Title: Government Issued ID
Author: Cathy Miller (www.cathyswestwing.com)
Rating: Everyone
Timeline: Post Santos Administration
Feedback: Crave it like chocolate
He was going to be late; very late. Though in his defense, it really wasn’t his fault.
“Shut up, Donna.” He told the voice contradicting him in his head.
He parked in the first available spot. This was one of those times that he really
missed having a detail drive him around.
He walked swiftly inside and followed the signs directing him until he got to a
folding table with the letters L-P taped to the front of it.
“Your name please?” The older woman requested.
“Josh Lyman.” Josh responded and bounced on the balls of his feet while he
waited impatiently for the woman to locate his name.
“Josh Lyman? I’m sorry; you’re not on my list. Is it possible that you’re in the wrong
polling place?”
“Is it possible that- No, that’s not possible.” Josh bit off. “We just recently moved
here, and I accidentally went to our old polling place first. They looked up my
address and directed me here. I’m in the right place. Look again.”
“I have a Donnatella Lyman registered, but no Josh Lyman.” The woman replied.
“Yes, Donnatella is my wife. We live together. I’m in the right place.” Josh insisted.
“Where is your wife?” the woman asked.
“At home. What does it matter where- Can I please have my registration card so
that I can vote and get to a very important meeting?”
“I’m asking about your wife, sir, because she could vouch for you and get you
registered, since you are currently not registered now.”
“Look, Lady-“
“Myrtle.” The woman corrected him pointing to her name tag.
“Right. I would just like to vote so I can get on with my day.” Josh stated.
“I can register you now. I’ll just need to see a Government issued ID with your
current address.” Myrtle smiled politely.
“I haven’t exactly gotten around to changing my driver’s license to our new
address yet.” Josh admitted.
“I see.” Myrtle’s mouth moved into a disappointed frown. “When did you move,
sir?”
“Uh, 3…no 4 months ago now.” Josh answered. “Why?”
“That’s good. Then you’ll have a utility bill from your current address to establish
your residency in the precinct. Although legally, you’re supposed to change your
driver’s license address within 90 days.” Myrtle informed him.
“Thanks. You think I walk around with a utility bill in my pocket on the off chance
that a moronic bureaucrat failed to properly register me in the correct precinct?”
Josh’s voice got a little louder.
“I was merely giving you an option for registering, sir.” Myrtle’s voice became
pinched. “In the absence of pre-registering, you can have another resident vouch
for you, you can register by using a current utility bill in your name, or you can do
same day registration with a Government issued ID with your current address
listed on it.”
“Listen, Myrtle, I served as the White House Chief of Staff- “ Josh began.
“If that’s true, you should really be familiar with the election laws already, shouldn’t
you?” Myrtle countered.
“If that’s true?!” Josh’s voice rang out in a bellow that Donna would be quick to
recognize as the last indicator light before Mount Joshua blew volcanic ash
everywhere.
“I can let you fill out a provisional ballot.” Myrtle continued, unfazed. “It won’t be
counted for a couple weeks though, until your residency is established.”
“That’s not acceptable.” Josh replied between gritted teeth.
“Then you can come back later and vote once you have a utility bill in your name
with you…or you could bring your wife back to vouch for you.”
“I can’t come back later. I am supposed to be on my way to D.C. right now where
the chairman of the Democratic National Committee is waiting to meet with me and
then I’m supposed to get on a flight to go to California from there.”
“Then I’m afraid you can’t vote, sir.” Myrtle turned to the woman behind Josh.
“Can I help you, Ma’am?” Myrtle asked her.
“No, wait. I’m not done here.” Josh interrupted. “I vote in every election. I vote for
school board, I vote for city council, and I vote in Federal elections where my best
friend is running for re-election as President of the United States.” Josh shouted
and the entire polling place went still and silent.
“Without a Government issued ID, I can only offer you a provisional ballot, sir.”
Myrtle held steadfast.
Josh looked at the growing crowd behind him and the Police Officer moving closer
to his table and decided discretion was the better part of valor. “Fine. Give it to
me.” Josh bit out and after filling out the requisite paperwork, received his
provisional ballot.
He was in the process of filling it out when his cell phone rang.
“Where are you?” Donna asked.
For a split second, he considered lying to his wife.
“I’m voting.” He said succinctly.
“It is that busy there? You left ages ago.”
“It’s taking awhile.” Josh replied.
“You went to the old place didn’t you?” Josh could hear the smirk in his wife’s
voice.
“I’ve been going there for years, Donna.” Josh protested.
