Title: Down the Rabbit Hole
Author: Cathy Miller (www.cathyswestwing.com
<http://www.cathyswestwing.com/> )
Timeline: 3rd Season, jumps AU after War Crimes
Rating: R for language and some adult themes, implied violence
Feedback: Encouraged
Disclaimer: I think they may be mine now, but I'm checking with my
lawyer.
"Bullshit."
"Excuse me." The Senator asked.
"Absolute Bullshit." Josh repeated.
"Mr. Lyman, please." The host interjected.
"Mr. Lyman really doesn't have anything of substance to refute
my arguments, so he's reduced to expletives." Senator Harmon
commented.
"The only substance Senator Harmon has in favor of his argument is
his loaded bank account from the special interest group that wants to
quash the bill." Josh retorted. "President Bartlet is far more
interested in what is in the best interests of the American people. And
he'll prove that 10 days from now when he signs Brigham's bill
into law as soon as it passes in the House and Senate."
"Just what are you accusing me of, Mr. Lyman?" The Senator
leaned forward.
"I'm accusing you of killing a bill that would help millions of
Americans because of the `contributions' you've received
from questionable individuals in special interest groups from your
district." Josh, too, leaned in and now he and Harmon were nose to
nose with a very nervous television host between them.
"How dare you…"
"Oh, it's not just me, Senator." Josh made the title sound
like an insult. "The Senate ethics committee will be requesting a
discussion with you very soon, but in the meantime, I am going to make
it my life's work to take you out of office and into an
interrogation room of an independent prosecutor. My life's
work." Josh repeated menacingly.
Harmon was a cool customer but Josh could see the beads of sweat pop out
on Harmon's upper lip and forehead. That was the trouble with
illegal activity; you could never be sure if you'd covered all your
tracks, and you could never know when you might get caught.
Josh knew he'd catch hell from Leo and the President for his little
tirade, but the guy was dirty. If Josh had…exaggerated his case a
little, it had simply been to see Harmon's reaction. Now that he
had, Josh was sure he was on the right track.
"And that's all we have time for this week." The
nerve-wracked substitute host of Capitol Beat broke in. "I'd
like to thank my guests, Senator Jeff Harmon, the Republican Senator
from Michigan, and Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman. Please tune in next
week when Mark Godfrey returns to host the next edition of Capitol
Beat."
The music came up and the lights went down, but Josh and Harmon still
hadn't moved a muscle. The substitute host quickly vacated his
position like a nervous patron in a saloon where two poker players had
just pulled their guns from their holsters.
"You are going to regret that, Lyman."
"I sincerely doubt that, Harmon." Josh simply leaned back in his
chair until Harmon got up and left; his entourage in tow.
**************************
"Leo wants to see you in his office, immediately." Donna
reported as soon as he walked through the door.
"I wonder what he could want." Josh mused sarcastically.
"It's a puzzlement." Donna agreed. Josh checked her expression
but saw nothing there but humor. Things had been a little off with them
since their clandestine meeting with Cliff Calley, but maybe this
bantering was a sign that things were returning to normal; or at least
whatever passed for normal between them.
"You just had to shoot your mouth off didn't you?" She said
smirking.
"The man's a criminal Donna. What am I supposed to do sit across
from him and say nothing?"
"Preferably, yes. At least until you have proof of those charges,
or, he's, you know, indicted."
Josh said nothing about what his research had already turned up. One
couldn't work with Donna Moss for several years and not pick up a
few research pointers.
"So on the scale of `Josh Lyman on air temper tantrums', it
was pretty high up there, but not quite as bad as indicting God for tax
fraud." Donna concluded.
"I did not have a temper tantrum. It was an impassioned debate."
"I don't think your blood pressure can take much more
impassioned debating. You've been more impassioned than usual
lately, Josh."
"Right." Josh rolled his eyes and walked to Leo's office.
"Margaret? He wanted to see me. Is he with someone?"
"Yes, but he asked me to interrupt them when you arrived."
Margaret's words were innocuous enough, but her tone indicated
serious trouble for Josh.
"On a scale of 1-10?"
"Eleven." She deadpanned.
"Right." Josh bounced on the balls of his feet while he waited
for Leo to summon him. It took less than 30 seconds.
Leo's door opened and the transportation secretary exited, giving
Josh a sympathetic look.
Josh walked in and plopped down in the guest chair in front of Leo's
desk waiting for the scolding he knew was coming.
"Are you okay?" Leo asked concerned.
Josh blinked in surprise. This was not what he expected.
"Um….yeah." He answered carefully. Leo snapped his folder on
his desk and had Josh jumping.
"Then why the hell would you threaten a U.S. Senator with a criminal
investigation?"
"Because he's a crook?"
"And you have proof of that somewhere in your backpack?" Leo
demanded.
"Not proof as such…"
"Right. I forgot you were gone the day they taught evidence in law
school." Leo snapped. "Or how about innocent until proven
guilty? Does that little nugget ring a bell with you?"
"Vaguely." Josh replied.
"Don't be giving me any of you smart ass answers." Leo
shouted. "You wouldn't believe the screaming I've had to
endure since your impassioned plea on national television. The Democrats
are salivating over an ethics hearing I doubt will ever occur, and the
Republicans are rightfully incensed that the White House Deputy Chief of
Staff accused a ranking member of their party of ethics violations and
criminal misconduct."
"There's something there, Leo. I know it."
"Until you can prove it, shut your damn mouth." Leo ordered.
"You're going to issue an apology."
"Leo-"
"On second thought have Donna issue the apology on your behalf. I
don't trust you to handle that yourself."
"That's completely unfair." Josh complained.
"You have been surly, moody, and anxious for the last two weeks. If
there's a problem, handle it. If this is just you being you; stop
it." Leo instructed. "Get out and do a job that won't have
me receiving furious phone calls the rest of the day."
"Yes, sir." Josh said sarcastically and although Leo raised his
eyebrows at the tone, he made no further comment; just watched silently
as his Deputy left the office.
*****************************************
A week later the public apology was still grating on his nerves when
Josh ran into Harmon and his pack of wolves outside the Senate chamber.
Josh tried ignoring their approach as he lobbied Senator Stackhouse for
his vote; the Brigham health initiative bill was going to the floor in
two more days. Harmon, gloating a bit from the public apology made a
point of waiting until Josh was finished with Stackhouse before
approaching Josh.
Josh went out of his way to avoid the crowd, but it was to no avail.
"Thank your assistant for her lovely worded apology." Harmon
taunted. "Of course having worked for you all this time, she must
have had plenty of practice."
"Right." Josh agreed hoping to end this conversation and avoid
another lecture from Leo.
"How the mighty have fallen." Harmon continued. "Josh Lyman
is reduced to walking the hall to try to get votes for his bill."
"It's Senator Brigham's bill." Josh corrected. "And
I'd do more than walk the halls if it could shake a few votes loose
from the chokehold you and Medalliance seem to have over the
Senate." Josh rose to the bait, as Harmon imagined he would given
enough provocation.
"Medalliance has provided millions of people with quality health
care. After they're done explaining how detrimental your bill would
be to their constituents, Senators wisely agree to vote
`no'."
"Funny how their explanations always seem to come with checks that
have lots of zeroes written on them." Josh's voice was getting
louder. Howard Stackhouse continued walking away from the brewing
trouble; he opened the cell phone his oldest grandchild had programmed
for him and asked his assistant to connect him to Donna Moss in the
Deputy C.O.S. office.
"Are you accusing my fellow Senators of being bribed into their
`no' vote?" Harmon raised his voice too and a crowd was
generating around them.
"I'm just wondering whose interests you're serving, your
constituent's, or Medalliance's?" Josh tried to keep his
cool, but he could feel his heart rate increasing and his face flushing.
"Put up or shut up, Lyman." Harmon told him bluntly. "You
don't get to accuse me of wrongdoing just because you disagree with
my vote."
"No, but I can accuse you of wrongdoing when you trade votes for
campaign cash." Josh blasted.
"That's quite enough from you! Making accusations without any
merit, in front of my Senate colleagues? That's slander, Lyman.
I'd think someone who went to Yale would be cognizant of that
fact."
"I'll tell you what I'm cognizant of you piece of-" Josh
was interrupted by the distinctive ring of his cell phone. He had to
take two breaths before he could answer it.
"Josh Lyman." He ground out still keeping eye contact with
Harmon.
"The President needs you back here immediately." Donna lied
without a single qualm.
"What's going on?" he inquired and turned away from the
crowd while he began walking back to the White House.
"I'm not sure. I just got a phone call telling me to get you
back to your office immediately." That was true enough, Donna
thought to herself. Senator Stackhouse had been very insistent that she
get Josh back to his office at once. Something about a clash with Harmon
that was quickly going South. Ever since the Senator had found out that
it was Donna who had gotten the bill reopened for his Autism amendment,
he had made it a point to develop a relationship with her. He'd
called her personally to thank her for the vote and then subsequently
called her first whenever he had dealings with the White House. Donna
had been flattered by his friendship before. Today, she was grateful it
had spurred him to call her about Josh.
"I'll be right there." Josh snapped before hanging up.
Whatever was going on with Josh, he'd be back in his office shortly
and they could work through it.
Josh was clearly agitated when he entered his office. His face was still
red and his already active limbs seemed to be in overdrive. Donna took
all this in and tried to keep out of his way while she checked in with
him.
"How'd it go with Senator Stackhouse?' She asked lightly.
"I think he'll stay with us on this one, but I may send you for
the follow up. He likes you much better than me." Josh admitted but
still didn't sit or even take off his jacket.
"Well by that logic, I should do all your visits to the hill;
everyone there likes me much better than you."
Josh didn't smirk or even give her the dirty look she'd been
expecting. "What was so urgent? Does the President want me in the
Oval?"
"That…turned out to be a false alarm. Leo thought there was
going to be a thing and wanted you to come back to handle it, but
whatever it was must have gotten resolved."
"Son of a bitch!" Josh exclaimed. "I came all the way back
here for nothing?"
"Not nothing." Donna said in a calming voice. "You get to
see me, and since it's nearly lunch time, we could go down and get
some lunch. I have some questions about the notes you have on
Medalliance."
Josh continued to pace and didn't answer Donna. Donna's radar
was now screaming that something was wrong.
"You seem pretty upset, Josh. Did something happen on the Hill?"
"Damn Harmon and his attack dogs." Josh muttered. His desk phone
rang and Donna picked it up, afraid to let Josh answer it himself. It
was C.J. advising Donna to turn on MSNBC.
Donna picked up the remote control and turned the set to channel 31.
"…I think I'll just let my attorney speak to the unfounded
accusations the White House has made and used to smear my professional
reputation."
"Medalliance has made significant contributions to your campaign. Is
it unfair to ask if that has had an effect on your judgment on this
national health bill?" a reporter probed.
"Asking and accusing are two different things. If the White House
continues to send it's pit-bull, Josh Lyman, to slander sitting
Senators, President Bartlet is going to have extreme difficulty moving
any of his agenda through Congress."
"You and Mr. Lyman seem to have developed a particularly contentious
relationship. What seems to have set things off today?" another
reporter asked.
"A discussion about the health care bill. The man just doesn't
seem rational on this issue. It appears that he has some kind of
personal dog in this fight. Why is this bill sending the Deputy Chief of
Staff over the edge? Now I have the people's business to attend to.
Thanks for you time."
Donna muted the sound. Josh was still pacing and muttering.
"I tried to avoid him completely Donna. I swear; I agreed with him
and kept walking. HE followed ME."
"Have you eaten something today?"
"I'm not hungry!" Josh insisted. "Quit trying to be my
mother."
"Josh, you don't look good right now and you don't sound
very good. Please sit down. Grab a bottle of water from your frig. Have
you been taking your pills?" Josh was on a variety of blood pressure
and anti-anxiety medications since Rosslyn.
"Yes!" The vehemence of his response was enough to convince
Donna he was telling the truth. Besides, sometimes Josh forgot to take
his pills, but he'd never, to her knowledge, purposefully skipped
them or even resented having to take them. He just did.
"Okay." Donna soothed. "Please set your backpack down and
sit for a minute."
Josh complied. "Leo is going to have my head on a platter. He
specifically said-"
"I'm going to get you something to eat. Take a break from the
Brigham Bill and look at the notes I put together for the new teacher
standards." She instructed and was surprised to see him do as she
said.
Donna closed his door and put his phone line on Do Not Disturb. Donna
waived off C.J. who was on a march to Josh's office. She called the
First Lady's office and when she was through with that call, she
went to find Sam. He was deep in an argument with Toby about the
President's remarks on the Brigham Bill at a speech he was to give
that evening.
"Sam? Can I have a word with you?" she asked timidly. Toby
scowled but made no comment about her request or Sam's defection.
Once they were closed off in Sam's office, Donna spilled everything.
"You think it's the PTSD again?" Sam asked.
"It's something." Donna insisted. "He's not himself.
He's anxious and flies off the handle…" she broke off when she
saw Sam's smirk. "This isn't Josh telling the Speaker to
stick his legislative agenda up his ass. This is different."
Nobody could read Josh like Donna. Sam took that into consideration.
"What do you want me to do?"
"The First Lady is coming down shortly. Stay with him until she gets
there. I'm going to get him some food. He hasn't been eating
lately and he says he's having trouble sleeping. Distract him with
the teacher initiative. Ask him questions and-"
"I can handle distracting him." Sam interrupted. "Go get him
some food."
"Thanks Sam." Donna said sincerely.
Sam knocked softly on Josh's door, remembering that loud noises
could set things off for his friend when he was having an episode.
