Chapter 31
"Are you ready Mr. Lyman?" the nurse asked.
"Does it matter?" Josh muttered back.
"Josh!" Donna warned him off upsetting yet another nurse.
"What's the matter, Dad?"
"It's stair day." Josh replied.
"Stair day?" Ally repeated.
"Today's the day we're going to get your dad up and down
stairs." The nurse joyfully shared with them. "Once he masters
that, he'll be cleared to go home."
"Really?" Ally confirmed. "Let's go do stair day,
Dad!"
"I've done this before, Alley Cat, it's not quite as fun as
they make it sound." Josh complained.
"Maybe not, but this time you have additional cheerleaders."
Donna indicated their two oldest children.
Josh got up gingerly and grabbed her outstretched hands. "I only
ever needed the one." He replied. "But having two more was
undoubtedly the missing ingredient to making this fun."
"That a boy." Donna encouraged him and they walked en masse down
the hall together; Josh flanked by the two children.
"When is Jenny bringing Tori and Jake?" Josh asked again. Jake
had been by once during the last 3 days, but Tori not at all. Josh
understood his daughter's fear, but he was so lonesome for her.
"They should be here soon." Donna answered…again.
"You don't have to roll your eyes at me." Josh shot back.
"I'm standing behind you." Donna pointed out that he
couldn't see her roll her eyes.
"I'm tuned to you, too!" He smirked until he saw the stairs,
looming in front of him like Mount Everest. "Donna, why don't
you take the kids down to get a snack or something?"
"It's okay, Josh." Donna rubbed his back. "We're all
here for you."
"You can do it, Daddy." Ally enthused. Josh smiled at her
wide-eyed optimism. When his gaze swung to Ben though, he saw a
different picture. Ben wasn't sure his dad could do it and he
didn't want to watch if him struggle or fail.
"Ben, you can go back to my room if you want; watch some cable."
Josh gave him an out. But Ben shook his head `no' and Josh felt
greater pride in him at that moment than he ever had.
"Since you have such a strong young man here, he can take your other
arm." The nurse took Josh's left hand and placed it on the
banister and Josh's right hand was placed on Ben's shoulder.
"Now I know your dad has been through this before, lucky him, but
since you're new in the field, here are a couple pointers." The
nurse smiled kindly at Ben. "Your dad is going to put on foot up on
the first step, then bring is other foot up next to it on the first
step. You do NOT move until both his feet are firmly on the first step
and he tells you he has his balance, okay?"
"Got it."
"Now since this is your dad's first attempt at steps after
surgery, we're only going to go up five steps, turn around, and come
back down."
"ONLY five, she says." Josh muttered into his son's ear and
made him chuckle. "Ready?"
"Are you?" Ben shot back.
"Let's find out." Josh replied and tentatively placed his
right foot on the step trying not to moan out loud as he did so.
"Good job, Dad. Now try the other one." Ally continued to
cheerlead.
"Right." Josh paused and then raised his left foot as well. He
wobbled a bit on the step but between the banister and Ben he steadied
himself.
"Can I move up now, Dad?" Ben asked quietly and Josh nodded.
They repeated the procedure and by the time they reached the fifth
step
Josh had sweat popping out across his face and body.
"Hey, you did it. Now you only have to go down." Ben whispered
to him. "Going down is always easier that going up."
"Not necessarily after heart surgery, kiddo." Josh slowly turned
around on the fifth stair to see Donna and Ally at the bottom watching
him.
"Okay, Ben," The nurse spoke up again. "This time you're
going to stand one step below your dad. When he gets both feet on
your
step, then you take another step down."
"Okay." Ben stepped below his dad and they made it down two
steps before Josh had to stop.
At that point, Jenny and the two youngest Lyman's arrived. Jake, set
to run to his father, was held back by Jenny. Tori just stood and stared
quizzically at her brother and her dad.
"Victoria Helen, where have you been?" Josh smiled through the
pain and exhaustion. He didn't want to alarm her in any way now that
she was here.
"At home!" she replied. "Why are you just standing there on
the steps, Daddy?"
"I'm…coming down…in just a minute." Josh assured her
and pushed Ben a little until he got the hint to move down a step.
