Title: What a Shame Part One
Author: Cathy Miller
Timeline: Goes AU during Disaster Relief
LEO
Damn it, Josh! You tried to humiliate Carrick in his own state, which is
bad enough, but you failed to the tune of a party switch. You think it ends
with the Leadership? You can't believe the calls I'm getting from the DNC
membership. State party chairs. No one wants you here. [pause] We're going
to be late for Senior Staff.
Josh tried to walk back to his office without looking like it wasn’t going to be his office
much longer. What the hell ever happened to “as long as I’ve got a job, you’ve got a
job”? Or maybe that’s what this was and Leo was only keeping him under obligation?
Damn it, Leo approved the plan! It wasn’t like he went off half cocked and didn’t talk
to Leo and get approval first. It was so unfair. So he made a mistake. Why is it his
screw ups are always treated differently than anyone else’s? Didn’t Sam screw up
with the video tape during re-election? Didn’t Toby single handedly do the same
thing during that disastrous leadership breakfast? He couldn’t think of a CJ screw up
off hand right now but…wait! What about the time she told the White House Press
Corps that the President was under no legal obligation to choose a Democrat and a
Republican for the FEC when he actually was?
Josh’s walk turned into an angry march by the time he got back to his office. His door
was slammed shut so hard it made Donna jump at her desk. She did a little
investigative work and found out from C.J. what happened before senior staff. C.J.
noted that they were all stunned by Leo’s decision but Toby tried to talk about it with
Leo at one point and Leo bit his head off.
Cautiously, Donna raised her hand and knocked on the door. He barked out a
‘what?’ which she took as permission to enter.
“You need anything?” She asked walking inside.
“On my home machine I have 52 "Hang in There" messages; one from a headhunter
wanting to know if I'm interested in moving into the private sector.” He admitted and
finally looked up into her blue eyes. She had such beautiful blue eyes.
Donna set a filebox down on Josh's desk.
“Are you?” She asked with her head cocked to the side in question.
“What's that?” Josh indicated the file box with nod of his head. The fact that he
completely ignored the question was not lost on either of them, but Donna wasn’t
going to push; not here and now anyway.
“It's my "What a Shame" folder. All the stuff we never have time for. The stuff
we thought we'd fix when we got here, but we never did.” Josh looked at her closely
while she read off the tabs in the files. Her face was alight with excitement over each
item she named. When had he lost that feeling? When had this become just a fight
with Republicans…and a few Democrats? When had his soul gotten sucked out of
his body?
“Foreign adoption policy. Hybrid energy partnerships. Extending the roadless
conservation plan.” She continued. Foreign adoption policy? Oh, yeah, that one had
come up when they were on the campaign bus to St. Louis. She had read some
factoid about the number of hoops that American couples had to jump through, from
their own Government, to try to adopt a foreign child. She had become so livid about
it he had promised to do something to fix it when they reached the White House. The
truth was when he saw how upset it made her he would have promised her anything
to make it stop; to make her feel better. She was the inspiration behind a lot of what
he‘d done here.
“Okay, this one's not a shame, I just didn't want to deal with it. Funding
special education for kids with disabilities.” That came from a mother she’d talked to
in Richmond who had been moved by Governor Bartlet’s speech on Education.
Donna had spent over an hour with her and would have missed the campaign bus if
he hadn’t come and dragged her away. Donna felt everything. She was amazing. She
took these charged issues and brought them down to a level where he could do
something with them; make policy changes or influence the President. He wondered if
she knew how lucky he felt to have her in his life, and not just as an assistant.
“Ammunition control. What's a gun without bullets?” She asked and met Josh’s eyes
for the first time in her little diatribe. She must have seen some of his thoughts on his
face because she gave him a quizzical look. “What?”
“We should have addressed ammunition before Rosslyn really.” He pointed out and
she blinked in surprise.
“That would have been good.” She agreed smirking.
“You know…” He said standing up and leafing through her file box. “I have a what a
shame file too.”
“You do not.” Donna countered immediately.
“I do too.” He argued.
“I know every inch of this office and you have no ‘what a shame’ file tucked away
anywhere here.” Donna stated with her arms crossed in front of her chest.
“Who said it was in the office?” Josh asked with his eyebrows raised.
“Hmmm…” Donna ran her tongue around her teeth considering what he had said.
“And just what is in this ‘what a shame file’ of yours?”
