Title: Letting Go
Author: Cathy Miller
Rating: PG for some language.
Disclaimer: Josh and Donna remain annoyingly someone else’s but Abigail Joan is all
mine.
Feedback: Nothing like feedback on a cool fall morning.
Category: Post series, Josh and Donna are in their second term of the Santos
administration and is a sort of prequel to another story of mine “Expectations” which
you can find at www.cathyswestwing.com if you are so inclined.
“But school isn’t over for another hour and a half.” Donna argued as she proofed the
First Lady’s statement on the new child wellness initiative.
“It’s preschool, Donna. What’s she going to miss; the Wheels on the Bus song?” Josh
scoffed. “A.J. can not only sing the Wheels on the Bus, but can identify 3 alternative
fuel sources for the damn bus.”
“Josh, you might want to revisit the language before you step foot into a preschool.”
His wife warned him.
“I haven’t seen her in almost 3 days!” Josh exploded into the phone.
“I know, but it’s not like you had much choice. When something comes up in the Sit
room you’re pretty much locked in until it’s done. We understand.” She tried to
placate him.
“I’m glad somebody does.” Josh muttered, but continued before Donna could
comment. “I’m picking her up early, we’re going out for lunch, and then we will join
you at home for rest and relaxation.”
“Fine, but I can’t get there before 2.” She warned him.
“Come when you can but the fun is starting way before that.” Josh replied and hung
up the phone.
“That’s a nice smile.” Helen Santos noted when she walked into her Chief of Staff’s
office.
“Josh is playing hooky the rest of the day with A.J..” Donna told her.
“Good for him. He and Matt have been living here the past few days.” Helen added.
“You should go join them.”
“I will as soon as I can clean up the last few things you have slated for tomorrow.
Besides, this gives them a little alone time; just daddy and his girl.” Donna shared.
“Sounds good, but don’t leave them alone too long. I have learned through
experience that leaving guys alone with the children always ends up with messes for
the women to clean up.” Helen advised.
****************************************
When Josh’s town car drew up to the pre-school, a smile blossomed on Josh’s face.
The school was an overdose of sweetness and light, which considering how Josh had
spent his last few days, seemed just right. He couldn’t wait to see the look on A.J.’s
face when she spotted him through the pre-school window. Josh closed his folder and
threw it into his backpack, determined not to look at or think about work again until
after A.J. went to bed that night.
One of his Secret Service agents, Donaldson, opened the door for him, while the
second agent (Wilkins) walked ahead to sweep the school entrance. Just as they
approached the door, the fire alarm sounded. Donaldson, immediately moved to step
in front of his protectee, but Josh had a slight head start on him and had broken out
into a run; bee-lining to the school doors.
“Mr. Lyman! Mr. Lyman, Stop! JOSH!” Donaldson forgot his directive to call his
protectee Mr. Lyman or sir. “Josh, Wilkins will get A.J.! You have to wait here.”
Donaldson made a grab for Josh’s arm, but Josh slipped away from him. “Josh!”
Blind and deaf to anything and anyone except his daughter, Josh continued moving
through the hall as lines of small children were herded towards the nearest exit.
Donaldson was about to simply tackle Josh when two things happened
simultaneously; Donaldson got an update through his earpiece that it was a fire
DRILL, and Josh caught sight of his daughter.
“A.J.!” Josh choked out and picked his daughter right out of the line while he quickly
turned around to exit the building.
“Daddy! I’m supposed to stay in line and no talking.” A.J. told him.
“It’s okay.” Josh assured her.
“Mr. Lyman, it’s a drill.” Donaldson told him while they left the building at a semi-run,
but the information didn’t slow the Chief of Staff down one bit. It wasn’t until they were
out and across the street that Josh stopped and more or less collapsed on the curb;
holding A.J. so tightly she was starting to protest.
“Wilkins, let Miss Sarah know we have one of her students over here.” Donaldson
advised.
“Yes, sir.” Wilkins agreed and went to find A.J.’s teacher.
“Daddy, you messed up the fire drill. Now I’m not going to get my sticker.” A.J.
complained.
“Your sticker?” Josh.
“Miss Sarah and Miss Liz said if we were really quiet and stayed in line for the drill, we’
d get a sticker.” A.J. explained.
“Sorry, kiddo. I didn’t know about the drill. I thought it was a real fire.” Josh replied, his
heart still stuck in his throat. “How about if I talk to your teachers and tell them it was
my fault?”