"Hey, have you got a minute?" Sam asked rhetorically.
"I'm putting together talking points for our surrogates on the
new teacher stuff and-"
"Donna sent you in here, didn't she?" Josh looked up wearily
at his friend. Sam noted the flushed skin and the bags under his eyes.
Donna was right. Something was off.
"You don't look so good, buddy." Sam leveled with him.
"Ha. I guarantee I look better than I feel." Josh laughed
humorlessly.
"Is it the PTSD?" Sam ventured carefully.
"Why is it than anytime I'm having a bad day, everybody jumps to
PTSD?!" Josh exclaimed and got up to pace again. Whoa! Sam literally
took a step back. Josh pulled out a bottle of water and nearly drained
it in one gulp.
"We're just worried about you, Josh." Sam said quietly.
Immediately, Josh deflated, and sat in one of the visitor chairs. All
the fight left him. What the hell? Sam wondered.
"I feel…off." Josh admitted quietly. "But it's NOT
like I felt at Christmas when Stanley came."
"Okay. Let's start there. Something is wrong. Maybe the
medication needs to be changed or the dosage. Maybe you're having
some new physical symptoms a doctor should check out."
"The Brigham vote goes to the floor in two days and I don't have
the votes yet. Look at my desk! I don't have time to go to the
doctor right now! Maybe after the vote." Josh relented when he saw
Sam's determined face.
A knock followed by a Secret Service agent seemed like perfect timing to
Sam; Josh rolled his eyes.
"Someone ordered a house call?" Abby Bartlet sing-songed.
"Not me." Josh replied.
"No, but you should have. Luckily you hired someone smarter than you
as your assistant. Take off you jacket and your shirt, Josh."
"Really, Mrs. B., I usually get dinner and drinks first." Josh
tried to joke.
"Your jacket and your shirt jackass, or I'll have Fred here help
and I guarantee you won't find that pleasant." Abby indicated
the Secret Service agent and Josh could have sworn the man smiled.
"Will you excuse us please gentlemen?" Abby asked her agent and
Sam to step out.
When Donna returned 10 minutes later, she found Josh sitting in his
visitor chair with his jacket off and his dress shirt unbuttoned. She
put his sandwich and soup in front of him and observed Abby's tense
body language.
"How's our patient doing, Dr. Bartlet?"
"His weight is down, is blood pressure is way up, and is heart rate
is erratic." Abby summarized.
"Hey, what happened to doctor/patient confidentiality?" Josh
protested.
"I'm not familiar with that concept, Joshua." Abby
countered.
"This is payback for the drinks and dinner comment, isn't
it?"
"Damn right it is." Abby agreed. "I just called in another
prescription. They should be delivering it shortly. I want you to
continue taking your regular meds; just add this one. It will help with
the blood pressure."
"Got it." Donna answered and Josh raised his eyebrows at her
answering for him.
"I'd also like you to go home and rest-"
"No way!" Josh protested. "We're on a deadline with the
vote and-"
"However, I will settle for you staying in your office provided you
put your feet up and eat the lunch Donna brought for you. This is
serious, Joshua." Abby made eye contact with until she felt he was
taking this as seriously as she was. Abby was very troubled by what she
was seeing with Josh. "Donna is going to be the enforcer. If you
don't follow my instructions to the letter she's making a call
to Fred here who will escort you out of the building."
Josh looked away from her but nodded.
"You're also going to see Dr. McIntosh first thing after the
vote." Abby dictated and Josh nodded again. "Fine. Eat your
lunch and get those votes. Too many Americans can't get access to
health care in this country."
Josh gave her a half-smile. "Yes, ma'am." Abby left with a
stern look in Donna's direction.
"You betrayed me Donna." Josh said wearily. "You went to the
First Lady of all people."
"And I would do it again in a heartbeat, Josh. Something is wrong
and you need some help."
"Medical or mental?" he asked dryly.
"I don't know, but whichever it is, we're taking care of it
now…together." Donna said firmly. Josh simply reached over and
took a bite of his sandwich.
***********************************************
"He won't let go of this, and he's starting to change
minds." Eggleton pointed out.
"There's a reason they call him a pit bull." Harmon replied
unconcerned.
"If this passes, there's going to be hell to pay. These people
don't mess around." Eggleton reminded him.
"I know who we're dealing with, Jack. I brought them to you,
didn't I? You'd never be in your Senate seat without their money
and their pull. How's that winter house in Fiji, Jack? The Swiss
accounts they set up for you?"
"Jesus, are they going to want all that back if Brigham's bill
passes?"
"I don't think they'll be collecting monetary
penalties." Harmon drawled. "You'd better get on the phone
with your caucus and make sure no one has hopped the fence. I dropped a
couple hints about Lyman's mental troubles in a few well placed
ears. They'll be broadcasting all about his delicate mental
condition and his PTSD by dinner. That should shore things up just
fine…."
**********************************************
Donna looked up as C.J. approached.
"I'm sorry I blew you off before but Josh couldn't handle
one more thing. His blood pressure and heart rate-"
"He's going to have to deal with one more thing." C.J.
replied.
"Senator Stackhouse stepped in before things completely blew. No one
is going to care what Harmon called Josh in the heat of the fight."
C.J. shook her head sadly. "Harmon I can spin, although I wish Josh
wouldn't give me quite so much to work with. This is something
else."
"What happened?"
"MSNBC is reporting that Josh has been diagnosed with Post Traumatic
Stress Disorder and is taking a variety of drugs as a result."
"Oh, God." Donna moaned. "Where did they get it?"
"They're claiming an anonymous source." C.J. told her.
"Can I go in now?" she indicated Josh's office.
"He's finishing up with a conference call. What's going to
happen now?"
"I want to talk to Josh first; give him a heads up. Then we'll
go see Leo."
"Then what?" Donna asked bluntly.
"I don't know." C.J. replied honestly. The light on
Josh's phone went out. "Give me 10 minutes, okay?" Donna
nodded as C.J. knocked and then entered Josh's office.
Not seconds later, Sam came to a screeching halt next to Donna's
desk.
"There's gonna be a thing." He said urgently.
"I know. C.J. is in telling him now. What happens next, Sam?"
"Under other circumstances we could probably deal but on top of the
M.S. disclosure…and with the critical vote riding on his
shoulders…" Sam stared hard at Josh's door like if he looked
long or hard enough he'd be able to see right through it.
"Shit." Donna responded.
"Yeah, shit." Sam agreed.
Josh went straight home after he and C.J. met with Leo even though it was still pretty early.
Donna didn’t know if that was a good sign or bad one. She kept her fingers crossed and
offered up a prayer. He didn’t answer when she called, but she hoped that meant he was
getting some much needed rest.
When he walked in the next morning, he had some of his usual swagger in his step that
Donna took as an encouraging sign.
“Hey, you look much better this morning.” She enthused.
“I feel much better, thank you.” Josh replied. “And thanks for calling Dr. Bartlet too. You
always know just what I need.”
Donna blushed slightly. “I’m just glad you’re feeling better. The pills Dr. Bartlet gave you must
have made a difference.”
“Yeah, I guess so, I’ll have to…” Josh broke off as he entered his office.
“What’s wrong?”
“My pills are still on my desk. Didn’t I bring them home last night?” He wondered out loud.
“I was with Ed and Larry when you came back from your meeting with C.J. and Leo. I don’t
know what you took with you.” Donna noted.
“Now I’m really going to give Dr. B crap. I do better off the medicine than I do on it!” he joked.
“Don’t push your luck.” Donna warned and got a bottle of water from his frig. “Take them now
before you start getting worse again.”
“Yes, Donnatella.” Josh smiled and took the pills. It was nice knowing how much she cared for
him.
That was the last smile Josh had all day. Now, there were actual pages of Josh’ medical
records and his emergency room visit floating around the White House press pool. The fact
that the E.R. doc had penned the words ‘psych eval’ as part of his notations did nothing to
improve matters.
Leo briefed the President on the latest regarding Josh’s PTSD disclosure.
“Harmon is using it to explain Josh’s increased hostility of late.” Leo said.
“Abby thinks he’s having physical symptoms that spell trouble. She says with the drugs he’s
on, there’s no way his blood pressure should be able to get so high. This business is only
going to make it worse.” Jed mused out loud.
Charlie came in and announced the arrival of C.J. and Josh.
“Good evening, Mr. President.” Chorused from both of them.
“C.J., Josh…I’m terribly sorry about this.” Jed apologized immediately. “We’re going to do
everything in our power to lessen the impact. Aren’t we C.J.?”
“Yes, sir.” C.J. agreed moments before Sam and Toby crashed the party.
“I’m hearing pages of Josh’s medical records are being passed around the hill.” Toby began.
“Who’s ass do I kick to Timbuktu for this?”
“When we figure it out, you’ll be the first to know.” C.J. answered.
“You’re going to bench me, aren’t you sir?” Josh asked quietly.
“Josh, I think your health should be our main concern right now.” The President replied evenly.
“Right. It’s all for my own good right?” Josh’s voice began to rise. “The fact that this personal
little bombshell is costing you votes has nothing to do with it, right?”
“Josh, if you have a coronary, that’s not going to alter the vote either.” Sam argued. “Let me
take you home. Maybe with some rest, tomorrow will be-“
“Will I have a chance to resign or will that choice be out of my hands too?” Josh ignored Sam
completely. Jed blinked. It felt a lot like it had that Christmas; not precisely the same, but
enough matched up to send shivers down the spines of Sam, Leo, and the President who’d
seen the first run.
“That’s enough.” Leo said firmly. “You can choose your chauffeur, but you’re leaving now.”
Josh could hear his own labored breathing. He looked from face to face and felt the walls
closing in on him. “Donna will take me.” He insisted. He didn’t trust these other people; but
Donna, Donna owed him for the diary thing, she would help him.
“Charlie!” Leo called and waited for the young man to come in. “Ask Donna to gather Josh’s
things. He’s going home sick and needs her to drive.”
“My meds are in the office.” Josh noted.
“I’ll have her get them.” Charlie assured the group at large. “Take care of yourself, man.” He
told Josh specifically. Josh gave no reply.
*************************************
“Lyman got 8 votes back.” Harmon announced to the man eating dinner with him. His dinner
companion seemed unconcerned.
“It won’t matter. They’ve been dropping like flies since the news of his mental problems
leaked. Nobody wants to do business with a lunatic. They’d already noticed his odd behavior;
this will just further cement their impression that he’s out of it.”
“But what if-“ Harmon began.
“Relax. I told you it wasn’t going to be an issue. The altered medication he’s been taking took
care of act 1. Act 2 will have a more dramatic finale. The great thing about being associated
with Medalliance is all the access one has to drugs. Starting tomorrow, Josh Lyman will cease
to be a thorn in our side. You have my word.” His companion assured him.
**************************************
Donna opened Josh’s door. He walked in lethargically and crashed on the couch.
“Maybe if I got a hold of Peterson…” he mused. Donna ignored him while she poured him
some water and handed him his pills which he swallowed immediately.
“He could sway Jacobs and then-“
“You’re not calling, you’re not swaying.” She decided and took his cell phone away. She
unplugged his wall phone too.
“You can’t completely cut off my contact with the outside world!” he protested.
“You still have the kitchen phone if you MUST make a 911 call or something; I’ll just turn the
ringer down.” She argued. “And you’ve got your pager if they need you to come in and work
the vote.”
“Donna, you don’t understand. They’re already this close to firing me.” Josh held his thumb
and forefinger an inch apart. “If I lose this vote too…it will be just the excuse they’re looking
for.”
“Josh, you’re sick and overtired. Nobody is looking for an excuse to get rid of you.”
“They’ll probably keep you. Toby could use you; or C.J. I guess.” He mused. His mental path
was freaking her out.
“I’ve blown it for the last time.” He said sadly. “And with the PTSD all over the news, nobody in
politics will ever hire me again.”
“You need some sleep. Do you want me to stay here for awhile?” Donna offered.
“No. They’re going to need your help. Votes will be flying out the window thanks to me.”
“Thanks to the bigots who shot you.” Donna corrected. “I put the sandwich in the frig. Call me
if you need anything else. I won’t call you in case you’re sleeping.”
Josh made no reply just continued to stare at the ceiling from his position lying on the couch.
With some reservation, Donna left him to rest. Abby assured her the pills she’d prescribed
would help him sleep too.
*******************************
The next thing Josh knew, his vibrating pager was waking him up. Groggily he pulled it off his
belt and tried to read the message. ‘Meet Leo in your office.” Shit. Leo finally called for his
help, and the pills he took made him too disoriented to actually help. Josh shook his head,
trying to clear his brain. He reached for his keys, then though better of it and called a cab.
The cab ride made him feel a bit nauseous and he had to pause outside the White House
gate for a minute before he could walk inside. He must have been more tipsy than he realized
since he ran into two different pedestrians despite the late hour.
He cleared security and went directly to his office. He pulled a cold bottle of water from his frig
and drank it down hoping it would help negate the medicinal effects. He sat in his chair and
reached for his phone to let Margaret know he had arrived when another wave of nausea hit
him; he had to put his head down for a moment.
********************************
Donna decided she would wait until 8 to call Josh and check in with him. That would give her
an hour to get things rolling in the office and see what Toby and Sam needed for the vote
today; it was going to be close but they had until 4:00 this afternoon to make it happen.
She let the switchboard know that Operations was up and running. She flipped on her
computer and hung up her coat. She picked up the phone again and retrieved Josh’s
messages from overnight; grimacing that 3 of them were from his mother, Ruth Lyman. She’d
call Ruth back first and reassure her.