“I’d tell you, Donnatella, but I get the feeling you were mocking me right there.” Josh
tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.
“There was no mocking.” Donna explained and felt her skin heat from the unexpected
tender touch and the look in his eyes. “I just asked a simple question. What is in your
‘what a shame’ file?”
“There’s a lot in it, Donna.” Josh lifted his other hand to run it through her hair.
“Josh….” Donna’s voice held a warning. It was true that they were in his office with
the door closed but they were in his OFFICE with the DOOR CLOSED.
“This would be the top item though.” Josh told her and met her lips with his. It wasn’t
a hesitant, cautious, first kiss. It was an intense kiss full of passion and emotion.
Donna’s legs felt shaky but that didn’t stop her from winding her arms around his
neck and kissing him back with equal fervor.
Suddenly, his intercom buzzed and they both jumped. Donna’s shaking hand hit the
intercom button and answered. “Josh Lyman’s office.”
“Donna?” Margaret’s voice came through the speaker. “Is Josh out of the office?”
“He’s right here, do you need him?”
“Leo wanted me to ask him to be sure to give Toby the budget stuff.” Donna threw a
surprised look at Josh. They were taking him off budget? What the hell?
“I’ll take it over to Toby myself.” Donna offered.
“Thanks, Donna.” Margaret clicked off.
“You’re off the budget?” Donna asked.
“Leo’s giving it to Angela Blake.”
“The fundraiser? That Angela Blake?” Donna confirmed. “What else aren’t you telling
me?”
“You know everything that I know. In fact, you probably know more than I do at this
point. At least Leo trusts you.” Josh noted. “I’m going over to the Hill.” He announced
and Donna knew it was a lie. The Hill would be the last place he’d want to show his
face. Word of the budget negotiations would be spreading like wildfire there.
“Josh, wait.” Donna pled with him.
“You’d better get that stuff over to Toby.” He advised her and left without another
word.
He felt a bit of a guilty pang when he ordered his first scotch at 11:00 in the morning.
He had no meetings, no portfolio to work on, and nobody would be calling him on
anything of substance, so he thought he’d just go ahead and drink a little. When the
bartender cut him off, damn dram shop law, he took a cab home and continued his
drinking there without interference. His phone rang several times, but he ignored it.
He’d left his pager and cell phone at work so he had no compunction about letting his
home phone go unanswered.
Around 4, he was awakened from his drunken stupor by a loud pounding on his front
door, followed by shouting.
“Josh? Open the door!” It was Donna, of course. She shouldn’t be within a city mile of
him. She’d go away eventually, right? “Open the door or I’m going to use my key,
Joshua!”
Shit. He’d forgotten about the key. Damn it now she was sure to come in. On the
bright side, that meant he didn’t have to get up and open either. That made him
laugh. He was still laughing when she opened the door and spotted him sitting
against the couch on the floor.
“Josh? Are you okay?” She asked with fear on her face and in her voice. That’s
wasn’t right. He hadn’t wanted to scare Donna. He just wanted to get away from that
place and forget about the downward spiral his life was in at the moment.
“I’m just…a drunk little.” He held up his thumb and forefinger about an inch apart
from each other. Then laughed again. “I meant, a little drunk.” He laughed again and
she rolled her eyes at him.
“Don’t be mad, Donna. Please?” He begged.
She sat down next to him heavily. “I was worried, Josh. You could’ve at least told me
where you were so I wouldn’t call all the local hospitals looking for you.”
“You called the hospitals? You are so nice, Donna. You’re too nice to work in D.C. I
should’ve sent you back to Wisconsin when you first showed up in Nashua.” Josh
sighed.
Now it was Donna’s turn to laugh. “You never had that kind of control over me,
Lyman. Besides, you needed me.”
“I did. I really did.” Josh agreed nodding. “Now I’m being cut loose and you’re too
close to me. You should talk to Toby or C.J. You’d be good in communications. If they
grant me a last request, I’ll request you get sent to C.J.’s office.”
“Josh, you aren’t being fired.” Donna reasoned.
“If I wasn’t before, I will be now.” And that was hysterically funny to Joshua. Donna
rolled her eyes again.
“I told Leo you went home sick.” Donna explained.
“But I’m not sick.” Josh replied.
“Not now, but I imagine later you will be.” Donna drawled. “Tell you what. I’m going to
make you some coffee.”
“Shit. I must be really screwed if you’re getting me coffee.”
