Chapter 20
“The AP is reporting that Mrs. Santos called for birth control to be covered by health
care plans.” Ronna hesitantly told Josh when she interrupted Leo’s debate prep. Josh
made no response. Ronna exchanged glances with Leo, who shrugged. “She said if the
Republicans are serious about reducing abortions, they should join with the
Congressman in demanding that birth control be covered by health insurance.”
Still no response from Josh.
“Maybe we should throw something into the Congressman’s next stump, just to clarify
things.” Lou suggested.
“Don’t worry about it.” Josh finally spoke up. Nobody replied. “It’s just a little love note
from Donna. Don’t worry about it. Annabeth, I want Otto playing Sullivan for our next run
through.”
“I’ll take care of it.” Annabeth promised.
“David, let’s come up with another answer on the school vouchers.” Josh instructed.
“What’s wrong with the answer we’ve got?” David inquired.
“I could say that it sounded moronic, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings, so let’s just
say it missed the mark.” Josh told him.
“Oh-Kay.” David got up and left the room. Annabeth gave Josh a dirty look.
“What? I re-phrased it.” Josh defended himself.
“It doesn’t help much when you re-phrase it out loud instead of in your head.” Lou
noted. Josh’s temper had been at record proportions the last two days and few had the
courage to call him on it. Lou, however, was one of them.
“He’s a big boy.” Josh maintained. “That’s all people. Everyone back here at 3 for a final
run through.” The room emptied except for Leo and Josh.
“Donna’s sending you love notes through the AP?” Leo asked.
“We’ve never been a traditional couple.” Josh answered without looking at Leo.
“Truer words were never spoken. Still…I can’t help but notice you’ve been a little more
on edge than is typical for you at this point in a campaign. I’m hoping that’s not entirely
due to my lackluster performance in these debate practices.”
“You’re doing fine.” Josh lied smoothly. “This is all new for you, which is why we do this
prep.”
“Very nice piece of misdirection, son, but why don’t you tell me why Donna is
communicating with you through AP and Stanley hasn’t been able to get in touch with
you for the last few days.”
“I’ve been a little busy, in case you haven’t noticed, and what the hell is Stanley doing
calling you anyway?” Josh demanded.
“He was a little concerned when you refused to answer or return any of his calls. He
called me to find out if you were unconscious or something.”
“Not yet.” Josh quipped.
“You need to call Stanley back, Josh. In fact now would be a good time.” Leo suggested.
“Maybe you haven’t noticed but I don’t work for you anymore Leo. You can’t order me to
call Stanley or do anything else.” Josh told him forcefully and Leo was surprised by the
anger he saw in Josh’s eyes. Leo felt the pain of Josh’s jab stab him right in the heart.
“You think this is about work?” Leo asked, the hurt he felt evident in his voice.
“I think that my communication with Stanley and Donna is none of your business.” Josh
replied.
Leo blinked. “This is why you sent Donna on the swing with Helen. You’re pushing her
away too, aren’t you? Did you suffer some blow to the head that is impairing your
cognitive functions?”
“Don’t talk to me like that, you’re not my father.” Leo doubted Josh could have said
anything designed to hurt him more.
“That’s really too bad since you could use one right now who could kick your ass for
treating the woman you love like shit.” Leo opined. “But as you say, that’s your personal
screw up and none of my business. What is my business is how you’re running this
campaign and treating our staff. You’d better straighten up soon, or I swear to God,
Joshua, Matt Santos and I will bench you.” Leo threatened before he left Josh alone.
When the team re-convened at 3 for the final run through before the debate that night,
Leo was all business and didn’t look at or talk to Josh at all. The run through went as
well as could be expected but Leo was still shaky. On top of that, someone was leaking
details of Leo’s less than stellar performance to the press and Josh was on a rampage
about it.
Leo finally called an end to the whole deal, claiming he needed food and some down
time before the debate started. The room emptied out completely leaving Josh in a
solitary confinement of his own making. He was thinking about going back to his hotel
room but Donna was returning shortly and he didn’t want to deal with that before the
debate. So he stayed and worked in the conference room, skipping dinner and ignoring
anyone who came by.
At 6:00, just 60 minutes before the debate was due to begin. There was a knock on the
conference room door.
“Josh Lyman?” a young voice asked.
“Yeah, what do you need?”
“I have a delivery for you.” The young man told him and began to unpack cartons of
food. Josh opened them to find a burnt hamburger, fries, and a salad.
“Thanks.” Josh said quietly and handed the kid a tip. It looked like Donna was back.
*******************************************
“Donna!” Annabeth exclaimed when she opened her hotel room door. “You’re back. You
and Helen have done a great job the last few days.” Annabeth looked curiously at the
luggage Donna was toting behind her. “Did you get locked out of your room?”
“Not exactly.” Donna fidgeted nervously. “Would it be okay if I stayed here tonight,
Annabeth?”