It took another five minutes to convince Ruth that Josh was at home with the phone off the
hook on Dr. Bartlet’s orders. She prioritized and printed up Josh’s call sheet and went to place
it on his desk.
She wasn’t alarmed at first to see him asleep at his desk. She’d found him like that on more
than one occasion; but she was annoyed that he’d ignored everyone and come back to the
office at some point during the night. She was about to drop some files on the desk to awaken
him in style when she noticed the empty liquor bottle. Looking closer she saw it looked like the
bottle of Scotch that Toby kept in his office for particularly hard days, but she still wasn’t
alarmed. Leave it to Josh to have a drunken pity party in his office and expect her to clean it
all up afterwards. Then she saw the empty pill bottles…3…4…5 of them; she counted as she
scanned his desk and floor. Her heart stopped and she called for help.
She picked up the phone to dial 911 even as she checked him for breathing and a pulse. She
couldn’t tell about the pulse, but she though she felt his exhaled breath when she pulled his
head up from the desk. A couple early bird staffers responded to her call just as 911
answered.
“Get help!” she spoke to everyone simultaneously.
“What is your emergency Ma’am?” the 911 operator asked.
“I need an ambulance. Josh is unconscious.”
“Is he breathing?”
“I can’t…I think so, but I’m not sure.”
“How long has he been unconscious?”
“I don’t know. I just found him like this when I opened his office door.”
“Do you know what caused him to be unconscious?”
“I don’t…there’s alcohol and empty pill bottles.” Donna nearly choked on the words and was
relieved to see E.M.T.’s enter the office. “Please just send the ambulance right away. The
Deputy Chief of Staff’s office at the White House.”
“An ambulance will be there right away, Ma’am. Why don’t you stay on the line until it gets
there.” The operator suggested.
“That’s okay the EMT’s are here now.” Donna replied and quickly hung up the phone.
“His pupils are fixed.” One of the technicians noted. “I’m getting a thready pulse and
decreased breath sounds; particularly in the left lung.”
“His lung was injured. So was his heart. He was shot. They’d have his records at GW.” Donna
offered as Sam came careening around the corner.
“Okay. We need you to move out of the office Ma’am so we can help him. Please step out. Let’
s get him started on the charcoal.” Donna walked backwards until Sam caught her in his arms.
“What the hell happened?” Sam demanded.
“I thought he just fell asleep, then I thought he was just hungover; then I saw the empty pill
bottles. God, Sam, I should have never left him alone last night.” Sam held her closer as he
watched the technicians begin CPR and talk about pumping Josh’s stomach before negating it
as being too dangerous while he was still unconscious.
“We’d better call Ruth before she sees this on the news.” Sam noted softly.
At his words, Donna started crying harder. “I just got off the phone with her and told her he
was at home sleeping. She thanked me for taking such good care of him.”
“It’s not your fault, Donna. Try to calm down.” Sam rubbed her back then looked behind them
at the crowd that had gathered. “Everyone go back to your desks, please.” The onlookers
slowly dispersed with whispered opinions about what might have happened.
Ron Butterfield sliced through the crowd. “What happened?”
Donna reviewed the events of last evening and this morning, but Ron did nothing but give an
occasional nod. When Donna had finished her recital, he addressed the two agents who were
with him.
“As soon as the medical team is through in there; seal the room, 24 hour watch.”
“Yes, sir.” The first agent replied.
At that moment, the ambulance crew arrived and took over. Within seconds they had Josh off
the floor, where the EMT’s had been working on him, and onto a stretcher hustling him back
to the ambulance. Donna and Sam were precluded from going with, so they jumped into Sam’
s car to follow.
******************************
Leo arrived at GW only 20 minutes behind Sam and Donna.
“What do we know?” He demanded trying not to let his emotions take control of him.
“Nothing yet.” Sam answered throwing a concerned glance at Donna who was staring out the
window at nothing.
“There were pills?” Leo asked.
“4 different bottles.” Sam replied.
“5.” Donna corrected without looking over at them. “I don’t know if they were all his and what
they were for. I didn’t get a close look at any of them, and the EMT’s took them.”
Leo moved over and put an arm around Donna’s shoulder but she shrugged it off. “I’m going
to go get some coffee.” She whispered and quickly left the waiting room.
“The nurse said they won’t be able to tell us anything for awhile.” Sam offered. “He’s on life
support while they try to flush all the drugs out of his system. It’s taking a pretty hard toll on
his heart which wasn’t so good to begin with.”
Leo nodded. “Has anyone talked to Ruth? I tried her on my way over but I couldn’t get an
answer.”
“I did. She’s on her way here.”
“I need to call the President to update him.” Leo informed him. Donna returned shortly with a
cup of coffee but made no move to drink it; she just returned to her post by the window.
It was another hour before the ER doc came out to talk to them.
“Are you Mr. Lyman’s family?” the doctor asked.
“Yes.” Donna lied without hesitation.
“I’m Dr. Erin Dardin. Mr. Lyman is critical but stable. He’s on life support because he’s not
breathing consistently on his own. His left lung, that has been previously injured, is really
struggling to fight the drugs and keep inflating.”
“Did you pump his stomach?” Donna asked.
“It’s too dangerous when he’s unconscious and has a combination of drugs and alcohol in his
system. If he were to vomit and asphyxiate…We gave him activated charcoal to absorb the
drugs still in his digestive track. We’re also using something called Hemodialysis. That’s a
procedure where blood is circulated out of the body, pumped through a dialysis machine,
then reintroduced back into the body with the drugs filtered out. My primary concern at
present is his heart. His heart rate is extremely erratic. Now, overdoses can wreak havoc on a
system, but with the drugs indicated on these bottles, (she withdrew a plastic bag with 5 pill
vials in it) we shouldn’t be seeing this type of symptom. Are any of you familiar with his drug
regimen?”
“I am.” Donna volunteered and took the bag from the doctor. “These 3 are ones he normally
takes, but I’ve never seen the other two.” She handed the bag back.
“They all have Mr. Lyman’s name on them and they were all issued within the last week. Did
any of you have any reason to believe Mr. Lyman was unusually depressed or suicidal?”
Donna began crying softly, so Sam answered for them. “He was behaving a little strangely
and things were pretty stressful at work. You should also know he’s been diagnosed with
PTSD.”
“I have that in his case notes from his emergency room visit.” Dr. Dardin noted. “We’re moving
him upstairs. Once he’s settled in, you’ll be able to take turns sitting with him.”
“When will we know he’s out of the woods?” Leo ventured.
“If he starts breathing independently that will be a huge sign. Regaining consciousness would
also be very encouraging. The problem is threefold; 1) We have no idea how much alcohol he
drank 2) We have no idea how many pills he ingested 3) we have no idea how long ago he
took them. That’s a lot of variables.”
“Watching security tapes, we were able to determine he arrived back at the White House gate
at 12:23 am he went directly to his office from there. Does that help?” Leo offered.
“Every little bit helps.” Dr. Dardin agreed. “So we know the overdose occurred between about
12:30 and 7 am, right?”
“I opened the office at 6:57.” Donna confirmed. “I didn’t hear any noise from his office at all. I
didn’t even know he was there.”
Dr. Dardin put a hand on Donna’s arm. “We’re doing everything we can for him. If we don’t
see some improvement in the next 8 hours; we can talk about our options then.”
Donna didn’t know what she meant by options, but she knew she didn’t want to hear them
either.
“Donna?” C.J. called quietly when she arrived in the waiting room. The sense of déjà vu was
very strong here. “What’s the latest?”
“He’s still on life support and they’ve finished filtering his blood. Now we just wait. His mom is in
with him right now.”
“How is SHE doing?”
“She pretty much fell apart.” Donna responded tonelessly.
“Donna…I need to ask you about the 911 call…do you remember making it?”
“C.J. what the hell?”
“The transcripts are showing that you mentioned alcohol and pills. Is that accurate?”
“What is WRONG with you? Josh is in there fighting for his life, again, and you-“
“I’m doing the only thing I can do to help him right now; control the story so he still has a life to
get back to.” C.J. snapped.
“Go spin somewhere else.” Donna got up and left.
“Well that went well.” C.J. said to Sam.
“Give her a break. I can’t imagine what it was like to find him this morning.” Sam cautioned.
“Are you mad at me too?”
Sam let out a heavy sigh. “I’m not mad at anybody.”
“Even Josh?”
“Even Josh. He wasn’t himself lately; we all noticed something was off but then he’d have a
good day and we’d let it slide again.” Sam got up to pace when Ruth Lyman entered the
waiting room.
“Where’s Donna?” Ruth asked them both.
“She took a short walk.” Sam answered. “Is Josh awake?”
“No, but his arms and legs are twitching a little. The nurse thought it might be helpful to have
us take turns talking to him.” Ruth replied.
“I’ll go…if it’s okay with you?” Sam offered and Ruth smiled her thanks.
“C.J., I need to talk to you about your briefings.” Ruth told C.J., sitting next to her on a waiting
room couch.
“Was there something in particular you wanted me to say? A Message from the family?”
“Yes. I want you to thank everyone for their prayers and support. Then I want you to tell them
that no way in hell did my Joshua try to kill himself.”
“Mrs. Lyman, I think that because of the circumstances-“
“No way in hell, C.J. My son would never out me through that.” Ruth said determinedly. “You
tell them that, do you understand me?”
“Yes, ma’am.” C.J. replied just as Donna wandered back. When Donna saw Ruth she became
alarmed.
“Josh?”
“Still unconscious, Donna.” Ruth told her and motioned for Donna to come sit with her. “I was
just explaining to C.J. that I want her to tell those people that Josh would never try to kill
himself.”
Donna blinked. “I would never believe it either, Ruth, but I saw the empty pill bottles for myself.
Something was terribly wrong the last couple weeks; especially the last day or so. I just don’t
know what it was.”
“Well, we’re going to figure out what it was. There’s another explanation, Donna.”
Donna nodded her agreement.
“I need to get back to the White House. I’ll check back in later tonight.” C.J. told the women
when she left. Donna took no notice of C.J. and didn’t say goodbye. The absence of any
interaction did not escape Ruth Lyman.
************************************
Donna didn’t know what was worse; sitting in the waiting room waiting for some word Josh was
getting better, or waiting next to his unconscious form waiting for Josh to get better.
“Josh?” She called to him for the umpteenth time. “Please wake up now. We’re all waiting for
you to open your eyes. It’s going to be okay.”
No response at all.
“Your mom is here, too. She’s convinced you’re going to wake up any second now. You
wouldn’t be playing possum just to prove her wrong, would you?” Donna asked.
Still no response.
“You have to wake up, Josh. Once I see your eyes, it will make me feel so much better. You
owe me that after scaring 10 years off my life with this whole thing.”
Donna closed her eyes and sat back in her chair holding Josh’s hand and stroking it with her
fingers. At first, she thought the squeeze was her imagination, but then she felt it again and
she bolted upright; watching his face for any sign of movement. There! His eyelids were
fluttering.
“Josh?” Donna said excitedly. “Open your eyes for me.”
They fluttered again and he thrashed around a bit.
“Hold still, Josh. You’re in the hospital and you’re hooked up to all sorts of things. Lie still and
open your eyes.” Donna instructed and Josh’s eyes squinted open. “Well, hello there Joshua.”
Donna smiled and ran to the door, ignoring the nurses and the rules. “Ruth! Sam! Come
quick, he’s waking up!”
Needing no further prodding they ran into Josh’s room and saw that indeed Josh’s eyes were
slightly open.
Josh struggled against the breathing tube.
“Hold on. Don’t try to talk yet.” Donna told him. “You have a tube in your throat to help you
breath. I’m calling the nurse.” She said as she pressed the button for a nurse.
The nurse arrived very quickly and smiled at the now conscious form of Josh Lyman.
“You’re awake! That’s wonderful.” The nurse beamed at Josh and then his circle of friends
and family. “I’m guessing you’d like to get rid of that breathing tube?” While she spoke she
removed the medical tape around his mouth that helped hold the tube in place. “Okay, Mr.
Lyman, this isn’t going to feel great, but I’m fast and that will help. I’m going to count to 3 and
then I want you to cough as hard as you can, understand?” Josh nodded weakly. “One, two,
three.” The nurse counted and Josh coughed; almost immediately the tube was out of his
throat and Josh was coughing in earnest.
The nurse held out a drinking glass with a straw and urged Josh to take a sip. He tried to
reach for the cup but his hands were shaking too badly and the nurse had to hold the cup
while guiding the straw to his mouth.
“What happened?” Josh asked his voice raw and cracking. They all exchanged looks with one
another trying to decide what to say. Finally the nurse broke the silence.
“What’s the last thing you remember?” she asked.
“Got paged to the office. Was sitting at my desk; feeling really sick.”
“You don’t remember anything after that?” Sam clarified. Josh shook his head ‘no’. “Donna
found you unconscious in your office this morning.”
“Blood pressure?” Josh asked, puzzled.
“That’s not clear, right now.” Donna interrupted. “We’re just very relieved you’re awake and
breathing on your own.”
“You really have to stop these major medical events. If you want me to come visit, just call and
say so.” His mother teased gently, tears sliding down her face.
“I want to go home.” Josh said simply.
“They want to keep an eye on you for awhile.” Sam responded. “You’ve been very sick.”
“I’ll page Dr. Dardin. She’ll be in to check on you shortly.” The nurse told Josh before she left
hum.
“I’m going to go spread the word that you’re awake to the White House.” Sam smiled
reassuringly and left to make some calls.
“What aren’t you telling me?” Josh asked the two women he cared about most in the world.
Silence reigned in the room.