"Daddy's practicing going up and down the stairs, Tori.
Remember? We talked about how Daddy would take things slow after
his
operation until he got his strength back."
"Uh-huh. Daddy come down by us!" Tori insisted.
Josh closed his eyes for a moment and then took a step down, followed
by
another and another until he reached the bottom. The kids started to
swarm but Donna and Jenny held them back.
"Whoa!" Donna cautioned. "Slow and gentle everyone; slow and
gentle." Then they released the children to give their dad
celebratory hugs and kisses, very gently with Donna last but not least.
"I knew you could do it." She whispered after giving him a kiss.
"Okay, troop, let your dad sit down and rest a minute." Donna
led Josh to the nearest chair and the children followed along like
ducklings with Jenny taking up the rear.
"Can we go home now?" Tori asked her mother.
"Tori, your father has been waiting to see you!" Donna
admonished her.
"I mean him too. Let's all go home." She suggested. "He
can do the stairs now and everything."
"He still has some work he has to do with the doctors here." The
nurse answered. "But he should be able to go home with you in a
couple more days. Are you ready to go back to your room, Mr. Lyman?"
"We'll just stay here for now, thanks." Josh knew Tori's
biggest problem with hospitals were the patient rooms. He didn't
want to do anything to upset her now she was actually here. He hugged
her close to his right side. "I've missed you so much."
"The mean lady is gone now. Let's go home." She whispered
back.
"I heard you got to visit your first grade class yesterday."
Josh changed the subject. "How was that?"
"It sucked." Tori said in a matter-of-fact tone. Tori was
convinced that any change in her life sucked. A word she learned from
her favorite uncle, named Toby.
"I think I remember you saying that kindergarten was going to suck
too, and it turned out that you liked that just fine." Josh reminded
her as Jake climbed up on his dad's lap.
"I wanna go to kindergarten." He stated tugging on his dad's
arm.
"Next year." Josh promised and kissed his youngest child on the
head. "What have you been up to today?"
"Swimming lessons." Jake replied smiling. "I jumped off the
board all by myself."
"Good for you. How was your lesson, Tori?" Josh asked and then
caught Donna's slashing motion across her throat…just a little
too late.
"It sucked." Tori answered.
"Of course it did." Josh chuckled lightly and shared a smile
with Donna.
"It was too loud and the water was cold." Tori elaborated.
"That does suck." Josh agreed. "But I'm proud of you for
trying."
Tori smiled and tucked her head onto Josh's right shoulder. "Can
we go home now? You should be at home."
"As soon as possible, kiddo, as soon as possible." Josh cuddled
with her and Donna's eyes grew misty watching them together, but she
still noticed his occasional wince.
"Do you need some pain meds?" Donna asked gently and got up to
rub the back of his neck. She didn't miss a thing. And he thought
he'd been putting on such a good show.
"I wouldn't turn any down, right now." He admitted.
"I'll be right back." Donna kissed him again before she went
to get the pills.
"Daddy, you did a really good job on the steps." Ally said from
her post standing next to his chair.
"Thanks, Alley Cat." Josh reached over to stroke her cheek.
"Daddy knew how to do stairs a long time ago." Tori pointed out.
"He has to learn them all over again because of the operation."
Ben explained.
"Daddy hurt his heart not his legs, right Daddy?" Tori asked.
"Right, but after some operations you have to sort of…start over
with things like stairs or walking a long way." Josh found himself
fumbling.
"But we have stairs at our house. How will you get up to your new
bed? We should get an elevator and then we could all go home today."
Tori decided.
"I think it would take a while to build an elevator for our
house." Josh replied. "I'll get these steps, Tori."
Tori laid her head back on his shoulder and Josh reveled in the
connection.
"Didn't you want to give your dad something, guys?" Jenny
reminded them, holding out a plastic bag.
Both children raced over to her and took a small, badly wrapped present
from the bag.
"Open mine first, Daddy." Jake demanded and Tori pouted.
"I want him to open mine first. I'm the oldest." Tori
presented her argument.
"I got here first." Jake was getting worked up and so was Tori.