“Of course.” She agreed without any hesitation. “Is everything okay, Donna? Never
mind, of course everything isn’t okay or you wouldn’t be bunking with me. Can I do
anything?”
“No, but thanks. I need to work some things out with Josh, but I don’t want to disturb him
before the debate. He’s going to have to do spin and respond to press…”
“I get it.” Annabeth assured her. “But aren’t you coming down to the auditorium too?”
“It’s kind of in my job description, so yes, but I wish I would skip it.” Donna admitted.
“Leo did a little better in our last run through.” Annabeth grinned. “However, that’s not
saying much.”
“Annabeth!”
“Donna, I adore the man, you know I do, but seriously…I’m concerned about tonight.”
“Why don’t we ignore the last part of that statement and concentrate on this first. I
couldn’t help but notice there seems to be an electric current in the air between you and
our Vice-Presidential candidate.” Now it was Donna’s turn to grin.
Annabeth tilted her head. “You don’t think it’s a bad idea? Leo is always going on about
our difference in age.”
“I think that although it would be nice, we don’t get to choose who we fall in love with.”
Donna offered. “I think if you’re lucky enough to find that with someone, you shouldn’t
give it up over the small stuff.”
“Are you taking your own advice, Dr. Donna?”
“Unfortunately, the stuff with Josh isn’t small stuff. So I need to be cautious about how
and when I proceed, but I have no intention of giving it up.”
Annabeth nodded, pleased with Donna’s answer. “Then let’s get changed and head to
the auditorium. We may have a long night ahead of us.”
The debate was terrific; Leo had been lowering expectations all along it seemed. Donna
and Annabeth exchanged happy grins as it concluded and they, along with the rest of
the staff, gathered around Josh for their marching orders.
“Looks like Leo messed with all of us this week.” He noted. “He gave us plenty to work
with so go out and sell it. The numbers are telling us that health care and education
were the topics to hit tonight, so please emphasize the details of the Santos Health and
education plans. I’m on my cell if anyone needs me.”
Josh watched as Donna walked away without a word to him. He couldn’t really discuss
anything with her now, anyway, but he would have liked to have at least had a word or
two with her. It couldn’t be helped; he guessed and turned to face the reporters coming
his way. They’d have time and privacy to talk tonight in their hotel room after the post
debate spin.
Josh hadn’t seen Donna in almost an hour by the time he finished up at the debate site.
He figured she’d gone back to the hotel with some of the others. When he entered their
rooms it was eerily quiet. Maybe she went out for drinks with the gang or something.
Though it hurt that he hadn’t been included in their plans, he didn’t really blame them
for excluding him given the way he’d been acting lately.
He settled down on the couch determined to wait up for her until she returned and
turned on the TV to catch some late night election coverage. The next thing he knew,
he woke up from dozing to see that it was after 3 AM. First, he felt a trickle of alarm that
Donna wasn’t back yet. Then a though occurred to him. He went back to their bedroom
and saw none of her stuff. Even if she went out with everyone after the debate, she
would have first dropped off her luggage and stuff, yet none of it was present. Donna
wasn’t coming back here after all, it seemed.
Josh threw himself down on the bed and fell into a restless sleep. He thought he was still
dreaming when he heard her call his name.
“Josh? Josh, wake up.”
“Donna? You came back.” In his half conscious state, he moved automatically to touch
her face with his hand. “What time is it?”
“A little after 5. You have to get up. There’s been a nuclear accident at a power plant in
San Andreo California.” Donna said urgently. “The Congressman wants everyone in his
suite right away.”
Without another word, she turned and left him looking after her.
************************************************
Chapter 21
"I say we go completely dark. Let the press go after Vinick on their own." Josh
suggested.
"I'm fine doing nothing on this issue." Santos replied.
"I mean nothing on any issue.... We just stay right here." Josh countered and Donna
could see the wheels turning in the Congressman’s head. Because she had some
discussions with Helen, she knew Matt was concerned about Josh’s state of mind. Now,
she imagined, Matt was trying to decide if Josh was brilliant or insane.
“Okay, we go dark.” Matt agreed and several members of the staff left to cancel
engagements and inform the press of their change in plans.
Donna risked a look at Josh. His eyes were heavy lidded and had dark circles
underneath them. She resisted the urge to go to him. It would have to wait until they had
a moment alone. Matt Santos turned up the television as news clips of Vinick touting
nuclear energy during the debate were being played over and over.
Tracy, the sitter who traveled with the Santos family, came in. “Mrs. Santos, Miranda
woke up crying again. Can you come?”
“Of course.” Helen hurried out of the room. Donna knew, because she’d been traveling
with Helen and the kids, that Josh wasn’t the only one having trouble sleeping, but she
could see the look of concern that crossed Josh’s face at the thought that Miranda was
suffering.