“I’m only saying this now, because I’m relatively sure you’re never going to remember
a word of it.” Donna told him. “I’d get you coffee everyday, I just prefer to argue about
it with you. It’s more fun.” Then she went to make him some coffee and whip up some
comfort food. She stayed with him until she was sure he was sobering up, and
poured out the rest of the Scotch. She went home with a heavy heart, not sure how
she could or should help him. All the joy she’d felt when he’d kissed her had
vanished. She was sure it was more about his situation than his feelings for her.
Those thoughts seemed to be confirmed the following day.
“Josh, you know they've also asked me to go with the files, a sort of living index
if you will for Angela Blake?” Donna pressed as soon as she heard about this new
‘plan’ for dealing with the budget negotiations. When Leo had first requested that she
go with Angela she had refused point blank. There was no way in hell she’d betray
Josh too. Then Leo had patiently explained that Josh had approved it. She had
threatened to ask him and Leo had insisted that she go ahead. She slammed Leo’s
door not sure if she was angrier at Leo for asking her to do this or at Josh for
okaying it.
“We can call her Angela now.” Josh smirked.
“You authorized that too?” Donna confirmed, her heart breaking in two.
“Sure. Did we ever get specifics for...?” Josh trailed off unable to meet her eyes.
“On the trade bill? Right here.” She snapped the folder into his hand. Then Josh
made the mistake of looking at her and saw the hurt in her eyes. She really was
something, and he was truly going to miss her.
“Thanks.” He said sincerely. “I’m taking a personal day tomorrow, so…you’ll be able
to concentrate on budget without worrying about trying to keep me on task.”
“Josh?” She stopped his exit with only his name.
“Yeah?”
“Where are you going tomorrow?” She asked quietly.
“I…haven’t decided yet.” It’s not exactly a lie, he decided. He had a couple calls to
return and hadn’t decided who to interview with yet. She looked like she had more to
say, but at the last moment, simply nodded her head and left his office.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><<><><><><><><>
Josh walked back into the White House after 24 hours away feeling like he’d been
gone a month. Budget talks had deteriorated and all hell was breaking loose on the
hill, but since nobody consulted with him or asked his opinion he stayed far from the
action. A move that was neither unnoticed or appreciated by Donna.
“Would you please go over there and…do something!” She insisted.
Josh nearly laughed out loud. “What would you suggest I do?”
“I don’t know! What you usually do in situations like this, I guess. Listen to the details
of the problem and figure out some crazy assed solution only you can come up with.”
“You’ve been reading too much of my press.” Josh chuckled. “If Leo wanted my
advice or my opinion he’d have called me.”
“You don’t have to wait for an engraved invitation.”
“No, but I’m going to wait for SOME kind of invitation.” Josh noted.
“Why? You never needed one before.”
“That was before Leo told me that nobody wanted me here.” Josh bit out.
“What?!” Donna gasped. “He did NOT.”
Josh immediately regretted his outburst. “It’s not a big deal, Donna.”
“The hell it’s not.” She differed.
“At least he told me to my face. Everyone else seems to prefer the knife in the back
routine.”
Ryan knocked on the door. “Leadership is here. They want you in the Roosevelt
room.”
Josh blinked and started to rise.
“No, sorry, I meant Donna.” Ryan clarified and Josh sat back down. Donna gave him
a stricken look and hesitated to leave.
“Go.” Josh nodded to the door. “They need you in there.”
After one more pained look for Josh, Donna hurried to the Roosevelt room.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Shut down. The President shut the Government down and nobody had figured out
how to get it re-started again. If only Josh would get out of his pity party and do
something, Donna thought as she walked back through the White House gates. No,
technically she wasn’t supposed to be here, but someone had to talk some sense
into Joshua.
She was marching so determinedly through the front door that she didn’t even notice
the First Lady coming up behind her until Abby was beside her matching her stride
for stride.
“Donna? I didn’t think you were supposed to be here.”
“Ma’am!” Donna stopped abruptly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even see you.”
“That’s alright. I was saying I didn’t think you were supposed to be here.”
“Oh, I’m not here to work…exactly. I just need to…” Donna didn’t know how to
complete her sentence, so she didn’t. “I’m surprised to see you here, ma’am.”
“What have our guys been up to around here, Donna, shutting down the
Government?”
“It wasn’t ‘our guy’s’, ma’am.” Donna muttered.
“Donna?”