"Rock, paper, scissors." Jenny suggested and both kids went into
battle mode. Jake won the contest and handed his gift to his father.
Tori was unhappy but paper covered rock and she wasn't one to buck
the rules.
"Open it, Daddy!" Jake urged his dad.
Josh ripped the paper off and discovered Jake's favorite stuffed
animal, Bobo inside. Bobo was a well loved bear that Jake had received
on his first birthday from President and Mrs. Santos. He couldn't
say bear but managed to say `Bobo' instead. The bear had been
Bobo ever since. He took it wherever they went and never let anyone
else
hold it. Josh was truly touched by the gift.
"Thanks Jake, this is very special. I'm sure he'll make me
feel better." Josh kissed his son's cheek."
"You have to give him back when you come home." Jake clarified.
Josh nodded solemnly. "Of course. What have you got for me, Victoria
Helen?"
Tori handed over her package and waited solemnly to see if her dad
liked
her gift as much as Jake's.
Josh tore off the wrapping, and opened the box inside. Inside were
pages
and pages of papers, neatly folded and placed inside. When he
unfolded
the third one, a pattern emerged. They were all articles on how to take
care of your heart. Heart Smart recipes, exercises that are good for
your heart, and so on. Josh felt the tears well up in his eyes.
"Are you crying Daddy?" Tori asked.
"A little bit, Victoria Helen." He smiled through the tears.
"I'm sorry…" her little head bent down in humiliation that
her gift made her dad cry.
"No, Tori, don't be sorry. Your present is wonderful." Josh
sighed in frustration. How did he explain the complex emotions he was
feeling to a little girl who didn't always grasp basic emotions?
Donna arrived with his pills and saw that there was something else going
on.
"Tori, what's wrong?" Donna asked and Tori flew into her
arms.
"My present made Daddy cry!" Tori burst into tears herself.
Donna looked over at Josh and he held up the papers so Donna could
see
what had given him such an emotional punch. "Honey…Daddy loves
your present. It was SO good it made him cry happy tears."
"Happy tears?" Tori looked up in confusion.
"Sometimes when people get really happy, they cry." Jenny tried
to explain.
"I don't like happy tears." Tori declared. "Happy tears
suck."
"I couldn't help it, baby." Josh tried to grab her hand but
she moved out of his reach. "This present, it showed me how
you're trying to take care of my heart and it means a lot to me.
I'm done crying, I promise. Can I give you a kiss to thank you?"
Tori still wasn't sure what this had all been about, but she
understood kissing someone to say thanks. She moved over to her dad
and
received her kiss and a gentle hug. Josh whispered into her ear.
"This was the best present I ever got."
Tori might have trouble with emotions and social interactions, but she
knew exactly what the word `best' meant and now she beamed.
Donna handed him his pills and a glass of water to drink it with. He
took them immediately, which gave her a pretty good idea of where he
was
at. Now she felt torn. He obviously needed to rest after the exertion of
the stairs but he didn't want to give up his time with his family.
Maybe if she just gave him a short rest it would help. "Let's go
down to the cafeteria and give Daddy a rest for a little while."
"No, Donna, I'll just sit here." Josh pleaded. "I'm
fine."
Donna knew he was afraid they wouldn't be able to get Tori to his
room and he didn't want this visit to end, but she also knew how
much energy he'd expended today.
"Josh…"
"Please, Donna." Josh used the dimples. He knew she was helpless
against the dimples.
"Those pills are going to knock you out." She warned with a
smile.
"So I sleep in a chair instead of a bed." He tried to shrug but
it made him wince.
"I'll go down and get some drinks and stuff." Ben
volunteered.
"No, you stay right here." Josh insisted. "I want all of you
right here."
Donna's eyebrows rose at his tone, but he didn't care. He
hadn't been with his family, altogether, for several days and there
was something about facing your mortality that made you hold everyone
dear to you a little closer.
The kids told him stories about what they'd been doing. Jenny talked
about the classes she'd be taking in the fall. Donna just sat and
quietly watched the interaction between them all. Reveling, just like
Josh, the feeling of everyone being together. When Josh's head
started to bob in exhaustion, though, she had to make a decision.