***********************
Jack Eggleton was pacing in Jeff Harmon’s office when he got back from lunch.
“What can I do for you Jack?”
“Josh Lyman is in critical condition at GW this morning. It’s all over the news; an apparent
‘suicide attempt’?”
“Well, you could really see that coming, couldn’t you?” Harmon replied. “He’s been teetering
on the edge for weeks.”
“Tell me this…incident has nothing to do with Brigham’s bill.” Jack Eggleton demanded.
“Of course it has something to do with the Brigham bill.” Jeff countered. “Lyman was
spearheading the effort to pass it. When he realized he wasn’t going to be able to get it
passed it pushed him over the precarious edge he’d been straddling for the last few weeks.”
“Jeff, this isn’t a game.” Jack protested.
“No, it’s not, and this isn’t Monopoly money either. This bill would cut Medalliance’s profits by
over $300 million dollars a year.” Jeff pointed out. “Lyman became a major obstacle in killing
the bill. It was Lyman as much as Brigham that managed to get it out of committee. He had to
be neutralized.”
“Neutralized? Does using that word make you feel better about associating with people who-“
“They’re your associates too, Jack.” Harmon reminded him. “You may not be in as deep as I
am, but that won’t matter if this bill passes and Medalliance wants to know just what they’ve
paid us all that money for; or this blows up in our faces and indictments get handed out.”
“What do you want from me?” Jack asked desperately.
“Exactly what you said you would do. Since Lyman’s story broke, they can’t plug the holes fast
enough in this bill. Talk to your caucus; make sure they’re all solidly on our side of the fence.
Then get yourself and our surrogates in front of any press you can find and spin this our
way.” Jeff instructed.
Jack Eggleton paused, staring at his long time friend and associate, then turned to follow his
directions.
*******************************
“Mr. Lyman, I’m so glad to see you awake and breathing on your own.” Dr. Dardin proclaimed
as she entered his room. “I’m Dr. Dardin. I treated you when you arrived this morning.”
“What time is it now?” Josh croaked.
“Nearly 4 in the afternoon.” Dr. Dardin told him and Josh frowned. “I’m going to ask you two
ladies to excuse us for a minute so I can give Mr. Lyman a quick check.”
“Sure.” Ruth replied, taking the arm of the worried young woman next to her and leaving her
son in the hands of the doctor.
“Now, Mr. Lyman…”
“Josh.” He corrected her.
“Josh.” She repeated as she checked his pupils. “Tell me what you remember about the last
24 hours.”
“Not a lot. The last thing I remember was sitting at my desk in my office.” Josh said tiredly. “I
was going to call Margaret to tell her I made it in when I felt really sick to my stomach; I
thought I was going to throw up. I laid my head on the desk to try and stop the dizziness and
then I woke up here. Dr. Bartlet gave me some new medication recently. Could this be side
effects from that?”
“Hmmm….I doubt that. Do you remember taking any medication when you got to your office?”
“No. My meds were all at home. Donna made sure I had them when I went home because I
had forgotten them the night before.”
“Did you eat or drink anything when you got to the office?”
“I…” Josh struggled to remember. “Water. I think I got some water out of my mini frig before I
sat down at my desk. What’s going on? I asked mom and Donna and they just wanted to wait
for you.”
Dr. Dardin, having finished her cursory examination sat next to Josh and put her arms on the
bed rail. “When you were brought in this morning, you weren’t able to consistently breathe on
your own, your pulse was thready, and your heart beat erratic.”
“Why? What’s happening to make me so sick?”
“Your assistant reportedly found you unconscious at your desk surrounded by empty pill
bottles and an empty liquor bottle.”
Josh instinctively shook his head ‘no’.
“You don’t remember taking any medication or drinking any alcohol at work last night?”
“I told you, my pills were all at home.” Josh insisted. “And I won’t say I’ve never had a drink at
the office, but I’d never drink when the White House Chief of Staff called me in for an
important vote.”
Dr. Dardin read the sincerity of her patients words; not that she couldn’t be fooled, but she
didn’t think that was the case here. Something about this whole situation was off.
“Nevertheless, you had a toxic amount of liquor and chemicals in your system when you were
brought in. If the overdose was accidental-“
“Overdose?!’ Josh’s crackly voice got louder. “I didn’t overdose. If anything, I sometimes
forget to take my pills; Donna has to remind me about them.”
“It’s standard in these cases to have a psychological evaluation performed.” The doctor
explained. “Someone will be down to see you shortly. In the meantime, you need to rest. We’
ve given you some activated charcoal to absorb the chemicals in your system as well as some
medications that will help you get rid of the chemicals through your digestive system. Be
careful when you get up to use the restroom; you’re going to be pretty weak and shaky for
awhile. Do you have any questions for me right now Josh?”
Josh was still stuck on the words ‘psychological evaluation’. “I’ve gone down the rabbit hole.”
He muttered. His strange segue had her turning back to him.
“What did you say Josh?”
“Like Alice in Wonderland. She goes down the rabbit hole and everything is turned upside
down and inside out. None of this makes any sense to me.” he said looking at Dr. Dardin
intently. “I did not try to kill myself.”
“Then we have a bit of a mystery to solve, don’t we?” Josh wasn’t sure he believed that she
believed him, but he did appreciate the fact that she used the word ‘we’.
******************************
When Donna and Ruth came back in, they found a very subdued Josh staring at the wall.
“Dr. Dardin said all your vitals are improving.” Ruth beamed.
Josh looked over and locked eyes with Donna. “I didn’t try to kill myself.”
Donna immediately started crying.
“Of course you didn’t.” Ruth agreed immediately taking his hand in hers. Josh didn’t break
eye contact with Donna.
“I didn’t try to kill myself, Donna.”
“It’s not your fault Josh. Clearly something is very wrong and-“
“Would you listen to me?!” Josh yelled. “I didn’t try to kill myself!”
“No, you listen.” Donna shot back. “There were empty pill bottles…all over…and I couldn’t tell
if you were breathing…and-“ Donna hiccupped from trying to cry and shout at the same time.
“I don’t know what happened. I don’t remember anything after I got in the office last night, but I
do know I am not suicidal. I feel more than a little crazy at the moment, but suicidal I am NOT!”
“Joshua calm down.” His mother told him, but instead he started to get up out of the bed to
get closer to Donna who had backed away slightly when he started yelling. His monitors were
blipping crazily and a nurse came in to see him attempting to stand and pulling on his IV tube.
“Mr. Lyman, please get back in bed. You’re too weak to stand without assistance.” The nurse
ordered.
Josh ignored his mom and the nurse. “Donna, listen to me. I know I’ve been…upset lately, but
I could never do that to you. And my mom? Donna, please believe me. Whatever happened I
did not do this.”
“Mr. Lyman, I’m not going to tell you again. Get back into bed!” the nurse repeated.
“Let me help you, Josh.” Donna offered and stepped forward to help him get back into bed.
He acquiesced and let her help him. She tucked him back into bed adjusting his blankets like
it was of the utmost importance. The nurse nodded at him and walked out past a tearful Ruth
Lyman. Josh took Donna’s hand from where it was smoothing a blanket and brought it to his
face, forcing her to look at him again.
“Never, Donna.” He vowed again.
“I believe you.” She answered and both heard and felt his sigh of relief.
“I don’t know what happened, Donna. God, I was in the White House!” Josh tipped his head
back in frustration. “None of this makes sense. I need to go back to the office; try to figure it
all out.”
“That’s not possible right now. You nearly died.” His mother reminded him.
“Mom, I didn’t do this to myself; which means someone else did it to me.” He argued.
“Which means the last place you’re going is back where they hurt you in the first place.” Ruth
used her maternal ‘don’t mess with me’ voice.
“Stop it.” Donna interrupted their spat. “It’s academic anyway. Josh, they’d never release you
under these conditions and you have to know they’ll be sending a psychologist in to do an
evaluation.”
“That’s what Dr. Dardin said.” Josh admitted glumly. “If I can’t get out, you need to bring
somebody in.”
“Who?” Donna asked.
“Mike Casper.”
***************************************
“Sir, the car is ready.” Charlie told the President.
“Thanks Charlie. Let Leo know, will you?” Jed answered absently. What the hell was
happening around here? Between the close call with Josh and the vote going down in flames;
today had turned out to be a real pisser. Leo walked in, still very subdued. Jed figured Leo’s
state of mind should probably move up on his priority list.
“You ready to go?” Jed asked his old friend.
“Yes, sir.”
Jed nodded and walked out with his usual entourage in tow. He didn’t say another word until
they were nearly at GW.
“You don’t need to do this with me. I can go in alone.” Jed assured him.
“No, sir. I should be there too.” Leo replied.
“If you change your mind once we’re in there-“
“Mr. President, please, enough.” Leo implored him.
They went, without another word, on the path cleared by the Secret Service. It wasn’t until
they were right outside his hospital room that they ran into an obstruction. The only kind of
obstruction that could impede the President of the United States; Ruth Lyman.
“Mr. President.” She greeted coolly. “Leo.”
“Mrs. Lyman, we’re all greatly relieved that Josh is out of the woods.” Jed offered.
“He’s not.” Ruth countered, forgoing the customary ‘sir’. “He’s not nearly out of the woods.
Someone tried to kill my son, President Bartlet; again, while he was working for you. He won’t
be out of the woods until he’s as far away from you people as possible.”
Jed Bartlet knew better than to mess with a mother protecting her son. “We’ll see if we can
expedite that, Mrs. Lyman.” Jed answered carefully. He then continued into Josh’s room where
Donna was sitting on the bed speaking to him in hushed tones. When she realized they had
arrived, she quickly stood up.
“Good evening, Mr. President, Leo” She acknowledged.
“Hello, Donna. Could we have the room please?” the President asked respectfully. Donna
threw a quick glance at Josh and receiving his nod, left without another word. Jed took that
time to study his Deputy Chief of Staff; he looked like hell. His eyes were bloodshot and had
dark circles underneath them. He looked pale and shaken. Jed caught himself before he
shook his head at the young man.
“Josh. We’re awfully glad to see you awake and alert.” The President began.
“Thank you sir.” Josh said quietly, the strain on his vocal cords evident in each word.
“Donna told me we lost the vote.” Josh continued.
“That’s the last thing you should be worried about, son.” Leo reluctantly joined the
conversation.
“It’s much easier to focus on how you’re going to get me to resign I imagine.” Josh intoned
watching for Leo’s reaction; he didn’t miss the older man’s wince.
“Josh, you need to focus on getting well, right now.” Jed tried to draw the man’s anger toward
him, but he refused to look away from Leo.
“I think I need to focus on what happened to me.” Josh replied steadily.
Jed and Leo exchanged a telling glance.
“Ron Butterfield is heading one of the investigations; since the…incident took place on
Federal property, the F.B.I. is heading their own investigation.” Leo reported. “Now that you’re
awake, I imagine they’ll each want to talk with you.”
“I imagine they will.” Josh agreed. “Maybe one of them can get to the bottom of this. Explain
how this happened.”
“I think your mom is anxious to have you go back home with her once you’re released.” Leo
added.
“Yeah, well that’s not going to happen.” Josh muttered.
“You’ve been through quite an ordeal, Josh. You’re going to need some time to recuperate
and-“
“I need to find out who did this to me.” Josh countered.
“Who did this to you?” Leo repeated. “Josh you were alone in your office at the White House.
Donna found pill bottles and liquor-“
“I didn’t take those pills.” Josh explained. “All my meds were at home.”
“You weren’t yourself. Obviously, you were dealing with more than we realized.” Leo
continued.
“I didn’t take those pills!” Josh nearly shouted.
“You don’t REMEMBER taking the pills, that doesn’t mean-“ Leo argued, but the President
interrupted him; holding a hand to Leo’s chest to keep him from talking.
“I don’t understand, Josh. The last we heard was that you couldn’t remember anything that
happened after you got to your office. Are you remembering that period of time now?” The
President asked gently and Josh could only shake his head ‘no’. “Then how can you be sure
you didn’t take those pills?”
Josh sat up straighter and looked the President in the eye. “I don’t remember exactly what
happened, but I wasn’t suicidal. And even if I WAS,” he went on before Leo could interrupt him
again, “I would never have done it in my office where Donna would have found me. In my
darkest days, can you ever imagine that I’d do that to Donna?”
Jed blinked and thought about that for a moment. Then he walked to the door and motioned
to the Secret Service agent.
“I want Ron Butterfield down here immediately.” The President ordered.
“Sir, he’s not available right now. He’s liaising with the F.B.I..” The agent replied.
“I’m sorry, I’m sure I didn’t just hear you tell the President of the United States that anyone
was unavailable to him.” Leo interjected.
“No, sir, of course not.” The agent responded immediately and contacted Ron Butterfield. “He’
ll be right over, sir.”
“Thank you.” President Bartlet said sardonically.
“What are you thinking, sir?” Leo asked.
“I’m thinking I want the report directly from Ron and I want Josh to hear it too.” He answered
simply.
There was a knock at the door and Donna came in. She threw a furtive glance at the
President.
“Josh, I made the call. He’ll be over as soon as he can.”
“Thanks, Donna.” He held his hand out to her and she walked over to take it in hers.
“You should try and rest until he gets here.” She admonished quietly.
“I can’t. The head of the Secret Service will be here shortly and I want to hear what he has to
say.” Donna’s eyes widened at that news.
“You and me both.” She agreed.
*******************************
Author: Cathy Miller (www.cathyswestwing.com
<http://www.cathyswestwing.com/> )
Timeline: 3rd Season, jumps AU after War Crimes
Rating: R for language and some adult themes, implied violence
Feedback: Encouraged
Disclaimer: I think they may be mine now, but I'm checking with my
lawyer.