“I’m sorry, ma’am that was rude. I just…” Again, Donna was at a loss for words which
was enough of a rarity to alarm Abby.
“Why don’t you sit down a minute and catch me up?” The First Lady suggested.
Knowing no way out of it, Donna did as Abby requested, sat down, and filled her in.
Abby didn’t say a word all through Donna’s recitation of events, just nodded
occasionally. When Donna concluded, the First Lady thanked Donna for her time
and promised she would get things moving again. Donna thought it was a good time
to give her guy a kick in the pants as well.
Josh was holed up in his office, jacket off and sleeves rolled up, pretending to read
some report or another. Donna watched him quietly for a minute before he sensed
her there.
“You can’t be here, Donna.”
“You SHOULDN’T be here Josh.” She countered.
Josh looked at her in amusement. “And just where SHOULD I be, Donnatella?”
“In the war room.”
“Nobody wants me there.”
“I want you there.” Donna argued. “Otherwise, I have a feeling that I’ll never be
getting back to work.”
“Donna…I can’t; not like this.” Josh told her.
“Which job offer are you taking?” She asked and he bobbled the cup of coffee he
was drinking from. “Do you think I haven’t noticed the surreptitious phone calls? The
Personal Day?”
“I have personal days coming to me.” Josh noted.
“Yes, but you never take them.” Donna replied. “I guess I’m just disappointed that
you didn’t talk to me about it; any of it.”
“Another file for your ‘what a shame’ box?” Josh asked.
“I guess that depends on what you do from here.” Donna stated.
“I can’t stay here like this, Donna. This is worse than being fired. They just put me in
my ‘room’ and leave me alone while the Government literally shuts down.” Josh hit
the desk with the palm of his hand in frustration. Donna moved around the desk and
rubbed his shoulders.
“That’s why they need you right now. The President needs you.” Donna reiterated.
“You can’t walk away now, like this. Your conscience won’t allow it.”
“I’m pretty sure it will.” Josh laughed humorlessly.
“Maybe at first, but then the guilt and the remorse would set in. It would be awful.”
Donna decided.
“You think?” Josh looked over his shoulder at her.
“I do.” Donna nodded. “Know what else?”
“What?” Josh asked smirking.
“So do you.” She said simply.
“How do you figure?”
“If it was just about your ego, you would have left when Carrick blew up in your face.”
Donna explained. “And can I just remind you who signed off on that move?”
“You think I’ve forgotten?” Josh scoffed.
“Yes, I do. You’re so busy taking on all the responsibility for the failure that you
haven’t even noticed that someone else left you hanging out to dry; and that’s simply
wrong.”
“I’m confused. Before it sounded like you were advising me not to quit and now it
sounds like you are.” Josh turned around in his chair to fully face her.
“I’m saying I wouldn’t blame you if you did. Leo was wrong to punish you for a move
you cleared with him first. However, I think you’d hate yourself for it later. Am I making
sense to you now?”
“Hardly ever.” Josh laughed and Donna swatted him with the nearest envelope. “Hey!
I thought you were here to cheer me up not beat me up!”
“Actually, I’m here to cheer you on.” Donna corrected him. “Go, Josh. Help the
President fix this so I can come back to you and this crappy job.” Her choice of words,
however innocent they may have been uttered, hit Josh with the force of a brick. He
stood up slowly and took her hands in his.
“I couldn’t do it without you. I wouldn’t want to do it without you.” Donna got lost in the
intensity of his eyes, so she didn’t notice when Leo came to stand in the doorway.
Apparently neither did Josh because they both jolted when Leo called his name.
Leo raised his eyebrows at the position his Deputy seemed to be in with his assistant.
An assistant who wasn’t supposed to be in the building.
“The President wants you in the war room.” He announced and without another word,
he turned on his heel and walked away.
Josh looked torn between following up on his much awaited invitation and following
up on what he was saying to Donna.
“I might have to add this to the ‘what a shame’ file.”
“Go.” Donna encouraged him. “I’ve got to check on the Social Security checks.”
“That’s an entitlement. It wouldn’t be affected by the shutdown.”
“No, except the people who cut the checks were sent home. I’m going down to the
counsel’s office to see if they can get the GAO to issue a ruling to bring them back.”
“No checks?”
“Not if we can’t get those people back in.”
“Talk to Ainsley Hayes.” Josh advised her. “She’ll help you get it straightened out.
Page me if you need me.” He called back to her as he hurried to the war room.