“Uh-huh.” Donna smothered a laugh. “It must be difficult to get a ballot for our
precinct when you haven’t updated your driver’s license.”
“This is really not the time-“ Josh started.
“Which is why I slipped our electric bill into your coat pocket.” Donna interrupted
him and Josh blew out a breath.
“I take back every mean thing I was thinking in my head about you right now.”
Josh told her.
“At least you’ve learned to keep it in your head.” Donna noted and listened to her
husband triumphantly return to Myrtle’s table.
“Myrtle, look! I’ve got a utility bill in my name with my current address.” Josh
proclaimed.
“That’s wonderful, Mr. Lyman.” Myrtle beamed. “Now I’ll just need to see a
Government issued ID to prove your identity.”
Josh reached into his pocket for his wallet and came up empty. Oh. God.
“I…uh…I’m sure it’s here, somewhere. I’d need it to board my flight later.” Josh
stalled and continued to futilely search all his pockets. “I had it this morning, I
know.”
“Without the Government issued ID, I’m afraid we’re back to the provisional ballot.”
Myrtle clucked her tongue in disappointment.
“Son of a- “ Josh turned away from the table, his cell phone still at his ear and
spotted Donna leaning against the entryway holding his wallet between her thumb
and forefinger; swinging it back and forth. He closed his cell phone and
approached his wife.
“How nice to see you again before I leave.” Josh smiled.
“I can’t stay away.”
“I do have that effect.”
Josh reached for the wallet, but Donna pulled it away.
“I want an apology first.” She stated.
“For what exactly? Forgetting my wallet?”
“For not listening to me when I reminded you to send in your voter registration, for
ignoring me when I said you had to update your driver’s license, and for cutting
me off earlier when I was asking if you had your wallet with you.” Donna recited.
“Oh. That.” Josh replied lamely. “I’m sorry.” He dutifully stated.
“When you speak to Sam about this, speak kindly of the election workers. They’re
volunteers and they’re only doing their job.”
“Why in the world do you think I would ever mention this calamity of events to
Sam? He’d never let me live it down!” Josh shook his head.
“You may not really have a choice.” Donna said as she backed out of the room.
“You already told Ainsley?” Josh shrieked.
“It may have slipped out. At least you can vote now.” She pointed out. “Love you,
bye!”
Josh resignedly walked back to the registration table. “Good news. I have my
Government issued ID.”
The End.
Author: Cathy Miller (www.cathyswestwing.com)
Rating: Everyone
Timeline: Post Santos Administration
Feedback: Crave it like chocolate
He was going to be late; very late. Though in his defense, it really wasn’t his fault.
“Shut up, Donna.” He told the voice contradicting him in his head.
He parked in the first available spot. This was one of those times that he really
missed having a detail drive him around.
He walked swiftly inside and followed the signs directing him until he got to a
folding table with the letters L-P taped to the front of it.
“Your name please?” The older woman requested.
“Josh Lyman.” Josh responded and bounced on the balls of his feet while he
waited impatiently for the woman to locate his name.
“Josh Lyman? I’m sorry; you’re not on my list. Is it possible that you’re in the wrong
polling place?”
“Is it possible that- No, that’s not possible.” Josh bit off. “We just recently moved
here, and I accidentally went to our old polling place first. They looked up my
address and directed me here. I’m in the right place. Look again.”
“I have a Donnatella Lyman registered, but no Josh Lyman.” The woman replied.
“Yes, Donnatella is my wife. We live together. I’m in the right place.” Josh insisted.
“Where is your wife?” the woman asked.
“At home. What does it matter where- Can I please have my registration card so
that I can vote and get to a very important meeting?”
“I’m asking about your wife, sir, because she could vouch for you and get you
registered, since you are currently not registered now.”
“Look, Lady-“
“Myrtle.” The woman corrected him pointing to her name tag.
“Right. I would just like to vote so I can get on with my day.” Josh stated.
“I can register you now. I’ll just need to see a Government issued ID with your
current address.” Myrtle smiled politely.
“I haven’t exactly gotten around to changing my driver’s license to our new
address yet.” Josh admitted.
“I see.” Myrtle’s mouth moved into a disappointed frown. “When did you move,
sir?”
“Uh, 3…no 4 months ago now.” Josh answered. “Why?”
“That’s good. Then you’ll have a utility bill from your current address to establish
your residency in the precinct. Although legally, you’re supposed to change your
driver’s license address within 90 days.” Myrtle informed him.
“Thanks. You think I walk around with a utility bill in my pocket on the off chance
that a moronic bureaucrat failed to properly register me in the correct precinct?”
Josh’s voice got a little louder.
