.
“Good, now if we go slow and I help you do you think you can move to that rock over there?”
“I’ll try,” she says.
My Donna’s got game, that’s for sure. “That’s all I ask.”
Somehow, together, we manage to get her up but she’s leaning on me heavily. Fortunately, once
she’s up we make it over to the rock without too much trouble and I ease her down next to the
opening of our temporary hiding place.
“Okay, you stay there and I’ll be right back...”
Her hand locks onto my arm with surprising strength. If I wasn’t wearing a long sleeve sweatshirt, I’
m pretty sure I’d have her nail marks on my wrist right now.
“No, Josh. Please don’t leave me,” she pleads. Tears swim in her eyes and it’s all I can do not to
instantly give her what she wants. I can’t take it when she cries.
I kneel down beside her and wipe away the tear sliding down her cheek. “I’m not leaving you. I just
need to get some branches to cover us up,” I explain and try to reassure her. “I’m not going far,
just right over there. You’ll be able to see me the whole time. Okay?”
She looks a little dubious and a whole lot scared, but slowly she nods.
“Good, but I need you to do something for me while I’m getting the branches.”
“What?”
“I need you to stay awake.” I hope that giving her something to focus on will help her stay
conscious. “You’re going to need to be the lookout so no one sneaks up on us.”
I see her straighten her shoulders a bit and it makes more proud of her than I can say. “I’ll be fine...
no one will get past me,” she promises.
I can’t help but run my hand over her hair and I kiss her lightly on the forehead. “I’ll be right back.”
With that, I hurry over to the branches and bushes I saw earlier and I manage to find a few that
are already broken off that should work. I drag them over to the entrance and true to her word, I
see Donna sitting where I left her, still awake and alternating between watching me and scanning
the area around us.
When I assemble the foliage I’ve dragged over there, I see that I still don’t have quite enough to
cover the whole entrance so I look around for some more that I can use. I don’t see anymore
foliage that’s already loose so I assess everything else. At first glance, the bushes growing out of
the ground would be the easier than the tree limbs overhead, but they’re covered in rather large
ugly thorns and even when I manage to find a good handhold on one, I find it’s surprisingly well
rooted. What I wouldn’t give for a pocket knife right now. But in the absence of one, I guess I’m
going to have to improvise.
Going to option number two, I jump up and grab a small but leafy low hanging branch and pull. A
jolt of pain goes through my injured arm, but I force myself to ignore it. The limb I’m working on is
somewhat green so it’s pretty flexible, but after a few hard tugs, it comes loose. From the euphoria
I feel, you’d think I just scaled Mount Everest or you know, gave Mary Marsh a good thrashing on
Capitol Beat, but I try to channel that energy into working fast to beat the failing light. I follow the
same procedure with two more branches and I manage to come up all the foliage I should need.
Of course by the time I’m done, my arm is also throbbing with a vengeance.
Dragging my trophies back over to the ‘cave’ I kneel down by Donna again. “How you doin’?”
The light is nearly gone, but I can see her give me a weak smile. “Still here.”
I can’t help but grin back at her. “I never had any doubt. Now, do you think you can crawl into that
hole for me?”
She glances over at our new home and then back at me. “Well, it wouldn’t be my first choice, but I
think I can do it.”
“Go ahead, once you’re in I’ll follow you.”
I wait until she’s settled, then I hand her the backpack and except for a small opening I left for me
to use to crawl in with her, I start arranging the bushes and branches in front of the hole. By the
time I’m done, the light has all but vanished so I can’t really survey how it looks. I only hope that I’
ve done a good job with all the camouflage.
Gripping the last branch in my hand, I get down on my hands and knees and carefully crawl
backwards through the opening. Somehow I manage not to kick Donna in the process and I plug
the opening with the branch. Despite the near pitch darkness we now find ourselves in, with some
direction from Donna and a little careful squirming and maneuvering we manage to just fit in the
tiny space. Luckily, it’s a little wider at ground level so while it’s a tight fit we can sit side by side.
Our shoulders don’t have the same luxury though which is okay with me anyway because I plan on
keeping my arms around Donna with her pulled tight against me.
Going mostly by feel, I pull the gun and the blanket out of the backpack. Handing Donna the
blanket to hold for a moment, I put the gun down between my leg and the rock wall next to me so I
can get to it quickly if I need to. Since there’s only the medication contraption left in the backpack
it doesn’t make much of a pillow but I put it carefully behind us to provide at least a modicum of
protection against the cold rock at our backs.
“Okay, Donna, now put your arms…” I feel her arms go around me like steel bands and I can help
but chuckle a little bit. “…around me.”
Taking the blanket from her lap, I spread it out over us. I pull it up to our necks which means our
feet are going to stick out a little, but I figure it’s more important for the rest of us to be warm than
our feet. It’s not like it’s going to be freezing tonight anyway, cool maybe but not enough to give
our feet frostbite or anything.
I make sure to wrap one side of the blanket around behind Donna, then I pull my hands
underneath it and manage to tuck the other side of it behind my shoulder. Then I finally get to do
what I’ve been waiting to do all day...put my arms around Donna. As I do, I feel her body relax
against me and with a sigh she rests her head against my neck and I rest my cheek on the top of
her head. In some ways our position is very uncomfortable, physically anyway, but in other ways,
ways which are much more important to me right now, it is the most natural, comfortable feeling in
the world. Having Donna safe in my arms will do that.
We sit there for a few moments and the sound of our mixed breathing is surprisingly loud. But as
we calm down a bit, the sound softens until it begins to mix with the background noise of the
natural sounds in the woods.
For some reason it occurs to me then that it’s quiet and dark and we suddenly have nothing to do
but sit here for the foreseeable future. After being in survival mode all day and running in one way
or another, the sudden stillness is a little eerie. I have to resist the urge to say something along
the lines of “well, now what do we do?”
Given the knock to the head she took in the car, I do, however, think it would be a good idea for
me to do what I can to keep Donna from falling asleep or passing out again. I guess we’ll have to
do what we always do...talk. Unfortunately, this time I don’t think our conversation is going consist
of the light banter that we seem to be so fond of.
“Donna?” I begin tentatively.
It takes her a minute and she still sounds tired but she finally answers. “Yes?”
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay,” she says vaguely.
“Okay, try again,” I coax her. “How are you REALLY feeling?”
She sighs again. “I don't know. Weird. Before...when we were running, it was like my body was
asleep. I didn’t feel anything. But now it’s beginning to wake up and just about everything hurts.”
“I’m not holding you too tight, am I?” I say trying to loosen my arms around her. “I don’t want to
hurt you.” Her response is immediate and she tightens her arms around me.
“You’re not hurting me. In fact I want you hold me tighter.”
Her words send a warm shot right to my heart and I gladly tighten my hold on her even if it does
send another jolt of pain through my arm. We lapse into another silence. Usually Donna’s the one
that draws me out when we’re in a tense situation, but I guess the shoe’s on the other foot this
time.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to get to you.” I tell her quietly.
“Don’t do that,” she says with surprising vehemence.
I blink into the dark. “Do what?”
“Blame yourself.”
Wow, does she know me or what? “I just meant…”
“No, it’s not your fault, Josh,” she tells me. “You came for me, that’s what matters. I knew you’d
come.”
Her faith in me humbles me beyond measure. “All I could think of when he called was getting to
you.”
“He made me tell him how to call you on the plane. I didn’t want to,” she adds. “But he said I could
talk to you if I did. I thought…maybe it would be better for you if I could let you know I was all right.”
“I figured it was something like that,” I tell her.
We go quiet again and the next topic I want to bring up is sure to be a sensitive one and one that I
would usually try to avoid altogether, but I think it might do Donna some good to talk about it.
“Donna...” I try to begin. “Do you want to talk about what happened? What Jack...”
“No,” she says flatly.
“You might feel better if you did.”
“No, I won’t,” she replies as she pulls closer to me. “I’ll feel worse. I don’t want to think about it.”
“Okay,” I say, letting it go...for now.
I’ve had enough therapy in my life to know that she’s going to have to think about it and talk about
it at some point...with someone and I make a mental note to call Stanley when we get out of this.
Donna already knows him and he’s good at getting people to talk about stuff they don’t want to
talk about.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed that she won’t confide in me about what happened. I feel
like I need to know what happened to her if I’m going to be able to help her deal with it.
Then again, I just hope ‘I’ can deal with it. As if my rage doesn’t already consume me enough
when I think of him hitting her and putting those bruises on her, it will be nothing compared to what
I'll feel if I find out that did more than just hit her. I'm not blind, I saw how ripped her blouse is. If he
put his hands on her to…to force her to…well, he better hope he’s dead because if he’s not I’m
going to make it my personal mission in life to make sure his is a living hell.
On the other hand, I would never blame Donna for anything that happened while that bastard was
holding her captive. It wouldn’t be her fault. With her, I can accept anything. It occurs to me that
she may need to hear that. Even if she won’t or can’t tell me what happened right now, I’m going to
do what I can to reassure her.
Absently, I run my hand over her back. “Donna, you know nothing that happened…nothing that he
did to you while you were with him would matter to me, right?” I tell her quietly. “Nothing would
make me stop loving you.”
I feel her press her face against my neck, then there’s a rush of dampness on my skin and
although she’s quiet and still in my arms, I realize she’s crying.
“Hey...hey,” I say, rocking her gently. “I didn’t mean to make you cry...I just wanted to let you know
how I feel...that it’s okay.”
She clings to me for a bit, then slowly I feel her pull back a little. It’s so dark I can’t tell for sure, but
I sense she’s looking up at me.
“He didn’t...” she sniffs softly and I can hear the tears in her voice. “Not what you’re thinking. He
just hit me...he liked to hit me.”
I hate that I’m relieved he ONLY beat her. I should have done more to see to it that he never laid a
finger on her in the first place. She deserves long, soft kisses and being made love to slowly on
rainy afternoons...or any afternoon for that matter.
My hand finds her damp cheek in the dark. “Was it like that before...when you dated him and you
didn’t tell me?”
I feel her shake her head and she pulls my hand off her face and grips it hard. “No, Josh, you
have to believe me. Back then, it was nothing like that. The man who kidnapped me and the man I
knew before were two different people.” Keeping our clasped hands tucked between our bodies,
she lays her head back down and I feel her shiver slightly. “This time he was so angry...I tried to
talk to him...to reason with him, but he didn't want to hear anything I had to say. He blamed us for
losing his career...or in his mind for losing everything. I really think he would have killed us, Josh.”
"Well, that's behind us now." I say giving her hand a squeeze. "He's not going to hurt you ever
again."
"I hope you're right," she says quietly...almost absently. "Maybe it would have been better if I'd just
taken the gun away from you back at the car and made sure."
Her words hit me with an almost physical punch. Again, I know shock and exhaustion are affecting
her words...her judgment, but it's so unlike her. She's one of the gentlest, most caring people I
know. I see now that not all her wounds from this are going to be physical. I will definitely need to
call Stanley.
"Don't talk like that, Donna."
Her hold tightens on me. "I just don't want him to hurt you ever again either."
I kiss the top of her head. "As long as you're safe, there's nothing he can do to hurt me." Quiet
falls between us again and for moment, we're left with only the sound of the forest.
"Maybe we should try to get some sleep." Donna suggests. "I really am tired."
"Normally, I would agree with you," I tell her. "But with that bump on the head, I'm not sure you
should go to sleep."
"Great, I've had the most exhausting day of my life and I can't even go to sleep," she comments
sleepily. "Sounds like the plot for some bad sitcom episode." She sighs. "Talk to me, Josh, tell me
a story."
I can't help but smile. Tired as she is, when she asks the question she sounds like a little girl.
Maybe our little girl. The thought sends an odd warmth through my chest.
"What kind of a story?" I ask her.
"Any story. I don't care. I just want to hear your voice." She tells me. "You're not the only one who
likes to hear the sound of your voice." She adds with the hint of a smile in her own voice. "Tell me
something from your childhood. Something I haven't heard before."
"From my childhood? Nah, that's all boring stuff. How about..."
"Please..." she said quietly.
Yeah, like I can deny her anything when she asks like that. "Okay...something from my childhood.
Let's see..."
I search my memory for an interesting story from my childhood that I haven't already told her. No
easy feat given how well she knows me. Then my mind latches onto something, oddly enough it's
a story about me and Joanie.
"When I was growing up, we spent a few weeks every summer at this lake in the Adirondack
Mountain in New York. We stayed in a cabin right on the lake. There were a few other families we
knew that would go at the same time so there were always a large group of kids to play with and
the adults used to play cards and have these big barbecues."
"Sounds nice."
"It was nice. Anyway, the summer before Joanie..." My chest gets tight and my throat closes and it
takes a moment for me to continue. "...the last summer we were there...I was nine and she was
fourteen. She was always very athletic, graceful...me, I was a total klutz. In fact, the first year we
were there, I nearly drown in the lake, but she saved me. Of course, it left me scared of the water
and even after all those other summers we'd been there I'd never learned to swim. So when the
other kids, including Joanie, would be swimming in the lake and jumping off the dock into the
deeper part of the lake, I always stayed in the shallows or on the shore."
I have to take a breath before I continue. I'm a little surprised how hard it is to tell her what I
thought would be a simple story.
Donna must sense it because she gives my hand a squeeze. "Go ahead, Josh."
"Uh, yeah...well, that last summer she announced to me that she was going to teach me how to
swim. I protested, but she insisted. So every morning before most of the other kids were out, we'd
go down to the lake. She taught me how to float and how to tread water and the other basics of
swimming. But I would never let her take me out too far. I had to still be able to touch my toes on
the bottom. She would tease me and taunt me to try and get me to go out deeper and I never
would."
"What happened then?" Donna asks me.
"A few days before we were supposed to go home, I got up and went outside for our swimming
lesson. I found her at the end of the dock which was odd because up until then she either waited
for me on the shore or we left the house together. I walked out there and asked her if we were
going to have our lesson. She said no. She said that she'd taught me everything I needed to
know. But, she said, she did have one piece of advice for me."
"And what was her advice?"
"She said, Josh...she was very theatrical my sister, not to mention a know-it-all...Josh, you can't
always play it safe, sometimes you just have to be brave and take a chance."
Donna waited a beat. "And that's it?"
"No, and then she pushed me into the lake."
"What?" Donna says, clearly surprised.
I can't help but chuckle. "Yep, she gave me a shove and I fell in the water."
"She did?! Oh my God, did she jump in after you?"
"Nope, she didn't need to. I came up sputtering and spitting mad...and treading water."
"You were?"