"Bullshit."
"Excuse me." The Senator asked.
"Absolute Bullshit." Josh repeated.
"Mr. Lyman, please." The host interjected.
"Mr. Lyman really doesn't have anything of substance to refute
my arguments, so he's reduced to expletives." Senator Harmon
commented.
"The only substance Senator Harmon has in favor of his argument is
his loaded bank account from the special interest group that wants to
quash the bill." Josh retorted. "President Bartlet is far more
interested in what is in the best interests of the American people. And
he'll prove that 10 days from now when he signs Brigham's bill
into law as soon as it passes in the House and Senate."
"Just what are you accusing me of, Mr. Lyman?" The Senator
leaned forward.
"I'm accusing you of killing a bill that would help millions of
Americans because of the `contributions' you've received
from questionable individuals in special interest groups from your
district." Josh, too, leaned in and now he and Harmon were nose to
nose with a very nervous television host between them.
"How dare you…"
"Oh, it's not just me, Senator." Josh made the title sound
like an insult. "The Senate ethics committee will be requesting a
discussion with you very soon, but in the meantime, I am going to make
it my life's work to take you out of office and into an
interrogation room of an independent prosecutor. My life's
work." Josh repeated menacingly.
Harmon was a cool customer but Josh could see the beads of sweat pop out
on Harmon's upper lip and forehead. That was the trouble with
illegal activity; you could never be sure if you'd covered all your
tracks, and you could never know when you might get caught.
Josh knew he'd catch hell from Leo and the President for his little
tirade, but the guy was dirty. If Josh had…exaggerated his case a
little, it had simply been to see Harmon's reaction. Now that he
had, Josh was sure he was on the right track.
"And that's all we have time for this week." The
nerve-wracked substitute host of Capitol Beat broke in. "I'd
like to thank my guests, Senator Jeff Harmon, the Republican Senator
from Michigan, and Deputy Chief of Staff Josh Lyman. Please tune in next
week when Mark Godfrey returns to host the next edition of Capitol
Beat."
The music came up and the lights went down, but Josh and Harmon still
hadn't moved a muscle. The substitute host quickly vacated his
position like a nervous patron in a saloon where two poker players had
just pulled their guns from their holsters.
"You are going to regret that, Lyman."
"I sincerely doubt that, Harmon." Josh simply leaned back in his
chair until Harmon got up and left; his entourage in tow.
**************************
"Leo wants to see you in his office, immediately." Donna
reported as soon as he walked through the door.
"I wonder what he could want." Josh mused sarcastically.
"It's a puzzlement." Donna agreed. Josh checked her expression
but saw nothing there but humor. Things had been a little off with them
since their clandestine meeting with Cliff Calley, but maybe this
bantering was a sign that things were returning to normal; or at least
whatever passed for normal between them.
"You just had to shoot your mouth off didn't you?" She said
smirking.
"The man's a criminal Donna. What am I supposed to do sit across
from him and say nothing?"
"Preferably, yes. At least until you have proof of those charges,
or, he's, you know, indicted."
Josh said nothing about what his research had already turned up. One
couldn't work with Donna Moss for several years and not pick up a
few research pointers.
"So on the scale of `Josh Lyman on air temper tantrums', it
was pretty high up there, but not quite as bad as indicting God for tax
fraud." Donna concluded.
"I did not have a temper tantrum. It was an impassioned debate."
"I don't think your blood pressure can take much more
impassioned debating. You've been more impassioned than usual
lately, Josh."
"Right." Josh rolled his eyes and walked to Leo's office.
"Margaret? He wanted to see me. Is he with someone?"
"Yes, but he asked me to interrupt them when you arrived."
Margaret's words were innocuous enough, but her tone indicated
serious trouble for Josh.
"On a scale of 1-10?"
"Eleven." She deadpanned.
"Right." Josh bounced on the balls of his feet while he waited
for Leo to summon him. It took less than 30 seconds.
Leo's door opened and the transportation secretary exited, giving
Josh a sympathetic look.
Josh walked in and plopped down in the guest chair in front of Leo's
desk waiting for the scolding he knew was coming.
"Are you okay?" Leo asked concerned.
Josh blinked in surprise. This was not what he expected.
"Um….yeah." He answered carefully. Leo snapped his folder on
his desk and had Josh jumping.
"Then why the hell would you threaten a U.S. Senator with a criminal
investigation?"
"Because he's a crook?"
"And you have proof of that somewhere in your backpack?" Leo
demanded.
"Not proof as such…"
"Right. I forgot you were gone the day they taught evidence in law
school." Leo snapped. "Or how about innocent until proven
guilty? Does that little nugget ring a bell with you?"
"Vaguely." Josh replied.
"Don't be giving me any of you smart ass answers." Leo
shouted. "You wouldn't believe the screaming I've had to
endure since your impassioned plea on national television. The Democrats
are salivating over an ethics hearing I doubt will ever occur, and the
Republicans are rightfully incensed that the White House Deputy Chief of
Staff accused a ranking member of their party of ethics violations and
criminal misconduct."
"There's something there, Leo. I know it."
"Until you can prove it, shut your damn mouth." Leo ordered.
"You're going to issue an apology."
"Leo-"
"On second thought have Donna issue the apology on your behalf. I
don't trust you to handle that yourself."
"That's completely unfair." Josh complained.
"You have been surly, moody, and anxious for the last two weeks. If
there's a problem, handle it. If this is just you being you; stop
it." Leo instructed. "Get out and do a job that won't have
me receiving furious phone calls the rest of the day."
"Yes, sir." Josh said sarcastically and although Leo raised his
eyebrows at the tone, he made no further comment; just watched silently
as his Deputy left the office.
*****************************************
A week later the public apology was still grating on his nerves when
Josh ran into Harmon and his pack of wolves outside the Senate chamber.
Josh tried ignoring their approach as he lobbied Senator Stackhouse for
his vote; the Brigham health initiative bill was going to the floor in
two more days. Harmon, gloating a bit from the public apology made a
point of waiting until Josh was finished with Stackhouse before
approaching Josh.
Josh went out of his way to avoid the crowd, but it was to no avail.
"Thank your assistant for her lovely worded apology." Harmon
taunted. "Of course having worked for you all this time, she must
have had plenty of practice."
"Right." Josh agreed hoping to end this conversation and avoid
another lecture from Leo.
"How the mighty have fallen." Harmon continued. "Josh Lyman
is reduced to walking the hall to try to get votes for his bill."
"It's Senator Brigham's bill." Josh corrected. "And
I'd do more than walk the halls if it could shake a few votes loose
from the chokehold you and Medalliance seem to have over the
Senate." Josh rose to the bait, as Harmon imagined he would given
enough provocation.
"Medalliance has provided millions of people with quality health
care. After they're done explaining how detrimental your bill would
be to their constituents, Senators wisely agree to vote
`no'."
"Funny how their explanations always seem to come with checks that
have lots of zeroes written on them." Josh's voice was getting
louder. Howard Stackhouse continued walking away from the brewing
trouble; he opened the cell phone his oldest grandchild had programmed
for him and asked his assistant to connect him to Donna Moss in the
Deputy C.O.S. office.
"Are you accusing my fellow Senators of being bribed into their
`no' vote?" Harmon raised his voice too and a crowd was
generating around them.
"I'm just wondering whose interests you're serving, your
constituent's, or Medalliance's?" Josh tried to keep his
cool, but he could feel his heart rate increasing and his face flushing.
"Put up or shut up, Lyman." Harmon told him bluntly. "You
don't get to accuse me of wrongdoing just because you disagree with
my vote."
"No, but I can accuse you of wrongdoing when you trade votes for
campaign cash." Josh blasted.
"That's quite enough from you! Making accusations without any
merit, in front of my Senate colleagues? That's slander, Lyman.
I'd think someone who went to Yale would be cognizant of that
fact."
"I'll tell you what I'm cognizant of you piece of-" Josh
was interrupted by the distinctive ring of his cell phone. He had to
take two breaths before he could answer it.
"Josh Lyman." He ground out still keeping eye contact with
Harmon.
"The President needs you back here immediately." Donna lied
without a single qualm.
"What's going on?" he inquired and turned away from the
crowd while he began walking back to the White House.
"I'm not sure. I just got a phone call telling me to get you
back to your office immediately." That was true enough, Donna
thought to herself. Senator Stackhouse had been very insistent that she
get Josh back to his office at once. Something about a clash with Harmon
that was quickly going South. Ever since the Senator had found out that
it was Donna who had gotten the bill reopened for his Autism amendment,
he had made it a point to develop a relationship with her. He'd
called her personally to thank her for the vote and then subsequently
called her first whenever he had dealings with the White House. Donna
had been flattered by his friendship before. Today, she was grateful it
had spurred him to call her about Josh.
"I'll be right there." Josh snapped before hanging up.
Whatever was going on with Josh, he'd be back in his office shortly
and they could work through it.
Josh was clearly agitated when he entered his office. His face was still
red and his already active limbs seemed to be in overdrive. Donna took
all this in and tried to keep out of his way while she checked in with
him.
"How'd it go with Senator Stackhouse?' She asked lightly.
"I think he'll stay with us on this one, but I may send you for
the follow up. He likes you much better than me." Josh admitted but
still didn't sit or even take off his jacket.
"Well by that logic, I should do all your visits to the hill;
everyone there likes me much better than you."
Josh didn't smirk or even give her the dirty look she'd been
expecting. "What was so urgent? Does the President want me in the
Oval?"
"That…turned out to be a false alarm. Leo thought there was
going to be a thing and wanted you to come back to handle it, but
whatever it was must have gotten resolved."
"Son of a bitch!" Josh exclaimed. "I came all the way back
here for nothing?"
"Not nothing." Donna said in a calming voice. "You get to
see me, and since it's nearly lunch time, we could go down and get
some lunch. I have some questions about the notes you have on
Medalliance."
Josh continued to pace and didn't answer Donna. Donna's radar
was now screaming that something was wrong.
"You seem pretty upset, Josh. Did something happen on the Hill?"
"Damn Harmon and his attack dogs." Josh muttered. His desk phone
rang and Donna picked it up, afraid to let Josh answer it himself. It
was C.J. advising Donna to turn on MSNBC.
Donna picked up the remote control and turned the set to channel 31.
"…I think I'll just let my attorney speak to the unfounded
accusations the White House has made and used to smear my professional
reputation."
"Medalliance has made significant contributions to your campaign. Is
it unfair to ask if that has had an effect on your judgment on this
national health bill?" a reporter probed.
"Asking and accusing are two different things. If the White House
continues to send it's pit-bull, Josh Lyman, to slander sitting
Senators, President Bartlet is going to have extreme difficulty moving
any of his agenda through Congress."
"You and Mr. Lyman seem to have developed a particularly contentious
relationship. What seems to have set things off today?" another
reporter asked.
"A discussion about the health care bill. The man just doesn't
seem rational on this issue. It appears that he has some kind of
personal dog in this fight. Why is this bill sending the Deputy Chief of
Staff over the edge? Now I have the people's business to attend to.
Thanks for you time."
Donna muted the sound. Josh was still pacing and muttering.
"I tried to avoid him completely Donna. I swear; I agreed with him
and kept walking. HE followed ME."
"Have you eaten something today?"
"I'm not hungry!" Josh insisted. "Quit trying to be my
mother."
"Josh, you don't look good right now and you don't sound
very good. Please sit down. Grab a bottle of water from your frig. Have
you been taking your pills?" Josh was on a variety of blood pressure
and anti-anxiety medications since Rosslyn.
"Yes!" The vehemence of his response was enough to convince
Donna he was telling the truth. Besides, sometimes Josh forgot to take
his pills, but he'd never, to her knowledge, purposefully skipped
them or even resented having to take them. He just did.
"Okay." Donna soothed. "Please set your backpack down and
sit for a minute."
Josh complied. "Leo is going to have my head on a platter. He
specifically said-"
"I'm going to get you something to eat. Take a break from the
Brigham Bill and look at the notes I put together for the new teacher
standards." She instructed and was surprised to see him do as she
said.
Donna closed his door and put his phone line on Do Not Disturb. Donna
waived off C.J. who was on a march to Josh's office. She called the
First Lady's office and when she was through with that call, she
went to find Sam. He was deep in an argument with Toby about the
President's remarks on the Brigham Bill at a speech he was to give
that evening.
"Sam? Can I have a word with you?" she asked timidly. Toby
scowled but made no comment about her request or Sam's defection.
Once they were closed off in Sam's office, Donna spilled everything.
"You think it's the PTSD again?" Sam asked.
"It's something." Donna insisted. "He's not himself.
He's anxious and flies off the handle…" she broke off when she
saw Sam's smirk. "This isn't Josh telling the Speaker to
stick his legislative agenda up his ass. This is different."
Nobody could read Josh like Donna. Sam took that into consideration.
"What do you want me to do?"
"The First Lady is coming down shortly. Stay with him until she gets
there. I'm going to get him some food. He hasn't been eating
lately and he says he's having trouble sleeping. Distract him with
the teacher initiative. Ask him questions and-"
"I can handle distracting him." Sam interrupted. "Go get him
some food."
"Thanks Sam." Donna said sincerely.
Sam knocked softly on Josh's door, remembering that loud noises
could set things off for his friend when he was having an episode.
"Hey, have you got a minute?" Sam asked rhetorically.
"I'm putting together talking points for our surrogates on the
new teacher stuff and-"
"Donna sent you in here, didn't she?" Josh looked up wearily
at his friend. Sam noted the flushed skin and the bags under his eyes.
