Title: What’s Next?
Author: Cathy (www.cathyswestwing.com)
Timeline: In the Shadow of Two Gunmen (goes AU)
Chapter 1
“I couldn’t hear you. What did you say, Josh?” Leo asked.
“He said, ‘what’s next’.” Donna smiled in relief. True, he wasn’t out of the woods yet, but he was awake
and talking; and she wasn’t going to understate the importance of those two things.
“Alright, son.” Leo patted his hand. “You’re going to be alright. Try and rest now.”
“Donna?” Josh croaked.
“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Donna promised. “Go back to sleep now.”
The pair hovering at his bedside waited until his eyes closed and his breathing grew a little deeper
before they spoke another word.
“Sarah will be here any minute.” Leo warned.
“She won’t tell him. We’ll keep the TV off and limit his visitors. How hard could that be?”
“Not hard at first, but once he’s awake for more than a couple minutes at a time…”
“That won’t be for awhile. Maybe even a day or two.” Donna conjectured.
“Donna…” Leo began.
“No. I’m not telling him now and neither is anyone else; not until he’s better.” Donna whispered urgently
with fire in her eyes. Leo backed off, trusting her to do what she thought was best for Josh. Lord knew
the young woman seemed to understand Josh better than anyone else. Leo nodded his agreement and
saw Donna practically slump in relief. In a moment when both their guards were down, Leo pulled Donna
close to his side and squeezed.
“We’ll get through this, kid.”
“I hope so.” Donna murmured.
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“Right this way, ma’am.” The Secret Service directed Sarah Lyman through the massive security and
directly to her son’s ICU room. Sarah was stopped only briefly to be put through the decontamination
routine required before admittance into the ICU. She washed thoroughly and followed the nurse to her
son’s side. Donna was sound asleep on the other side of the bed and the sight made Sarah’s heart
warm. Sarah wondered if the young woman had any idea how much her feelings about Josh showed in
the way her hand was clasped with his.
“Oh, Joshua, thank God you’re still here.” Sarah knew Josh had passed a major hurdle getting through
surgery but she had no illusions that he was out of the woods yet. She stroked his face gently with her
fingers and called his name again. His eyes fluttered open briefly.
“Mom?” He asked hoarsely.
“I’m here, darling. You gave us all quite a scare.” She relayed.
“Sorry.” He muttered and after a brief look of panic, saw that Donna was asleep next to him. “She should
go home.
“Good luck with that.” Sarah chuckled. “Go back to sleep now. I just wanted to see your eyes and hear
your voice.” Her son immediately obeyed her and that unusual occurrence told her just how sick he
really was. She moved to the other side of the bed and gently shook Donna who popped up like a jack in
the box.
“Josh!” She said in her confusion.
“He’s fine.” Sarah hastened to assure her. “You need to go home and get some rest, honey.”
“Oh, Sarah!” Donna fell into the older woman’s arms and sobbed.
“You’ve had quite the ordeal haven’t you? I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you stayed with our
Joshua.”
“How could I leave him?” Donna wondered aloud.
“YOU couldn’t of course, but plenty of others could and would.” Sarah told her. “He’s very lucky to have
you in his life, Donna.”
“I just want him to get better now.” Both women looked over at Josh’s sleeping form. “The doctor’s said
you could page them when you got here so they can give you updates, but I took notes for you from the
last time they came through.” Donna explained.
“I’m sure you did.” Sarah smiled. “But honey, you should go home and sleep for awhile. I’m here now, so
he won’t be alone.”
“I know, but…” Donna hesitated.
“At the very least, why don’t you lay down on the reclining chair, if I can’t convince you to take a break at
home?”
“I could go home for a bit; take a shower and get something decent to eat. I could bring something back
for you?”
“That would be very nice, as long as you take a nap before you come back.” Sarah insisted.
“But that would take-“
“Donna, do you know what kind of guilt I would suffer if you had an accident driving while you are so
tired from taking care of my son?”
“Oh…okay…but you’ll call me if there’s any change? Any change at all?”
“I promise.” Sarah crossed her heart and watched while Donna gathered her things in her purse.
“Here’s the doctor’s pager number, some magazines from last year to read…” Donna trailed off. “Oh,
and don’t bring a newspaper in or let anyone turn on the TV in here. We haven’t told him yet.”
“Donna…” Sarah chastised her gently. “You haven’t told him? He needs to know. It will be the first thing
he asks about when he’s coherent.”
“That could be awhile.” Donna argued. “Right now he has to concentrate on his recovery; that’s all.”
Sarah, like Leo before her, nodded reluctant agreement. She wasn’t sure Josh would comprehend what
they told him right now anyway. The debate could wait for another time. “Fine. Go get some sleep.”