"Yeah, I yelled at her and asked her why she'd pushed me in. She just grinned at me and said she
was teaching me to swim. See, I was too busy being mad at her to realize that I couldn't touch
bottom. Once I stopped worrying about doing the easy thing, the safe thing, I was fine. From then
on I never had a problem swimming." I pause and stare into the darkness. "As it turned out she
was teaching me a hell of a lot more than how to swim."
I feel Donna snuggle against me. "I think I would have liked her."
"Actually you remind me of her."
Donna laughs softly. "What...I'm theatrical and a know-it-all?"
I rub my cheek against the top of her head. "No, you're fearless and funny and smart and not
afraid to tell me the truth...or you know, push me in the water."
I expect her to make some flippant remark. What I don't expect is the feeling of her lips searching
along my jaw until they find my mouth. Not that I'm complaining mind you. Just the opposite. After
the day she's had, to have her kiss me like this is a miracle.
The kiss goes from sweet, to hungry to desperate in a heart beat and her hands find their way into
my hair. I know that things can't and won't go beyond this tonight, but God it feels good. Kissing
like this makes us remember why we're alive. The kiss goes on like that for a long time until we're
both breathless and Donna is trembling slightly as snuggles up against me again.
"So does that mean...you...liked my story?" I say a little breathlessly.
"I loved your story," she says in a voice thick with emotion. "I know you don't talk about Joanie very
often, so thank you for sharing it with me."
I tighten my arms around her again. "Okay, well, now it's your turn."
"My turn to what?" she asks.
"To tell me a story about when you were growing up that I haven't heard before." I tell her. "I like
hearing the sound of your voice too."
"There's not much to tell," she insists. "It was pretty basic stuff."
"Oh, come on now," I coax. "There must be something. Now let me guess...hmmm, you in high
school." I try to bring up an image of her in my mind at that age. "Wait, I know...you were a
cheerleader right? A tall, blond, cheerleader and you probably had the entire football team
tripping over themselves to ask you out, right?"
She gives a little chuckle. "Wow, you couldn't be more wrong. I was too uncoordinated to be a
cheerleader. I was tall but it was all arms and gangly legs and for most of the time in high school I
was taller than all the boys in my class and if anyone on the football team tripped, it was because
they tripped over me when I didn't get out of their way fast enough. If you'd been there, you
wouldn't have looked twice at me."
"I don't believe that for a second." I tell her truthfully.
"I wasn't exactly what you'd call popular," she continues. "I got good grades and hung out with the
drama kids and the band geeks. Actually I WAS a band geek."
I never thought about her playing an instrument. "YOU were in band?"
"Oh, yeah. I was even in 'marching' band."
This is a whole new side of her. I can see her now in some starched white band uniform with piping
on the shoulder and a funny little hat on her head. The image is really quite adorable. "What
instrument did you play?"
"The flute...I was a flautist."
I can't help but chuckle. "Wait...you were a...what?"
"A flautist, Josh. Someone who plays the flute."
"Is that a real word or is that a made up Donna word?"
"It's a real word!" she says pinching my ribs lightly, but she laughs softly which lets me know she
doesn't mind the teasing.
"Okay, okay, no need to get physical, I believe you," I say with a laugh.
She settles against me again. "Just because you were probably student body president and
adored by all the teenage girls...you know, just like now."
Any woman who can tease me after the day she's had deserves some kind of an award. "Hey, not
all my Lemon-Lyman fans are teenage girls," I protest.
She lets out a snort. "No, only a majority."
She knows she's got me over a barrel there so I move on. "Well, I'll have you know, I was not
student body president, in fact I never ran for or held a student body council office. I was more the
annoying guy who was on the debate team, argued with the teachers and got detention a lot, but
still got straight A’s and ruined the curve for everyone. I wasn't what you would call popular either.
I don't think most of the kids knew what to make of me."
"So pretty much like now, then?"
I have to laugh. She has a point. "Yeah, I suppose so. "I guess it's a good thing that you're so in
tune with me or I'd be in trouble, wouldn't I?"
"And don't you forget it," She says rubbing her cheek against me.
We continue to talk, swapping stories, including the details of my trip to Mexico, and sharing
thoughts on a wide range of other things, but it isn’t long before injuries and exhaustion take her
into sleep. It’s pitch dark but I continue to stare outside our hiding spot just in case. I'd gotten
pretty accustomed to what sounds the woods made and the sound I hear now is definitely new.
If I'm not mistaken, it's the sound of footsteps. I gently rouse Donna, careful to keep my hand in
front of her mouth so she doesn’t cry out.
"Did you hear that?" she whispers as I pull my hand away and her hold on me tightens.
"Yeah, I think someone's coming this way."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
15.
I wake up from a troubled sleep to find Josh holding his hand lightly over my mouth. As if that
alone isn’t enough to send me into a panic, I immediately hear a noise that sends my blood
pressure even higher; footsteps.
"Did you hear that?" I whisper as he pulls his hand away from my mouth and my hold on him
tightens.
"Yeah, I think someone's coming this way." He replies.
As soon as he speaks the footsteps stop. I think my heart does too. I can feel Josh slowly move his
hand, the one holding the gun, across his body and transfer it to his right hand. Not that it’s going
to matter which hand he holds it in. He’s never fired a gun; I know that to be fact, but if it’s at point
blank range even Josh…
“Agent Casper!” We hear a whisper shout and my heart starts beating again. “Wait for the team.”
“The hell with that.” Mike mutters.
“Mike!” Josh answers softly but it’s enough for Mike to zero in on our location. Within seconds,
Mike clears away the brush Josh had used to hide us and a flashlight blinds us.
“God, am I glad to see you two.” Mike heaves a sigh of relief. He turns the light away from our
eyes and hunkers down in front of us. “Are you two okay? Are you hurt?”
“Jack! He was by the c-c-car.” I blurt out. “Did you f-f-find him?” I can’t control my stuttering or the
way my body is shaking.
“Easy, Donna. Let’s take care of you two for the moment.” He touches my hand gently and turns to
face the rest of the group that’s assembled behind him. “Who’ve we got on medical detail?”
“Adams, sir.” Someone replies and a young man hurries forward. “Where are you hurt?” He asks
me but I just shake my head. I can’t answer. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I can feel myself
shrink closer to Josh.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
“I did something to my left arm and shoulder. It’s not broken but it hurts like hell.” I fill in when it
becomes apparent Donna is unable to. “Donna’s got a head wound and a lot of cuts and bruises.
She did something to her leg or hip too.”
“Donna? I’m Agent Greg Adams. Can you take my hand so I can help you out of there and take a
look at your head? It looks like it might be bleeding.” Donna doesn’t move a muscle. I edge out of
my spot, still holding on to her hand with one hand and the gun with the other. That’s when Mike
grabs it from me.
“Why don’t I hold the weapon?” He suggests.
“I’ve been holding the weapon just fine, thank you.” I snap.
“Yeah? Was that an example of your skilled driving back there?” He asks.
“As a matter of fact it was.”
“Then I’m just going to hang on to the weapon until we know if your weapon handling skills are any
better than your defensive driving skills.” Mike quips.
“I crashed us on purpose!” I shout.
“Well, well done!” He shouts back.
“Uh…sir? We should keep our voices down.” Adams reminds us and I turn back to Donna who is
shaking like a leaf.
“Come here, baby. Let me help you out.” I cajole her. She uses my arm to leverage herself out of
our hole, but she winces in pain at every movement. Adams does a cursory inspection while
Donna is safe within my arms.
He pulls out a syringe and Donna nearly comes out of her skin while she screams. Everyone
startles.
“Donna, it’s okay.” I murmur but she just keeps shaking her head ‘no’.
“Donna, this is just a pain reliever. It won’t knock you out. Josh here is going to hold you the whole
time, okay?” Adams tries to reassure her but she has lost it. I can see it in her eyes.
“Maybe it would be better if it did.” I suggest quietly.
But Adams shakes off that suggestion. “Not with a head wound. Not until we can get a scan and
determine she’s got no internal skull damage.” He puts his hand on Donna’s arm like he’s calming
a skittish horse. “It’s okay. You’re safe now. Your body has to be hurting all over. Let me give you
some medicine to help with the pain.”
The wait is interminable, but she finally nods her agreement. She does, however, turn her head
into my chest so she doesn’t have to watch when Adams gives her the injection. I can feel her
body relax the instant the medicine enters her body.
“You’re next.” He tells me and I roll my eyes.
“I’m fine. I don’t need anything.” I assure him.
“A minute ago you said your arm hurt like hell.” Adams points out. And to think I was just starting to
like this guy.
“I was exaggerating.” I reply quickly when he comes at me with the needle. “I exaggerate all the
time. Ask Mike here, he’ll tell you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Mike shrugs. I’m gonna kill him. “He’s positively stoic when
it comes to pain. If he said it hurts like hell it must be really bad.”
“You’re a dead man.” I shoot back, but Donna pulls on my good arm.
“Josh. You’re hurting too. Let him give you the medicine.” She tells me so I immediately nod to
Adams who injects the drug quickly and efficiently. She’s right, as usual. I do feel better.
“Let’s get you both into the vehicle. I’m afraid it’s going to be a bit of a rocky ride, but…” Mike trails
off when Adams holds his hand up in protest.
“I don’t know that that’s a good idea.” Adams stops us. “I think we should wait for air rescue.”
“I don’t think waiting for air rescue is a good idea.” Mike counters and I pick up some tension
between them.
“I understand your reasoning, sir, but please understand mine.” He meets Mike’s eyes. “Miss Moss
has considerable injuries at least one of which is a bleeding head wound. We can have an air
ambulance here in under 20 minutes.”
“Twenty…Adams!” Mike exclaims.
“In the meantime, we get these two in the vehicle, warm and safe. If we’re unable to wait for air
rescue, we take off in the vehicle.” Adams finishes and I can see Mike considering the plan.
“Wait a second! Why wouldn’t we be able to wait for the chopper?” I ask.
Mike and Adams exchange looks again. “If the injuries appear…” Adams begins.
“Bullshit.” I interrupt. “Why Mike?!” I demand and see Donna’s eyes go wide at my tone. “Son of s
bitch. You don’t have him do you?”
“Josh…” Mike tries to calm me but I’m afraid that ship has sailed.
“Jack?” Donna screeches. “You don’t have Jack in custody?!”
“Into the vehicle you two.” Mike orders.
“No.” I refuse.
“Josh, I’m not fooling around. Get your ass in the damn car!” Mike raises his voice too and for a
moment we’re nose to nose in the dark night. “Now!”
I turn abruptly and almost upend poor Donna, but I follow his team to the vehicle. I have to nearly
carry her the 100 feet or so to where a van is pulling up to meet us. He was out cold! How the hell
could he escape?
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
No, no, no, no….This can’t be happening. He was hurt and pumped full of drugs. It can’t be true. I
must be dreaming again. That’s it. It’s a dream. A very bad dream; a nightmare.
“Donna?” Josh turns my body gently towards him.
“I just want to wake up.” I whisper and see his face fall. I didn’t mean to make Josh sad.
“We need to go…now.” Josh tells Mike who looks at Adams and then back at Josh.
“We’re going to give it a few minutes.” Mike sighs. “JUST a few minutes.”
“Where’s Ron?” Josh asks.
“He’s leading the other team.” Mike shares quietly.
The other team. The team that’s going to find Jack and kill him. Ron is very good. I’m sure Ron will
shoot Jack. Then we’ll be fine. Then we’ll be safe.
“How about we do something constructive with our time while we wait?” Mike asks. “Tell us about
what happened at the crash site.”
“I realized he was taking us somewhere to…kill us.” Josh sends me a cautious look. “Since Donna
and I were buckled in and he wasn’t, I decided to try and crash us so we’d walk away and he
wouldn’t.”
“That was smart, Josh, very smart.” Mike tells him. “What happened after you hit the tree?”
“He…uh…was unconscious but I felt a pulse. I got Donna out of the car and I took the gun out of
his hand and this…thing he had to drug to Donna.” He produces the evil device and hands it over
to Mike who hands it to Adams. Adams looks it over for a few seconds.
“It’s empty.” He announces. “We’ll test it to see what he was using.”
“I dosed him with it.” Josh admits.
“How many times did you depress the trigger?” Adams asks.
“Once.” Josh replies.
“Did he use this on you at all Donna?” He asks me softly.
I nod. “Once. It knocked me out…I don’t know for how long.”
“Maybe it was already empty when you injected him.” Adams speculates.
“Talk us through what you did next, Josh.” Mike requests
“God, Mike…” he pauses. “I…I opened the trunk. I took out his backpack and his suitcase and
rifled through them to see what we might be able to use. We took some clothes and a blanket.”
“What else was in there?” Mike presses. “It’s important.”
“I don’t…” Josh looks at me again not wanting, I think, to describe the contents of the trunk to Mike
in front of me so I do.
“There was gasoline, rope, a shovel and garbage bags.” I choke out. “He had a suitcase too.
There were clothes, hair dye, and a manila folder in the suitcase.” Josh turns a surprised look at
me. “I notice things.”
“I guess.” He replies and squeezes my hand. “Even if he wasn’t drugged from that contraption,
how far could he get? He was hurt; hurt pretty badly.”
“He’s trained Navy. They’re taught all kinds of survival tricks.” Mike shrugs. “And though you and
Donna didn’t know where the hell you were or where you were going, Jack presumably did and
there’s a major highway 2 miles East of where you crashed.”
“So he what? Just hitched a ride and escaped?” Josh’s voice is getting loud again.
“For now, I’m comfortable with that and you should be too.” Mike warns him. “If he went East, as it
appears he did, then he moved in the opposite direction you two took. Our biggest fear was that
he’d get to you before we could. We had some trouble with the GPS signal for a bit and that
delayed our appearance here tonight. What happened next, Josh?”
“Nothing.” Josh replies. “We started walking…slowly…until we found this hole in the wall.” He
chuckles at his own phrasing. “I hid Donna inside until I could get some branches to cover the
opening and hide us a bit from anyone walking by.”
“Not bad for a white collar worker, Joshua.” Mike gives him credit. “Anything else you remember?”
“No.” Josh answers simply. “Not until you guys showed up.”
“How about you Donna? What do you remember?” Mike asks, touching my hand in an attempt to
get me to look at him. It doesn’t work.
“I asked Josh to kill him. That’s what I remember.” I tell him dully.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
I’m seriously worried about both my friends, but since Josh is here with me, and Donna is still in
her MRI scan I can focus my attention on Josh. He was wrong about his arm, by the way; hairline
fracture. They’ve set it, put a cast on it, and he’s got it in a sling, but he won’t take any more pain
medication until Donna is done with her MRI. The attending physician gave me a brief summary of
her injuries. They were extensive; pulled ligaments in her hip, bruises, lacerations, and at the very
least, a concussion. I understand why Josh is concerned but he doesn’t seem to grasp the
concept that his pacing is in no way helpful to Donna.