Donna was right. Something was off.
"You don't look so good, buddy." Sam leveled with him.
"Ha. I guarantee I look better than I feel." Josh laughed
humorlessly.
"Is it the PTSD?" Sam ventured carefully.
"Why is it than anytime I'm having a bad day, everybody jumps to
PTSD?!" Josh exclaimed and got up to pace again. Whoa! Sam literally
took a step back. Josh pulled out a bottle of water and nearly drained
it in one gulp.
"We're just worried about you, Josh." Sam said quietly.
Immediately, Josh deflated, and sat in one of the visitor chairs. All
the fight left him. What the hell? Sam wondered.
"I feel…off." Josh admitted quietly. "But it's NOT
like I felt at Christmas when Stanley came."
"Okay. Let's start there. Something is wrong. Maybe the
medication needs to be changed or the dosage. Maybe you're having
some new physical symptoms a doctor should check out."
"The Brigham vote goes to the floor in two days and I don't have
the votes yet. Look at my desk! I don't have time to go to the
doctor right now! Maybe after the vote." Josh relented when he saw
Sam's determined face.
A knock followed by a Secret Service agent seemed like perfect timing to
Sam; Josh rolled his eyes.
"Someone ordered a house call?" Abby Bartlet sing-songed.
"Not me." Josh replied.
"No, but you should have. Luckily you hired someone smarter than you
as your assistant. Take off you jacket and your shirt, Josh."
"Really, Mrs. B., I usually get dinner and drinks first." Josh
tried to joke.
"Your jacket and your shirt jackass, or I'll have Fred here help
and I guarantee you won't find that pleasant." Abby indicated
the Secret Service agent and Josh could have sworn the man smiled.
"Will you excuse us please gentlemen?" Abby asked her agent and
Sam to step out.
When Donna returned 10 minutes later, she found Josh sitting in his
visitor chair with his jacket off and his dress shirt unbuttoned. She
put his sandwich and soup in front of him and observed Abby's tense
body language.
"How's our patient doing, Dr. Bartlet?"
"His weight is down, is blood pressure is way up, and is heart rate
is erratic." Abby summarized.
"Hey, what happened to doctor/patient confidentiality?" Josh
protested.
"I'm not familiar with that concept, Joshua." Abby
countered.
"This is payback for the drinks and dinner comment, isn't
it?"
"Damn right it is." Abby agreed. "I just called in another
prescription. They should be delivering it shortly. I want you to
continue taking your regular meds; just add this one. It will help with
the blood pressure."
"Got it." Donna answered and Josh raised his eyebrows at her
answering for him.
"I'd also like you to go home and rest-"
"No way!" Josh protested. "We're on a deadline with the
vote and-"
"However, I will settle for you staying in your office provided you
put your feet up and eat the lunch Donna brought for you. This is
serious, Joshua." Abby made eye contact with until she felt he was
taking this as seriously as she was. Abby was very troubled by what she
was seeing with Josh. "Donna is going to be the enforcer. If you
don't follow my instructions to the letter she's making a call
to Fred here who will escort you out of the building."
Josh looked away from her but nodded.
"You're also going to see Dr. McIntosh first thing after the
vote." Abby dictated and Josh nodded again. "Fine. Eat your
lunch and get those votes. Too many Americans can't get access to
health care in this country."
Josh gave her a half-smile. "Yes, ma'am." Abby left with a
stern look in Donna's direction.
"You betrayed me Donna." Josh said wearily. "You went to the
First Lady of all people."
"And I would do it again in a heartbeat, Josh. Something is wrong
and you need some help."
"Medical or mental?" he asked dryly.
"I don't know, but whichever it is, we're taking care of it
now…together." Donna said firmly. Josh simply reached over and
took a bite of his sandwich.
***********************************************
"He won't let go of this, and he's starting to change
minds." Eggleton pointed out.
"There's a reason they call him a pit bull." Harmon replied
unconcerned.
"If this passes, there's going to be hell to pay. These people
don't mess around." Eggleton reminded him.
"I know who we're dealing with, Jack. I brought them to you,
didn't I? You'd never be in your Senate seat without their money
and their pull. How's that winter house in Fiji, Jack? The Swiss
accounts they set up for you?"
"Jesus, are they going to want all that back if Brigham's bill
passes?"
"I don't think they'll be collecting monetary
penalties." Harmon drawled. "You'd better get on the phone
with your caucus and make sure no one has hopped the fence. I dropped a
couple hints about Lyman's mental troubles in a few well placed
ears. They'll be broadcasting all about his delicate mental
condition and his PTSD by dinner. That should shore things up just
fine…."
**********************************************
Donna looked up as C.J. approached.
"I'm sorry I blew you off before but Josh couldn't handle
one more thing. His blood pressure and heart rate-"
"He's going to have to deal with one more thing." C.J.
replied.
"Senator Stackhouse stepped in before things completely blew. No one
is going to care what Harmon called Josh in the heat of the fight."
C.J. shook her head sadly. "Harmon I can spin, although I wish Josh
wouldn't give me quite so much to work with. This is something
else."
"What happened?"
"MSNBC is reporting that Josh has been diagnosed with Post Traumatic
Stress Disorder and is taking a variety of drugs as a result."
"Oh, God." Donna moaned. "Where did they get it?"
"They're claiming an anonymous source." C.J. told her.
"Can I go in now?" she indicated Josh's office.
"He's finishing up with a conference call. What's going to
happen now?"
"I want to talk to Josh first; give him a heads up. Then we'll
go see Leo."
"Then what?" Donna asked bluntly.
"I don't know." C.J. replied honestly. The light on
Josh's phone went out. "Give me 10 minutes, okay?" Donna
nodded as C.J. knocked and then entered Josh's office.
Not seconds later, Sam came to a screeching halt next to Donna's
desk.
"There's gonna be a thing." He said urgently.
"I know. C.J. is in telling him now. What happens next, Sam?"
"Under other circumstances we could probably deal but on top of the
M.S. disclosure…and with the critical vote riding on his
shoulders…" Sam stared hard at Josh's door like if he looked
long or hard enough he'd be able to see right through it.
"Shit." Donna responded.
"Yeah, shit." Sam agreed.
Josh went straight home after he and C.J. met with Leo even though it was still pretty early.
Donna didn’t know if that was a good sign or bad one. She kept her fingers crossed and
offered up a prayer. He didn’t answer when she called, but she hoped that meant he was
getting some much needed rest.
When he walked in the next morning, he had some of his usual swagger in his step that
Donna took as an encouraging sign.
“Hey, you look much better this morning.” She enthused.
“I feel much better, thank you.” Josh replied. “And thanks for calling Dr. Bartlet too. You
always know just what I need.”
Donna blushed slightly. “I’m just glad you’re feeling better. The pills Dr. Bartlet gave you must
have made a difference.”
“Yeah, I guess so, I’ll have to…” Josh broke off as he entered his office.
“What’s wrong?”
“My pills are still on my desk. Didn’t I bring them home last night?” He wondered out loud.
“I was with Ed and Larry when you came back from your meeting with C.J. and Leo. I don’t
know what you took with you.” Donna noted.
“Now I’m really going to give Dr. B crap. I do better off the medicine than I do on it!” he joked.
“Don’t push your luck.” Donna warned and got a bottle of water from his frig. “Take them now
before you start getting worse again.”
“Yes, Donnatella.” Josh smiled and took the pills. It was nice knowing how much she cared for
him.
That was the last smile Josh had all day. Now, there were actual pages of Josh’ medical
records and his emergency room visit floating around the White House press pool. The fact
that the E.R. doc had penned the words ‘psych eval’ as part of his notations did nothing to
improve matters.
Leo briefed the President on the latest regarding Josh’s PTSD disclosure.
“Harmon is using it to explain Josh’s increased hostility of late.” Leo said.
“Abby thinks he’s having physical symptoms that spell trouble. She says with the drugs he’s
on, there’s no way his blood pressure should be able to get so high. This business is only
going to make it worse.” Jed mused out loud.
Charlie came in and announced the arrival of C.J. and Josh.
“Good evening, Mr. President.” Chorused from both of them.
“C.J., Josh…I’m terribly sorry about this.” Jed apologized immediately. “We’re going to do
everything in our power to lessen the impact. Aren’t we C.J.?”
“Yes, sir.” C.J. agreed moments before Sam and Toby crashed the party.
“I’m hearing pages of Josh’s medical records are being passed around the hill.” Toby began.
“Who’s ass do I kick to Timbuktu for this?”
“When we figure it out, you’ll be the first to know.” C.J. answered.
“You’re going to bench me, aren’t you sir?” Josh asked quietly.
“Josh, I think your health should be our main concern right now.” The President replied evenly.
“Right. It’s all for my own good right?” Josh’s voice began to rise. “The fact that this personal
little bombshell is costing you votes has nothing to do with it, right?”
“Josh, if you have a coronary, that’s not going to alter the vote either.” Sam argued. “Let me
take you home. Maybe with some rest, tomorrow will be-“
“Will I have a chance to resign or will that choice be out of my hands too?” Josh ignored Sam
completely. Jed blinked. It felt a lot like it had that Christmas; not precisely the same, but
enough matched up to send shivers down the spines of Sam, Leo, and the President who’d
seen the first run.
“That’s enough.” Leo said firmly. “You can choose your chauffeur, but you’re leaving now.”
Josh could hear his own labored breathing. He looked from face to face and felt the walls
closing in on him. “Donna will take me.” He insisted. He didn’t trust these other people; but
Donna, Donna owed him for the diary thing, she would help him.
“Charlie!” Leo called and waited for the young man to come in. “Ask Donna to gather Josh’s
things. He’s going home sick and needs her to drive.”
“My meds are in the office.” Josh noted.
“I’ll have her get them.” Charlie assured the group at large. “Take care of yourself, man.” He
told Josh specifically. Josh gave no reply.
*************************************
“Lyman got 8 votes back.” Harmon announced to the man eating dinner with him. His dinner
companion seemed unconcerned.
“It won’t matter. They’ve been dropping like flies since the news of his mental problems
leaked. Nobody wants to do business with a lunatic. They’d already noticed his odd behavior;
this will just further cement their impression that he’s out of it.”
“But what if-“ Harmon began.
“Relax. I told you it wasn’t going to be an issue. The altered medication he’s been taking took
care of act 1. Act 2 will have a more dramatic finale. The great thing about being associated
with Medalliance is all the access one has to drugs. Starting tomorrow, Josh Lyman will cease
to be a thorn in our side. You have my word.” His companion assured him.
**************************************
Donna opened Josh’s door. He walked in lethargically and crashed on the couch.
“Maybe if I got a hold of Peterson…” he mused. Donna ignored him while she poured him
some water and handed him his pills which he swallowed immediately.
“He could sway Jacobs and then-“
“You’re not calling, you’re not swaying.” She decided and took his cell phone away. She
unplugged his wall phone too.
“You can’t completely cut off my contact with the outside world!” he protested.
“You still have the kitchen phone if you MUST make a 911 call or something; I’ll just turn the
ringer down.” She argued. “And you’ve got your pager if they need you to come in and work
the vote.”
“Donna, you don’t understand. They’re already this close to firing me.” Josh held his thumb
and forefinger an inch apart. “If I lose this vote too…it will be just the excuse they’re looking
for.”
“Josh, you’re sick and overtired. Nobody is looking for an excuse to get rid of you.”
“They’ll probably keep you. Toby could use you; or C.J. I guess.” He mused. His mental path
was freaking her out.
“I’ve blown it for the last time.” He said sadly. “And with the PTSD all over the news, nobody in
politics will ever hire me again.”
“You need some sleep. Do you want me to stay here for awhile?” Donna offered.
“No. They’re going to need your help. Votes will be flying out the window thanks to me.”
“Thanks to the bigots who shot you.” Donna corrected. “I put the sandwich in the frig. Call me
if you need anything else. I won’t call you in case you’re sleeping.”
Josh made no reply just continued to stare at the ceiling from his position lying on the couch.
With some reservation, Donna left him to rest. Abby assured her the pills she’d prescribed
would help him sleep too.
*******************************
The next thing Josh knew, his vibrating pager was waking him up. Groggily he pulled it off his
belt and tried to read the message. ‘Meet Leo in your office.” Shit. Leo finally called for his
help, and the pills he took made him too disoriented to actually help. Josh shook his head,
trying to clear his brain. He reached for his keys, then though better of it and called a cab.
The cab ride made him feel a bit nauseous and he had to pause outside the White House
gate for a minute before he could walk inside. He must have been more tipsy than he realized
since he ran into two different pedestrians despite the late hour.
He cleared security and went directly to his office. He pulled a cold bottle of water from his frig
and drank it down hoping it would help negate the medicinal effects. He sat in his chair and
reached for his phone to let Margaret know he had arrived when another wave of nausea hit
him; he had to put his head down for a moment.
********************************
Donna decided she would wait until 8 to call Josh and check in with him. That would give her
an hour to get things rolling in the office and see what Toby and Sam needed for the vote
today; it was going to be close but they had until 4:00 this afternoon to make it happen.
She let the switchboard know that Operations was up and running. She flipped on her
computer and hung up her coat. She picked up the phone again and retrieved Josh’s
messages from overnight; grimacing that 3 of them were from his mother, Ruth Lyman. She’d
call Ruth back first and reassure her.
It took another five minutes to convince Ruth that Josh was at home with the phone off the
hook on Dr. Bartlet’s orders. She prioritized and printed up Josh’s call sheet and went to place
it on his desk.