Part Two
Author: Cathy Miller
Timeline: Goes AU during Disaster Relief
LEO
Damn it, Josh! You tried to humiliate Carrick in his own state, which is
bad enough, but you failed to the tune of a party switch. You think it ends
with the Leadership? You can't believe the calls I'm getting from the DNC
membership. State party chairs. No one wants you here. [pause] We're going
to be late for Senior Staff.
Josh tried to walk back to his office without looking like it wasn’t going to be his office
much longer. What the hell ever happened to “as long as I’ve got a job, you’ve got a
job”? Or maybe that’s what this was and Leo was only keeping him under obligation?
Damn it, Leo approved the plan! It wasn’t like he went off half cocked and didn’t talk
to Leo and get approval first. It was so unfair. So he made a mistake. Why is it his
screw ups are always treated differently than anyone else’s? Didn’t Sam screw up
with the video tape during re-election? Didn’t Toby single handedly do the same
thing during that disastrous leadership breakfast? He couldn’t think of a CJ screw up
off hand right now but…wait! What about the time she told the White House Press
Corps that the President was under no legal obligation to choose a Democrat and a
Republican for the FEC when he actually was?
Josh’s walk turned into an angry march by the time he got back to his office. His door
was slammed shut so hard it made Donna jump at her desk. She did a little
investigative work and found out from C.J. what happened before senior staff. C.J.
noted that they were all stunned by Leo’s decision but Toby tried to talk about it with
Leo at one point and Leo bit his head off.
Cautiously, Donna raised her hand and knocked on the door. He barked out a
‘what?’ which she took as permission to enter.
“You need anything?” She asked walking inside.
“On my home machine I have 52 "Hang in There" messages; one from a headhunter
wanting to know if I'm interested in moving into the private sector.” He admitted and
finally looked up into her blue eyes. She had such beautiful blue eyes.
Donna set a filebox down on Josh's desk.
“Are you?” She asked with her head cocked to the side in question.
“What's that?” Josh indicated the file box with nod of his head. The fact that he
completely ignored the question was not lost on either of them, but Donna wasn’t
going to push; not here and now anyway.
“It's my "What a Shame" folder. All the stuff we never have time for. The stuff
we thought we'd fix when we got here, but we never did.” Josh looked at her closely
while she read off the tabs in the files. Her face was alight with excitement over each
item she named. When had he lost that feeling? When had this become just a fight
with Republicans…and a few Democrats? When had his soul gotten sucked out of
his body?
“Foreign adoption policy. Hybrid energy partnerships. Extending the roadless
conservation plan.” She continued. Foreign adoption policy? Oh, yeah, that one had
come up when they were on the campaign bus to St. Louis. She had read some
factoid about the number of hoops that American couples had to jump through, from
their own Government, to try to adopt a foreign child. She had become so livid about
it he had promised to do something to fix it when they reached the White House. The
truth was when he saw how upset it made her he would have promised her anything
to make it stop; to make her feel better. She was the inspiration behind a lot of what
he‘d done here.
“Okay, this one's not a shame, I just didn't want to deal with it. Funding
special education for kids with disabilities.” That came from a mother she’d talked to
in Richmond who had been moved by Governor Bartlet’s speech on Education.
Donna had spent over an hour with her and would have missed the campaign bus if
he hadn’t come and dragged her away. Donna felt everything. She was amazing. She
took these charged issues and brought them down to a level where he could do
something with them; make policy changes or influence the President. He wondered if
she knew how lucky he felt to have her in his life, and not just as an assistant.
“Ammunition control. What's a gun without bullets?” She asked and met Josh’s eyes
for the first time in her little diatribe. She must have seen some of his thoughts on his
face because she gave him a quizzical look. “What?”
“We should have addressed ammunition before Rosslyn really.” He pointed out and
she blinked in surprise.
“That would have been good.” She agreed smirking.
“You know…” He said standing up and leafing through her file box. “I have a what a
shame file too.”
“You do not.” Donna countered immediately.
“I do too.” He argued.
“I know every inch of this office and you have no ‘what a shame’ file tucked away
anywhere here.” Donna stated with her arms crossed in front of her chest.
“Who said it was in the office?” Josh asked with his eyebrows raised.
“Hmmm…” Donna ran her tongue around her teeth considering what he had said.
“And just what is in this ‘what a shame file’ of yours?”
“I’d tell you, Donnatella, but I get the feeling you were mocking me right there.” Josh
tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.
