November 2005
“Do you want another drink?” he asks me.
“No.” I tell him looking directly into his eyes. Come on, Joshua, work with me here. If
there was ever a time for you to be able to read my mind, this is it. I stand up slowly,
grab my sweater and walk toward the elevator praying that he’s behind me. By the
time the car arrives, I see his reflection in the doors as they open. We walk inside
and he reaches past me to hit the ‘19’ for his floor; very good sign. The outer doors
close and I’m startled when I’m suddenly pushed against the wall of the elevator and
have the breath kissed out of me.
I nearly fall to the floor when my knees give out from the unexpected assault, but
Josh has his arms around me and keeps me upright. He releases my mouth and I
gasp for breath. Meanwhile, he moves his talented mouth across my face to my ear
before continuing its travels down to my neck. I tilt my head back to give him better
access and catch sight of us in the mirror on the ceiling of the elevator. Dear. God.
It’s like watching a movie. The man who holds my heart in his hands is currently
doing things to my body that would make most women blush.
He gets impatient for more and pulls my blouse out of my skirt and runs his hands
under it to take my breasts in his hands while simultaneously moving his mouth over
mine. I hear bells ringing…Shit! Those aren’t in my head. The elevator has
stopped. My head whips around to see where we are and notice we’re on his floor.
Josh doesn’t seem to even notice we’ve stopped. “Josh! Josh wait! We’re on your
floor.”
He looks up with a startled look on his face like he just woke up. “We are? Good.
No, great. No, GRAND!” He’s giving me this mischievous grin and tugging on both
my arms to lead me out of the elevator and down the hall toward his room. As we
get closer to the room, his pace gets faster and faster until we’re practically running.
“Josh!” I try to admonish him, but I can’t keep the laughter out of my voice. He takes
the keycard out of his pocket and opens the door on the first try. “Wow! I’ve never
seen you do THAT before.”
“I’ve never had this kind of motivation before.” He grins and pulls me inside. The
room is completely dark except for the glow of the hotel room clock. There are no
romantic trappings that usually accompany being with someone for the first time,
and that makes me a little sad, but Josh gives me no time to dwell on that. He’s
unbuttoning my blouse and kissing each inch of skin he reveals as he goes. Parts
of my body are tingling that make concentration very difficult so he gets ahead of
me in the undressing contest.
Determined to catch up, I unbuckle his belt and pull it from his pants before getting
rid of his shirt too. His t-shirt is next, although he has to stop the kissing while I get it
off and I don’t like that, once it is off I have bare skin to explore myself.
He unzips my skirt quickly and with one flick of his hand my bra is off. I take care of
his pants so we’re now standing there wearing only boxers and a pair of panties. My
hands slide down his chest, pausing only briefly on his scar, before continuing on
down inside his boxers and taking him in my hand. He shudders and moans my
name in a way that makes my intense need to have him inside me even more
urgent. I push him away from the wall we’ve been leaning on and toward the bed. In
one smooth move, he bends down and picks me up, carrying me to the bed before
gently depositing me on it. He takes off my panties and then stops to admire the
view.
That I can’t have. I pull him down on top of me and slowly remove his boxers.
“You are SO beautiful, Donnatella.” He whispers to me as his fingers perform magic
on my breasts. I try to respond, but then his mouth replaces his fingers and I can’t
get a single word out.
I can’t wait any longer and beg him to hurry. He pauses only to ask if it’s safe and
when I assure him it is, he is inside me in a single stroke. I close my eyes and revel
in the feelings he’s bringing to me. We easily capture our old rhythm and fall over
the edge together in no time at all. We lay together, spent and exhausted, bodies
still joined but no words are spoken.
To say I have imagined this moment a few times would be understating things quite
a bit. But it is both more and less than I imagined. The feelings and the sensations
are overwhelming to me. Having Josh worship my body with his is amazing and as
always, his perfectionist streak comes through. But in my imaginings I also conjured
visions of Josh and I sharing words of love and FINALLY talking out all the issues
from our roller coaster past. There is none of that.
He kisses my forehead as he withdraws from my body. “Tomorrow is going to be a
very long day. We should probably try to get some sleep, huh?” he suggests
looking at me with an awkward expression on his face. Oh, God, is he regretting
this? Is he suggesting I go back to my room? What do I do now?
“Sleep is good.” I answer neutrally and get at least part of an answer to my internal
questions when he pulls the blanket up over my shoulders to keep me from getting
cold. Okay, I’ll take that as he’s fine with me staying. Maybe we’ll just cuddle and fall
asleep. That wouldn’t be quite as good as the talking, but he’s right. We’ve got a
heavy schedule ahead of us and falling asleep in each other’s arms is the second
best alternative.
Then he rolls over so his back is to me and goes to sleep…Third choice anyone?
This is crazy. I can’t sleep now with all these doubts in my head. Was it all just
physical for him? I mean, I know he cares about me, maybe even loves me still, but
a woman wants to know a man is IN LOVE with her when they finally make love. Oh,
God, was it making love for him or just sex? My mind goes back to our conversation
in the bar. Ronna mentioning he would have had an easier time of it if he had ‘come
onboard’. His conversation with me about campaign flings. Is that how he sees this?
I know he’s attracted to me, but is that all it was; taking advantage of a mutual
attraction in the heat of an intense campaign?
Obviously, Josh has had far more experience in campaigns than I have. Maybe this
is par for the course for him. I’ll just have to be careful not to let on that this is
anything other than a fling. I can be just as sophisticated a national political
operative as he can. With that thought, I roll over myself but sleep does not come. I
figure if I just wait awhile until he’s deeply asleep, I can sneak out of here and
regroup…
Someday, we’re bound to get the timing right…