She wasn’t alarmed at first to see him asleep at his desk. She’d found him like that on more
than one occasion; but she was annoyed that he’d ignored everyone and come back to the
office at some point during the night. She was about to drop some files on the desk to awaken
him in style when she noticed the empty liquor bottle. Looking closer she saw it looked like the
bottle of Scotch that Toby kept in his office for particularly hard days, but she still wasn’t
alarmed. Leave it to Josh to have a drunken pity party in his office and expect her to clean it
all up afterwards. Then she saw the empty pill bottles…3…4…5 of them; she counted as she
scanned his desk and floor. Her heart stopped and she called for help.
She picked up the phone to dial 911 even as she checked him for breathing and a pulse. She
couldn’t tell about the pulse, but she though she felt his exhaled breath when she pulled his
head up from the desk. A couple early bird staffers responded to her call just as 911
answered.
“Get help!” she spoke to everyone simultaneously.
“What is your emergency Ma’am?” the 911 operator asked.
“I need an ambulance. Josh is unconscious.”
“Is he breathing?”
“I can’t…I think so, but I’m not sure.”
“How long has he been unconscious?”
“I don’t know. I just found him like this when I opened his office door.”
“Do you know what caused him to be unconscious?”
“I don’t…there’s alcohol and empty pill bottles.” Donna nearly choked on the words and was
relieved to see E.M.T.’s enter the office. “Please just send the ambulance right away. The
Deputy Chief of Staff’s office at the White House.”
“An ambulance will be there right away, Ma’am. Why don’t you stay on the line until it gets
there.” The operator suggested.
“That’s okay the EMT’s are here now.” Donna replied and quickly hung up the phone.
“His pupils are fixed.” One of the technicians noted. “I’m getting a thready pulse and
decreased breath sounds; particularly in the left lung.”
“His lung was injured. So was his heart. He was shot. They’d have his records at GW.” Donna
offered as Sam came careening around the corner.
“Okay. We need you to move out of the office Ma’am so we can help him. Please step out. Let’
s get him started on the charcoal.” Donna walked backwards until Sam caught her in his arms.
“What the hell happened?” Sam demanded.
“I thought he just fell asleep, then I thought he was just hungover; then I saw the empty pill
bottles. God, Sam, I should have never left him alone last night.” Sam held her closer as he
watched the technicians begin CPR and talk about pumping Josh’s stomach before negating it
as being too dangerous while he was still unconscious.
“We’d better call Ruth before she sees this on the news.” Sam noted softly.
At his words, Donna started crying harder. “I just got off the phone with her and told her he
was at home sleeping. She thanked me for taking such good care of him.”
“It’s not your fault, Donna. Try to calm down.” Sam rubbed her back then looked behind them
at the crowd that had gathered. “Everyone go back to your desks, please.” The onlookers
slowly dispersed with whispered opinions about what might have happened.
Ron Butterfield sliced through the crowd. “What happened?”
Donna reviewed the events of last evening and this morning, but Ron did nothing but give an
occasional nod. When Donna had finished her recital, he addressed the two agents who were
with him.
“As soon as the medical team is through in there; seal the room, 24 hour watch.”
“Yes, sir.” The first agent replied.
At that moment, the ambulance crew arrived and took over. Within seconds they had Josh off
the floor, where the EMT’s had been working on him, and onto a stretcher hustling him back
to the ambulance. Donna and Sam were precluded from going with, so they jumped into Sam’
s car to follow.
******************************
Leo arrived at GW only 20 minutes behind Sam and Donna.
“What do we know?” He demanded trying not to let his emotions take control of him.
“Nothing yet.” Sam answered throwing a concerned glance at Donna who was staring out the
window at nothing.
“There were pills?” Leo asked.
“4 different bottles.” Sam replied.
“5.” Donna corrected without looking over at them. “I don’t know if they were all his and what
they were for. I didn’t get a close look at any of them, and the EMT’s took them.”
Leo moved over and put an arm around Donna’s shoulder but she shrugged it off. “I’m going
to go get some coffee.” She whispered and quickly left the waiting room.
“The nurse said they won’t be able to tell us anything for awhile.” Sam offered. “He’s on life
support while they try to flush all the drugs out of his system. It’s taking a pretty hard toll on
his heart which wasn’t so good to begin with.”
Leo nodded. “Has anyone talked to Ruth? I tried her on my way over but I couldn’t get an
answer.”
“I did. She’s on her way here.”
“I need to call the President to update him.” Leo informed him. Donna returned shortly with a
cup of coffee but made no move to drink it; she just returned to her post by the window.
It was another hour before the ER doc came out to talk to them.
“Are you Mr. Lyman’s family?” the doctor asked.
“Yes.” Donna lied without hesitation.
“I’m Dr. Erin Dardin. Mr. Lyman is critical but stable. He’s on life support because he’s not
breathing consistently on his own. His left lung, that has been previously injured, is really
struggling to fight the drugs and keep inflating.”
“Did you pump his stomach?” Donna asked.
“It’s too dangerous when he’s unconscious and has a combination of drugs and alcohol in his
system. If he were to vomit and asphyxiate…We gave him activated charcoal to absorb the
drugs still in his digestive track. We’re also using something called Hemodialysis. That’s a
procedure where blood is circulated out of the body, pumped through a dialysis machine,
then reintroduced back into the body with the drugs filtered out. My primary concern at
present is his heart. His heart rate is extremely erratic. Now, overdoses can wreak havoc on a
system, but with the drugs indicated on these bottles, (she withdrew a plastic bag with 5 pill
vials in it) we shouldn’t be seeing this type of symptom. Are any of you familiar with his drug
regimen?”
“I am.” Donna volunteered and took the bag from the doctor. “These 3 are ones he normally
takes, but I’ve never seen the other two.” She handed the bag back.
“They all have Mr. Lyman’s name on them and they were all issued within the last week. Did
any of you have any reason to believe Mr. Lyman was unusually depressed or suicidal?”
Donna began crying softly, so Sam answered for them. “He was behaving a little strangely
and things were pretty stressful at work. You should also know he’s been diagnosed with
PTSD.”
“I have that in his case notes from his emergency room visit.” Dr. Dardin noted. “We’re moving
him upstairs. Once he’s settled in, you’ll be able to take turns sitting with him.”
“When will we know he’s out of the woods?” Leo ventured.
“If he starts breathing independently that will be a huge sign. Regaining consciousness would
also be very encouraging. The problem is threefold; 1) We have no idea how much alcohol he
drank 2) We have no idea how many pills he ingested 3) we have no idea how long ago he
took them. That’s a lot of variables.”
“Watching security tapes, we were able to determine he arrived back at the White House gate
at 12:23 am he went directly to his office from there. Does that help?” Leo offered.
“Every little bit helps.” Dr. Dardin agreed. “So we know the overdose occurred between about
12:30 and 7 am, right?”
“I opened the office at 6:57.” Donna confirmed. “I didn’t hear any noise from his office at all. I
didn’t even know he was there.”
Dr. Dardin put a hand on Donna’s arm. “We’re doing everything we can for him. If we don’t
see some improvement in the next 8 hours; we can talk about our options then.”
Donna didn’t know what she meant by options, but she knew she didn’t want to hear them
either.
“Donna?” C.J. called quietly when she arrived in the waiting room. The sense of déjà vu was
very strong here. “What’s the latest?”
“He’s still on life support and they’ve finished filtering his blood. Now we just wait. His mom is in
with him right now.”
“How is SHE doing?”
“She pretty much fell apart.” Donna responded tonelessly.
“Donna…I need to ask you about the 911 call…do you remember making it?”
“C.J. what the hell?”
“The transcripts are showing that you mentioned alcohol and pills. Is that accurate?”
“What is WRONG with you? Josh is in there fighting for his life, again, and you-“
“I’m doing the only thing I can do to help him right now; control the story so he still has a life to
get back to.” C.J. snapped.
“Go spin somewhere else.” Donna got up and left.
“Well that went well.” C.J. said to Sam.
“Give her a break. I can’t imagine what it was like to find him this morning.” Sam cautioned.
“Are you mad at me too?”
Sam let out a heavy sigh. “I’m not mad at anybody.”
“Even Josh?”
“Even Josh. He wasn’t himself lately; we all noticed something was off but then he’d have a
good day and we’d let it slide again.” Sam got up to pace when Ruth Lyman entered the
waiting room.
“Where’s Donna?” Ruth asked them both.
“She took a short walk.” Sam answered. “Is Josh awake?”
“No, but his arms and legs are twitching a little. The nurse thought it might be helpful to have
us take turns talking to him.” Ruth replied.
“I’ll go…if it’s okay with you?” Sam offered and Ruth smiled her thanks.
“C.J., I need to talk to you about your briefings.” Ruth told C.J., sitting next to her on a waiting
room couch.
“Was there something in particular you wanted me to say? A Message from the family?”
“Yes. I want you to thank everyone for their prayers and support. Then I want you to tell them
that no way in hell did my Joshua try to kill himself.”
“Mrs. Lyman, I think that because of the circumstances-“
“No way in hell, C.J. My son would never out me through that.” Ruth said determinedly. “You
tell them that, do you understand me?”
“Yes, ma’am.” C.J. replied just as Donna wandered back. When Donna saw Ruth she became
alarmed.
“Josh?”
“Still unconscious, Donna.” Ruth told her and motioned for Donna to come sit with her. “I was
just explaining to C.J. that I want her to tell those people that Josh would never try to kill
himself.”
Donna blinked. “I would never believe it either, Ruth, but I saw the empty pill bottles for myself.
Something was terribly wrong the last couple weeks; especially the last day or so. I just don’t
know what it was.”
“Well, we’re going to figure out what it was. There’s another explanation, Donna.”
Donna nodded her agreement.
“I need to get back to the White House. I’ll check back in later tonight.” C.J. told the women
when she left. Donna took no notice of C.J. and didn’t say goodbye. The absence of any
interaction did not escape Ruth Lyman.
************************************
Donna didn’t know what was worse; sitting in the waiting room waiting for some word Josh was
getting better, or waiting next to his unconscious form waiting for Josh to get better.
“Josh?” She called to him for the umpteenth time. “Please wake up now. We’re all waiting for
you to open your eyes. It’s going to be okay.”
No response at all.
“Your mom is here, too. She’s convinced you’re going to wake up any second now. You
wouldn’t be playing possum just to prove her wrong, would you?” Donna asked.
Still no response.
“You have to wake up, Josh. Once I see your eyes, it will make me feel so much better. You
owe me that after scaring 10 years off my life with this whole thing.”
Donna closed her eyes and sat back in her chair holding Josh’s hand and stroking it with her
fingers. At first, she thought the squeeze was her imagination, but then she felt it again and
she bolted upright; watching his face for any sign of movement. There! His eyelids were
fluttering.
“Josh?” Donna said excitedly. “Open your eyes for me.”
They fluttered again and he thrashed around a bit.
“Hold still, Josh. You’re in the hospital and you’re hooked up to all sorts of things. Lie still and
open your eyes.” Donna instructed and Josh’s eyes squinted open. “Well, hello there Joshua.”
Donna smiled and ran to the door, ignoring the nurses and the rules. “Ruth! Sam! Come
quick, he’s waking up!”
Needing no further prodding they ran into Josh’s room and saw that indeed Josh’s eyes were
slightly open.
Josh struggled against the breathing tube.
“Hold on. Don’t try to talk yet.” Donna told him. “You have a tube in your throat to help you
breath. I’m calling the nurse.” She said as she pressed the button for a nurse.
The nurse arrived very quickly and smiled at the now conscious form of Josh Lyman.
“You’re awake! That’s wonderful.” The nurse beamed at Josh and then his circle of friends
and family. “I’m guessing you’d like to get rid of that breathing tube?” While she spoke she
removed the medical tape around his mouth that helped hold the tube in place. “Okay, Mr.
Lyman, this isn’t going to feel great, but I’m fast and that will help. I’m going to count to 3 and
then I want you to cough as hard as you can, understand?” Josh nodded weakly. “One, two,
three.” The nurse counted and Josh coughed; almost immediately the tube was out of his
throat and Josh was coughing in earnest.
The nurse held out a drinking glass with a straw and urged Josh to take a sip. He tried to
reach for the cup but his hands were shaking too badly and the nurse had to hold the cup
while guiding the straw to his mouth.
“What happened?” Josh asked his voice raw and cracking. They all exchanged looks with one
another trying to decide what to say. Finally the nurse broke the silence.
“What’s the last thing you remember?” she asked.
“Got paged to the office. Was sitting at my desk; feeling really sick.”
“You don’t remember anything after that?” Sam clarified. Josh shook his head ‘no’. “Donna
found you unconscious in your office this morning.”
“Blood pressure?” Josh asked, puzzled.
“That’s not clear, right now.” Donna interrupted. “We’re just very relieved you’re awake and
breathing on your own.”
“You really have to stop these major medical events. If you want me to come visit, just call and
say so.” His mother teased gently, tears sliding down her face.
“I want to go home.” Josh said simply.
“They want to keep an eye on you for awhile.” Sam responded. “You’ve been very sick.”
“I’ll page Dr. Dardin. She’ll be in to check on you shortly.” The nurse told Josh before she left
hum.
“I’m going to go spread the word that you’re awake to the White House.” Sam smiled
reassuringly and left to make some calls.
“What aren’t you telling me?” Josh asked the two women he cared about most in the world.
Silence reigned in the room.
***********************
Jack Eggleton was pacing in Jeff Harmon’s office when he got back from lunch.
“What can I do for you Jack?”