“Congressman, is Miranda…has she been having…is she alright?” Josh asked.
“She’s been having bad dreams since the shooting. She seems okay during the day,
but something happens at night.” Matt told Josh who really needed no explanation of
how that could happen.
Donna couldn’t watch the interaction. She went over to the laptop set up on the table
and began a search.
****************************************
Two hours later, she was standing in front of Matt and Josh holding the valuable
information she’d uncovered.
“Vinick pushed the licensing commission to get San Andreo up and running 25 years
ago." She told them and handed the paper to Josh who shared it with Matt. They read it
twice before looking back up at Donna. Matt handed it back to her.
“Hide it under a mattress.” He instructed her before turning to Josh. “We are not leaking
that.”
“I’m fine with that for now, but there may come a time we need to help the story along,
sir.”
Matt indicated the television that was doing nothing but covering San Andrea and Vinick’
s statements about nuclear power over the years. “I think the story is getting along just
fine without us. You were the one who convinced me we can’t appear to be making
political capital out of this.”
“Again, there may come a time-“
“No.” The Congressman repeated, then made eye contact with Donna to be sure
everyone understood his intentions. She nodded her comprehension.
Various staffers had been coming in and out of the Santos suite for hours without giving
even a cursory knock on the door, so it surprised Josh when he heard several loud raps
on the door to the suite. Puzzled, he walked over and opened the door to none other
than Stanley Keyworth.
Stanley walked in without invitation, merely nodding his head toward Joshua. Josh
turned an accusatory glance at Donna.
“What the hell did you do?” he demanded.
“I made a phone call, Joshua; at the request of the Congressman, to-”
“Then the CONGRESSMAN can damn well meet with him.” Josh exploded. “I’m busy
running a Presidential campaign right now.”
“Doesn’t look like you’re doing much at all, actually.” Stanley interjected.
“We’re not.” Matt agreed. “We’ve decided to stay dark today, maybe tomorrow too
depending on how this plays out. However, I-“
Matt was interrupted by the arrival of Helen Santos.
“Dr. Keyworth?” she guessed. “Thank you so much for taking the time. When Donna
told me how good you were and that you were relatively close by, I took advantage of
the relationship you have with her and asked her to call in a favor for Miranda.”
“It’s not a problem, Mrs. Santos. That’s what we do at ATVA.” Stanley responded.
“Helen, please. I just wanted to be sure that you know how much Matt and I appreciate
the trip you made out here. Where do you think it would be best to talk to Miranda?”
“Anyplace that she feels comfortable, Helen, would be fine.”
“Tracy is going to take Peter down to swim for a bit, so you could use the kids’ room.”
Helen suggested. “Did you want to speak to her alone, or should one of us be with her?”
“I’d like you to stay until she gets to know me a bit, then I’ll send you on an errand.”
“Then you’ll meet with us and let us know how it went?” Matt inquired.
“Absolutely, Congressman.” Dr. Keyworth assured them both.
“Come right this way and I’ll introduce you to Miranda.” Helen gestured the direction and
Stanley followed behind her. As he passed an open mouthed Josh, he quietly said,
“Some people are actually glad to see me.” and cracked a small smile before
disappearing into the kids’ bedroom with Helen.
Josh pivoted back to Donna, mindless of their audience. “You called Stanley for
Miranda?”
“People involved in traumatic events frequently need help.” Donna let that set in a
moment before she continued. “When Helen asked my advice about what they could do
for Miranda, I suggested calling Stanley at ATVA.”
“Since we’re sitting here, just a couple hours from his office, it seemed like the perfect
opportunity to set something up.” Matt added.
“Yeah, he’s…he’s very good.” Josh noted.
“He certainly is.” Donna agreed with a pointed look at Josh before she too, left the room.
“You need to go talk to her Josh. Now would be a good time.” Matt suggested. Josh only
hesitated a second before hurrying after her. He caught up with her in the hallway, just
before she let herself into Annabeth’s room.
“Donna, wait…” Josh called to her from down the hall. “Can I…can we talk for a minute?”
“Sure.” Donna answered but didn’t move from in front of Annabeth’s door.
“Someplace more private than a hotel hallway?” Josh suggested. Donna nodded and
pulled out the extra key card to let them into Annabeth’s room, but Josh stopped her.
“You got a different room?” he asked, his face all scrunched up with hurt.
“I stayed with Annabeth last night.” Donna corrected him.
“Why?”
“I didn’t think you wanted company.” Donna told him plainly.
“I did.” Josh told her and she looked at him skeptically. “I sort of did.”
“I need a little more than to be sort of desired for company.”
“I know.” Josh admitted. “Will you come back to our room with me? To talk? If you don’t
want to stay with me, that’s fine…well, it isn’t fine, but I mean-“
“I know what you mean, Joshua.”
“You always do…Will you come back with me?” he asked frightened of the answer she
might give either way.
