November 2003
I look out my window and see that Josh is still standing there
waiting to see a light in my window. I obligingly turn it on and give
him a small wave goodnight. He gives me a sort of salute and then
makes me laugh by pretending to shoot basketballs into an
imaginary hoop; an allusion to his earlier compliment to me…or
Wilt Chamberlain…or maybe both of us. He is riding high tonight,
ladies and gentlemen. He ought to be too. He did an amazing
thing starting up the Federal Government again. Okay, the
President had a little to do with it, but it was Josh’s play that the
President executed, and executed without hesitation.
What must that be like to have the leader of the Free World do
what you tell him to do? The high from that must be enough to
outweigh when that same leader whacks you with a two by four in
the Oval office in front of witnesses, right? Right? Except that the
whacking was public as I mentioned and the win…well, a few of us
know whose plan it was and how it played out, but it’s the
President taking the bows.
I’m only asking because I was seriously afraid he was going to
resign and leave the White House just a couple days ago. That’s
why I brought him the whole ‘what a shame’ file. I thought if he
could get back to some of the reasons we got in this in the first
place it would give him a renewed sense of purpose; something
he’s been sorely lacking lately. So watching him practically dance
down the street after our walk home makes my heart swell; that
and the knowledge that he and the Harvard bitch are done.
Oh, did I say write that out loud? Oops!
It’s been a long miserable season, but it looks like it may be
coming to an end. Our talk on the way home was…illuminating. I
think he understood what I was asking from him. I can’t watch him
jump into another relationship right now. I just don’t have it in me.
Things are already coming to a boil between us, I can feel it. It’s
only a matter of time. And we really don’t need any innocent
victims between us when it does.
I need…more. Personally and professionally, I need more. Josh
isn’t just going to give me more either. I’m going to have to fight
for it tooth and nail. He’s entirely too comfortable with the status
quo so things aren’t going to change for us on any level unless I
push it. Now the big question is whether or not I have the guts to
do it.
Christmas is right around the corner so work will be winding down
a bit. But once the holiday is over I’ll make my pitch for some
greater responsibility and see where it gets us. And speaking of
Christmas, I’m still looking for that perfect gift…