“I don’t know…” A.J. sounded doubtful, but then gave in to the urge she’d had since
she first spotted her dad in the hall and tucked her head under his chin. “I missed
you, daddy.”
“I missed you too, Abigail Joan. I missed you so much!” He kissed her head and
squeezed her until she squealed. “Come on, I’ll talk to your teacher about the drill
and then I’ll break you out of here for a special lunch; just you and me.” And our
Secret Service detail, Josh muttered inside his head.
Josh set her down but still held firmly onto her hand as they crossed the street to
meet her teacher and the rest of her class.
“Mr. Lyman, hello. Sorry for the confusion earlier.” Miss Sarah said when they drew
up alongside her.
“It was my fault.” Josh admitted. “I jumped to conclusions and now my daughter is
concerned that I’ve made her ineligible for the fire drill sticker.”
Miss Sara’s lips twitched. “Hmmm. A.J. is right, we did say that everyone who wanted
to get a sticker needed to stay quiet and stay in line. But what did we say was the
most important rule, A.J.?”
“Listen to adults to get out safe.” She dutifully replied.
“That’s exactly right, and that’s just what you did. You listened to your dad and his
agents.” Sara told her.
“So I can still get a sticker?” A.J. asked hopefully.
“Absolutely.” Miss Sara agreed and handed one to her.
“Can daddy have one too?” A.J. asked.
“Well, he did get out safely and quietly.” Miss Sara responded and awarded a fire
dog sticker to the White House Chief of Staff.
“Thanks. I was planning to take A.J. to lunch. Is it okay to take her now?” Josh
checked.
“She’s your daughter, Mr. Lyman, you can take her whenever you like.” Liz smiled. “A.
J. are you ready for a special lunch with dad?”
“Yes!” She jumped up in the air.
“Where are we off to, Abigail Joan?” Josh asked her when Miss Sara brought them A.
J.’s school bag.
“McDonald’s!” A.J, announced as if it weren’t obvious. Donna was rarely talked into
fast food, so A.J. discovered early on who the weak link was regarding the golden
arches.
“McDonald’s it is.” Josh confirmed.
**********************************
When Donna got home she found a very excited daughter and a rather subdued
husband playing domino’s; A.J. sitting in Josh’s lap.
“Hello, you two. How was your afternoon?” she asked.
“Great, we went to McDonald’s and played baseball, and I got a sticker even though
Daddy pulled me out of my fire drill line, see?” A.J. held it up for Donna to inspect it
but Donna barely spared it a glance.
“I totally forgot they were doing that today... Josh, I’m sorry.” Donna said quietly and
watched him shrug.
“Isn’t it cool, mommy?” A.J. kept shoving the sticker closer to Donna’s face, until
Donna acknowledged it.
“It’s a very nice sticker, A.J. Why don’t you go put it into your sticker book?” Donna
suggested. A.J. was more Donna’s child than Josh’s when it came to organization. A.
J. had a special sticker book that she and Donna had made together which was
divided by colored pages with different sticker categories. A.J. rushed off to get her
book and add her new trophy to it after her dad reluctantly let her go.
“Josh?” Donna sat next to him while he picked up the domino’s. “I just forgot. I never
imagined you’d be picking her up at all let alone early on a day they were having a
drill.”
“Yeah…what are the odds I’d be picking her up at all, right?” Josh scoffed and put
the lid on the domino box.
“Is this about the drill or something else?” Donna asked.
“I can’t even tell you what ran through my head when the alarm went off. I just went
on autopilot; I had to get to A.J.”
“It sounds like you did.” Donna noted.
“Yeah, and earned myself another lecture from Donaldson about it. Are you sure he
works for me and not the other way around?” Josh queried.
“It’s a unique relationship.” Donna replied.
“I got her and took her across the street to the curb, and practically fell down. By then
I knew it was a drill, but I still couldn’t get my heart to slow down.” Josh admitted and
Donna drew his head down into her lap so she could listen and rub his forehead. “I
know I overreacted, I knew it at the time, but I just couldn’t stop. It’s like in some part
of my brain it was Joanie and if I could just run fast enough and be brave enough, I
could save her. It was just a primal instinct; get her and pull her out.”
“You were just a little boy then, Josh.” Donna murmured.
“I know. Intellectually, I know that, but when I heard that alarm… anyway…” Josh
trailed off and chuckled. “Did you know A.J. brought in a Bartlet for America button for
sharing today?”