"It's time for Daddy to take a nap. Let's walk him back to
his room." Donna suggested. After carefully helping him out of his
chair, the kids escorted their dad to his room. Tori, however, stopped
just outside the door and refused to go in. The nurse came back to
check
on Josh but stopped to speak to Tori.
"Don't you want to go in and kiss your dad goodbye?" she
asked.
"I can blow him a kiss from here." Tori answered.
"Very smart." The nurse nodded. "There sure are a lot of
machines in there, huh?"
Tori nodded.
"The one closest to your dad? When I attach the stickers to his
chest, that machine will record his heart beat so we can make sure his
new ICD is working just right. It will print out lines and numbers so
his doctors can see what's happening all the time. Want to help me
put his stickers on?"
Tori tilted her head in thought. She was intrigued with the numbers
angle and also the stickers, but once she went inside, how did she know
someone wouldn't try to do something to her? That's what
happened last time.
"Did you know that it's against the rules for any doctor or
nurse to touch someone if they aren't the patient?" The nurse
prodded. That question caused Tori's head to swing quickly around to
the nurse. "That's the truth."
Tori's eyes squinted as she ran that new rule through her head.
"You could be a nurse's assistant. Then you'd know how to
help take care of your dad when he goes home." The nurse added and
jerked her head in the direction of the heart monitor. Tori hesitantly
followed along to the surprise of both her parents.
"Okay, Mr. Lyman, we're going to hook you back up to the monitor
for awhile and make sure your stair run didn't affect how your heart
is working. My assistant will be working with you today." The nurse
motioned for Tori to come to her side. "I'm going to use this
pen to make little X's on your dad's chest and then you can put
the stickers on."
"You can't use pens on peoples bodies, right Mommy?" Tori
turned from her nursing duties to confirm that rule with her mother.
"At the hospital they can, but only doctors and nurses." Donna
amended.
The nurse chuckled and marked up Josh's chest. Then she handed Tori
the `stickers'. Tori peeled one off and placed it precisely over
the `x'.
"Does that hurt Daddy?" Tori asked and Josh shook his head
`no' while smiling at her.
"You can try one." The nurse suggested. "Peel one off and
put it on your skin." Tori looked to her mom for approval and once
given, put a sticker on her arm. Satisfied that it didn't hurt at
all, she continued with her job. Jake wanted a sticker too, so the nurse
placed one on his arm as well. Then Jake complained that his sticker
didn't have any picture on it.
When they finished their task, the nurse connected the wires and the
machine startled Tori with its' beeping. The nurse showed her the
numbers and the graph printout and Tori was hooked.
Donna moved closer to the nurse. "Thank you so much. I couldn't
convince her to come inside. She had a rather traumatic experience
recently as a patient and…well, thank you. You handled her
perfectly."
"I'm glad you didn't mind me stepping in. Your husband
shared Tori's diagnosis with me when he was talking about how much
he missed her and I have had patients with autism, so I've had a
little practice."
"It shows. Thanks." Donna told her sincerely. Donna watched Tori
read and announce the numbers coming off the machine while Jake
shouted
out requests.
"Make it go higher, Daddy. Make it go all the way up!" Jake
shouted.
"It's not good for it to go up, Jake." Ben explained.
"It's very bad for Dad if it goes up." Ben was watching the
numbers carefully, Donna noted. But that would have to be a discussion
for another time. Josh could hardly keep his eyes open.
"Okay everybody, time to give Daddy a nap."
The kids filed for the door except for Jake who climbed up onto his
daddy's bed. "Should I say the story today, Daddy?" They
took turns telling stories at nap time.
"Sure." Josh agreed and immediately closed his eyes.
"Once upon a time…" Jake began.
Donna looked helplessly at Jenny. How was she supposed to pull Jake
away
from Josh like this? She was literally exhausted from trying to keep the
family on an even keel throughout the visit.
"You stay with them. I'll take the rest of our troop home."
Jenny offered.
"That would be terrific. Thanks, Jen." Donna hugged her niece.
Donna pushed the guest chair next to the bed and laid her head down
on
the mattress. Soon Jake was the only one awake.