“There was no mocking.” Donna explained and felt her skin heat from the unexpected
tender touch and the look in his eyes. “I just asked a simple question. What is in your
‘what a shame’ file?”
“There’s a lot in it, Donna.” Josh lifted his other hand to run it through her hair.
“Josh….” Donna’s voice held a warning. It was true that they were in his office with
the door closed but they were in his OFFICE with the DOOR CLOSED.
“This would be the top item though.” Josh told her and met her lips with his. It wasn’t
a hesitant, cautious, first kiss. It was an intense kiss full of passion and emotion.
Donna’s legs felt shaky but that didn’t stop her from winding her arms around his
neck and kissing him back with equal fervor.
Suddenly, his intercom buzzed and they both jumped. Donna’s shaking hand hit the
intercom button and answered. “Josh Lyman’s office.”
“Donna?” Margaret’s voice came through the speaker. “Is Josh out of the office?”
“He’s right here, do you need him?”
“Leo wanted me to ask him to be sure to give Toby the budget stuff.” Donna threw a
surprised look at Josh. They were taking him off budget? What the hell?
“I’ll take it over to Toby myself.” Donna offered.
“Thanks, Donna.” Margaret clicked off.
“You’re off the budget?” Donna asked.
“Leo’s giving it to Angela Blake.”
“The fundraiser? That Angela Blake?” Donna confirmed. “What else aren’t you telling
me?”
“You know everything that I know. In fact, you probably know more than I do at this
point. At least Leo trusts you.” Josh noted. “I’m going over to the Hill.” He announced
and Donna knew it was a lie. The Hill would be the last place he’d want to show his
face. Word of the budget negotiations would be spreading like wildfire there.
“Josh, wait.” Donna pled with him.
“You’d better get that stuff over to Toby.” He advised her and left without another
word.
He felt a bit of a guilty pang when he ordered his first scotch at 11:00 in the morning.
He had no meetings, no portfolio to work on, and nobody would be calling him on
anything of substance, so he thought he’d just go ahead and drink a little. When the
bartender cut him off, damn dram shop law, he took a cab home and continued his
drinking there without interference. His phone rang several times, but he ignored it.
He’d left his pager and cell phone at work so he had no compunction about letting his
home phone go unanswered.
Around 4, he was awakened from his drunken stupor by a loud pounding on his front
door, followed by shouting.
“Josh? Open the door!” It was Donna, of course. She shouldn’t be within a city mile of
him. She’d go away eventually, right? “Open the door or I’m going to use my key,
Joshua!”
Shit. He’d forgotten about the key. Damn it now she was sure to come in. On the
bright side, that meant he didn’t have to get up and open either. That made him
laugh. He was still laughing when she opened the door and spotted him sitting
against the couch on the floor.
“Josh? Are you okay?” She asked with fear on her face and in her voice. That’s
wasn’t right. He hadn’t wanted to scare Donna. He just wanted to get away from that
place and forget about the downward spiral his life was in at the moment.
“I’m just…a drunk little.” He held up his thumb and forefinger about an inch apart
from each other. Then laughed again. “I meant, a little drunk.” He laughed again and
she rolled her eyes at him.
“Don’t be mad, Donna. Please?” He begged.
She sat down next to him heavily. “I was worried, Josh. You could’ve at least told me
where you were so I wouldn’t call all the local hospitals looking for you.”
“You called the hospitals? You are so nice, Donna. You’re too nice to work in D.C. I
should’ve sent you back to Wisconsin when you first showed up in Nashua.” Josh
sighed.
Now it was Donna’s turn to laugh. “You never had that kind of control over me,
Lyman. Besides, you needed me.”
“I did. I really did.” Josh agreed nodding. “Now I’m being cut loose and you’re too
close to me. You should talk to Toby or C.J. You’d be good in communications. If they
grant me a last request, I’ll request you get sent to C.J.’s office.”
“Josh, you aren’t being fired.” Donna reasoned.
“If I wasn’t before, I will be now.” And that was hysterically funny to Joshua. Donna
rolled her eyes again.
“I told Leo you went home sick.” Donna explained.
“But I’m not sick.” Josh replied.
“Not now, but I imagine later you will be.” Donna drawled. “Tell you what. I’m going to
make you some coffee.”
“Shit. I must be really screwed if you’re getting me coffee.”