“I did. Her sharing selection goes through committee first. She doesn’t like to bring in
anything that someone else might bring in. It’s a big deal to her.”
“How come I’m not on that committee?” Josh asked indignantly.
“Because sharing is on Wednesday and Tuesday nights you have-“
“DOD meetings.” Josh finished lamely then looked up the stairs waiting for the
pounding of feet that would announce his daughters’ return. “How long can it take her
to get a sticker book?”
“Josh? She’s fine.” Donna assured him.
“Yeah…” he replied morosely. What a shitty week. “This is the first time I’ve been
able to let her out of my sight since the alarm went off.”
“We can’t protect her from everything, Josh. It’s the scariest part of being a parent.”
“There really should be something we can do about that. What about home schooling
her?”
“Oh, that’s brilliant.” Donna said sarcastically.
“I could teach her about history and Government, and you could, you know, teach
her the other stuff.” He reasoned even as he heard his daughter coming down the
stairs.
“You need to let go, Josh. of A.J. and Joanie.” Donna advised him.
“Who’s Joanie?” A.J. asked right on cue.
Josh took a deep breath and sat up patting the spot between him and Donna. “Joanie
was my sister. She died when I was little.”
“How come she died when you were little?” A.J. asked.
“There was a very bad fire in our house one night, and she didn’t get out in time.”
“Miss Sara says that’s why we have to do drills and practice; so we can all get out in
time.” A.J. thought that over for a minute. “Was she pretty?”
“Yes, she was very pretty. I’ll show you a picture I have of her. She was pretty, and
smart and funny, and she loved music.”
“That’s sad that she died in the bad fire.” A.J. noted as only a four year old can.
“Yes.” Josh agreed. “So I’m very glad that you’ve been practicing to get out safe so
you’ll know what to do. I don’t ever want you to get hurt.”
“I’ll be safe daddy.” A.J. promised and kissed him. Josh smirked at the simplicity of it
all. “Look, I put my fire dog sticker on the n’animals page. You should put yours there
too.”
Josh pulled his sticker out of his pocket and let A.J. have the honors of putting it into
her book. “Rachel said I can come for a sleep over in a couple days.” A.J. announced
while she peeled the back off the sticker and adjusted it just perfectly in her book.
“Her mommy is gonna call us.”
“A sleepover? At age four?” Josh asked alarmed.
“They live across the street, Josh.”
“But overnight?”
A.J. watched the debate between them like she was at a tennis match.
“It will be fine.” Donna stated unequivocally. “Won’t it daddy?”
“I guess.” Josh groused.
“I’m gonna go tell her!” A.J. said excitedly and ran for the front door.
“Don’t forget to look before you cross.” Josh reminded her and got up to watch from
the window.
“I know that already!” his daughter responded while rolling her eyes; prompting a
laugh from Donna. They both watched as she carefully crossed to her friend’s house
and then jumped up and down in excitement while she told her friend the happy news.
“I’m missing too much, Donna.” Josh said quietly.
“I think you’ve been doing well balancing home and work; it’s not easy stuff.” Donna
noted.
“I just always felt I had to do this job, you know? Lately…it’s starting to feel like it’s
another thing I’m ready to let go of.” He admitted.
“Then maybe it’s time for a change.” She suggested and pulled his arms around her
from behind so that their joined hands rested over the baby that would be joining
their family in a few more short months.
“Maybe it is.” He agreed. “But can you support me in the manner to which I’ve
become accustomed?”
“I think between my Government salary and your trust fund, we should be alright.”
She joked. They watched their daughter come bounding back home.
“Her mom said yes, too!” she announced. “But Rachel had to promise to be nice to
her little sister or ‘the whole thing’s off’.” A.J. quoted. “Do you think I’m gonna like my
little sister?” A.J. refused to acknowledge it might be a brother.
“I think you’re going to love being a big sister.” Donna neatly sidestepped the issue.
“Rachel’s sister pulls her barbie’s heads off and cries all the time.”
“But when she gets older, they’ll be best friends.” Josh predicted.
“Maybe.” A.J. hedged. “I think I should hide mine just in case.” She told them and ran
upstairs to care of that.
“See? She made it across the street and back, you’re looking at some professional
changes…I think you’re getting pretty good at letting go already.” Donna teased.
“As long as I don’t have to let you go.” Josh established and pulled her closer for a
kiss.
The End.