Donna simply nodded and followed him further down the hall to where they had been
staying together. Josh impressed himself and Donna by getting the door unlocked on
the first try.
Once they were inside, Josh got them both a bottle of water form the frig before sitting
across from her in the sitting area.
“What are you doing Josh?” Josh’s head popped up at her blunt question. “Why are you
pushing me away from you?”
“I’m not trying to push-“
“The hell you’re not.” Donna replied hotly, tired of the denial. “If you’ve had some
change of heart about us..”
“Donna, no, I swear, that’s not what this is about.”
“Then what is it about?” she pushed.
“I’m not entirely sure.” Josh said sadly.
“Gee, maybe you could talk to someone and try to find out.” Donna drawled. “If only we
knew someone in the mental health profession…someone who could talk you through
this and help you sort things out.”
“Please don’t mock me right now.”
“Then don’t treat me like this, Josh.” Donna responded. “I have done nothing but try to
help you, and you have done nothing but try to hurt me for it.”
“I couldn’t…I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
“Like what?” Donna asked incredulously. “Hurt, scared, upset?”
“Mentally unbalanced!” Josh shouted.
“Josh Lyman I’ve worked with you for 8 years, if you don’t think I’ve seen you mentally
unbalanced on more than once occasion you are sadly mistaken.”
“This is not funny, Donna.”
“It certainly isn’t.” she agreed. “It’s not funny that you would ask me to marry you and
then at the first sign of trouble, ship me off on a campaign swing to avoid talking to me
either.”
“That’s not what I- okay, it’s a little what I did.” Josh admitted. “I didn’t want you to see
me falling apart. I’m a mess Donna, and Stanley or no Stanley, there is no cure for
PTSD.”
“How can someone as bright as you be so blatantly stupid?” Donna asked sincerely and
had Josh bobbling his bottle of water. “When you came to Germany, I was about as
broken as anyone could be. They told us there was a chance I’d never walk again. If
that had been the case, would your feelings for me be any different?”
“Of course not.” Josh answered.
“Then why would mine change about you because of what you’re going through?”
“It seems too much to ask anyone to deal with. I have all these scars, Donna.”
“I’ve seen every one of them. Your scars are part of who you are; of the man I love.”
“I just don’t get why.”
“You’re an idiot.” Donna answered. “And you don’t have to get why I love you, but you
do need to believe that I do.” Donna leaned closer to him and kissed him softly. “I’ve
missed you so much, Josh.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” He said quietly and kissed her back. It quickly became heated
before pulling away to look into her eyes. “It wasn’t just this that I missed.” He indicated
the physical contact. “I missed talking to you, holding you…just being with you. Don’t
stay in Annabeth’s room anymore.”
“Okay.” Donna agreed and earned a grin from Josh. A hour later when Donna went
back to Annabeth’s room to get her things, she opened the door to find Leo and
Annabeth engaged in a very serious discussion and Leo was holding her hand; which
he quickly dropped when he spotted Donna.
“I’m so sorry.” Donna apologized. “I was just coming to get my things. I’ll come back
later.” She exited before they had a chance to say a word. When she returned to her
room, Josh looked at her lack of belongings with puzzlement.
“Where’s your stuff?”
“I’m going to have to get it later. It seems I interrupted Annabeth and Leo.”
“They can do campaign stuff while you get your things.” Josh said obtusely.
“No, Joshua, I interrupted Annabeth and Leo.” Donna repeated and watched as her
fiancé struggled to interpret what she was saying.
“Annabeth and Leo doing what…Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!”
“I’m really not.”
“But he’s…she’s…”
“Don’t you dare, Josh Lyman. You just take care of your own personal relationship and
keep your nose out of theirs. Understand?”
“No problem.” Josh shook his head. “I wouldn’t be caught within a city block of
discussing that with anyone.”
*******************************
It was nearly dinner time when Josh got the call he’d been waiting for. He told Donna he
was leaving and walked down the hall to ‘accidentally’ run into Stanley Keyworth as he
left the Santos suite.
“Josh, funny running into you here.” Stanley said sarcastically.
“I asked the Congressman to call before you left.” Josh replied seriously. “I know I don’t
have an appointment or anything, but I was hoping maybe I could buy you some dinner
and we could talk.”
“Josh Lyman, are you asking me out?” Stanley asked and had Josh barking out a laugh.
“Maybe if I weren’t in a committed relationship right now.” Josh teased back.
“Are you in a committed relationship right now?” Stanley shot back.
“December 20th.” Josh replied.
“Pardon me?”
“Our wedding date. We set it a couple hours ago.” Josh explained.
“That does sound committed. Well then, since a relationship is out, I guess I’ll settle for
dinner.” Stanley quipped and slapped Josh’s shoulder while they walked to the hotel
restaurant.
