Title: Holiday Hell - Halloween
“Are you sure it isn’t your turn to take the kids?” Josh asked again.
“Nope, it’s your turn.” Donna confirmed and shared a smile with her
mother-in-law Ruth.
“It’s just that there’s 3 of them, so I can’t hold all their hands and I’
m afraid I might lose one of them.”
“I’ll get you a leash for Jacob.” Ruth offered indicating her
youngest grandchild.
Josh turned a smirk on his mother. “Thanks, Mom…Hey, maybe you’
d like to-“
“Dream on, son. I’m going upstairs for a bath. Then I’m going to curl
up with the new book I got at Barnes and Noble and go to bed
early.” Ruth informed him. “I’d get a hat and a scarf, Joshua. It’s
very cold tonight.”
“Is it time yet? Can we go now?” Ally asked jumping up and down.
“It’s not quite dark yet, Ally Cat.” Donna told her. “I’ll set the timer
and when it buzzes you’ll know it’s time to go.” Ally smiled and
danced around the room in her Princess costume.
“You’d better get ready. The timer will be going off in 15 minutes.”
Donna told her husband quietly. Josh sighed and went upstairs to
put on a few more layers of clothing. He hated being outside in the
snow. This was going to totally suck.
“Dad, I can’t tie the back of this thing. Can you do it?” Seven year
old Ben asked.
“Sure, buddy.” Josh turned him around and tied the neck of his son’
s Spiderman costume. “Are you sure you want to go trick or
treating? We could stay here and pass candy out at the door.”
“Daddy…” Ben rolled his eyes in a perfect imitation of his father. It
made Josh laugh.
“Fine. We’re going trick or treating.” Josh agreed.
“What are you going to go as?” Ben asked him.
“I’m going as a parent.” Josh replied.
“You have to have a mask at least.” Ben objected.
“I really don’t kiddo. Besides, I don’t have any masks.”
“You can use mine from last year.” His son offered and Josh racked
his brain to remember what his son had been last year. Then it
came to him.
“A pirate? You want me to dress up as a pirate?”
“You could do the hat and the eye patch, I lost the gold earring.”
Ben admitted.
“Thank God for small favors.” Josh muttered. “I’m not dressing up
as a pirate.”
“Well you need to find something.” Ben told him and left the room.
Then Josh had a thought. He knew what he could use, but he wasn’
t sure he could find it. Thank God for Donna and her organization
skills. It was in his college memorabilia box. He put in on and
climbed the stairs just as the buzzer went off.
“It’s time! It’s time.” Ally sang. 3 year old Jacob, looking like the stay
puff marshmallow man in his snowman costume, was dancing
alongside her.
“I’m ready.” Josh called to them and they both shrieked. Donna
took one look at him and burst into laughter.
“What is that, Dad?” Ben asked.
“That’s not Dad.” Jacob cowered next to Donna.
“Yes, it is Dad. Take that ridiculous thing off, Josh and show your
son your face.” Donna instructed. Josh pulled off the mask and
Jacob relaxed immediately.
“What is it, Dad?” Ben asked again taking the mask form Josh’s
hand.
“It’s Richard Nixon, buddy.” Josh explained.
“Oh, ick!” replied his well trained son. “Why would you wear a Nixon
mask?”
“Can you think of anything scarier than a corrupt Republican
President?” Josh shoots back.
Ben considered that for a moment. “I guess not. Let’s go.”
“Why don’t we review the rules before you head out?” Donna
suggested.
“Relax, we’ll be fine.” Josh assured her. “Let’s go gang, the sooner
we leave the sooner we can get back to a heated house.” Josh
took the youngest two by the hand, kissed his wife, and bravely
headed out into the elements.
“Should we call 911 now, or wait a few minutes?” Ruth asked Donna.
“Let’s give it a few minutes. He does have his cell phone with him.”
Donna decided.
“Okay, but I love all 3 of my grandchildren and I’ll be very
disappointed if they don’t all come back in one piece.”
****************************
They hadn’t been to three houses when Jacob got tired and wanted
his dad to carry him. Now a 3 year old was heavy enough to begin
with, but when you added the bulky snowman costume, it became
not only heavier but awkward to carry as well. When Josh
suggested that he could take Jacob back home, he started crying
and insisting he wanted to ‘twick or tweet’. So Josh carried him, but
he was getting further and further behind his other two children.