Donna reluctantly left just as Leo came back in from his stint at the White House.
“Leo, are you alright? I’m so sorry.” Sarah gushed and hugged her old friend.
“I’m too old for this, Sarah, I swear to God. The White House is a mad house and my Deputy is in the
Intensive Care unit. If it weren’t for Donna…”
“I know. She’s amazing.” Sarah noted. “She kept me updated the entire way here. She even managed to
get word to me when he came out of surgery while I was midflight. I hate to ask how she pulled that off.”
“For Josh, she’s move heaven and earth.” Leo replied. “I can’t stay long, the President needs me back
at the White House soon for a security briefing but I wanted to check on our boy again myself and see if
you needed anything.”
“I’ll be fine here. I managed to get Donna to go home for a bit but now I’m worried about her driving in
her state of exhaustion.”
“I’ve got a car waiting to take her home.” Leo assured her. “She’ll be fine. This is the one I’m worried
about.” Leo indicated Josh with his chin. “We haven’t told him yet.”
“So Donna said.” Sarah told him. “He’s going to be devastated.”
“He’s not the only one.” Leo noted. “You have my number. Call if you need anything or anything
changes.”
“You’ll be my second call.” Sarah smiled wryly enjoying Leo’s jolt at the realization he was coming
second after Donna on the phone tree. “Thanks, Leo. If there’s anything I can do for you, let me know.”
When Donna came back into the room after a six hour break, she found Sarah pacing the width of the
room. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, dear, I just needed to get up and move awhile and didn’t want to leave him alone.” Sarah
smiled. “You haven’t been gone long, Donna, did you get ANY sleep?”
“A bit.” Donna hedged. “I brought you back some soup and a sandwich from a deli near my place. The
food here sucks.”
“That was so thoughtful of you.” Sarah said sincerely and sat down to share the simple meal with Donna.
“Has he woken at all?” Donna asked.
“A couple times when his meds started to wear off, but he was still pretty out of it. Each time he woke up
he was surprised to find me here.” Sarah shared.
Donna smiled at that small bit of humor amid all the emotional turmoil. “Is it alright if I stay?”
“What on earth do you mean? Is it alright if you stay?”
“It’s supposed to be just family in here and now that you’re here…”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard, and I lived with a lawyer for over thirty years.” Sarah jumped
all over Donna’s comment. “You are family, Donnatella.” Sarah’s use of Donna’s full name was
purposeful. She’d heard Josh use it when he was teasing his assistant and knew it was used as a term
of endearment. Donna’s eyes immediately watered up and spilled over with tears.
“I was so scared.” She admitted.
“So was I, Donna, so was I. But he’s made it through the most dangerous part already. We can help him
through the rest.” Sarah declared. Then the door opened and both women were shocked by the
appearance of Dr. Bartlet.
“How’s our boy doing?” She asked.
“As well as can be expected, Ma’am.” Donna answered. “How are you?”
“As well as can be expected.” Dr. Bartlet parroted and gave them a wan smile. She picked up Josh’s
chart and perused it for herself. “His vitals are holding steady. Dr. Cooper thinks if Josh can get through
the next 24 hours without further complications he’ll be out of the woods. They’ll upgrade his condition
and think about moving him to a regular room.”
“That would be an answer to prayers, Dr. Bartlet.” Sarah told her. “But then we’ve been praying for more
than that…and him. I’m so sorry, Ma’am.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Lyman.”
“Sarah, please.” Sarah corrected her. “The whole country is going to feel this loss terribly, but my son…I
don’t know how he’ll get over it. He worshipped your husband.”
“Jed thought the world of Josh, too.” Abby replied. “I remember a couple weeks after the Illinois primary
Jed declared this kid from Connecticut was going to get him elected President. He was amazed to meet
someone who had an ego that rivaled his own.”
“It’s amazing they could both fit in the same room, really.” Sarah noted and both women smiled while
Donna just watched the interaction quietly. “He was a fine President and even more importantly, he was
a good man.”
“Thank you Sarah.” Dr. Bartlet said quietly. “I don’t know what I’ll do without him.” Now all three women
were crying. “I won’t intrude any longer, but I’d like to speak to him when he’s up to it. Will you call me
when it’s a good time?”
“Of course.” Sarah promised. “Our prayers are with you and your family, Ma’am.”
“Thank you and ours are with you, too.” Abby told her. “Donna, don’t wear yourself out taking care of
Joshua. You need to take care of yourself too.”
“Yes, Ma’am.” Donna readily agreed but the sincerity just wasn’t there. She was mostly just relieved Josh
hadn’t awakened during the conversation. She wasn’t ready to share that news just yet.