********************
Chapter 22
“December 20th, huh? Where is this momentous event going to take place?” Stanley
asked after they’d ordered their dinner.
“The White House.” Josh broke into one of his famous grins. “Dr. Bartlet is apparently
insisting.”
“A White House wedding after a year of Presidential campaigning and, what, 6 weeks
after the Presidential election?” Stanley noted. “Just how are you going to pull that off?”
“They’re called mothers, Stanley. We each have a biological one, and then there’s Dr.
Bartlet, who has kind of adopted both of us. The big bonus is that they’ll take care of
everything and Donna will be spared any more of the planning calls. It’s a win/win.”
“That should be something to see.” Stanley commented.
“We’ll make sure you get tickets.” Josh assured him before sobering his expression. “I’m
sorry I lied to you the other day; about having to get off the phone.”
“This may shock you, but it isn’t the first time someone has lied to me to avoid talking
about a painful subject. It isn’t even the first time that YOU’VE lied to me to avoid talking
about a painful subject.”
“Yeah. Anyway, I’m sorry about that.”
“So why did you decide to talk now?”
“I figured if an eight your old child could deal with her demons I ought to be able to deal
with mine…plus, I sort of promised Donna.” Josh’s trademark dimples appeared.
“That I believe.” Stanley responded. “Tell me about the shooting.”
“There’s not much to tell that you haven’t already gotten from the news, Stanley.”
“I couldn’t get your perspective from the news.”
“We were walking to the rally. Miranda and I had fallen a little behind the rest of her
family. She was asking me questions and it was hard to hear her, so we had to stop a
couple times…Anyway, she had just pointed something out to me in the crowd when we
hit the ground. The Secret Service was on top of us. Next thing I knew I was carrying her
to a van, the agent with us shoved us inside and we sped away. Miranda was practically
hysterical. The rest of her family was in a different vehicle. They wouldn’t even let us
talk to them until we were back at the hotel.”
“An hysterical 8 year old girl who’d been separated from her family. How did you handle
that?”
“I’ve gotten to know Miranda pretty well during the campaign, mostly because she
adores Donna and is always hanging around her. I just held her, talked to her, and tried
to distract her.”
“That’s about all you can do in that situation Josh. How did Miranda respond?”
“She was still upset. 20 questions distracted her a bit, but I could tell she was still
scared.”
“She told me you suck at 20 questions.” Stanley smiled.
“Isn’t it like a break of confidentiality to tell me what she told you?”
“She also said she didn’t know what would have happened to her if you hadn’t been with
her.”
“The agents were right there. She’d have been fine.” Josh insisted.
“Maybe, but that wasn’t her perception. In her mind, you saved her. Just like in your
mind, you didn’t save Joanie.”
“This has nothing to do with Jo-“
“Are you going to try to tell me that wasn’t going through your mind as the van was
speeding to the hotel? An eight year old child, separated from her family, wondering if
anyone in her family was injured or dead. You’re way too bright not to see the parallels.”
Josh rubbed his forehead with his fingertips. “I just wanted my mom and dad; the night
of the fire. I just wanted to see them or hear their voices. Every time Miranda asked for-
begged for her parents it made shivers go down my spine.”
“How could it not? Then you compound that with memories from Rosslyn…I’m surprised
you were still able to stand when you got to the hotel.”
“It was close, but I made it to our room before my knees buckled.” Josh looked lost for
moment before he continued. “I sank to the floor and if I’d had the power of movement, I
would have left before Donna got back.”
“I would have thought that was the one person you’d want to see. Having someone you
love beside you when you’re going through difficulties is one of the best things about
having someone you love.”
“Not when the someone you love is me.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that anyone who gets too close to me is… I’m a catastrophe magnet, Stanley.
It’s like some kind of Midas touch in reverse.”
“So far, I seem to have avoided any freak accidents.” Stanley responded.
“That’s because we’ve mostly interacted over the phone.” Josh countered.
“You seriously believe that your relationship with people puts them at risk?”
“I feel like it does.” Josh corrected him. “My sister, my Dad, the President, Leo, Donna,
even Miranda-“
“Whoa…slow down.” Stanley interrupted.
“It’s the truth Stanley.”
“It feels like the truth, Josh.” Stanley threw his own words back at him. “You’re not
keeping Donna safe by keeping her away from you, you’re keeping yourself isolated
and hurting the woman you love.”
“I don’t want to hurt her.” Josh insisted.
“No, you want to save her; and in this case that means removing her from close
proximity to you. It’s the same dynamic that’s been playing out for you since you ran out
of a house that was on fire.”
“I’m not…Stanley, I’m not saying-“ He was interrupted by the waiter delivering their
dinners. “Thank you.” He said to the waiter. “I’m not saying that what happened when I
was kid-“
“You mean the fire that took your sister’s life.”
“Yes.” Josh said shortly.