“I’m only saying this now, because I’m relatively sure you’re never going to remember
a word of it.” Donna told him. “I’d get you coffee everyday, I just prefer to argue about
it with you. It’s more fun.” Then she went to make him some coffee and whip up some
comfort food. She stayed with him until she was sure he was sobering up, and
poured out the rest of the Scotch. She went home with a heavy heart, not sure how
she could or should help him. All the joy she’d felt when he’d kissed her had
vanished. She was sure it was more about his situation than his feelings for her.
Those thoughts seemed to be confirmed the following day.
“Josh, you know they've also asked me to go with the files, a sort of living index
if you will for Angela Blake?” Donna pressed as soon as she heard about this new
‘plan’ for dealing with the budget negotiations. When Leo had first requested that she
go with Angela she had refused point blank. There was no way in hell she’d betray
Josh too. Then Leo had patiently explained that Josh had approved it. She had
threatened to ask him and Leo had insisted that she go ahead. She slammed Leo’s
door not sure if she was angrier at Leo for asking her to do this or at Josh for
okaying it.
“We can call her Angela now.” Josh smirked.
“You authorized that too?” Donna confirmed, her heart breaking in two.
“Sure. Did we ever get specifics for...?” Josh trailed off unable to meet her eyes.
“On the trade bill? Right here.” She snapped the folder into his hand. Then Josh
made the mistake of looking at her and saw the hurt in her eyes. She really was
something, and he was truly going to miss her.
“Thanks.” He said sincerely. “I’m taking a personal day tomorrow, so…you’ll be able
to concentrate on budget without worrying about trying to keep me on task.”
“Josh?” She stopped his exit with only his name.
“Yeah?”
“Where are you going tomorrow?” She asked quietly.
“I…haven’t decided yet.” It’s not exactly a lie, he decided. He had a couple calls to
return and hadn’t decided who to interview with yet. She looked like she had more to
say, but at the last moment, simply nodded her head and left his office.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><<><><><><><><>
Josh walked back into the White House after 24 hours away feeling like he’d been
gone a month. Budget talks had deteriorated and all hell was breaking loose on the
hill, but since nobody consulted with him or asked his opinion he stayed far from the
action. A move that was neither unnoticed or appreciated by Donna.
“Would you please go over there and…do something!” She insisted.
Josh nearly laughed out loud. “What would you suggest I do?”
“I don’t know! What you usually do in situations like this, I guess. Listen to the details
of the problem and figure out some crazy assed solution only you can come up with.”
“You’ve been reading too much of my press.” Josh chuckled. “If Leo wanted my
advice or my opinion he’d have called me.”
“You don’t have to wait for an engraved invitation.”
“No, but I’m going to wait for SOME kind of invitation.” Josh noted.
“Why? You never needed one before.”
“That was before Leo told me that nobody wanted me here.” Josh bit out.
“What?!” Donna gasped. “He did NOT.”
Josh immediately regretted his outburst. “It’s not a big deal, Donna.”
“The hell it’s not.” She differed.
“At least he told me to my face. Everyone else seems to prefer the knife in the back
routine.”
Ryan knocked on the door. “Leadership is here. They want you in the Roosevelt
room.”
Josh blinked and started to rise.
“No, sorry, I meant Donna.” Ryan clarified and Josh sat back down. Donna gave him
a stricken look and hesitated to leave.
“Go.” Josh nodded to the door. “They need you in there.”
After one more pained look for Josh, Donna hurried to the Roosevelt room.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Shut down. The President shut the Government down and nobody had figured out
how to get it re-started again. If only Josh would get out of his pity party and do
something, Donna thought as she walked back through the White House gates. No,
technically she wasn’t supposed to be here, but someone had to talk some sense
into Joshua.
She was marching so determinedly through the front door that she didn’t even notice
the First Lady coming up behind her until Abby was beside her matching her stride
for stride.
“Donna? I didn’t think you were supposed to be here.”
“Ma’am!” Donna stopped abruptly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even see you.”
“That’s alright. I was saying I didn’t think you were supposed to be here.”
“Oh, I’m not here to work…exactly. I just need to…” Donna didn’t know how to
complete her sentence, so she didn’t. “I’m surprised to see you here, ma’am.”
“What have our guys been up to around here, Donna, shutting down the
Government?”
“It wasn’t ‘our guy’s’, ma’am.” Donna muttered.
“Donna?”