“Will you please sit down?” I ask again.
“If I sit down, I might fall asleep.” He replies as he casts another glance at the agents surrounding
the waiting room.
“That is NOT necessarily a bad thing. I swear I will wake you the very second they wheel her back
out.”
“No thanks.”
“Josh…she’s safe. You’re both safe now. You don’t need to stand guard over her.”
“That’s what they said when they sent me to Mexico.” He scoffs. “Neither one of us is safe with that
lunatic on the run.”
“He’s unarmed and wounded. He won’t get far.” I promise but he just continues to pace as Leo
McGarry comes barreling down the hallway.
“Are you a sight for sore eyes!” He carefully hugs Josh and then looks him over carefully. “What,
are you bucking for a job with this one now?” He asks, jerking a thumb over at me.
“No way.” Josh shakes his head.
“The President sends his prayers for both of you.” Leo adds. “He wanted to come down here
himself, but under the circumstances…”
“Right.” Josh agrees.
“What have you found out about Donna?” He asks.
Josh shrugs and I end up giving the Chief of Staff a run down on what we know so far. Leo looks
grim at the news. “They’ve got the best doctors in the country here.” He notes but it falls on deaf
ears with Josh.
The attending steps out in to the hall and Josh pounces. “Where’s Donna?”
“She’ll be out in a minute, Mr. Lyman.” He assures Josh. “Let’s sit down a minute.”
“Just…tell me.” Josh insists even as the doctor lowers him into a nearby chair and Leo hovers
nearby. Leo has this ability to blend in to the point where you almost don’t notice he’s there until
he speaks up.
“Donna has a linear skill fracture.” He tells us point blank and Josh pales. “This is actually good
news, relatively speaking. There is no intracranial bleeding, the blood is flowing normally through
both hemispheres of her brain, and she doesn’t appear to have any cognitive function loss.”
“Okay.” Josh replies woodenly.
“However, I understand she lost consciousness?”
“Yes.” Josh nods.
“And experienced some dizziness?”
“Yes, but she’s been through an awful lot couldn’t it be a result of…”
“Of course.” The doctor interrupts him. “She’s been through significant trauma and that can lead
to all kinds of symptoms, but brain injuries can also present that way, so we’re going to want to
keep her here for the next 24 hours for observation. If nothing pops by then we’ll release her and
send her home.”
“Pops?” Josh repeats.
“I mean, if she’s asymptomatic at that time.” The doctor amends his statement. ““We also ran a tox
screen and identified the drug the perpetrator used to subdue her. It’s a fast acting agent but it’s
effects dissipate fairly quickly. She may have some shakiness and nervous systems side effects
while her body flushes out the drug but we’ll try to keep her medicated and comfortable for the
next few hours to negate that as much as possible. As for the trauma itself; we’re taking care of
the lacerations and the bruising, but I think it’s vitally important that Donna be connected to one of
our trauma specialists as soon as possible.”
“I’m already on it.” Josh tells him and the doctor just narrows his eyes. “Ever hear of Dr. Stanley
Keyworth?”
“ATVA?” The doctor confirms.
“Yeah…he’ll be here in the next 8 hours to see Donna.” Josh promises. “Can I see her now?”
“She’ll be out in just a minute.” The doctor repeats. “Then we’ll bring her up to her room and you
can stay there as long as you want…at least until she kicks you out.” He grins.
“Doctor…the skull fracture…”
“It’s a linear fracture which is the most common form of skull fracture and she’s showing no
adverse affects from it at present.”
“Right. Can someone get that from being hit by someone else?” Josh asks quietly.
“Not unless that someone is wielding a shovel.” The doctor explains. “Linear fractures are caused
when the skull hits something solid, like a wall.”
“Or…a car window?” He asks woodenly.
“Exactly like that.” The doctor agrees. “I’ll be stopping up to check in on her in a few hours. If you
need me before that, just have them page me.” He offers and leaves as quickly as he came.
“Josh…” I know where his brain is going and it’s not going someplace good. “You are not
responsible for her injuries.”
Josh whirls on me! “I drove her car into a tree at about 45 mph! *I* drove the…” Josh slams his
‘good’ hand into the wall. I can see his body shake with anger and fear. “I drove the car into the
tree causing her head to strike the window which gave her a linear skull fracture, Mike!” Josh’s
head pops up to meet mine. “It’s my fault.”
“Bullshit!” I shout. I have to ramp my end up and stamp it out immediately or I’ll never be able to
reel him back in. “You did the only thing you could to save her life! Save both of your lives…and it
worked!” I point out. “Would you feel better if she were lying in one of those garbage bags dead
but without the skull fracture?”
“Jesus, Mike!” He yells at me in horror at that thought.
“This is what I’m saying.” I grab his good arm to stop his motion. “You’re both alive and will recover
just fine from the bumps and bruises you got from this little adventure. And did it ever occur to you
that she may have sustained the fracture with Reese?”
“Id’ rather not think about that, frankly.” Josh says quietly.
“I don’t blame you, but it could have happened then. What I’m saying is that the last thing Donna
needs right now is you distancing yourself from her because you have some misplaced sense of
guilt. Got it?”
“Yeah.” He nods and Leo sends me an eyebrow raised look like, ‘Stanley isn’t going to JUST be
visiting Josh, right?’. I nod grimly in acknowledgment of his message.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
“No, no, no…” I shake my head and try to back up further in the hospital bed. This woman is NOT
giving me anything to make me sleep.
Agent Adams waves the nurse away from us. He’s hardly left my side since he found us in the
woods. “Okay…she’s leaving now.” He directs the nurse to the door with a jerk of his head. “It’s
really important for you to stay calm, Donna.”
“I’m better at staying calm when Josh is here.” I point out.
“He’ll be here any second.” Adams promises me. “They had to cast his arm and then he was
waiting for you to get done in the MRI. Everything looks good there; just a small linear fracture.”
“Just.” I scoff and finally understand the terrible pounding in my head. One hand involuntarily lifts
to massage my temples.
“Your head’s got to feel like it’s going to explode.” Adams says quietly as he turns down the lights
in the room. “Let me have the nurse give you something to help you sleep.”
“No.” I refuse again. Where the hell is Josh? Then the door bursts open and I see him. “You look
like hell.”
He smirks. “That’s what happens when I’m without you for awhile.” He crosses the room and takes
my hand. “They tell me your hard head survived our trip in the wilderness.”
“You broke your arm?” My voice breaks a little and tears spill down my face. I don’t know what’s
wrong with me. I can’t stop crying.
“Just a hairline thing.” He shrugs it off. He’s usually such a baby about things. Once he got a
paper cut on a file and he made me…well, anyway, he’s not usually this brave. He wipes the tears
off my face. “You look like you’re hurting again.”
“I’m okay.” I lie through my teeth.
“She needs some sleep but she won’t take the medication that will help her do that.” Adams tells
on me.
“Donna…” Josh moans.
“I can’t go to sleep, Josh. I just can’t.” I try to explain.
“Your body needs to rest or it can’t heal. I’ll stay right by your side the whole time.” He promises.
“Tell the nurse she’s ready, Greg?” Greg? Since when are these two on a first name basis?
“Thanks for staying with her.”
“My pleasure. You’ve got quite a protective guy here, Donna.” Adams teases. “We may look at
recruiting him from the west wing.” He tells me as he leaves us alone.
“I don’t want the meds Josh.” I repeat crying again.
“Let me tell you what I learned while they put a cast on my arm.” He nudges me over a bit and
sprawls out right next to me on the bed and carefully runs his fingers through my hair. “This lovely
nurse explained that when the body is trying to heal from something it needs to spend all its
energy on the healing part. If it has to divide its resources between healing and fighting pain, then
the healing takes much longer.”
“Lovely nurse?” I repeat the only part of the story that interests me.
“Very lovely…and my mother’s age.” He informs me. “She gave me these lovely Vicodin tablets
which I refused at the time because I was afraid they’d knock me out before I could see you. So,
here’s my deal. You take your meds, I take mine, and we both get some well deserved rest so our
bodies can heal a little better.”
“Miss Moss?” The nurse tentatively sticks her head in the room. “You’re ready for some pain meds
now?”
I don’t blame her for being cautious around me. It’s entirely possible what I was…unpleasant to her
earlier. So I keep my mouth shut now and simply nod. She smiles and walks over to inject some
medicine in my IV while Josh reaches over for the cup of water on the table next to the bed and
pops a couple pills. When the nurse leaves, I can see the agents posted at the door. They should
reassure me, and to an extent they do, but it’s Josh’s presence next to me that is the most
reassuring. I fall asleep within seconds and don’t have a single dream.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><>
16.
I swim up through my medicine induced haze to a feeling I have missed desperately the last few
days. Donna is curled against me with her head buried in my chest. She appears to be sleeping
pretty peacefully.
True, we haven’t been separated all that long, but the last 24 hours have been terrifying. I just feel
better being able to touch her. Well, the last few weeks have been terrifying and it seems they’re
not over yet.
I can’t believe the secret service doesn’t have Jack. How could he get out of the car and go
anywhere? I’m no expert, but I could have sworn there was something in that syringe. Maybe I
should have just shot him.
Donna stirs against me and opens her eyes then smiles lazily up at me. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
“How do you feel?”
“Like I’m trying to walk through a few feet of mud, you?” I might as well be honest.
“About the same.”
“How’s your thick head?”
“Feels a little better.”
“Good.” I nod.
“How long have you been awake?”
“I just woke up.”
“I’m sorry about yesterday.” She frowns a bit.
“You didn’t crack MY head, Donna. There’s nothing to be sorry about.”
“I know.” She chuckles a bit. “But I did go `round the bend on you there for a bit and with all that
was going on, that was the last thing you needed.”
“Donna, I have no idea what you went through.” I say quietly, brushing her hair back from her
face. “Half of me doesn’t want to know and the other half is consumed with wondering. But
whatever it was, I’d bet everything I had when I say you’re entitled to lose it a bit.”
“I’m not ready to talk about it yet.” She whispers.
“It’s okay.” I nod quickly. “But you have to know that Stanley’s on his way. He’s probably here now.
“I figured.”
“You’re the one who taught me you can’t handle it alone.”
“I guess it’s time to eat my words.”
“You’ll feel better.”
“I feel better now.” She says and cuddles down into my chest again.
“Me too.” I smile.
“What’s going to happen about Jack, Josh?” she asks the dreaded question. “What if he gets out
of the country and lays low for awhile only to come back stronger and deadlier than before?”
“He’s not going to get out of the country, Donna. They’ll be looking for him at the borders.”
“He could cross the border somewhere else. Like, he could run into the woods in upstate New
York or something and cross the border there. They’d never know.”
“If he runs into the woods in upstate New York, he’ll get lost in the Adirondacks.” I smile lightly at
her.
“You know what I mean!”
“Hardly ever.” I laugh at her pout. “Why doesn’t he just go to Northern Wisconsin? You can easily
get to Canada from there, I hear.”
“You’re going to snark me? NOW?!”
“Yes.” I reply and kiss her on the tip of her nose. “I don’t like that Jack’s out there any more than
you do, especially now that I have first hand knowledge of what he’s capable of and what his
ultimate goal is. But, Donna, now that we know that it’s Jack, everyone is going to be looking for
him; the President and Leo will make sure of it. He kidnapped and assaulted two federal
employees and murdered your detail, all of which are capital crimes. He’s not going to get over the
border; he’s injured, Donna, and I’m sure the hospitals are on alert.”
“You don’t think he’s at this one, do you?” she asks cautiously.
“I think we’d know by now if he was and the secret service and FBI are crawling all over the joint.” I
assure her.
“He got through the secret service, Josh.”
“He won’t get through me.” I promise. And he won’t. If he gets her again, it will literally be over my
dead body…which is a pretty good possibility now that I know what Jack is capable of…and that
that is his ultimate plan.
“It’s just endless.” She whispers.
“It’s not.” I insist. “It’s ending now; I can feel it.”
“Are you clairvoyant now?” she smiles at me.
“I have a sense about these things.”
“You have NO sense about these things.” She laughs.
“Okay no, I don’t. But it is giving me something to look forward to.”
“It’d be nice to have something to look forward to again.”
“How about a vacation?” I offer.
“I don’t think they’ll let us take a vacation now, Josh.”
“No, I’m sure they won’t, but once they have Jack, we’re outta here.”
“Where?”
“I remember you once pointing out that I’ve never taken you to Hawaii.”
“You have never taken me to Hawaii.”
“I think you’d look hot in a grass skirt.” I whisper and pull her earlobe into my mouth.
“Are you going to wear white pants and a Hawaiian shirt?”
“I’ll wear whatever you want.” I promise until I hear her chuckle. “Within reason!”
“You’re no fun.” She pouts.
Just as I kiss her, the door flies open and CJ and Toby come in. CJ storms over to the bed and
throws herself at us. “Oh my God!” she cries.
“Hey, hey, hey!” I quickly extricate her from Donna and CJ looks at me strangely. “She’s a little
banged up.” I say by way of explanation.
“Are you all right?” CJ asks Donna.
“Mostly.” Donna says quietly.
“I thought we were never going to see you two again.” CJ wipes away the tears from her eyes and I
stifle the urge to squirm. CJ is tough as nails. I don’t know what to do when she gets…girly.
“Well, if Jack has his way…” Donna trails off.
“What do you mean HAS?” Toby asks from his position where he’s hanging back a bit.
“They don’t have him.” I reply.
“I thought you crashed the car.” CJ says.
“I did.” I nod. “But when the secret service and FBI got there, he was gone.”
“They’ll catch him.” CJ nods confidently. “They get everyone.”
“Eventually.” Donna ends.
“I wouldn’t imagine he’s in any kind of shape to give you guys problems.” Toby says.
“If you were there, Toby, you wouldn’t imagine he was in any kind of shape to leave the car.”
“When do you get out of here?” CJ asks changing the subject.
“I’m not technically a patient anymore.” I reply. “Donna’s out of here later today as long as
everything checks out okay.”
“Listen, don’t blow your stack….” CJ begins.
“This is going someplace hilarious.” I reply. PLEASE tell me the next words out of her mouth aren’t
that the press knows about this.
“The First Lady has talked Ron Butterfield into letting you two convalesce in the Residence for
now.” CJ says with a cringe.