“And the fact that you’re pushing Donna, and anyone else you care about away from
you also keeps anyone from seeing how disturbed you’ve been since the shooting at
the rally.”
“Yes.” Josh said again.
“Just like you’ve had to learn how to remember Rosslyn without re-living it? You’re also
going to have to remember the fire without feeling like you’re responsible for your sister’
s death.”
“But-“
“There’s an 8 year old girl upstairs who would tell you what your presence and your
connection with her meant to her when she was scared and vulnerable. There’s a
woman upstairs who would tell you how you’ve changed her life forever since the very
first day you met her. Your Dad, the President, Leo; each one would tell you that you’ve
added to their lives, not detracted from them.”
“What about Joanie?”
“What about her?”
“You’re not going to give me some line about how it wasn’t my fault she died in that fire?”
“You know that already.”
“Then why did this, bring all that, back into my head? Into my nightmares?”
“I believe being with Miranda is what set everything off. It was just too close a
resemblance to what you went through; except for the tragic ending. You’re biggest fear
is someone you love leaving you, but it’s inevitable that people will leave you Josh. It isn’
t punishment and it isn’t personal.”
Josh continued to pick at his food, but Stanley could see he wasn’t really interested in
eating.
“What if this…I…get worse?”
“PTSD isn’t progressive, Josh.”
“I know that, but things were going really well for awhile. Now it all feels like it’s going to
hell again.”
“It’s a temporary thing. The more you talk about it, the more you share your fears, the
more bearable things will be and you’ll get back to a place where you’re doing really
well.”
“How soon could I expect that to happen, exactly?”
“The less you hang up on your therapist, the sooner it will occur.” Stanley told him,
tongue in cheek.
“The nightmares…they’re pretty intense. All the scenes get mixed up together. Rosslyn,
the rally, the fire, even Gaza and I wasn’t even there!” Josh complained.
“But someone you love was.” Stanley pointed out. “Your emotional psyche is trying to
sort everything out. People who’ve been through trauma have to work through it and if
they don’t do it consciously, then the unconscious will take care of it.”
“Right.”
“In the meantime, I wouldn’t have a problem giving you a short term prescription for
some sleeping pills; provided you keep our telephone appointments.”
“You’re not worried about giving me sleeping pills?”
“Do you think you’re suicidal Josh?”
“No, but I don’t feel like I’m in control either.”
“That would be because you’re not. That’s part of your problem. When you’re in charge
of everything you’re responsible for everything. Maybe it’s time to admit you’re not in
charge and let go of some of that responsibility.”
“I can try.”
“Josh, that’s all any of us can do.”
************************************
Josh raised his hand and knocked on the door. Leo opened it within seconds.
“Have you got a minute?” Josh asked him.
“For you, I’ve got more than one.” Leo smirked at him and opened the door wider.
Josh hesitated once he was inside Leo’s room. This was going to be hard; almost
harder than talking to Donna. He’d known Leo since he was a child and Josh knew the
things he’d said and done to Leo had been terribly hurtful.
“I need to apologize; for how I’ve been treating you lately.”
Leo just nodded. “You doing okay, kid?”
“Not quite, but I think I’m on the right road now.” Josh told him.
“You talked to Donna?”
“And Stanley too.” Josh added. “I’m really sorry, Leo.”
“That’s alright.” Leo clapped him on the shoulder.
“You just…after all that I said…it’s just alright?”
“You want me to give you a list of my personal screw ups Josh? I don’t know that either
of us has that kind of time.”
“Yeah, but-“
“No buts.” Leo stopped him from going on. “We just start over from here.”
“I do everything in my power to toss you and Donna out of my life and both of you just
smile and forgive me.”
“Maybe it’s because we both love you.” Leo said uncharacteristically. “You’ve had to
endure a lot in your life, but everything you’ve been through made you who you are
today. Look what you’ve done with Matt Santos.” Leo pointed out and Josh’s eyes
misted. “I’m proud of you Josh.”
“I learned it all from you, Leo.” Now it was Leo’s turn to mist up. “You’ve always been the
political mastermind; now you’re running for Vice-President. I’m proud of you too.”
“Okay, we’re done now, got it?” Leo returned to his gruff demeanor.
“No, there’s just one more thing…What are you doing December 20th?”
“Hopefully getting ready to move into my new office. Why?” Leo asked.
“I was hoping you’d be available to be my best man.” Josh asked quickly, unsure of Leo’
s reaction. Leo didn’t make him wait long.
“I’d be honored.” Leo smiled. “Of course if Donna is walking down the aisle and there’s
the two of us standing at the end, she might choose me.”
“She might run, too, but I’ll take my chances. Don’t you have enough to keep you busy
with Annabeth?”
“How much longer are we staying dark, Josh?” Leo abruptly changed the subject and
had Josh grinning.