“I’m sorry, ma’am that was rude. I just…” Again, Donna was at a loss for words which
was enough of a rarity to alarm Abby.
“Why don’t you sit down a minute and catch me up?” The First Lady suggested.
Knowing no way out of it, Donna did as Abby requested, sat down, and filled her in.
Abby didn’t say a word all through Donna’s recitation of events, just nodded
occasionally. When Donna concluded, the First Lady thanked Donna for her time
and promised she would get things moving again. Donna thought it was a good time
to give her guy a kick in the pants as well.
Josh was holed up in his office, jacket off and sleeves rolled up, pretending to read
some report or another. Donna watched him quietly for a minute before he sensed
her there.
“You can’t be here, Donna.”
“You SHOULDN’T be here Josh.” She countered.
Josh looked at her in amusement. “And just where SHOULD I be, Donnatella?”
“In the war room.”
“Nobody wants me there.”
“I want you there.” Donna argued. “Otherwise, I have a feeling that I’ll never be
getting back to work.”
“Donna…I can’t; not like this.” Josh told her.
“Which job offer are you taking?” She asked and he bobbled the cup of coffee he
was drinking from. “Do you think I haven’t noticed the surreptitious phone calls? The
Personal Day?”
“I have personal days coming to me.” Josh noted.
“Yes, but you never take them.” Donna replied. “I guess I’m just disappointed that
you didn’t talk to me about it; any of it.”
“Another file for your ‘what a shame’ box?” Josh asked.
“I guess that depends on what you do from here.” Donna stated.
“I can’t stay here like this, Donna. This is worse than being fired. They just put me in
my ‘room’ and leave me alone while the Government literally shuts down.” Josh hit
the desk with the palm of his hand in frustration. Donna moved around the desk and
rubbed his shoulders.
“That’s why they need you right now. The President needs you.” Donna reiterated.
“You can’t walk away now, like this. Your conscience won’t allow it.”
“I’m pretty sure it will.” Josh laughed humorlessly.
“Maybe at first, but then the guilt and the remorse would set in. It would be awful.”
Donna decided.
“You think?” Josh looked over his shoulder at her.
“I do.” Donna nodded. “Know what else?”
“What?” Josh asked smirking.
“So do you.” She said simply.
“How do you figure?”
“If it was just about your ego, you would have left when Carrick blew up in your face.”
Donna explained. “And can I just remind you who signed off on that move?”
“You think I’ve forgotten?” Josh scoffed.
“Yes, I do. You’re so busy taking on all the responsibility for the failure that you
haven’t even noticed that someone else left you hanging out to dry; and that’s simply
wrong.”
“I’m confused. Before it sounded like you were advising me not to quit and now it
sounds like you are.” Josh turned around in his chair to fully face her.
“I’m saying I wouldn’t blame you if you did. Leo was wrong to punish you for a move
you cleared with him first. However, I think you’d hate yourself for it later. Am I making
sense to you now?”
“Hardly ever.” Josh laughed and Donna swatted him with the nearest envelope. “Hey!
I thought you were here to cheer me up not beat me up!”
“Actually, I’m here to cheer you on.” Donna corrected him. “Go, Josh. Help the
President fix this so I can come back to you and this crappy job.” Her choice of words,
however innocent they may have been uttered, hit Josh with the force of a brick. He
stood up slowly and took her hands in his.
“I couldn’t do it without you. I wouldn’t want to do it without you.” Donna got lost in the
intensity of his eyes, so she didn’t notice when Leo came to stand in the doorway.
Apparently neither did Josh because they both jolted when Leo called his name.
Leo raised his eyebrows at the position his Deputy seemed to be in with his assistant.
An assistant who wasn’t supposed to be in the building.
“The President wants you in the war room.” He announced and without another word,
he turned on his heel and walked away.
Josh looked torn between following up on his much awaited invitation and following
up on what he was saying to Donna.
“I might have to add this to the ‘what a shame’ file.”
“Go.” Donna encouraged him. “I’ve got to check on the Social Security checks.”
“That’s an entitlement. It wouldn’t be affected by the shutdown.”
“No, except the people who cut the checks were sent home. I’m going down to the
counsel’s office to see if they can get the GAO to issue a ruling to bring them back.”
“No checks?”
“Not if we can’t get those people back in.”
“Talk to Ainsley Hayes.” Josh advised her. “She’ll help you get it straightened out.
Page me if you need me.” He called back to her as he hurried to the war room.
Part Two