When Jacob started crying again, Josh pulled out a piece of candy
from his bag and unwrapped it for his youngest child. When the
other two saw Jacob was eating candy already they protested
loudly.
“Hey! No eating candy til we get home!” Ben noted the rule.
“Mommy has to check it first.”
“Then we only get four pieces.” Ally added her two cents.
“It’s fine.” Josh blew off their concerns. “I checked the candy and a
piece or two won’t hurt anybody.”
Ben and Ally exchanged glances. “Can we have some too?”
“Sure.” Josh approved the plan and the older two dug into their
bags as they walked to the next house. Since Josh was getting
tired from carrying Jacob, he let the two oldest children get a little
ahead of him and kept his eyes trained on ‘Spiderman’ which
worked exceptionally well until Jacob distracted him for a minute.
When Josh looked back up, there was a swarm of ‘Spidermen’ on
the dark sidewalk. By the time he remembered to look for a
Spiderman and a Princess, he couldn’t spot either of them.
His pace picked up but he still couldn’t see his children. He went
door to door asking if anyone had seen them, but didn’t have any
luck. Finally, panic overcame him and he practically ran home. He
pushed open the front door to see Ben and Ally standing in the
foyer; Ally crying, with Donna standing between them with her coat
on.
“There you are!” Donna said loudly. “I told you Daddy and J.J. were
fine. We were just about to head out and look for you and then
finish trick or treating.” Donna told her husband with a pointed
glance.
“I’m so sorry, Ally. I looked and looked but I couldn’t find you in the
crowd.”
“Can we still go trick or treating some more?” Ally asked wiping her
tears away.
“Sure. I’ll take you.” Josh promised. “Let’s leave Jacob here
though, okay?”
Josh set him on the ground, Jacob hiccupped once, then threw up
chocolate candy all over his pure white snowman costume.
“Gross…” Ben commented.
“I thought we had a ‘no eating candy until you get home’ rule?”
Donna asked the children.
“Daddy said it was okay.” Ally gave her father up like he was in the
mafia.
“Then Daddy will stay here and clean up J.J.” Donna decided with a
tight smile.
Josh attempted to clean the snowman costume while Jacob was in
the bath, but in the end, he called it hopeless and threw it in the
garbage…in the garage.
Once Jacob was dried off Josh brought him back downstairs to
take over door duty from his mother who had been recruited when
everything went to hell.
“There’s my boy.” Ruth held her arms out for Jacob who
immediately climbed on her lap and cuddled. “How’s your tummy,
kiddo?”
“Better.” Jacob admitted as the doorbell rang.
“You sit here and rock with Grandma Ruth. Daddy will get the
door.” Ruth declared.
Josh was almost out of candy, and Jacob was sound asleep in his
grandmother’s arms, when the doorbell rang again. When he
opened it, Ben and ally cried ‘trick or treat’ and made him laugh.
Ben was wearing the Richard Nixon mask that Josh had abandoned.
“Hey, you’ve got my mask on.” Josh pretended to be upset.
“I thought it would be more scarier than spiderman.”
“Was it?” Josh asked.
“Mostly people just laughed. I don’t think they know how evil that
guy was.” Ben gave his opinion.
“How’s Jacob?” Donna asked.
“Sound asleep. The costume’s totaled.” Josh admitted.
“NO!” Donna pretended shock. “Okay, you two. Get the costumes
off and pick your four pieces of candy.” The kids hurried to comply.
“I’m sorry, Donna.” Josh said once the kids had darted off to show
their grandma their spoils.
“Just tell me one thing. Did you do it on purpose? I mean, I know
you didn’t want to take the kids out, but-“
“NO! I swear.” Josh held up his right hand. “I was tired from
carrying Jacob, the kids got a little further away from me when I was
distracted with him. I felt horrible.”
“I’m just trying to figure out how a man who could help run an
entire country couldn’t survive an hour trick or treating with his
children.”
“I think it’s your fault actually. You always make the parenting thing
look so easy. Then I’m lulled into a false sense of security and fall
on my ass.”
“So this is my fault?” Donna laughed. “You’ve been in politics too
long. But that was an amazing job of spin.”
“So I’m forgiven?” he asked.
“Ally said you taught them what to do if you got separated and they
got home safely, so you’re off the hook for now.” Donna agreed and
pulled him into a hug.
“Thank God.” Josh let out a sigh. “I hate the holiday.”
The End.