“The press uncovered Vinick’s letter pushing the San Andreo nuclear facility about an
hour ago; that’s going to keep things hopping for at least another day. I’m thinking we
stay dark tomorrow too, and let this be the story. What do you think?”
“I’d say it sounds like a plan.” Leo agreed. There’s a knock on Leo’s door. “That must
be dinner. Have you eaten yet? Would you like to join us?”
“Yes, with Stanley. Wait a second, join ‘us’? Who is ‘us’?” Josh asked as Leo opened
the door to the room service waiter and Annabeth. Josh smiled. “Never mind. Enjoy your
dinner.”
***********************************
Chapter 23
“Josh wake up!” Donna said urgently.
“So help me God Donna if this isn’t an emergency…”
“I guess it really isn’t. I just thought you’d like to know we’re tied with Vinick nationally.”
Donna whispered. “Go back to sleep.”
“Okay, thanks.” Josh burrowed underneath his pillow again until his brain registered
what Donna had just told him.
“We’re tied…nationally?”
“Uh-huh.” She said gleefully, waving a paper at him that Josh assumed was a print out
of the national poll.
“Unbelievable.” Josh sat up and took the paper from her, scanning it quickly. ”We’re
ahead in South Carolina? Tell me you didn’t make this up, Donna.”
“I didn’t make this up.” Donna beamed at him. In the three days since he’d met with
Stanley, things had gone much smoother between them. He was still having some
trouble sleeping, and seemed to be more anxious than usual, but it was getting
incrementally better.
Josh rolled her over on the bed until he was lying on top of her. “This calls for a
celebration, don’t you think?” He asked as he moved his hands over her body.
“We don’t have time for a ‘celebration’ Joshua. The rest of the team will be here any
second.”
“Why?!” Josh complained while he continued to explore her with his hands and mouth.
“Because, as I mentioned previously, we are tied nationally with Vinick and everyone I
gathering to get new instructions with the campaign manager, which would be you.”
Donna laughed.
“I don’t want to be campaign manager anymore…give it to Lou or Otto or…somebody.”
Josh went back to concentrating on Donna and elicited a moan from her before there
was a tremendous pounding on his door.
”Josh! Josh did you see these numbers?!” Matt Santos called from the hallway. “Open
the damn door!”
“Daddy, don’t swear.” They heard Miranda chastise her father. Reluctantly, Donna got
up and opened the door. She propped it open since she figured Matt and Miranda
would not be the last to come in even though it was very early in the morning still.
Her prediction proved accurate and Leo (with Annabeth) followed by Lou, Bram, and
Edie all gathered, talking excitedly about the new numbers. Josh busied himself making
some coffee while he listened in to the conversations around him. It didn’t take long
before Miranda sidled up beside him.
“Did you have any bad dreams last night?” she whispered.
“Nope. You?” Josh responded. Miranda shook her head ‘no’ and had to jump up to
reach Josh’s hand for a high five. Josh, after clearing it with Helen and Matt, had a
conversation with the young girl a couple days ago and been brutally honest about his
experiences. They’d been checking in with one another ever since.
“Miranda Maria Santos…I’ve been looking all over for you.” Helen told the girl as she
entered Josh and Donna’s rooms.
“We’re celebrating, Mom.”
“Oh, really? What are you celebrating exactly?” Helen tried to stump the girl.
“Josh got us tied in the national poll!” Miranda smiled at her savior and Josh tousled her
hair as he sipped his coffee.
“Josh did that, did he?” Matt asked all insulted.
“Uh-huh.” Miranda confirmed.
“Boy have you got her snowed.” Donna remarked.
“Miranda is an extremely bright and perceptive young woman.” Josh buttered her up
further. “She knows what is what.”
“It’s a sad state of affairs for you that you have moved down to the 8-10 year old
demographic to find groupies.” Lou added.
“Don’t listen to them, Miranda. You and I are going to get your Dad to the White House.
We don’t need the rest of these useless appendages.” Josh sat on the couch and
Miranda parked right next to him.
“Well if any of us useless appendages were inclined to pitch in today, where would you
want our efforts focused?” Leo drawled.
Josh picked up the papers again. “We need to make another swing through the South.
Vinick has lost a lot of support there; we could pick it up if we bump up the media buys
and add a few more stops. Mrs. Santos, are you up to a swing through Southern
Florida?”
“Si.” Helen responded. Her last trip there had been a huge success. She’d made entire
speeches in Spanish, that she had written herself, and had sponsored several voter
registration drives in the State. She exchanged a grin with her husband since she had
been bragging that if he won this election it would all be due to her.
“Leo, we’ll want you in South Carolina and Arkansas. That leaves our nominee free to
hit Texas and California. If we can force Vinick to waste time campaigning in his home
state that will be a win/win for us even if we don’t take their electoral votes in 2 weeks.”
“Where do I go?” Miranda piped up to ask.
