September 2005
I’m in the arms of a man that I adore, but all I can think of is the man hugging
Annabeth right now. Leo pulls back from our embrace.
“You’re doing great, kid.” He tells me with a smile and pride showing in his eyes. I can’
t help but wonder what he’d think if he knew that just seconds before he and the rest
of the Santos campaign burst in here, Josh and I were engaged in the steamiest kiss
of my life. I’m still in shock myself.
It started when we read the latest national polls. For the first time in the history of this
race, they showed that we were tied nationally! We all ran through the halls, waking
everyone up to spread the news. I had to knock twice before Josh answered the
door. I gave him the update and in his natural excitement, he took my face in his
hands and kissed me. It was like a huge volt of electricity passed through my entire
body and from the look on his face, he felt the same.
Then there was this pause as we each realized what we had just done. Whatever has
happened to us over the last year, we still have the ability to read each other’s minds,
because without another word or sound we both moved together again to explore
one another’s mouths and bodies. For a man who works in an office, he certainly has
muscles, but my hands moved quickly into his unruly brown hair. He moaned while I
massaged his neck and scalp with my fingers. My body bent further into his when he
used those muscular arms engulfed me and pulled my body tightly against his. He
was only in an unbuttoned shirt and boxers so I could feel his body react to mine. The
heat was coming off of him in waves. The heat had a very predictable reaction on my
body too. His hand was just snaking up to take my breast when we hear the
Congressman and the rest of the crew calling for Josh. We broke apart quickly, still
breathing heavily, and were a good 3 feet away from each other when the gang
busted in.
It’s very exciting news and I’m thrilled about the campaign, but at the moment I’m
much more…excited about the answer to a question that’s been burning in my head
for nearly a decade: Does Josh Lyman want me? Oh yes, he certainly does.
***************************************************
I made a decision on my way back to the hotel tonight. After some time at the White
House and some time to process that incredible kiss this morning…was it really only
this morning? I have decided to take matters into my own hands…literally, I hope.
I had this awkward conversation with Will at the White House today. I started out by
asking if he thought certain relationships were inappropriate, he misunderstood and
comedy ensued. Then he made some comment about visiting my old desk for
sentimental reasons and I glibly responded that there wasn’t a lot of nostalgia there.
Then, after a conversation with C.J. I found myself wandering back into the
operations bullpen. I stopped down the hall from where Josh and I used to work
together and just stared. That’s when it hit me. It wasn’t that there wasn’t much
nostalgia there, it was that there was too much nostalgia there. We had YEARS of
amazing experiences in and around this part of the building. Highs and lows and
everything in between happened right here.
How it all ended colored how I felt about the entire experience and that wasn’t fair. I
was so angry that he didn’t take that next step when we got back from Germany. I
was so angry that he didn’t help me advance in my job. I was so angry that I did the
one thing I swore to him (and myself) I’d never do…leave him. But what I was really
angry about was that I thought he’d once again pulled a bait and switch on me. That
he led me to believe he had feelings only to pretend later that the whole thing was my
imagination. How I left sucked, and I still feel guilt over it, but it wasn’t the sum total of
the experience we had here.
I saw all the busy people there scurrying around, but other images became
superimposed over them: Josh giving me a book with a priceless dedication, sitting in
his office while he suggested putting me on a stamp, waiting for him to get out of an
all day meeting on Christmas Eve, welcoming him back after his leave of absence
from Rosslyn, the celebratory drink we shared with Toby and C.J. when the shutdown
was over. I wouldn’t let those incredible moments be drowned out again by the last
few hours, maybe weeks, we worked here together.
So with a renewed sense of purpose, I go down to the hotel bar where I knew the rest
of the Santos crew would be gathering for a nightcap. I try to remain calm and
carefree, but inside my heart is beating double time while I wait for him to show up,
like some high school freshman with a crush on the captain of the football team.
Finally, he arrives and sits across from me. He’s joking with Bram a bit, but our eyes
are locked. When he drags his eyes from mine, they travel down the length of my
body and back up again before focusing on my lips. My entire body shivers from the
explicit message in them. That only strengthens my resolve. As casually as I can
manage, I slip the envelope with my room key across the table toward Josh. His eyes
widen and his pupils darken. I make my excuse to leave for the night and try to walk
away before my knees give out. Josh wants me and he’s going to have me very
shortly.
I nearly get to the elevator before Edie catches me and hands the envelope with the
key in it back to me. My head swings around to look at Josh and he’s sitting there with
a look on his face I can’t quite interpret. What the hell? Immeasurably disappointed, I
go straight up to my room while Edie blathers on about…something.
Back in my room I order a movie (since it’s the only form of entertainment I’m likely to
get) and I’m nearly done with it when Edie knocks on my door.
“Hey, Donna, I forgot. Josh asked me to give this to you so you could look at it before
tomorrow.”
“Aren’t you sick of running his errands all night, Edie?”
“What errands? This was it.”
“How about returning my key to me?” I remind her.
“Josh didn’t ask me to do that. I noticed it on the table and rushed to get it to you
before you got on the elevator.”
“Josh didn’t pick it up and give it to you?” I confirm.
“His hand never got near it. Why?” She asks suspiciously.
“God, Edie, I couldn’t even tell you. I’m so exhausted I can’t even think straight, you
know?”
“THAT I can relate to.” Edie immediately relaxes thinking my brain is simply friend.
“Put that away for tonight and get some sleep. You can look it over in the morning.”
She advises.
“I think I will.” I reply and shut the door firmly before I run to my suitcase and put on
some clothes I can walk around the hotel in. I have a pretty good idea of where I’ll find
Joshua.
As predicted, he’s drinking in the hotel bar by himself. He’s pretty good and toasted
by the time I arrive. We have a ridiculous discussion, which he will no doubt have no
memory of come morning, and I walk him back to his room and tuck him in, despite
my earlier assertion that he’ll tuck himself in; he won’t remember it anyway. Tired, I lie
down next to him and fall into a comfortable sleep after setting the alarm on my cell
phone. Someday, we’re bound to get the timing right…