Oh God. It’s SO much worse than the press knowing!
“No way.” I say shaking my head.
“Ron Butterfield agreed.” CJ shrugs.
“Why!?” I yelp. “We’re security threats!”
“I guess given Donna’s injuries, they’d rather have her in a place they’re sure they won’t need to
move her from.” CJ replies. “Abbey’s mind is made up.”
“How can we not have a say in this?”
“Nobody has a say in their life when the secret service is calling the shots.” CJ says quietly.
“Yeah, well it doesn’t sound like they’re calling the shots; it sounds like Abbey is.” I shoot back.
“It’s all right, Josh.” Donna says quietly. “It’ll be a nice change to be somewhere I feel completely
safe in for once.”
You could knock me over with a feather right now. I was so concerned with the mind numbing
lectures from being a captive audience of the President that it hadn’t occurred to me yet that with
Jack still out there, Donna may feel vulnerable at my place.
“You realize he’s going to bore the shit out of us, right?” I say to her.
“You mean bore the shit out of YOU.” She counters. “I happen to find him fascinating and I don’t
know about you, but I want to be able to tell our kids that I was a personal guest of the President
of the United States.”
‘Our kids.’ I, of course, cave now.
“Well, you’ll have to make sure I stay awake then.”
“I think every now and then you need a gentle reminder that you’re standing in the middle of
history and I think upon occasion you should sit back and embrace it.”
“I think you hit your head harder than they thought you did.” I counter and she rolls her eyes, but
at least it looks like she’s temporarily sidetracked from the missing Jack…
…which doesn’t last long as the next person to enter the room is Mike. He comes in the room and
after taking stock of its occupants, I suppose decides to stay.
“You’ve got your serious face on.” I note and feel Donna stiffen next to me.
Mike looks from Donna to me back to Donna and then back to me. “It’s about Jack…”
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
17.
~Twelve hours earlier...~
Despite the fact it makes my head feel like it's going to shatter, I force my eyes open. What the
hell happened? And why the hell am I face down on the floor of a backseat?
Then I remember...the car...Lyman.
That rat bastard.
I can't believe he crashed the car. I never thought he'd do anything to endanger his precious
Donnatella. I underestimated him. I thought if he was out of his comfort zone and faced with a real
life and death situation without the Secret Service to hide behind, he'd fold like a cheap suit.
I see now know that I never should have given him control of the car. I should have tied them both
up and thrown them in the trunk until we got to our destination. Well, next time I won't make the
same mistake. To make matters worse, my gun and the pressure syringe are gone. They must
have taken them.
I really am going to kill Lyman...I mean I was going to before, but after I made him watch me kill
her, I was going to make it quick. Now, it's going to be slow and very painful. In fact I think I will kill
them BOTH in the most slow and painful ways I can think of.
I somehow manage to sit up. Oh, God...I can't decide what hurts worse, my head or my ribs. But
the wave of dizziness that goes through me makes me think it's my head.
Once the dizziness passes, I look around the car. Well, shit. I'm alone and it's dark out. That
means Lyman and that bitch are in the wind. I have no idea how long I've been out. They could be
anywhere by now.
Well, I've got to get moving. It won't be long before someone finds this car and when they do, the
Feds and the Secret Service won't be far behind. I'm sure Agent Casper took the plate number
down when he was in the car earlier.
Since it's clear that the car's not going anywhere anytime soon, I'm going to have to dig up
another car or hitchhike. This road is so isolated that I might have to walk a while before I can find
either one.
Dragging my ass out of the car I go around to the trunk which is standing open. Damn, I can see
that Lyman has already rifled through the contents. Some of my clothes, my backpack, and a
blanket are missing, but I'm relieved to see that the envelope is still inside the folder where I left it.
It contains my fake I.D.s and other documents as well as my emergency stash of traveling money.
Now, let's see if he found the other two things I stashed in the trunk. Lifting up the thin covering
over the spare tire, I can't help but grin.
There they are...my spare gun and extra ammunition.
Quickly, I slip both items in the front pocket of my suitcase and then set about repacking
everything, being sure to include anything I might need from what's left in the trunk.
Then, like a gift from the gods, a set of headlights comes up the road and a battered, ancient pick-
up truck pulls up next to the car. An equally ancient man climbs out of the cab and I come around
the car to speak to him.
"You okay, son?"
"Yeah, an animal ran out in front of my car and ran off the road and hit this stupid tree," I tell him
casually. It's a good story if I do say so myself.
"What brings you out here so late?"
Okay, already this guy is asking too many questions. I don't like questions. "I got turned around
and made a wrong turn on my way to the highway."
"The highway?" the old codger hoots. "You're hell and gone from the highway, son."
Somehow I manage to keep myself from burying my fist in this guys face. His chatter is making my
head throb with a renewed vengeance. "It's lucky for me that you came by then isn't it?" I reply
keeping my voice controlled.
"You can say that again," he responded. "Not too many people come out this way this time of year,
especially at night. This road only heads out to the lake and there's not much out there but some
old vacation cabins and they're closed until the summer. I was headed out to a secret fishing spot
for a little night fishing."
I could care less about fishing, old man. All I care about is the fact that I was going to use one of
those vacation cabins to rid myself of my two biggest enemies and now that's all shot to hell.
I keep my expression friendly. "I must be livin' right then, I guess."
"You want me to call the sheriff and a tow truck?"
Yeah, the sheriff, that's just what I need. "Actually I was hoping you'd be able to give me a ride into
town, maybe take me to a hospital or something so I can get checked out. I think I banged my
head when the car hit the tree."
He considers that for a moment. "The closest thing we have to that in these parts is a small
hospital in Parkerville. Well, actually it's more of a clinic than a hospital, but I think they have a
small ER that's staffed all night," he tells me. "I'd be happy to give you a ride; then I'll stop by the
sheriff and let him know about your car."
I can see that this guy is going to push the thing about the sheriff and I'm sorry to say that I just
can't allow that. I can't have him talking to the authorities and leading them back to me. They'll find
the car soon enough, but I need some time to get away. And this will also solve my problem of
finding a vehicle.
"That's great," I tell him. "I've got some valuables in the trunk I'd like to take into town, do you think
you could help me with them?"
"Sure, son, whatever I can do."
We walk to the back of the car and I pull out my suitcase. As I hand it to him, it blocks his view of
my other hand which reaches into the trunk for the tire iron. When he turns away to carry the
suitcase to the truck, I swing the tire iron back and bring it down cleanly on the back of his head.
The sound it makes is a cross between a heavy thud and a crack and he goes down in a heap
without so much as twitch. Just to make sure the job is done, I hit him one more time.
Picking up the suitcase from where he dropped it, I take it over and toss it in the truck. Coming
back over to him, I check for his pulse and don't find any. I start to drag him over to the edge of
the woods but the effort has my head and my ribs exploding with pain and stars dancing in my
vision so I drag him to the far side of the car and push him underneath it. No one from the road will
be able to see the body unless they walk around the car.
Without so much as a backward glance, I get into the cab of the truck. Luckily, the old man left his
keys in the ignition so I won’t have to go through the trouble of going through his pockets.
Starting the truck I pull away from the crash scene and head back up the road away from the lake.
I don’t know my way around here very well, I only planned out the route to the cabins and then the
way out to the interstate to make my get away. I didn’t plan on needing a fucking hospital and I don’
t really know how to get to this “Parkerville” the old man mentioned. I’d skip the hospital all
together if my head didn’t hurt so damn much.
To make things worse, my vision keeps wavering and my head and my ribs are having a
competition to see which of them can hurt more. I’m sure I’m weaving all over the damn road like a
drunk driver, but there’s no one else on the road so I should be okay.
When the road comes to a “T”, I’m confronted with a multitude of blurry signs. Then again maybe it’
s just a couple signs that I’m seeing in duplicate or triplicate and they’re not blurry, my vision is
blurry. I blink hard and give my head a shake and they slowly condense into four signs. One of
which is for Parkerville. Following the arrow, I turn and although it seems to take forever,
eventually I see a sign welcoming me to town.
Since it’s the largest building in town, which isn’t saying much, it’s not hard to find the hospital.
Okay, so calling it a hospital, even a small one, is being too generous. The old man was right, it’s
more of an urgent care clinic but I do see a sign that says there’s a doctor on duty so I find a spot
at the edge of the lot and turn off the engine. I’ll have to walk farther but the truck won’t be seen
as easily if someone should be looking for it.
Reaching into the front pocket of my suitcase, I get the gun and make sure it’s loaded; then I
shove it in one pocket of my jacket and the extra ammunition in the other. Hopefully I won’t need
them, but I want to be prepared. Since I obviously can't tell them my real name, I also grab one of
the fake I.D.s out of the envelope and put it in my wallet.
I make my way inside, no easy feat, given that I can hardly walk a straight line right now and I’m
glad to see that except for a pretty, fresh faced young nurse sitting behind a wide desk, the
waiting room is empty. Hopefully that will speed things along. Staying in any one place for too long
is a bad idea.
I must look as bad as I feel because the nurse takes one look at me and rushes around the desk.
“Oh my, what happened to you?” she said guiding me into a small exam area off the main waiting
room.
“I swerved to avoid an animal in the road and my car hit a tree,” I explain. “A guy gave me a lift so I
could get checked out.”
“Well, thank goodness for that,” she clucks sympathetically as I sit down on a gurney. “Let’s get
your coat off and...”
“I can do it,” I snap before I can control it.
If she takes off my coat she might find the gun and that would lead to all kinds of questions I’m not
willing to answer right now. The look on her face tells me I better cover it or she’s going to get
suspicious.
I give her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, it’s been a bit of a rough night.”
Apparently buying that, she smiles back. “Perfectly understandable.”
I lay the coat beside me on gurney, just as the doctor comes in. He's the perfect model of an old
country doctor. "So who do we have here?"
"Uh, my name's Darren Johnston," I lie, easily rattling off the name on my fake I.D. "My car got into
a fight with a tree and lost."
"Yes, looks like you've got quite a bump on your head here."
He presses a bit too hard on the lump in question, causing pain to bloom so viciously that it's all I
can do not to haul off and break his fingers. "I hit my head," I say through gritted teeth. "My ribs
are pretty sore too."
"Let's get your shirt off and take a look." He says helping take my t-shirt off and I see ugly bruises
have already started to stain the right of my chest. Lyman's going to pay for every one of them.
"I was hoping you might be able to give me something for the pain," I say with a hiss as he presses
on my ribs and a new bolt of pain erupts. I swear, this guy is about as gentle as a tornado.
He looks thoughtful for a moment. "Well, let's get you checked out and we'll see what we can do."
Despite the small size of this place, I'm surprised by the fact that it's also fairly well equipped. In
addition to x-ray equipment, they also have a CAT-scan machine and they run me through both,
even though I try to protest. I had no idea the exam would be this in depth. It's taking WAY too
long and I'm starting to get a little nervous. Not to mention that they won't give me anything for the
pain in my head and my ribs which still hurt like a bitch and it's really starting to piss me off.
The only plus I see is that the two of them appear to be the only staff in there building and there
are no other patients besides me. That makes it easier to keep tabs on them.
The doctor comes back into the exam area and I don't like the look he's got on his face. It's a look
that says he's got bad news.
"Well, Mr. Johnston, you were right when you said that your car lost when it hit that tree. You have
a concussion and three broken ribs."
"Okay, so what can you do about it?" I ask with a bit more impatience than is probably smart.
He doesn’t seem fazed by my response. “You’ll need to be monitored for the next few days. We’ll
keep you here tonight, but since we don’t have the facilities for a stay that’s longer than a few
hours, in the morning we’ll transfer you to the regular hospital.”
No, no, no. That’s not going to work. I can’t lay around like I’m on some damn vacation. When the
feds find that car or Lyman, whichever they get to first, they’re going to be sending bulletins out to
every medical facility with the nearest 5 states with my face plastered on them. Fake I.D. or not,
someone is going to make the connection and I’ll be in federal custody before you can say
‘Excedrin headache’.
“I really can’t stay that long,” I tell the doctor. “I’ve got important business I’ve got to take care of.”
“I’m afraid that will have to wait,” he tells me with a benevolent tone that I’m sure he generally uses
on his more disagreeable patients. “We need to keep you under observation for that concussion.
It could easily get worse.”
Well, screw his beneficence. I’m getting the hell out of here. “I know my rights, Doctor. As long as I’
m conscious you can’t keep me here against my will. So just give me something for my headache
and I’ll sign whatever release papers I need to sign and then I’ll be going.”
Now the doctor’s expression is halfway between surprised and annoyed. I’m guessing he’s not
used to having his orders countermanded.
“Because of your head injury, I can’t give you anything. It could cause complications later on.”
Okay, I’m really getting tired of this guy. “The hell with complications, my head feels like it’s trying
to explode!”
Our voices must be getting loud because right then the nurse comes in looking a little worried.
“Yes, I’m sure your head hurts quite a bit,” he agrees as I pull on my t-shirt. “That’s why you need
to be under a doctor’s care for the next couple days. If we give you something strong enough to
deaden the pain, it could hide other symptoms that would tell us if your condition was worsening.”
Even with a concussion I can see that this guy’s going to be a pain in the ass. “There’s nothing I
say to change your mind?”
“No, Mr. Johnston, I’m sorry there isn’t.”
Well, clearly, that’s the end of our discussion. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
I climb off the gurney and do my best not to sway when the world dips slightly under me as I fumble
my jacket on. My hand slides inside the pocket and I feel the cool metal of the gun as it fits into my
palm. Pulling my hand out, I raise the gun so they’ll see it and know that I mean business.
“I’m going to make this very simple for you, Doc. If you don’t give me a very large bottle of
something that will make my head stop throbbing like someone is beating on it like a base drum, I’
m going to kill your nurse, then kill you and go find it myself.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The entire time Mike has been recounting Jack’s suspected movements, Donna has pulled more
and more tightly against me, as if she was trying to wrap me around her like a blanket. And now
with her face buried against my neck, she’s got a death grip on my hand that's so hard I wouldn't
be surprised if I wind up with bruises. But if it keeps her calm and gives her some comfort, I don’t
mind.
Mike’s voice is grave as he continues. “...so after he threatened the doctor and the nurse with the
gun, they gave him what pain meds they had...which actually wasn’t a lot since they were a small
facility.”
“Where the hell did he get a gun?!” I ask Mike. “I took the only one we saw him with.”
“We’re still trying to figure that out. I’d say he either had a second one stashed in the car
somewhere or it was the old man’s.”