Matt hunkered down in front of his daughter and stole a piece of her doughnut. “Who do
you want to go with; Mom or me?”
Miranda chose neither. “Josh.” The man in question merely shrugged.
“The kids got good taste.” He proclaimed.
“Your swelling head is taking up too much oxygen in the room.” Donna told him. “Here,
talk to your mother. That should remedy the situation.” Donna handed him the phone.
“Mom?”
“I have some wedding questions for you Joshua.”
“I’m a little busy with a Presidential election right now, mom. We just tied Vinick in the
national polls.”
“That’s great, honey, but we need to make some decisions about who will be officiating
at the ceremony.”
“I really don’t care, mom. I trust you to make that call.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“That means so much to me Joshua, that you would trust me to make all these personal
decisions for you wedding. And it will mean so much to President Bartlet, too.”
“President Bartlet?”
“Yes, he asked if he could have the honor of officiating at your ceremony, and I told him
that of course I’d have to check with you, but if it’s all up to me, then-“
“Wait a second, wait a second. President Bartlet would not be the ideal choice here. He
tends to go on and on, like, forever, when he has an audience. I was worried about him
proposing a toast. He can absolutely NOT officiate at our wedding. Do you understand?”
“So you do want SOME say in your wedding arrangements?”
“Of course I want some say, I just thought-“
“You just thought you could fob of all the detailed, grunt work on me, Abby, and Donna’s
mother.” His mom nailed him.
“I wouldn’t say ‘fob it off’.” Josh hedged.
“Maybe you wouldn’t, but I would.”
“Mom, I’m-“
“Very busy with a Presidential election, yes, we all know, you’re very important.” His
mom continued. “What you need to remember, or have beaten into your over-inflated
ego, is that long after the next President retires, you will be married to Donna. I know a
lot of the details aren’t important to you; they’re not important to a lot of men, I get that.
However, I guarantee you that if you don’t take SOME interest and be a party to making
this wedding personal for you, you will regret it for the rest of your life.”
“Ah-kay.” Josh took a deep breath. “What do you want me to do?”
“What do you want to do? And don’t you dare give me a political answer.”
“Well…Someone was talking about writing the vows... I think that’s pretty important. I’d
like to do that.”
“Excellent.” His mom agreed. “I’d like you to make a list of guests you want to include.
Since they all have to be vetted, we should be able to cut out quite a few relatives on
our side.” She joked. “You might also want to put some thought into a wedding gift for
Donna.”
“A wedding gift? I have to choose a wedding gift?” Josh exclaimed. “I thought people just
gave us gifts.”
“Yes, they do.” His mom explained patiently. “But you need to give Donna a wedding gift
as well as give gifts to your Best Man and groomsmen.”
“This is more complicated than politics.”
“It certainly can be.” His mom agreed. “Think about those things and get back to me
within the next two days.”
“Mom…”
“Two days or I book President Bartlet for your wedding.” She threatened.
“Got it.” Josh capitulated and hung up into Donna’s smug smile. “Did you know I’m
supposed to get you a wedding gift?”
“We get one another wedding gifts, yes.”
“What am I supposed to get you?”
“Something from the heart…or in your case, you could fake something.”
“Donna!”
“I’m kidding. Don’t stress about it. You have weeks to decide.”
“Me? What about you? You have to get me a gift too.”
“I already got your gift.” She replied smugly.
“Really? What is it?”
“Nice try.” Donna smiled. “Miranda, come help me pick out a tie for Josh. They want him
on MSNBC in 30 minutes for comment on the new poll numbers.” Donna looked
pointedly at Josh. Miranda went happily along with Donna.
“Okay, kiddo, here’s the shirt and jacket he’s going to wear, which tie do you think
should he wear with it?”
Miranda perused the selection carefully; like the fate of her father’s campaign rested on
her choice. Finally, she selected a red striped tie.
“You like that one better than the blue one?” Donna held it up to double check.
“Josh doesn’t like blue ties.” Miranda told her simply. Donna blinked.
“I didn’t know that.” Donna replied. “Why doesn’t Josh like blue ties.”
“Cause of Joanie.” Miranda straightened the jacket on the hanger.
“What do you mean, because of Joanie, Miranda?”
“I didn’t want to wear my purple dress anymore, and Mom was mad because I wouldn’t
wear it, but Josh said I shouldn’t wear it if it made me sad.” It took a moment for Donna
to remember Miranda had been wearing a new purple dress the day of the shooting at
the rally. “He said after his fire, he didn’t have any clothes to wear for Joanie’s funeral
and his Aunt took him shopping and made him get a blue tie. Now, he said, blue ties
always give him that icky feeling just like I get when I see that purple dress.” Miranda
picked up the completed outfit. “I’ll bring this to Josh, okay?”
Donna nodded her approval and waited until Miranda left the room before tossing every
single blue tie she could find into the trash.