Donna’s Diary November 2005 part 2
“What the hell?” Ronna mutters as Secret Service agents come running from all
directions.”
“That’s not good at all.” I respond. “Where’s the Congressman?” I shout.
“He and Mrs. Santos are on their way here.” Lou shouts back. “ETA 10-15 minutes.”
“Then what…” I start to follow the commotion down the hall. My steps get faster as I
realize the commotion is outside Leo’s suite. “No…”
At that point a gurney comes rushing down the hall from another direction and the
Secret Service escorts them in. I try to see inside but I’m not allowed in and all I can
make out is Leo lying on the gurney with his eyes closed. Mallory is at his side
talking to him and crying. Please, please, no…
They move him out with a speed that underlies the urgency of their mission. As
they pass me by they’re calling out medical information to one another; none of it
sounds good to me.
Annabeth is one of the last to leave and I grab her arm.
“Annabeth, oh my God, what happened?!” Her face is streaked with tears and her
breaths are coming in gulps. By this time, Lou has joined us in the hallway.
“I came in… to wake him up for the returns… and I couldn’t find him. Then I looked
in the bathroom… and he was laying there… unconscious. He wasn’t…breathing,
Donna!”
“Keep your voice down.” Lou warns her.
“Lou!” I nearly explode. Leo is unconscious and not breathing and she’s worrying
about the political ramifications? Even Josh wouldn’t…God, Josh…
“Keep your voices down.” Lou orders again. “Annabeth, I’m assuming you’re going
to the hospital?” Annabeth nods her head jerkily. “Go.” Annabeth doesn’t think
twice but leaves us at a run. “I’ll go meet the Congressman and Mrs. Santos to fill
them in when they arrive. You need to go find Josh. Do it in person. Do NOT call
him with this news, you have to be with him to control…whatever comes from him.
Hurry.”
“I can’t.” I refuse and step back. “I can’t!” I tell her more firmly when she looks at me
with a shocked expression. “You don’t understand. I was the one who had to tell
him his father died on the night of the Illinois Primary. I can’t do that again. Not
when Leo is like his second father.”
“Donna.” Lou speaks quietly and firmly, moving closer to put a hand on my arm.
“Pull it together. We don’t know what’s happening to Leo right now, we don’t know
what the outcome of the election is yet. Polls are still open on the west coast. We
need to get our campaign manager on this immediately. Go. Find. Josh.” I nod
reluctantly and walk away to find Josh.
When I do, I can’t get the words out. He teases me a bit about leaving him with the
DNC guys too long, then he sees the expression on my face and stops cold. Do I
look like I did in Illinois? Maybe not. I barely knew Josh then. Now, we have nearly
10 years of history between us. Now we’re lovers. I take a deep breath and tell him
everything I know.
We race to the hospital in a cab and I can feel the impatience coming off Josh in
waves. I take his hand in mine and squeeze. He doesn’t squeeze back but he
doesn’t let go of my hand either.
We rush through the hospital impatiently ride the elevator to the correct floor, and
finally find Annabeth. She’s the one that has to deliver the tragic news this time;
Leo’s dead. Josh folds his arms around her when she flings herself into them. I
step up from behind them and rub his back gently. I can feel his body shake with
the tears. Finally, he releases her and pulls me into his arms. I whisper God knows
what into his ears, uncertain that he hears even one word.
Suddenly his arms drop away from me and stares behind me. I turn to see what
garnered that reaction and see Mallory standing there with a nurse. When she
looks up she stops mid-sentence and runs over to us. She cries hysterically and
Josh takes over the role of caretaker just as I had been taking care of him a
moment ago. He holds her tightly and tells her he’s sorry he asked Leo to take on
this huge role in the campaign. She shakes her head and tells him she’d never
seen her father so happy before.
He maneuvers her to a couch in the waiting area and the two of them talk about
immediate plans. I just sit next to them, watch and listen. Once they move past the
details of what needs to be done next, they drift into their favorite Leo stories.
Mallory talks about her father having the New York Times on his speed dial so that
he could complain about the crossword puzzles. Josh mentions a time during the
original Bartlet for America campaign when he fired everyone but Toby because he
just ‘knew’ they weren’t going to work with ‘his guy’.
Josh tries to include me at this point and asks me what my favorite memory of Leo
is.
“I don’t know if I could pick just one.” I admit. “I’ll never forget how compassionate
he was to me, and to you, when I came to him concerned about you that Christmas.
Or how he arranged a helicopter to take me to the Washington Inn so I wouldn’t
miss my Christmas vacation.”
“Yeah, that was really special.” Josh drawls and I elbow him which makes Mallory
chuckle.
“When he gave you permission to come to Germany, I was never so grateful to him
for anything in my life.” I admit quietly. “But hands down, my favorite memories of
Leo, are all about his Big Block of Cheese Days.” I decide.
Mallory and Josh both moan and roll their eyes, but they laugh too.
“Cartographers for social equality.” Josh notes.
“How about the ‘Wolves Only Highway’?” Mallory responds.
“All the groups were hysterical, but what I loved was the ‘Big Block of Cheese Day
speech’.”I admit.
“YOU are responsible for him giving the speech all the time?” Josh asks in
astonishment.
“I’m sure I wasn’t. I just told him how much I enjoyed it each time he gave it.” I
answer innocently.
“And?” Josh pressed.
“How much you hated it each time he gave it. I can’t be sure which statement
motivated him the most.” I shrug and Mallory lets out a full belly laugh.
“I can!” Mallory continues laughing.
Josh tries to look indignant at both of us, but fails miserably. It’s too good to feel
some lighthearted laughter right now.
A nurse comes to us to let us know Mallory’s mother in on the phone at the nurse’s
station. She takes a deep breath and goes to take the call. When she returns she
tells us her mother will not be flying down.
“I’ll go down and get us all some coffee.” I offer.
“You’re going to bring me coffee?” Josh questions and Mallory hits him on the
shoulder.
“Donna is trying to take care of you. A job that she excels at and that no one else
can manage. Someday, you’ll realize just what you’ve got here in front of you.”
Mallory predicts and I feel a blush climbing up my face.
“Believe me when I tell you that I already do.” He admits softly looking straight into
my eyes.
“Well, well…” Mallory smiled serenely. “Wouldn’t dad have loved to hear this?”
“Maybe…” Josh answers still looking at me.
“No maybe about it.” Mallory disagrees. “Why do you think he encouraged you to
go to Germany?” We both startle at that thought. Leo playing matchmaker?
Inconceivable!
“You two should get back to the Congressman. You need to get my father elected
Vice President tonight.” Mallory smiles through her tears.
We each give her a hug but decide to stay downstairs until her husband and son
arrive.
There’s certainly sadness between us, but there’s a peace too. For myself, I’ve just
gotten an answer to the question that has been plaguing my brain since we first
made love last night. It’s not just physical for him. He would never have said what
he did about me, especially in front of Mallory, if it was.
We sit together in the entrance to the hospital with our arms around each other;
neither of us speaking a word. We don’t need words, we never have I guess. But
when all ‘this’ is over, the votes are counted and we have some answers to our
professional questions, it will be time for us to say those words and chart our
course personally. That’s for tomorrow.