April 2003
He’s doing it again. That stupid bird has followed me from Josh’s office to C.J.’s
office and back to Josh’s again; tapping on the window with his beak the entire time.
I’ve decided it’s a male bird due to its extremely slow learning curve and the fact that
it’s refusing to take direction from me…a woman.
I don’t want to scare it away or hurt it but I’m afraid it’s going to hurt itself. If he
damages his beak, what will he do for food and building a nest? Or is it just the
female bird that’s relegated to that kind of work? It probably is. Looking around at
this operations area, it looks like we have a lot in common with the birds. The
assistants, almost all female, are running around like chickens with their heads cut
off, pardon the pun, while Josh and Toby, for example, are kicked back on Toby’s
couch watching something on TV.
Enough is enough. I pound on Toby’s door, making them both jump, and open the
door simultaneously. They look like they’ve been caught looking at Playboy by their
mom.
“Are we having fun?” I ask.
“We’re working.” Josh says quickly.
“On what, exactly?”
Josh throws a look at Toby like he wants him to come up with an answer.
“I’m writing.” Toby replies without looking up from the TV. I narrow my eyes at Josh.
“I’m helping.” He tries.
“Well then, if you’re tied up with Toby, I can leave for the night?”
“No! I’m not done, yet.” He stands up suddenly and turns serious. “I’m waiting on
word for a meeting with the Vice President.”
I frown trying to think what that meeting could be about. Josh seems to read my
mind. “I don’t know if I’m going to need to meet with him yet. I’m waiting on a call
from your White House counsel hottie.”
That throws me for a minute. Not the hottie comment, I know what that means. But
why would Josh be waiting for a call from White House counsel to decide whether or
not he needs to see the Vice President. The look on his face is begging me not to
ask.
“I’ll page you when he calls.” I promise.
“Okay, but don’t be making any dates with him or anything.” He shouts after me as I
leave Toby’s office.
I don’t have to wait too long before I get a call from Joe’s assistant asking for Josh. I
page him as promised and Josh rushes back into his office and shuts the door
before he takes the call. He’s not on the phone very long before he comes back out
and asks me to get Toby and CJ right away.
They pow-wow behind closed doors for a few minutes before Josh opens the door
again and asks for some time with Vice-President Hoynes.
Something’s going on. Something very serious. Josh tends to avoid the VP
whenever possible because of their past working relationship. If he does have to
visit Hoynes he goes alone. This time, he’s taking C.J. and Toby, and it involves the
White house counsel. I’d like to go home, I am so tired, but I hesitate to leave when
Josh might need me after this meeting is done.
I settle on waiting in his chair in his office with the overhead lights off. I turn on the
desk lamp when I notice it. The idiot bird has curled up next to the window and fallen
asleep. He looks all cute with his bent little beak tucked into his feathers. At least
someone is getting some rest. I slip off my shoes and curl into Josh’s chair. I grab
the file on the top of the pile and peruse it. Sadly for me it’s budget numbers and my
eyes start drifting closed almost immediately.
I don’t know how long I’ve been sleeping, but I startle awake when Josh comes in
and turns the lights on.
“Oh! Bright lights!” I protest, but he leaves them on.
“Go home, Donna.” He snaps.
“I’d love to. I thought you might need me after the meeting.” I explain as I get up and
stretch.
“I don’t. Go home.” He repeats and I get a good look at his face. He looks angry, but
there’s something else there too. Disappointment? Betrayal? What the hell?
“Josh?”
“I need the files for the budget thing and-“
“Right here.” I point to the file that put me to sleep. “What happened with the Vice
President?”
Josh laughs derisively and slams a file drawer shut.
“Careful! Not so loud!” I warn him.
He looks at me like I’m nuts. “Is there someone else sleeping in here I don’t know
about?”
“Our little friend is back.” I indicate the bird sleeping on the other side of the window.
“You have me creeping around my own office so I don’t wake up a bird!” He shouts.
“Josh?”
“You can’t protect everyone and everything, Donna. You just can’t.” he insists and
he pounds on the window pane with a closed fist, startling the bird and me.
“Josh!”
“And the worst part of it is, hardly anyone is worthy of protection anyway. So you
spend time and effort and resources and emotions and then you find out they didn’t
deserve it in the first place!” Josh swipes several files off his desk in anger.
Now, I’m scared. “Josh, what happened with the Vice President? What happened?” I
take his hands in mine and force him to look at me.
“He’s not the Vice President anymore.” He tells me with a smirk. “Or at least he won’t
be for much longer. He leaked classified information to some bimbo he was sleeping
with and now she’s publishing a book!”
“No. Not even John Hoynes would be that careless, that stupid.” I argue.
“I guess he wasn’t QUITE over his infidelity issues as he assured us that he was.”
Josh broke free of my grasp and starting pacing the width of his office. “We are so
screwed.” He tells me and then seems to find his choice of words hilarious and
starts laughing at the unintended pun. “John Hoynes has found a way to screw us
all. Somebody call Guinness World Records.”
“What does this mean Josh? For the President? For the administration?”
“President Bartlet’s Vice President, after admitting to leaking classified information
to his partner in an adulterous affair, resigns in disgrace.” Josh announced. “We’ll
have to find a new VP while dealing with Congressional investigations, again. We’ll
take a hit on leaks and security, which the Democrats are already behind in
according to the polls. It may swing the mid-term elections their way. The
implications will be wicked and far reaching, Donnatella.”
He finally stops his pacing and stands in front of the window.
“I’m sorry, Josh.” I say quietly and watch him shrug, but I know this is hurting him. He
still hasn’t fully recovered from the whole MS thing and now this? This man, who had
trust issues to begin with, is now dealing with what he can only view as another
betrayal.
I walk up behind him and tug on his arm until he turns enough to see my face.
“I’m really sorry, Josh.” I repeat and pull him into my arms for a hug. For a moment,
he just stands there with his arms at his sides, then slowly I feel them come up
around my waist and his head drops to my shoulder.
“I don’t know how much longer I can do this, Donna. I don’t know how I can trust
anyone around here anymore.”
“I know.” I tell him though my heart breaks a little more hearing him say he can’t trust
anyone ‘around here’ anymore.
“I swear to God, Donna, if it weren’t for you and my mom, I’d have absolutely no faith
in people.” He admits and just like that- my heart mends again.
I pull back a bit so I can see his weary face. “Well, you DO have your mom and me.
You always will.” I promise him and see his features soften. His eyes search my
face, and dear God, they stop on my lips for a few seconds before they come back
to my eyes. My heart stops completely. I’ve been waiting for a moment like this since
Nashua, but Josh is not in a good place right now. If he ever kisses me, I don’t want
it to be like this when he’s hurting and vulnerable. Hell, he’s still seeing Amy. This
can’t happen now.
I take a deep breath and step just a small step away from him. He lets out the breath
he’s been holding and rests his forehead on mine. “You should go home.”
“You’re going home too?” I confirm.
“Yeah, I’m going home too. Do you need a ride?” he offers.
“I drove today. I’ll be fine.” I assure him and search his face again.
“I’ll be fine too, Donna. Get some rest. We’re going to have to start vetting Vice
Presidential nominees tomorrow.” He gives me a wan smile and squeezes my hand
before letting me go. “I’ll see you at 7.”
“Okay….goodnight Josh.” I reluctantly leave him. If I stay another minute, I’m going
to take him up on the silent offer he just made me and that won’t be good for
anyone. The last thing we need right now is another sex scandal in the White
House. So I leave. What choice do I have?