“I was merely giving you an option for registering, sir.” Myrtle’s voice became
pinched. “In the absence of pre-registering, you can have another resident vouch
for you, you can register by using a current utility bill in your name, or you can do
same day registration with a Government issued ID with your current address
listed on it.”
“Listen, Myrtle, I served as the White House Chief of Staff- “ Josh began.
“If that’s true, you should really be familiar with the election laws already, shouldn’t
you?” Myrtle countered.
“If that’s true?!” Josh’s voice rang out in a bellow that Donna would be quick to
recognize as the last indicator light before Mount Joshua blew volcanic ash
everywhere.
“I can let you fill out a provisional ballot.” Myrtle continued, unfazed. “It won’t be
counted for a couple weeks though, until your residency is established.”
“That’s not acceptable.” Josh replied between gritted teeth.
“Then you can come back later and vote once you have a utility bill in your name
with you…or you could bring your wife back to vouch for you.”
“I can’t come back later. I am supposed to be on my way to D.C. right now where
the chairman of the Democratic National Committee is waiting to meet with me and
then I’m supposed to get on a flight to go to California from there.”
“Then I’m afraid you can’t vote, sir.” Myrtle turned to the woman behind Josh.
“Can I help you, Ma’am?” Myrtle asked her.
“No, wait. I’m not done here.” Josh interrupted. “I vote in every election. I vote for
school board, I vote for city council, and I vote in Federal elections where my best
friend is running for re-election as President of the United States.” Josh shouted
and the entire polling place went still and silent.
“Without a Government issued ID, I can only offer you a provisional ballot, sir.”
Myrtle held steadfast.
Josh looked at the growing crowd behind him and the Police Officer moving closer
to his table and decided discretion was the better part of valor. “Fine. Give it to
me.” Josh bit out and after filling out the requisite paperwork, received his
provisional ballot.
He was in the process of filling it out when his cell phone rang.
“Where are you?” Donna asked.
For a split second, he considered lying to his wife.
“I’m voting.” He said succinctly.
“It is that busy there? You left ages ago.”
“It’s taking awhile.” Josh replied.
“You went to the old place didn’t you?” Josh could hear the smirk in his wife’s
voice.
“I’ve been going there for years, Donna.” Josh protested.
“Uh-huh.” Donna smothered a laugh. “It must be difficult to get a ballot for our
precinct when you haven’t updated your driver’s license.”
“This is really not the time-“ Josh started.
“Which is why I slipped our electric bill into your coat pocket.” Donna interrupted
him and Josh blew out a breath.
“I take back every mean thing I was thinking in my head about you right now.”
Josh told her.
“At least you’ve learned to keep it in your head.” Donna noted and listened to her
husband triumphantly return to Myrtle’s table.
“Myrtle, look! I’ve got a utility bill in my name with my current address.” Josh
proclaimed.
“That’s wonderful, Mr. Lyman.” Myrtle beamed. “Now I’ll just need to see a
Government issued ID to prove your identity.”
Josh reached into his pocket for his wallet and came up empty. Oh. God.
“I…uh…I’m sure it’s here, somewhere. I’d need it to board my flight later.” Josh
stalled and continued to futilely search all his pockets. “I had it this morning, I
know.”
“Without the Government issued ID, I’m afraid we’re back to the provisional ballot.”
Myrtle clucked her tongue in disappointment.
“Son of a- “ Josh turned away from the table, his cell phone still at his ear and
spotted Donna leaning against the entryway holding his wallet between her thumb
and forefinger; swinging it back and forth. He closed his cell phone and
approached his wife.
“How nice to see you again before I leave.” Josh smiled.
“I can’t stay away.”
“I do have that effect.”
Josh reached for the wallet, but Donna pulled it away.
“I want an apology first.” She stated.
“For what exactly? Forgetting my wallet?”
“For not listening to me when I reminded you to send in your voter registration, for
ignoring me when I said you had to update your driver’s license, and for cutting
me off earlier when I was asking if you had your wallet with you.” Donna recited.
“Oh. That.” Josh replied lamely. “I’m sorry.” He dutifully stated.
“When you speak to Sam about this, speak kindly of the election workers. They’re
volunteers and they’re only doing their job.”
“Why in the world do you think I would ever mention this calamity of events to
Sam? He’d never let me live it down!” Josh shook his head.
“You may not really have a choice.” Donna said as she backed out of the room.
“You already told Ainsley?” Josh shrieked.
“It may have slipped out. At least you can vote now.” She pointed out. “Love you,
bye!”
Josh resignedly walked back to the registration table. “Good news. I have my
Government issued ID.”
The End.