Although I allow myself to feel a little satisfaction over the concussion and broken ribs Jack
sustained in the crash, I want to kick myself for not searching the car more carefully before we
took off. As for the old man’s death, the attack on the clinic, and my indirect part in both; that
being that I didn’t do more to secure Jack so he couldn’t hurt anyone else, I shove it into the back
of my head before the guilt can choke me.
“So are the doctor and nurse okay?” I ask him.
“The doctor’s fine,” he says pointedly. “After they gave Reese the meds, he locked the doctor in a
closet and left in the nurses Jeep.”
“And the nurse?”
Mike gives me a long look and I don’t think I’m going to like what he says next.
“He took her along...as his hostage.”
My eyes close tiredly for a moment. Yep, I was right, I didn’t like what he said one bit. Just how
many lives is Reese planning to ruin before he’s finished?
“Shit,” I mutter.
Mike lets out a sigh. Although the last twelve hours haven’t been as bad for him as they have
been for us, I’m pretty sure he hasn’t slept since I got back from Mexico, and he’s got to be
running on fumes.
“Yeah, that was pretty much our thinking too,” he tells us. “It definitely complicates things.”
“And you’re sure it was Jack at the clinic and not just some random drifter or something?” CJ puts
in.
My first thought is that her question is a little dumb, but the funny thing is, I was just about to ask it
too. It would be a pretty incredible coincidence if some random drifter just happened to turn up in
a nearby clinic with a concussion, broken ribs, fake I.D. and a gun at about the same time Jack
would have been in the same vicinity and in probably the same condition from the crash.
Mike gamely answers anyway. “The doctor positively identified him and we have him on video from
the surveillance camera facing the parking lot. We also found a truck at the edge of the parking lot
that we traced to the old man.”
“So that’s how he got from the crash site to the hospital,” Toby surmises.
“Yeah, has to be,” Mike agrees. “There’s really no other explanation.”
I can’t manage to keep the sarcasm out of my voice as I ask the $64,000 question. “So wait, don’t
tell me, let me guess, you have no idea where he is or where he’s going, right?”
Mike's expression doesn't change. “Actually we know exactly where he is.”
I blink in surprise and I feel Donna tense against me. That was the last thing we expected him to
say. “You do?!”
"Following a hunch, I checked and the nurse's Jeep is fairly new," he explains. "She had Lo-Jack
installed when she got it."
It’s the first break we've had for a while and I can’t help but be encouraged. "You're kidding."
"No. When we confirmed it, we activated the system. As long as they stay with the car, we'll be
able to follow them."
"Do you think there's a chance he'll figure it out and ditch the car?" CJ asks.
"I'd be surprised if he did. He's got a concussion so I doubt he's thinking all that clearly right now,"
Mike points out. "And even if it occurs to her, I can't imagine the nurse would mention it to him.
She has to know it's her best chance of being rescued."
I have to admit, he has a point. "So what's the plan?"
"Right now, they're still moving so we're following them at a safe distance until they get to a
location we can secure without risk to others and a minimum of risk to the hostage. Then we'll
move in on him."
"Okay..." I say with a nod. I don't know what else to say. I'm almost afraid to hope that it will be as
easy as Mike makes it sound, but with a hostage involved, nothing is sure. Apparently, everyone
else feels the same way, because an odd silence falls over the room.
CJ and Toby exchange glances. "Well, we're gonna...go," she says awkwardly.
It means a lot to me that they came down here. “Thanks for coming guys."
"We're just glad you're both okay. We were pretty worried and wanted to see for ourselves you
were all right.” She grins. “And I wanted to see your face when I told you about staying in the
residence. I knew you’d be thrilled.”
“Understatement of the year,” I grumble. “Say, before you go, how’s the press on this whole thing?”
“Not bad, pretty much on our side. Mostly concern for you and Donna, and getting the word out
about Jack so his face is everywhere. You’ll probably have to get past a gamut of photographers
when you leave the hospital though. After talking to Mike and Ron Butterfield, we’re following their
recommendation and we’re only giving out the barest details at this point. But when you’ve got
dead secret service agents, kidnapped and injured White House personnel, including the deputy
chief of staff and now a kidnapped nurse, it’s impossible to keep a lid on it. They’re digging up
most of the details on their own, which isn’t too tough given the fact that the manhunt that covers
the eastern half of the country and involves nearly every law enforcement agency in the nation.”
While overall, what she tells me is good news, I didn’t like the part about having to face the
photographers on the way out of the hospital. Donna had already been through so much, having
her battered face splashed across the TV and the papers was the last thing she needed. I made a
mental note to talk to Mike and Ron about someway to slip her out of the hospital, even if I have to
act as a diversion for the press.
“Okay, thanks,” I tell her. “Keep me posted if anything comes up on that front. I’ve had about all
the surprises I can stand for a while.”
“Will do,” she says with a nod.
She starts to walk out but Toby lingers for a moment jiggling the change in his pocket as if
struggling to find something to say. Given that Toby, among his many hats, is a presidential
speech writer...the idea that he can't find the right words is kind of weird.
"If you guys need anything...just...let us know," he finally says with a concerned glance at Donna.
See that’s the thing about Toby. Most people, those who don’t know him, would describe him as
gruff and often standoffish, even scary. But the truth is, he actually feels things very deeply and
for those he really cares about, he doesn’t mind showing a softer side. I figured out long ago that
he has a huge soft spot for Donna. Then again, most people do. She just engenders that kind of
response in people.
"Thanks, Toby. We will," I promise.
As Toby and CJ are leaving, I see Mike's eyes flick from me to Donna as if he's assessing
something.
"Donna...?" he says quietly. "Can I ask you some questions?"
She doesn't move, but I can tell she's awake and listening. I've felt a growing wetness on my neck
and I know she's been crying silently, just like she did in our 'cave' last night. Carefully, I maneuver
my arm and its cast out of the sling so I can run my hand gently over her shoulder and down her
arm.
"It's okay, Donna," I coax her softly. "He just wants to talk to you."
"I don't want to talk," she whispers back.
"I know you don't. If I was in your place, I don’t suppose I would want to either," Mike says
sympathetically. "But I'm hoping you might be able to tell me something that can help us end this
situation and save the nurse. She's an innocent bystander in all this and I want to do what I can to
help her.”
"Mike..." I warn.
I know he’s got his job to do, but my job is looking out for Donna and it’s unfair for him to play the
guilt card on her. Despite the fact that none of this is her fault, I imagine her personal guilt dance
card is already full.
To my surprise, I feel her shift and she raises her head slightly. “I don’t know what I can tell you,”
she says quietly.
Looking down at her, I see her eyes and nose are red rimmed from crying. I pull a tissue out of a
small box on the bedside table and hand it to her. She gives me a tiny but grateful smile and I feel
about ten feet tall.
"What do you think Reese will do with her?" Mike asks as gently as he can. "Do you think he'll hurt
her?"
"I don't know," she says wiping her nose. "Maybe if she tries to get away. That made him really
angry." She shivers a little.
I ran my hand over her back. "It's okay, Donna. He can't hurt you now."
She lets out a breath and I feel her settle a little as she continues. "Since he can't drug her, he
may tie her up so he doesn't have to worry about her trying to escape. But I don't think he'll hurt
her otherwise." She glances up at me and then back to Mike. "When he hurt me it was very
personal."
"Would her use her as a shield?" he asks.
Donna seems to consider that. "Maybe...if he's cornered and feels like he doesn't have a choice.
Then again, I might not be the best one to ask," she hedges. "I never would have thought he'd kill
an unarmed old man either."
"Well, right now you're my Jack Reese authority, so anything you can tell me would be helpful," he
says giving her a winning smile.
The smile gives me a sudden and irrational urge to hit him. Don't get me wrong, Mike's a good guy
and I have the utmost respect for him. I even count him among my friends, which is saying
something in a town of back-stabbing sycophants. But I also remember the time I overheard him
tell Donna he'd be hitting on her if there wasn't so much going on. Although my brain logically
knows that right now he's just being charming to try and coax and disarm her into giving him
information, the reptilian brain stem, caveman part of me wants to growl at him that she's mine and
he needs to go find his own woman.
"Well, I'll tell you what I can." Donna replies.
"That's all I ask," Mike tells her with another punch-in-the-nose inducing smile. "Now even though
we're following him, it would help if we knew where he was going. Did he give either of you any
idea where he was ultimately planning to go?"
"He didn't say anything to me," I tell Mike. "He just told me to drive and gave me directions as we
went. I think he wanted to keep me guessing."
When Donna doesn't say anything, Mike prompts her. "Donna?"
"Well, he didn't exactly confide in me, either" she tries to tell him.
"I know, but think hard Donna, you were with him the longest," he says. "Was there anything,
anything at all he said that could give us a clue?"
"I think..." I feel her grip tighten on my hand. "...he was planning on leaving the country when he
was done."
"Good," Mike encourages. "What else?"
"That's all."
"That's all?" he repeats.
"Yes, that was all he said."
"You're sure there wasn't anything else?"
I feel her tremble again, but when she speaks I realize it's not because she’s sad or scared. It's
because she's all but vibrating with anger.
"Yes, Mike, that's ALL!" she practically spits at him. "Because when he wasn't busy hitting me or
trying to strangle me, he was telling me in great detail how he was going to kill me while Josh
watched! Then he was going to shoot Josh in the head and for his grand finale, my ex-boyfriend
was going to dump our bodies in the woods!" she says, her voice rising with each word. "So I'm
sorry if I was too busy trying to stay alive to think to ask him about his future plans!"
With that, she wraps her arms around me, buries her face against my chest, and dissolves into
sobs.
Mike looks taken aback. He's probably never heard her raise her voice before, much less yell or
cry. I have to admit that her actions are a bit out of character for her, she's not one to cry easily,
but if anyone has earned the right to lose it, it's Donna. I imagine being a tough, badass FBI guy
he'd probably rather face a crazed, armed fugitive than a crying woman. Usually, I'd be the first to
agree with him there, but right now I'm just glad I can be the one to hold her when she needs
someone.
"Okay, I think that's all I need for now," Mike says, clearly uncomfortable. "I'm sorry if I pushed too
hard, Donna. I'm just trying to get all the information I can."
Her only answer is to continue to cry. "She knows," I tell him.
Mike nods. "Well, I'll keep you guys informed if we have any more news."
I try to give him a reassuring smile. "Thanks."
He walks out, closing the door behind him and we're finally alone. In low, soft tone, I try to comfort
her as I stroke my hand over her back. "It's okay, Donna."
Much to my relief, her sobs begin to slow and she mumbles something into my chest. "What was
that? I couldn't hear you."
She turns her head slightly so her voice isn't muffled. "I said it feels like nothing will ever be okay
again."
My heart squeezes almost painfully at her words. I brush some hair away from her face and kiss
her temple. "Just give it some time...give yourself some time. Things are going to work out, you'll
see." I say, hoping I'm not lying to her.
"I should apologize to Mike," she says quietly with a little sniffle. "I don't know why I got so angry,
he's just doing his job."
"Don't worry about it. You're exhausted and you've had a lot to process in the last few days." Now
there's the understatement of the year. "That would put anyone on edge. He knows that."
We lie there like that for a few minutes, neither of us saying anything. More than anything, I think
we're both trying to draw strength from the fact that we're safe and back in each others arms. I feel
her take a breath and then let out a shaky sigh.
"What are you thinking about?" I ask her.
"That poor old man," she says in a trembling voice that tells me she's on the verge of crying again.
"He just stopped to help and Jack killed him. His death is on my head."
"Hey, that's not true," I interject.
"Yes, it is," she argues. "And if anything happens to the nurse that will be on my head too."
"No, Donna, the Secret Service agents and the old man and the nurse and everything else are on
Jack, not you."
"But Jack wouldn't be in our lives at all if it weren't for me dating him in the first place."
"Well, if we're using that as our criteria, the real credit for Jack should go to me then."
"You?" she says in surprise. "How is Jack your fault?"
"I didn't sabotage your dates with him like I'd done with all your others in the past. Hell, I even did
everything I could to talk him into going out with you the first time," I point out, feeling angry with
myself. "If I'd just followed my first instincts and done what I usually do with the guys you date, this
wouldn't have happened."
I expected her to dispute my logic, but she's quietly thoughtful for a long moment. "Why didn't
you?"
I frown, not quite understanding her question. "Why didn't I what?"
"Sabotage my dates with Jack?"
Wow, okay, that's a really good question and I have to think a moment before I answer.
"Because I had Amy then and I didn't think it was fair to keep you from having someone too," I tell
her quietly, a little ashamed of the truth. "Before that I wanted you, but I didn't think I could have
you and I didn't want some gomer to steal you away from me before I had my chance." I let out a
breath. "I know that wasn't exactly the mature way to handle things, but..."
"It worked for us..." she finishes. "I never told you this, but usually when I was done being irritated
with you for sabotaging my dates, I was glad you had." She pauses for a moment. "You were right,
Josh, they were gomers. I only went out with them because I couldn't have you."
I blink at her honesty and I want to kick myself for all the time we've wasted. Leaning down, I touch
my lips to hers in a gentle kiss. When I pull back, I can't help but grin at her.
"Well, good. Because from now on you're stuck with me and thank God, I'm stuck with you."
She grins back at me and I realize that somewhere down deep I had worried that this thing with
Jack was going to threaten my fragile new relationship with Donna. But I see now that our
relationship is not so fragile. While I recognize that there are still hurdles we need to get over and
the thing with Jack is not finished, I know without a doubt that we're going to come through it
stronger than we were going in. Tucking some hair behind her ear, I sober a bit.
"Donna, whatever small part you and I played in this whole drama we need to not lose sight of the
fact that, ultimately, Jack's the one that's doing the killing and kidnapping," I tell her. "We didn't
make him do it. They're all his choices and his bad decisions and he's going to have to live with
the consequences."
She looks at me for a long moment and then nods slowly in agreement. "I just hope that no one
else has to die for those consequences."
I press another kiss to her temple. "Yeah, me too."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
18.
“Absolutely not.” I spit out at Mike.
“Josh…” This comes from Donna.
“Are you fucking kidding me with this?” I continue shouting at Mike and ignoring Donna. We haven’
t even made it to the White House yet and he’s suggesting…
“Just hear me out a minute.” Mike requests and I’m about to give him a resounding ‘no’ when
Donna pulls on my arm and urges me to sit back down next to her.
“We helicopter you out there. We’ll have snipers in place. When he tries to make the exchange
between Donna and the nurse, we take him out before Donna ever gets near him.” Mike is only
addressing me right now. I think it’s because he knows if I say ‘no’ there’s no way he gets Donna
to agree. There’s no way I say ‘yes’. Mike can see that in my eyes now, so the dirty bastard turns
directly to Donna.