“Josh Lyman is in critical condition at GW this morning. It’s all over the news; an apparent
‘suicide attempt’?”
“Well, you could really see that coming, couldn’t you?” Harmon replied. “He’s been teetering
on the edge for weeks.”
“Tell me this…incident has nothing to do with Brigham’s bill.” Jack Eggleton demanded.
“Of course it has something to do with the Brigham bill.” Jeff countered. “Lyman was
spearheading the effort to pass it. When he realized he wasn’t going to be able to get it
passed it pushed him over the precarious edge he’d been straddling for the last few weeks.”
“Jeff, this isn’t a game.” Jack protested.
“No, it’s not, and this isn’t Monopoly money either. This bill would cut Medalliance’s profits by
over $300 million dollars a year.” Jeff pointed out. “Lyman became a major obstacle in killing
the bill. It was Lyman as much as Brigham that managed to get it out of committee. He had to
be neutralized.”
“Neutralized? Does using that word make you feel better about associating with people who-“
“They’re your associates too, Jack.” Harmon reminded him. “You may not be in as deep as I
am, but that won’t matter if this bill passes and Medalliance wants to know just what they’ve
paid us all that money for; or this blows up in our faces and indictments get handed out.”
“What do you want from me?” Jack asked desperately.
“Exactly what you said you would do. Since Lyman’s story broke, they can’t plug the holes fast
enough in this bill. Talk to your caucus; make sure they’re all solidly on our side of the fence.
Then get yourself and our surrogates in front of any press you can find and spin this our
way.” Jeff instructed.
Jack Eggleton paused, staring at his long time friend and associate, then turned to follow his
directions.
*******************************
“Mr. Lyman, I’m so glad to see you awake and breathing on your own.” Dr. Dardin proclaimed
as she entered his room. “I’m Dr. Dardin. I treated you when you arrived this morning.”
“What time is it now?” Josh croaked.
“Nearly 4 in the afternoon.” Dr. Dardin told him and Josh frowned. “I’m going to ask you two
ladies to excuse us for a minute so I can give Mr. Lyman a quick check.”
“Sure.” Ruth replied, taking the arm of the worried young woman next to her and leaving her
son in the hands of the doctor.
“Now, Mr. Lyman…”
“Josh.” He corrected her.
“Josh.” She repeated as she checked his pupils. “Tell me what you remember about the last
24 hours.”
“Not a lot. The last thing I remember was sitting at my desk in my office.” Josh said tiredly. “I
was going to call Margaret to tell her I made it in when I felt really sick to my stomach; I
thought I was going to throw up. I laid my head on the desk to try and stop the dizziness and
then I woke up here. Dr. Bartlet gave me some new medication recently. Could this be side
effects from that?”
“Hmmm….I doubt that. Do you remember taking any medication when you got to your office?”
“No. My meds were all at home. Donna made sure I had them when I went home because I
had forgotten them the night before.”
“Did you eat or drink anything when you got to the office?”
“I…” Josh struggled to remember. “Water. I think I got some water out of my mini frig before I
sat down at my desk. What’s going on? I asked mom and Donna and they just wanted to wait
for you.”
Dr. Dardin, having finished her cursory examination sat next to Josh and put her arms on the
bed rail. “When you were brought in this morning, you weren’t able to consistently breathe on
your own, your pulse was thready, and your heart beat erratic.”
“Why? What’s happening to make me so sick?”
“Your assistant reportedly found you unconscious at your desk surrounded by empty pill
bottles and an empty liquor bottle.”
Josh instinctively shook his head ‘no’.
“You don’t remember taking any medication or drinking any alcohol at work last night?”
“I told you, my pills were all at home.” Josh insisted. “And I won’t say I’ve never had a drink at
the office, but I’d never drink when the White House Chief of Staff called me in for an
important vote.”
Dr. Dardin read the sincerity of her patients words; not that she couldn’t be fooled, but she
didn’t think that was the case here. Something about this whole situation was off.
“Nevertheless, you had a toxic amount of liquor and chemicals in your system when you were
brought in. If the overdose was accidental-“
“Overdose?!’ Josh’s crackly voice got louder. “I didn’t overdose. If anything, I sometimes
forget to take my pills; Donna has to remind me about them.”
“It’s standard in these cases to have a psychological evaluation performed.” The doctor
explained. “Someone will be down to see you shortly. In the meantime, you need to rest. We’
ve given you some activated charcoal to absorb the chemicals in your system as well as some
medications that will help you get rid of the chemicals through your digestive system. Be
careful when you get up to use the restroom; you’re going to be pretty weak and shaky for
awhile. Do you have any questions for me right now Josh?”
Josh was still stuck on the words ‘psychological evaluation’. “I’ve gone down the rabbit hole.”
He muttered. His strange segue had her turning back to him.
“What did you say Josh?”
“Like Alice in Wonderland. She goes down the rabbit hole and everything is turned upside
down and inside out. None of this makes any sense to me.” he said looking at Dr. Dardin
intently. “I did not try to kill myself.”
“Then we have a bit of a mystery to solve, don’t we?” Josh wasn’t sure he believed that she
believed him, but he did appreciate the fact that she used the word ‘we’.
******************************
When Donna and Ruth came back in, they found a very subdued Josh staring at the wall.
“Dr. Dardin said all your vitals are improving.” Ruth beamed.
Josh looked over and locked eyes with Donna. “I didn’t try to kill myself.”
Donna immediately started crying.
“Of course you didn’t.” Ruth agreed immediately taking his hand in hers. Josh didn’t break
eye contact with Donna.
“I didn’t try to kill myself, Donna.”
“It’s not your fault Josh. Clearly something is very wrong and-“
“Would you listen to me?!” Josh yelled. “I didn’t try to kill myself!”
“No, you listen.” Donna shot back. “There were empty pill bottles…all over…and I couldn’t tell
if you were breathing…and-“ Donna hiccupped from trying to cry and shout at the same time.
“I don’t know what happened. I don’t remember anything after I got in the office last night, but I
do know I am not suicidal. I feel more than a little crazy at the moment, but suicidal I am NOT!”
“Joshua calm down.” His mother told him, but instead he started to get up out of the bed to
get closer to Donna who had backed away slightly when he started yelling. His monitors were
blipping crazily and a nurse came in to see him attempting to stand and pulling on his IV tube.
“Mr. Lyman, please get back in bed. You’re too weak to stand without assistance.” The nurse
ordered.
Josh ignored his mom and the nurse. “Donna, listen to me. I know I’ve been…upset lately, but
I could never do that to you. And my mom? Donna, please believe me. Whatever happened I
did not do this.”
“Mr. Lyman, I’m not going to tell you again. Get back into bed!” the nurse repeated.
“Let me help you, Josh.” Donna offered and stepped forward to help him get back into bed.
He acquiesced and let her help him. She tucked him back into bed adjusting his blankets like
it was of the utmost importance. The nurse nodded at him and walked out past a tearful Ruth
Lyman. Josh took Donna’s hand from where it was smoothing a blanket and brought it to his
face, forcing her to look at him again.
“Never, Donna.” He vowed again.
“I believe you.” She answered and both heard and felt his sigh of relief.
“I don’t know what happened, Donna. God, I was in the White House!” Josh tipped his head
back in frustration. “None of this makes sense. I need to go back to the office; try to figure it
all out.”
“That’s not possible right now. You nearly died.” His mother reminded him.
“Mom, I didn’t do this to myself; which means someone else did it to me.” He argued.
“Which means the last place you’re going is back where they hurt you in the first place.” Ruth
used her maternal ‘don’t mess with me’ voice.
“Stop it.” Donna interrupted their spat. “It’s academic anyway. Josh, they’d never release you
under these conditions and you have to know they’ll be sending a psychologist in to do an
evaluation.”
“That’s what Dr. Dardin said.” Josh admitted glumly. “If I can’t get out, you need to bring
somebody in.”
“Who?” Donna asked.
“Mike Casper.”
***************************************
“Sir, the car is ready.” Charlie told the President.
“Thanks Charlie. Let Leo know, will you?” Jed answered absently. What the hell was
happening around here? Between the close call with Josh and the vote going down in flames;
today had turned out to be a real pisser. Leo walked in, still very subdued. Jed figured Leo’s
state of mind should probably move up on his priority list.
“You ready to go?” Jed asked his old friend.
“Yes, sir.”
Jed nodded and walked out with his usual entourage in tow. He didn’t say another word until
they were nearly at GW.
“You don’t need to do this with me. I can go in alone.” Jed assured him.
“No, sir. I should be there too.” Leo replied.
“If you change your mind once we’re in there-“
“Mr. President, please, enough.” Leo implored him.
They went, without another word, on the path cleared by the Secret Service. It wasn’t until
they were right outside his hospital room that they ran into an obstruction. The only kind of
obstruction that could impede the President of the United States; Ruth Lyman.
“Mr. President.” She greeted coolly. “Leo.”
“Mrs. Lyman, we’re all greatly relieved that Josh is out of the woods.” Jed offered.
“He’s not.” Ruth countered, forgoing the customary ‘sir’. “He’s not nearly out of the woods.
Someone tried to kill my son, President Bartlet; again, while he was working for you. He won’t
be out of the woods until he’s as far away from you people as possible.”
Jed Bartlet knew better than to mess with a mother protecting her son. “We’ll see if we can
expedite that, Mrs. Lyman.” Jed answered carefully. He then continued into Josh’s room where
Donna was sitting on the bed speaking to him in hushed tones. When she realized they had
arrived, she quickly stood up.
“Good evening, Mr. President, Leo” She acknowledged.
“Hello, Donna. Could we have the room please?” the President asked respectfully. Donna
threw a quick glance at Josh and receiving his nod, left without another word. Jed took that
time to study his Deputy Chief of Staff; he looked like hell. His eyes were bloodshot and had
dark circles underneath them. He looked pale and shaken. Jed caught himself before he
shook his head at the young man.
“Josh. We’re awfully glad to see you awake and alert.” The President began.
“Thank you sir.” Josh said quietly, the strain on his vocal cords evident in each word.
“Donna told me we lost the vote.” Josh continued.
“That’s the last thing you should be worried about, son.” Leo reluctantly joined the
conversation.
“It’s much easier to focus on how you’re going to get me to resign I imagine.” Josh intoned
watching for Leo’s reaction; he didn’t miss the older man’s wince.
“Josh, you need to focus on getting well, right now.” Jed tried to draw the man’s anger toward
him, but he refused to look away from Leo.
“I think I need to focus on what happened to me.” Josh replied steadily.
Jed and Leo exchanged a telling glance.
“Ron Butterfield is heading one of the investigations; since the…incident took place on
Federal property, the F.B.I. is heading their own investigation.” Leo reported. “Now that you’re
awake, I imagine they’ll each want to talk with you.”
“I imagine they will.” Josh agreed. “Maybe one of them can get to the bottom of this. Explain
how this happened.”
“I think your mom is anxious to have you go back home with her once you’re released.” Leo
added.
“Yeah, well that’s not going to happen.” Josh muttered.
“You’ve been through quite an ordeal, Josh. You’re going to need some time to recuperate
and-“
“I need to find out who did this to me.” Josh countered.
“Who did this to you?” Leo repeated. “Josh you were alone in your office at the White House.
Donna found pill bottles and liquor-“
“I didn’t take those pills.” Josh explained. “All my meds were at home.”
“You weren’t yourself. Obviously, you were dealing with more than we realized.” Leo
continued.
“I didn’t take those pills!” Josh nearly shouted.
“You don’t REMEMBER taking the pills, that doesn’t mean-“ Leo argued, but the President
interrupted him; holding a hand to Leo’s chest to keep him from talking.
“I don’t understand, Josh. The last we heard was that you couldn’t remember anything that
happened after you got to your office. Are you remembering that period of time now?” The
President asked gently and Josh could only shake his head ‘no’. “Then how can you be sure
you didn’t take those pills?”
Josh sat up straighter and looked the President in the eye. “I don’t remember exactly what
happened, but I wasn’t suicidal. And even if I WAS,” he went on before Leo could interrupt him
again, “I would never have done it in my office where Donna would have found me. In my
darkest days, can you ever imagine that I’d do that to Donna?”
Jed blinked and thought about that for a moment. Then he walked to the door and motioned
to the Secret Service agent.
“I want Ron Butterfield down here immediately.” The President ordered.
“Sir, he’s not available right now. He’s liaising with the F.B.I..” The agent replied.
“I’m sorry, I’m sure I didn’t just hear you tell the President of the United States that anyone
was unavailable to him.” Leo interjected.
“No, sir, of course not.” The agent responded immediately and contacted Ron Butterfield. “He’
ll be right over, sir.”
“Thank you.” President Bartlet said sardonically.
“What are you thinking, sir?” Leo asked.
“I’m thinking I want the report directly from Ron and I want Josh to hear it too.” He answered
simply.
There was a knock at the door and Donna came in. She threw a furtive glance at the
President.
“Josh, I made the call. He’ll be over as soon as he can.”
“Thanks, Donna.” He held his hand out to her and she walked over to take it in hers.
“You should try and rest until he gets here.” She admonished quietly.
“I can’t. The head of the Secret Service will be here shortly and I want to hear what he has to
say.” Donna’s eyes widened at that news.
“You and me both.” She agreed.
*******************************
HOME
Down the Rabbit Hole 1-4
Down the Rabbit Hole 5-8
Down the Rabbit Hole 9-12
Down the Rabbit Hole 13-16
Down the Rabbit Hole 1-4
Down the Rabbit Hole 5-8
Down the Rabbit Hole 9-12
Down the Rabbit Hole 13-16