“There’s no way the nurse lives if we don’t try this.” He tells her and she immediately tears up and
nods her assent.
“Donna!” I object.
“Mike, get whatever we’re going to need ready and let me talk to Josh a minute.” She directs him. I
glare at him until he’s out of the room.
“You can’t possibly…” I begin.
“You’re right.” She interrupts me and her agreement knocks me off my game.
“I am?”
“You usually are.” She smiles. “I’m not responsible for this nurse being taken hostage; only Jack is
responsible for that. But if I don’t try to help now, and this woman dies? I’ll never get over it, Josh. I
won’t be able to look myself in the mirror.”
“Donna…” I whine as a last ditch effort. I should have known THAT wasn’t going to work.
“Will you come with us?” She asks hesitantly and my eyes snap up to hers.
“Will I?” I laugh. “You and I will be handcuffed together until this is over! Do you have any idea how
foolish this is? Why can’t they just use a double for you?”
“Jack would know.” She states quietly and I’m reminded of how…intimately Jack Reese knows
Donna and that only makes me angrier. She seems prepared to take my anger on that score too,
and that makes me cool off instantly.
“I want you to promise me something.” I request and she looks back at me with eyes narrowed.
“After this is over, and Reese is rotting in some prison cell awaiting the death penalty for killing
Federal Officers, you and I are going to take some time and go away for awhile; just the two of us.”
“How would we do that with your schedule?”
“I’ll quit.”
“Josh!”
“I mean it, Donna. You’re that important to me. I don’t think it will come to that, but if it does, I’d quit
in a heartbeat. We’re both going to need some down time away from work and the press to
recuperate. Promise me?”
“Okay.” She puts her hand in mine and seals our deal with a brief kiss. I do not have a good
feeling about this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I feel completely calm. I know I should be a nervous wreck. Maybe it’s the drugs they’ve been
giving me, but I feel completely calm. Now Josh on the other hand, is sending off enough nervous
energy to power up a small city. We’re both wearing bullet proof vests despite Mike’s assurances
that they’re completely unnecessary.
Our helicopter just landed and Josh is doing his bouncy thing next to me while the hostage
negotiator is bringing us up to speed. His name is David and he’s all business; tossing information
right and left as we walk closer to the small gas station Jack has taken over. It’s literally in the
middle of nowhere; the only building around for miles. There’s a bevy of police and emergency
vehicles surrounding it. Apparently, he stopped here for gas and when the FBI moved in, he
dragged the nurse inside the station and has been holed up in there ever since.
“He’s holding Debbie, the nurse, hostage inside, but he let the station employee out without any
trouble. He also seems to be easily confused, which could be a side effect of the injuries he
sustained in the crash earlier, or just another symptom of the psychosis he’s been suffering from.
Was he confused when you were with him earlier?” David asks.
“He was bat shit crazy. Does that count?” Josh offers.
“Jack was certainly acting paranoid and crazy, but he wasn’t confused about what he was doing or
why he thought he was doing it.” I add.
“Then he’s probably dealing with some effects of a concussion or other head injury.” David reports
to his sidekick then turns back to us. “He’s going to insist you come inside the station to talk to
him; that it’s the only way he’ll let Debbie go. You don’t promise anything or agree to any of his
conditions. Mention Debbie’s name as often as possible and tell him you want to help him, but
keep it focused on getting him to bring Debbie out.”
“Okay.” I agree.
“What do I do?” Josh asked.
“Nothing. He doesn’t want to see your face or hear your name; it escalates him.” David reports.
“He’s used to that reaction, aren’t you Joshua?” I snark and Mike chuckles.
“We’re going to put you on the speakerphone with him now. Anything he doesn’t like, just blame it
on us. The FBI won’t let you do this or that The FBI won’t let you cross the crime scene tape, etc.
Got it?”
“I think so.” I nod.
“Anything you’re not clear on, look over at me for a cue.” David tells me before he signals
someone to put the call through and we hear the sound of the call ringing in the van we’re sitting
in just outside the station.
“Yeah?” Jack answers and just hearing his voice erases all my calm. I feel my hands shake and
push them into my jacket pockets but not fast enough for Josh to miss the move. Why does he
have to pick now to get all perceptive on me?
“Jack? I’ve got Donna here.” David announces.
“About damn time. Send her in here.”
“We already discussed this, Jack. We’re concerned about Debbie’s safety. If you want to speak to
Donna then you need to send Debbie out.”
“If you want Debbie to stay alive you need to send Donnatella in.” Jack shoots back. He doesn’t
sound too confused to me.
“And give you two hostages?” David replies. “They’d take away my negotiators badge, Jack. Give
me a break. Tell you what, I’ll let you speak to Donna as soon as you bring Debbie to the window
so we can see she’s unharmed.”
“So you can shoot me through the window? That wouldn’t be very smart of me, would it?” Jack
counters.
“Then we’re at an impasse.” David says resignedly and I look at him in panic.
“I don’t care about this bitch!” Jack shouts, clearly distressed. “All I want is Donna. I’ll let this one
go as soon as Donna comes in, I swear. Just send Donna in. Then we can go back to Italy and
everything will be fine!”
Okay, maybe I was wrong and Jack is a LITTLE bit confused.
“Not while Debbie is still in there.” David remains firm and there’s a long pause.
“How do I even know Donna’s there?” Jack asks suspiciously. David nods at me to speak.
“Jack…? It’s me Donna.” I say tentatively afraid I’ll say the wrong thing.
“Where are you?” He asks me.
“Just outside the station in the blue van.” I answer once David again nods permission.
“Step outside so I can see you’re really there.” Jack demands, but David shakes his head ‘no’. I
think I get this.
“The FBI won’t let me do that until they see that Debbie is okay.”
“They just want a chance to shoot me, Donna. They don’t want us to be together.” Jack whines.
“They don’t care about us, Jack. They just want Debbie out safely.” David nods again. “Let her
walk to the window alone and wave to us so we can see her.”
Jack tersely directs Debbie to walk to window and tells her specifically what he’ll do to her if she
tries to run for the door. She whimpers, but a few seconds later we see her at the window and
although she’s obviously distraught she appears to be physically fine. She quickly returns to Jack
who then demands I make an appearance.
“You won’t be able to see me, Jack.” I counter trying to coax him to the window.
“I’ll be able to see you. Just step in front of the building.” He assures me. David puts the phone on
mute.
“This is good. This tells us he’s moved her from the storeroom to the office. The office has
security cameras that monitor inside and outside the building.” David reports.
“That’s good?” Josh interjects. “It’s going to make sneaking up on him rather difficult isn’t it?”
“Not if he’s focused on something else.” David replies.
“I think you mean, someONE else.” Josh says snidely.
“It’s just a few steps out of the van.” David turns back to me. “You’ll be covered the entire time. He’
s going to have to come out in the open if he wants to hurt you, and that would allow us to take
him out. You’ll be in no danger.”
“Yeah…no!” Josh laughs. “That wasn’t part of the deal.”
“He just needs to see her, be distracted by her for a few minutes.” David rebuts.
I settle the matter by stepping out of the van myself. David wasn’t kidding about me being
completely covered. I’m surrounded by FBI Agents, including Mike. David and Josh are right
behind me. David has the phone and pushes Josh way out of view.
“I’m outside the van now Jack.” I tell him.
“I can’t see you.” He complains. Mike whispers to only move a foot or two at a time. I’m assuming
they want to determine what Jack’s view includes. So I take a small step further away from the van.
“How about now?” I ask him, but he still denies being able to see me. We repeat the process 4
more times before he shouts.
“I can see you!” He sounds happy. “You’re really here.”
“I told you I was. I’ve never lied to you, Jack.” I answer calmly.
“No, you don’t lie, Donnatella.” He answers quietly. “It was that son of a bitch Josh Lyman! He used
both of us and now look what happened! All this is his fault.” He flies into a rage and I almost drop
the phone. David gives me a reassuring nod.
“He won’t interfere this time.” I promise.
“Of course he will!” Jack shouts. “He’s a controlling bastard. He has to be pulling the strings of
everyone around him. I’ll bet he’s there now. Isn’t he? ISN’T HE?!”
David shakes his head ‘no’.
“No. he’s not here, Jack. The FBI wouldn’t let him come.”
“God, he’s making you lie again.” Jack whines. “He has to leave Donna or we’re never going to be
happy together. Don’t you see? Bad things will just keep happening to us.”
“Jack, Josh isn’t here and he won’t interfere…” I break off in shocked silence when there’s a
gunshot and a female scream. “Jack? Jack, what have you done to Debbie?”
“It’s not your fault, Donna. It’s Lyman’s. He has to see what happens when he makes you lie for
him, when he’s too much of a coward to face me himself.” Jack says all calm again. He’s SO
creepy. Josh is now pushing to get next to me.
“What did you do, Jack?”
“I shot her in the foot.” Jack answers glibly. “If you lie for him again it’s going to get a lot worse for
her. Make him come stand by you. I want to see him. I want to talk to him.”
David shrugs at his team and Josh is by my side in an instant. “Hear her crying, Lyman? That’s
because of you and your lies. It’s all your fault. Donna is with ME now. Understand? She’s always
wanted to be with me, you just tricked her. Once we get back to Italy everything will be fine.”
I can see the temples in Josh’s forehead pulsing. He reins it in though. “I got it, Jack. She’s all
yours. Neither of you are worth my time.”
“How’s it feel to lose, Lyman? I don’t think that’s a feeling you’re familiar with.” Jack laughs. Okay,
Josh isn’t going to be able to hold it together much longer so I jump in again.
“Jack, Debbie is hurt now. She needs medical help. Send her out so we can be together. They
won’t let me go inside until Debbie comes out.” I plead.
“They’ll try to hurt me as soon as she’s out.” Jack whines some more. These mercurial mood
swings are making my head pound too. “They’re trying to keep us apart. These guys all work for
Lyman.”
We’re really going to have to explain to him that the DCOS does not control the FBI at some point,
but I’m thinking that lesson would be lost right now and cost Debbie another gunshot wound.
“I won’t let them. Look, I’m walking closer to the building. As soon as Debbie walks out, I’ll come
right in and these guys will go.” I promise and see David roll his eyes and Josh’s eyes widen in
alarm. I have great peripheral vision, what can I say? But I take three or four more steps forward.
Through the plate glass window I see the office door open. I can barely make out Jack’s profile,
mostly hidden behind a weeping, limping nurse who has to be living her worst nightmare right now.
“That’s right, Jack. Bring Debbie out. I’m waiting for you.” My eyes are trained on the office door
and the two figures silhouetted there, but I can feel movement behind me. I ignore it as best I can
and keep talking to Jack. “I can’t wait to leave this awful place and get to Italy. It will be so
wonderful.” I’m imagining a canal in Venice but my companion has dimples and his mental faculties
are all intact…or mostly intact. “Can you teach me Italian, Jack? My mother used to try to teach
me, but I couldn’t pick it up before.”
“I can teach you Italian.” Jack assures me, his breathing heavy as he carefully maneuvers closer
to the door. “Come closer now.”
I take a couple more steps forward and stop. “I don’t want you to hurt Debbie, Jack. Debbie has no
part of this.”
“Then don’t let them make me hurt her, Donna.” His tone becomes more strident. “Make them stay
far back and far away from us. They need to put those weapons down too.”
I sigh and turn toward the agents behind me. “You heard him. Step back and put your weapons
down. He won’t hurt either of us as long as you stay out of this.” I wait until they comply and turn
back to Jack. Josh is now pacing next to the van keeping his eyes trained on the glass window.
“Okay. They did as you asked, Jack. Time to bring Debbie out.”
“Nuh-uh.” I can see him shake his head no as he speaks. “You come in and then she can walk
out.”
“Let her walk alone to the door, Jack.” I beg and start to cry. “I don’t want Debbie hurt because of
me. It will ruin things between us.”
“Then get your ass in here!” He shouts and I flinch. Without looking back, I take a few more steps
toward the door. I’m about 10 feet away now.
“Donna…” I hear Josh’s low warning growl.
“I’m coming, Jack, but you have to meet me half way here.” I can see him inching toward the door
using Debbie as his shield. I can see his plan now. He meets me at the door and swaps me for
Debbie there. Shit. His gun barrel is braced on the side of her head and she’s whimpering.
He’s no longer close enough to the phone to communicate with it. So I turn mine off and toss it on
the ground. Then I hear David’s voice quiet and strong behind me. He must be on the ground to
my right somewhere.
“A team is coming through the storage room door now. Move slow. When I say down, hit the floor
as fast as you can.”
I wonder briefly if fainting would be fast enough. Josh must be having several farm animals behind
us. That image makes me smile for a moment and the smile, seems to reassure Jack who smiles
back. We’re both almost to the set of double doors now. Debbie has her arms out in front of her. I
try to smile at her too, but it might come off as slightly crazed. At this point, who could blame me?
“Open the door, Donna.” Jack directs me. I slowly open the door closest to the side of the building
and furthest from where Jack is standing. He sighs like I’m retarded. “The other door.”
“Let Debbie out now, Jack. These people will take her and go.”
“I want Josh out here first.” Jack says quietly. No, no, no…this was not part of our deal.
“Josh isn’t part of this anymore, Jack.” I try to reason.
“He’ll ALWAYS be a part of this until I make that impossible for him.” Jack explains. “He has to be
removed from the equation so he never bothers us again.”
“He won’t, Jack. I swear he won’t. Let’s just go now. You and me.” I beg and take step into the
doorway. “See I’m right here. We don’t need to hurt anyone else.”
“You still care about him!” He accuses and shakes his head. “See? As long as he’s still alive, you’ll
still care about him and you’ll never be able to give your whole heart to me!”
“I won’t be able to give my whole heart to you if you do this now. Let Debbie go.” I take another
step inside. I’m two feet from Debbie now who’s shaking violently now; from shock or fear, I can’t
tell and I guess it doesn’t really matter.
“Get out here, Lyman or I’ll kill them both you coward!” Jack screams out the open door and Josh
instantly appears in our view.
“If this is how you treat the women you love, no wonder you’re alone.” Josh spits back. Jack flies
into a rage and fires repeatedly at Josh who goes down like a domino.
“No!” I shout and start to turn back to Josh when I hear David shout “Down!” Without even thinking
I grab both of Debbie’s outstretched hands and pull her down with me.
Jack hears the men moving in behind him and gets off a couple shots at them before he turns the
gun back towards Debbie and I on the floor.
“It didn’t have to be like this, Donnatella.” He says sadly before he puts the gun to his own head
and fires. Debbie and I both scream and shield ourselves as best when can from the results. I
honestly don’t know who is shaking worse now. I want to get up and run to Josh, but I can’t move. I
feel a hand on my back and literally jump.
“It’s David, Donna. You’re okay. You’re both okay.” David assures us.
“Josh?” I whisper.
“Ready to tear my team apart to get to you. What do you say we go join him so he can see you’re
okay with his own eyes and stops fighting with my people?” I nod and he gently helps me up, but
he’s careful to turn me away from where Jack’s body is lying on the floor and shields me from the
sight. He’s a good guy, David. Two other agents are helping Debbie to her feet and one ends up
carrying her out of the building to the ambulance waiting for us both. David opens the door and
Josh nearly leaps on me.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?” He’s holding me a foot away from him while he visibly
surveys me for damage.
“I’m fine. What about you?” Josh pats his bullet proof vest.
“I feel like I got sucker punched but not so much as broken skin from it.” He smiles and pulls me to
him tightly. “God, Donna, were you trying to give me a heart attack out here?”
“Me?” I pound on his back shouting. “What about you, stepping out into that madman’s line of
fire?”
“He was threatening to kill both of you. What the hell was I supposed to do?” He shouts at me.
“Hey!” Mike interrupts our shouting match. “We’ve got someone actually injured here and I’m sure
she’d appreciate you putting your Punch and Judy act on hold until she’s taken care of.”
We both turn contritely to Debbie; the only one of us injured and the only one completely innocent
in this whole ordeal.
“She’s got a couple broken bones in her foot. We’re going to need to take her to the hospital for X-
rays and to have it set.” One of the EMT’s reports.
“I’m so sorry, Debbie.” I drop to my knees so I’m at her eye level where she’s half sitting on the
gurney.
“We’re sorry.” Josh joins me. “You didn’t deserve to be dragged into this. And now you’re hurt.
What can we do to help?”
“They just gave me some wonderful drugs.” Debbie tells us. “But I need to call my husband and
tell him I’m okay.”
Josh grabs Mike’s cell from where it’s clipped to Mike’s belt. “What’s the number?”
I sit next to her on the gurney and rub her shoulder while Josh dials and puts the phone on
speaker. We don’t know each other at all. Never even exchanged words with each other before we
got into this ambulance, but we’re the only two people on the planet who know what it was like to
be in that station with Jack waving his gun at us. We’ve bonded.
The number barely rings once before a frantic man answers. “Deb?”
Debbie laughs and cries at the same time. “Yeah, it’s me. I’m fine, Alan.”
“It’s Mommy. She’s fine.” Alan relays to his children who are whooping for joy in the background. It
makes me cry. I’m not sure if it’s with relief or with the thought of having to make this call with a
different end result in mind. Josh wipes the tears off my face with a gentle finger and we share a
grateful look that things turned out relatively well for all concerned. “When are you coming home?
Can we come get you?” Alan asks.
“Ummm…” Debbie turns a panicked look at me, which I interpret as ‘what do I tell him?’.
“Sir, this is Agent Casper with the FBI.” Mike intervenes. “Your wife has some minor injuries that we’
d like to have checked out at the hospital. We have an Agency vehicle parked outside your home.
Could our Agents give you and your children a ride in to meet Debbie there?” Mike asks making
the gunshot wound sound like a skinned knee. He’s good, our Mike.
“Okay.” Alan relents. “Baby, are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m okay. I’m just a little shaken up, you know?” Debbie half laughs/half sobs. “I can’t wait to see
you and the kids!”
“Us too.” Alan admits. “We’ll get in the car right now.”
“Perfect.” Debbie tells him. “I love you!”
“I love you too. We’ll be right there.” Alan says before the call disconnects.
“I love him so much. You have no idea.” She says to me. I look over at Josh.
“I have some idea, I think.” I reply as Josh leans in to kiss me.
“Okay, okay, break it up. We need to get Debbie to her family. You two are being requested back
in the van with David and his team.” Josh kisses me again just to piss Mike off then carefully pulls
me to my feet and we walk over to the van together; carefully averting our eyes from the people
taking pictures of the crime scene. I just want to go home.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
19.
(Epilogue)
I slide into the lake sized marble tub and let the steamy, scented water envelope me. My eyes
close and I let out a sigh as I feel myself relax. As the heat begins to seep into my body, I can't
help but think back to the events that brought me here...brought me and Josh here.
That terrible day at the gas station was nearly three weeks ago. And while Josh and I both met
with Stanley Keyworth and Jack is permanently out of our lives, that day and the days and weeks
before that when he terrorized us still cast a long shadow.
While I'm beginning to be able to sleep without having a nightmare every time I close my eyes, I
still find myself being easily startled, the smell of scotch makes me violently ill, and oddly enough I
find that I've become slightly claustrophobic. Stanley says it's because I probably associate small
closed-in spaces with being trapped.
I also haven't been with Josh since before he went to Mexico. Well, I mean I've been with Josh, but
I haven't BEEN with him.
And he hasn't pushed the issue, just the opposite in fact. The only thing he has asked is to hold
me when we sleep, a request I'm more than happy to oblige. I feel safe when he holds me. Safe
and loved and guilty as hell, which is why I haven't been able to give him much more than that. I
told Stanley why I feel guilty and he said to get past it, I'm going to have to tell Josh.
The problem is, I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. I'm worried about how he'll react and
I'm terrified that it will drive a wedge between us. Then again, NOT telling him is driving a wedge
between us anyway, so...well, you can understand my dilemma. I can already see that by the time
we go back to DC I'm going to have to tell him and let the chips fall they where they may.
I can’t help but give a mental sigh. Back to DC...it seems so far away. Then again, I guess
technically it is a long way away. Part of me still can't believe that we're going to be here in this
amazingly beautiful place for two whole weeks. And I really can't believe that Josh insisted on
making all the arrangements himself.
To my surprise he followed through on his plan for us to get away someplace once the dust had
settled after the thing with Jack. In all honestly, if I hadn't promised him that we'd go away, I'm sure
I would have tried to wheedle my way out of it. It's been a bit of an effort for me to even leave his
apartment everyday and going to a strange place was not the most exciting idea to me.
But in this case, Josh was right and this time away was exactly what we needed. I can feel parts of
myself beginning to thaw...parts that I didn't even know were frozen. I think it was a case of being
too close to a problem and going away is letting me step back from it a little.
Josh asked me if I wanted to go to Hawaii and after all the crap I give him about the fact that he's
never taken me there, I know he was surprised when I said no. I told him that while I liked the idea
of being near the ocean in someplace warm and sunny, thanks to my current new found mild
claustrophobia, I didn't relish the long plane flight it would take to get there. So Josh being Josh
took it as a challenge to find me something similar but closer.
And I have to say that he did a pretty damn good job.
Since it was only about 200 miles from Miami, Josh picked the Bahamas. More accurately a group
of remote islands called the Exhumas in the Out Island section of the Bahamas. Even in the
Bahamas, this area is off the beaten track. We flew into Nassau, then we could have taken a small
plane...and when I say small I mean ‘minuscule’ - the kind that seats 3 or 4 people - to a tiny
airstrip and then a short boat to the resort. But Josh knew how I’d feel about the minuscule plane
part so he chartered a boat to take us from Nassau to the resort. It took longer but I didn’t mind. I
loved the feeling of the wind and the sun on my face.
The resort he chose is a lush, private, 50-acre island called the Royal Plantation at Fowl Cay. It
consists of six gorgeous, fully stocked villas spread over the island, with innumerable secluded
coves and white-sand beaches. Our villa has its own kitchen, a private beach and even a double
hammock strung between two giant coconut palms.
And the water, God, the water surrounding the island is almost indescribable. I don't think I've ever
seen so many different shades of blue in one place. Depending on where you look and what time
of day it is, every conceivable shade of blue is there—from aquamarine, turquoise and indigo to a
shockingly clear diamond-like translucence. It's really quite breath-taking. Although I haven't
tested it out yet so I'm not sure, I'm guessing that the water is as warm and inviting as it looks.
Speaking of warm water, it occurs to me that my once hot bath water is not so hot anymore and I
should think about getting out of the tub. Moving my limbs experimentally, I’m happy to discover
that the minor aches and pains from our outing today have faded.
We've been here for 3 days and today was the first day Josh managed to coax me out of the
house. Did you ever get sick with the flu or a bad cold and just the thought of getting out of bed is
exhausting? Despite the fact I wasn't physically sick, that's how I felt for the first couple days we
were here. Even here in this paradise, all I wanted to do was sleep.
But this morning, when I woke up and found Josh sitting outside looking out over the ocean and
looking so alone, something in my heart shifted. I realized that I've been terribly unfair to him. I'm
not the only one this whole experience has hurt, he's suffered too. But I'm the one that's been
hiding, from him, from the world...from myself and I decided it was time to pull it together.
So I forced myself to suggest we go out and see something. To say Josh was flummoxed is an
understatement, but when he recovered and saw that I was serious, he was like a kid with a new
toy and it was all I could too to keep up with him, hence the aches and pains. But the surprising
thing is...I really did have a good time.
First, we did some exploring of the area around our villa and had the beautiful white sand beach
pretty much to ourselves. Next, the resort provided us with a guide and a boat and we went to a
neighboring island that had a small town and some shops that sold native goods. I didn't buy too
much, but I did manage to get a couple of nice souvenirs to take back for CJ and Toby and a few
soft, comfortable dresses that I figured would be perfect vacation wear here on the island.
Opening my eyes, I see the light in the bathroom has gone from bright to soft and warm and I
know that I've definitely been in the tub for too long. In fact, I'm a little surprised Josh hasn't come
in to see if I've turned into a prune.
Then my nose twitches. Someone is cooking something that smells really delicious. Josh must be
trying to make something for dinner. While we can order meals brought in or we can go to the
main house to eat in their small but elegant restaurant, our villa came with a full, completely
stocked kitchen which has been pretty handy. With a pleasant little surprise, I realize that I’m
actually hungry...starving really, for the first time in days...maybe weeks. I know that my lack of
appetite and the slight weight loss that’s come with it has been a real concern to Josh and so I
think this will be a good chance for me to ease his mind.
Draining the tub, I step out, and dry myself off. Then I take a moment to study my reflection in the
mirror. Normally I'm not one to stand naked in front of a mirror, but in this case I have a reason. I'm
checking to see if I have lingering gifts from Jack. I’m happy...well, maybe relieved is a better
word...to see that all the bruises are finally gone and only a couple of dark pink scars remain from
my run in with the rubber bullets. It’s amazing what three weeks will do. Between me and Josh, I
think the only physical reminder of what happened is the cast on his arm. He’ll get that off when we
get back to DC.
Slipping into one of the new dresses I bought today, I walk to the window. The view of the ocean
from the villa is gorgeous. Through the wide bathroom window I look out to see brilliant shades of
orange and purple splashed across the sky as the sun finishes its slide into the ocean. It’s just
another beautiful day in paradise and since the man I love to distraction is cooking for me I’d
better not keep him waiting.
“Josh...!” I call as I walk barefoot down the short hall to the living area. “...whatever you’re making
smells delicious. I hope you made enough because I’m...starving." I blink in disbelief at what I'm
seeing and for a moment, I simply cannot speak.
“I think there might be enough food for you here, Donnatella."
Grinning, Josh is standing next to the large dining room table which is laden with all kinds of food
that I know he couldn’t have cooked himself. Succulent meats, crisp salads, colorful vegetables
and desserts to die for. He must have had the resort bring in the huge feast for us. I didn’t hear a
thing so he must have made sure the staff was very stealthy. It’s like little elves came in while I was
taking a bath and did all this while he supervised.
But as if that wasn’t enough, what actually renders me speechless is the candles. They’re
everywhere. White candles of every size sit on nearly all the open surfaces of the dining and living
room and flicker softly in the gentle breeze coming in through the open patio doors. With the dying
light from the sunset and the warm candlelight washing over him, Josh looks more tasty than all
the food put together. It’s the most amazing sight and it makes my throat close up with how
wonderful it all is.
When I don't say anything, his grin turns a little nervous and he fidgets a little. "It's good to know
that I've finally found a way to render you speechless."
Still not quite able to find my voice, I do the first thing I can think of. I walk over to him and holding
his face lightly in my hands, I press my mouth to his in a slow, lingering kiss.
"Okay, so that apparently works too," he said with a rejuvenated grin when we come up for air.
I can't help but smile back. "You find many ways to make me speechless, Joshua," I tell him softly
as I run my fingers lightly through his hair. "I love you so much."
His expression changes slightly and he blinks in...surprise. Wait...surprise?
"You know that, right?" I ask him.
The deer-in-the-headlights look floods his eyes. "Uh, what? Oh...ah, yeah, of course."
Horrified, I take a step back. "Oh, my God. You don't know that."
"No, no, it's not that...I swear," he backpedals. "It's just...things have been a little weird since the
thing...and that's okay...I know you went through a lot...I just..."
I wrap...no, I THROW my arms around him. "I love you more than I can put into words, Josh," I say
with tears springing to my eyes. "I know I've been having a hard time with some things the last few
weeks, but if I've said or done anything that has made you think differently, I'm sorry."
His arms go around me like steel bands and it's about the most comforting feeling I've ever had.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. I do know how you feel about me and I hope you know that I
love you more than I've ever loved anyone," he whispers against my hair. "I also know that despite
the fact that you've talked to Stanley, you've been struggling. That's what's been so hard for me, I
want to help you, but I don't know how."
My heart warms at his words, but now it's my turn to be surprised. I didn't know he felt so helpless.
"But you have helped me. You've been nothing but kind and gentle and patient. No one could ask
for more." Pulling out of his arms, I turn and walk to the window. "God, I've really screwed things
up," I mutter as I try to rub away the tears that are gathering.
"No...hey, hey." Walking over to me, he folds me into his arms. "Please don't cry. I don't want you
to cry anymore. You haven't screwed up anything. I know you need some time. I can wait as long
as it takes."
His words make me want to cry harder. He's really being so incredibly sweet and patient. I let him
hold me for a moment, a very long moment, and simply enjoy the feeling of him wrapped around
me. I'm also procrastinating over what I know I have to do. The moment to tell him what I've been
holding back is clearly at hand. Slowly, reluctantly, I pull out of his arms and walk a short distance
away.
"No, you don't understand..." Turning to face him, I let out a breath. "I have something to tell you."
He frowns a little, but he sees that it's important to me. "Okay, what is it?"
"You're right. I have been struggling. I've felt...I feel...incredibly guilty about what happened with
Jack..."
He starts toward me. "I keep telling you it's NOT your fault..."
I put up my hand to stop him. "Wait, let me get this out."
He stops and looks torn, like he wants to argue with me some more, but slowly he nods.
I take a steadying breath. "Logically, in my head, I know that what happened was all Jack's fault
and I'm working on getting my heart on that same page and I think with some time it will," I tell him.
"It would be easier for me to do that if Jack had only hurt me, but he hurt you too and that’s what
hard for me to deal with."
Josh's face softens as he takes a step toward me. "Donna..." he says gently but I rush on before
he can say anything else.
"It's also occurred to me that this mess with Jack might have happened for a reason and we might
not be together right now if it hadn't."
Letting that hang in the air, I stare at him for a moment and in his eyes I can see that the same
thing has occurred to him too.
"Which is why I've avoided telling you something." I say, hating the tremor in my voice. "I told
Stanley, but I haven't told anyone else. It's something that happened when Jack kidnapped me.
Something that I'm afraid will damage what we have now and I don't think I could handle that."
I see a look of conflict flash across Josh's face. It's a look that tells me he's torn between wanting
to hear what I have to say and being afraid of what I have to say. In direct opposition to that look, I
hear conviction in voice when he quietly answers me.
"You know you can tell me anything."
I sit down on the edge of the couch and clasp my hands together. "When I was in the cabin with
him...I...he..." Great Donna, very eloquent. Fighting the now familiar wave of shame that rolls
through me, I clear my throat and try again. Like ripping off a bandage, this time I just decide to
blurt it out. "I asked Jack to have sex with me."
Blinking at me, Josh's expression changes, but it's not quite what I expect. He doesn't look hurt or
angry, he just looks baffled. "Could you say that again?"
"Do I have to?" I plead. "It was hard enough saying it the first time."
"Donna..."
Unable to meet his gaze any longer, I stare down at my hands. "I asked him...to have sex with me...
begged him actually," I repeat quietly.
"Why?" he asks simply.
I figured by now he'd be yelling at me, which is no more than I deserve and now that he's not, I'm
more unsure than ever. It feels like the other shoe is hanging over me, waiting to drop on my head.
"I told him that we didn't need anyone else. That we could go away where no one could find us. I
told him I'd do whatever he wanted as long as he left you alone." Tears blur my vision and I
swallow hard as I close my eyes. "He asked me if I'd let him..." I can't make myself say the words.
"...do what he wanted to me...if I knew it would save you. Then he asked if I'd beg him for it. He
said he'd like it if I begged...so I did."
The room is utterly silent for a long moment. "Tell me the rest," he says quietly.
Ashamed, I shrug and the tears squeeze between my closed eyelids to burn a trail down my face.
"That's really about it." Then I let out a wet, shaky chuckle. "I'm afraid my begging wasn't very
good. In fact, he said it was about the worst begging he'd ever heard. But it was hard to work up
much enthusiasm for anything that would involve him touching me." I let out a little breath and
manage to keep it from coming out as a sob. "In the end, it didn't matter anyway because he said
he wasn't taking your sloppy seconds anymore."
There's another pause. "Is that everything you wanted to tell me?"
I nod. "I'm sorry, Josh."
I hear him sigh heavily and slowly his footsteps come toward me. My body tenses for his reaction. I
startle slightly when I feel the palm of his hand lightly touch my cheek and he lifts my face so I
have to look at him.
When my gaze finally meets his, I'm surprised to see his eyes are bright with unshed tears and his
expression is full of compassion rather than anger. "Donna, why on earth are you sorry?"
I blink at him. "Because I betrayed us...you."
"How? By throwing yourself in front of me? By trying to save me?"
I open my mouth, but it takes me a minute to form something coherent. "You're not angry?" I ask in
disbelief.
His expression becomes almost...fierce. "Oh, no, I'm angry. In fact, it's safe to say that I'm royally
pissed."
I blink in confusion.
"Not at you," he clarifies. "Okay, so mostly not at you. I don't like the idea of you offering yourself
up like a sacrificial lamb to save me," He says taking my hand in his and giving it a squeeze. "On
the other hand, I know you did it because that's the kind of person you are. I understand about
doing whatever it takes to protect those you love."
His words make my heart swells almost painfully in my chest and my eyes threaten to fill with tears
again.
Releasing my hand and shoving his hands in his pockets, no easy feat with the cast on his arm,
he paces a few steps away and then he whips around. "The one I am really pissed at is that son of
bitch, Reese. I can't believe he put you through that...through everything. I don't say this lightly,
but I'm glad he's dead...I'm glad that you and I didn't do it, but I'm glad he's dead."
Those are words I never thought I’d hear Josh say and yet after all that's happened and the fact I
wanted to kill Jack myself on a number of occasions, I completely understand how he feels.
Finding the strength to stand, I walk over to him.
He stares at me for a moment and as if he just realized something, I see just a flash of hurt in his
eyes. "Did you really think I was going to hate you for what you did?" he asks quietly.
I hadn't even realized that he'd interpret it that way. True to form for both of us, I'm putting it on my
shoulders and Josh is putting it on his. We certainly are a pair. The thought makes me almost
ridiculously happy.
"I swear, Josh, I didn't think of it like that. Honestly, I don't know what I’ve been thinking." Laying my
hand his arm that's not wrapped in a cast, I try to make him understand. "My head has been so
screwed up the last few weeks. All I know is that when it happened I felt dirty and ashamed and
ever since then I've been wracked with guilt about it."
The hurt in his eyes fades and is replaced by understanding as he puts his arms around me again
and pulls me close. "I’m sorry that you had to go through any of that,” he whispers into my hair.
“And I’m really sorry that you worried for one second that I would think less of you for it because I
don’t."
Everything inside me, everything that’s been closed up tight like a turtle in a shell, begins to open
and relax. It feels a little like exhaling when you’ve been underwater holding your breath for way
too long. It’s both exhilarating and a tiny bit disorienting at the same time, but you’re suddenly so
happy to be alive.
“I’d go through anything, Josh,” I whisper as I hold him tightly. “As long as it meant we can be
together.”
"I'm not going anywhere," he promises.
Pulling back, I capture his mouth with mine in a heated kiss that turns hungry with lighting
quickness. I feel his hands slide up my back to my hair, which he deftly releases from the clip I'd
put in when I took my bath and his fingers tangle in the strands as they spill down over my
shoulders.
"Make love to me, Josh," I manage between kisses.
Breathing hard, he pulls back and searches my face. "Are you sure? I don't want you to do
anything you don't feel ready for."
Since I can feel the evidence against my hip of how his body is reacting to what we're doing, I can
appreciate the restraint he's showing, but I've never meant anything more in my life.
"I am ready," I tell him. "I want...I need to start living again."
Framing my face in his hands, he smiles what I think is the most amazing smile he's ever given me.
And given how much I love Josh's smiles normally, that's really saying something. Then he leans in
and kisses me again sending a rush of heat and longing through my body.
We make our way down the hall to the bedroom. We could have made use of the candlelight and
the couch, but I think we both want something more than a quick little romp, not to mention the
whole danger of falling on the floor thing. Both of us have had enough bruises in the last few
weeks to last a lifetime.
The bedroom is lit only by the moonlight spilling in through the large bedroom windows and a
warm ocean breeze gently stirs the soft gauzy white curtains at the open patio door. The air
rushes deliciously over my skin as the dress slides off my shoulders to pool at my feet and my
underwear joins it a minute later. Josh must be as anxious as I am because he's right behind me in
the naked department, except for his cast of course which all but glows in the moonlight.
Then he pulls my body against his and his cast is the last thing on my mind. We sink down onto
the bed, kissing and touching and exploring each other like we haven't done since before he went
to Mexico. Actually it's even more intense now than it was then. Back then there was a certain
desperation to our lovemaking. Time was running out and we had to pack as much as possible
into the short time we had. But now, there's a feeling of beginning to what we're doing. Like we
have all the time in the world.
Josh's hands and mouth roam my body, inflaming everywhere he touches. His kisses move up the
inside of my thigh to their first destination. And when he puts his mouth on my center, it doesn't
take much to have me coming in a quick, hard, breath-stealing rush that has me gripping me the
sheets and calling out his name.
For the record...if I haven't said it before...Josh is REALLY good at that part.
Oh, who am I kidding, he's really good at ALL the parts. As usual, he's an over-achiever, but
believe me when I say I'm not complaining.
Looking pleased with himself, Josh kisses his way over my stomach and after lingering on my
breasts, he settles himself over me, the weight of his body pressing me to the bed. For half a
second something in my head threatens to compare the feeling of him to Jack straddling me on
the couch in the cabin or when he was strangling me in the woods, but I work to fight it back. Part
of the problem is that Josh's face is cast in deep shadow so it's a little hard to focus on him. Since
we're near the edge of the bed, I stretch over and manage to switch on the small lamp sitting on
the night stand.
Blinking slightly in the soft light, Josh must see something in my face because the hint of a
question comes into his eyes. "You okay?"
"I wanted to see your face," I tell him softly.
I hadn't even realized that my breath had quickened slightly and not in a good way, but now that I
can see him, everything settles. It's just him and me and there's absolutely nothing to be afraid of.
He just wants to love me and all I have to do is let him. Nothing ugly can exist in the face of that.
Still looking down at me, Josh continues to look a little concerned. "You sure you're okay?"
I run my fingers lightly through his hair, loving the silky feel of his curls. To show him I mean what I
say, I smile and relaxing my body under him, I slide my legs up around his waist, settling the hard
length of him more tightly against me.
"Yeah, I'm good...really good."
He dips his head and tenderly rains kisses on my forehead, over my eyes, down my nose, along
my jaw and finally to my mouth which he captures in a gentle kiss that turns heated and then
moves right onto searing. We continue like that for a long while, just kissing and enjoying the
closeness of our naked bodies pressed together.
Surfacing for air, Josh's hands slide up into my hair and he stares down at me as if he's giving me
a last chance to change my mind. By that point, changing my mind is that last thing I want to do
and so I give him a nod.
Seeing my signal, Josh sifts his body and as his eyes stay locked on mine, he slowly, deliberately
slides inside me. The feeling of him inside me...the feeling of connection with him on so many
levels is incredible. I have no words to say how thankful I am that we're both here and can be
together like this. As he begins to move and the feeling in my body builds, I know without a doubt
that we're going to be fine...better than fine.
At that point I lose the ability to think at all as instinct and feeling take over and Josh brings us
both to the fine edge of sanity. My nails dig into his skin as I try and find some anchor against the
rising tide of pleasure. Then it swamps me completely, dragging me under and I choke out his
name as feeling and Josh explode inside me.
Spent, Josh collapses against me, burying his face against my shoulder and breathing hard and
fast. Trying to catch my own breath, I smile as I run my hands lovingly over his sweaty skin. He
shifts us and rolls onto his back holding me against him so now I'm laying partially on top of him.
I rest my cheek on his chest and listen to the comforting sound of his heart. "Thank you, Josh," I
tell him quietly.
The hand that had been stroking my arm pauses. "For what?"
"For everything. For what we just did. For bringing me to this beautiful place. For coming to save
me." My voice catches a little. "For loving me."
His hand starts moving over my arm again. "Loving you has been the best thing in my life," he
says softly. "I'm just sorry it took so long for us to get here and you had to go through so much."
"I'm not," I say truthfully. "When all is said and done, it's made me appreciate every day I have with
you that much more."
His arms tighten around me and he kisses the top of my head. "Me too."
We both lay there quietly for a moment. "You know what I want right now?"
"What?"
I sit up. "Food...I'm starving," I say with a grin.
Josh chuckles. "Well, it just so happens we've got a dining room full of food at our disposal."
Climbing off the bed, I prop a hand on my hip. "How do you feel about eating dinner...naked?"
A full blown dimpled smirk erupts on Josh's face. "I'm thinking it's going to be my new favorite past
time."
With a giggle and Josh close on my heels, I take off down the hall to sample the delights that await.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The hammock beneath us sways slightly in the breeze as I watch Donna sleep peacefully.
I can't believe how good she looks. I mean she always looks good but I can see such a difference
in her even since we got here ten days ago.
Dressed in the shorts and tank top she put on after we got back from exploring a nearby island
this morning, she looks rested and relaxed. She's gained some weight, her alabaster skin has just
a touch of sun, her hair is even lighter from all the time outside, and there is a dusting of freckles
across the bridge of her nose. Freckles that she hates and I think are just about the cutest thing
ever and delight in counting on a regular basis. Today there are 27.
And there's the biggest change of all.
I rub my thumb over the delicate gold band on her finger that matches the one I'm wearing. I
promised to let her pick out any diamond engagement ring she wants to go with it when we get
back to DC.
I asked her to marry me a couple of days ago. We were walking on the beach and she stopped to
look at something, a sand dollar I think. I stood there watching her and I just knew I wanted to
marry her. It was quite the moment of clarity and I was a little surprised that I hadn't thought about
it before.
After convincing Donna the idea wasn't some knee-jerk reaction to the events of the last few days,
she miraculously said yes. I told her she could have any type or size wedding she wanted, but the
funny thing is, we both knew we didn't want to wait to get married.
There will be hell to pay with our friends and families when we get back, but honestly, I don't care.
We're married and that's what matters most to me. I want to make the most of every day I have
with her.
Donna stirs softly and with a yawn her eyes flutter open and she looks up at me. "Hey," she says
with a drowsy smile.
I lightly brush some hair back from her face. "Hey yourself, how was your nap?"
"Hmmmm..." She stretches lazily and then snuggles against me. "Wonderful. What have you been
up to?"
"Nothing, just watching you."
She smiles softly at me. "Sounds pretty boring," she teases. "I bet I can think of something more
exciting."
"Nah, I'm not doing exciting today."
"Well, okay, if you say so," she says climbing gracefully out of the hammock.
I haven't quite figured out how she does that. When I have to get out of the hammock, it's all I can
do to keep from falling on my face or looking like a character out of a Jerry Lewis movie.
"Yeah, I think I'm just going to lay here in this hammock and be a slug for the rest of the afternoon."
She walks slowly toward the house. "Suit yourself," she calls back over her shoulder. "I'm going to
go and take a long, hot shower. I thought maybe you'd like to join me, but if you're going to be a
slug I guess I'll have to manage in that enormous shower all by myself."
Okay, so I can be a slug later.
I scramble out of the hammock so fast, it's a wonder I don't do myself bodily harm, but I manage to
stay in one piece and I trot after her.
"Well, I better come with you," I call after her with a smirk. "You know, just in case you need
someone to wash your back."
The End.