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“I don’t want… juice, Donna.” Josh protested weakly.
“You need fluids and some sugar; it’s a double whammy.”
“I’ll throw up.” Josh warned. Donna, unsure if he was faking or not, decided not to push it. He was still
more unconscious than conscious and appeared to be in considerable pain.
“You can push the button for more morphine.” Donna put the clicker back in his hand but he dropped it
immediately.
“I can’t…it makes me…can’t think.” Josh complained.
“But it helps you rest and that’s more important right now. You don’t need to think.”
“Help the President…” josh insisted. Donna exchanged a look with Sarah.
“You’re not in any shape to help anyone.”
“Talk to him?” Josh continued.
“You can’t talk to him right now, Joshua.” Sarah tried.
“Leo?” Josh’s fuzzy brain was trying to put the dots together.
“He’s at the White House.” Donna informed him. “Please sleep.”
“Turn on…news.” Josh requested.
“No.” Donna replied and he blinked bleary eyes at her.
“Please?”
“Mrs. Lyman, Miss Moss, how is our patient doing?” Dr. Cooper asked when he came through the door.
“Ah, he’s awake. Mr. Lyman, I’m Dr. Cooper. I was part of the surgical team that worked on you. How are
you feeling?”
“Are you…kidding me?” Josh asked.
“Stupid question, huh?” Cooper admitted. “We’re pleased that your heart and lungs are working
independently. We had you on bypass quite awhile and the heart doesn’t always bounce back so well.
You’ve got a strong one apparently.”
“How much longer do you think he’ll be in ICU?” Sarah asked.
“We’d like to keep him here for another day at least; mostly to be on the safe side. The various injuries
caused quite a bit of trauma and there’s risk of complications that would be best handled in the ICU.”
“The President…is here too?” Josh asked, nodding to the Secret Service agents at the door and in the
hallway.
“Josh…the President-“ Dr. Cooper began uncomfortably.
“They were assigned to you, Josh, by Presidential order. Nobody is sure about the extent of the
conspiracy yet.” Donna cut in throwing the doctor a look that Josh, even drugged, easily caught.
“Donna…what is it?” He demanded. When she remained silent he turned to his mother. “Mom?”
“President Bartlet didn’t make it through surgery, Joshua. I’m sorry.” Sarah said sadly with her hand on
her son’s shoulder.
“No!” Josh tried to sit up but slumped back down in pain. His gaze swung to Donna, begging her with his
eyes to contradict his mother, but she had started crying again. “Hoynes?”
“He was sworn in within the hour after they called President Bartlet’s time of death.” Donna explained.
“No, no, no…” Josh shook his head, refusing to believe this ugly reality. “Leo. I want Leo.”
“He can’t come right now, Josh. He’s been holed up in the sit room for hours. They’ve arrested 4 more
people on the ground and…” Donna threw a cautious look at Dr. Cooper. “They’re not sure they have
everyone in custody or who exactly was behind this.”
“Leo.” Josh repeated.
“I’ll ask him to come as soon as he can.” Donna promised. “Try to sleep now…please?”
Josh didn’t respond at all.
“We’re going to continue monitoring his heart and lungs very carefully. With his risk of infection very
high, we’d like to limit his visitors and any visitors that do come in need to rigorously adhere to the
washing regimen.”
“I’ll make sure of it.” Donna promised. Josh’s breathing changed and all three of them turned to look at
him. He was lying still with his eyes closed but when a tear escaped the corner of his eye, they could see
he wasn’t sleeping. Unable to take it anymore, Donna picked up the morphine clicker herself and pushes
the button. Josh’s eyes opened briefly in surprise and then closed again in sleep.
Dr. Cooper put his hand on Donna’s arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize he didn’t know. It’s possible that in his
current state, he might not remember you told him the next time he wakes up.”
“Telling him once was bad enough.” Donna stated. “Now you’re saying we might have to tell him again?”
“It’s possible. With the level of drugs in his system and the trauma his body has endured…”
“He won’t forget.” Sarah said sadly. “Not if his entire blood stream was morphine.”
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“How is he?” Leo asked when he arrived.
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“How is he?” Leo asked when he arrived.
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“How is he?” Leo asked when he arrived. Donna motioned for him to continue washing.
“He’s in and out of it, but he’s been insisting on talking to you since we told him about the President.”
Donna replied. Leo nodded.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner, but…”
“No, I can’t even imagine...” Donna blew off his apology. “I’m grateful you’re here now.”
“Why don’t you and Sarah give us a few minutes?” Leo requested and Donna nodded.
“Josh, look who’s here.” Donna called to him when they got to his bedside. Josh blinked and tried to
focus. His eyes got big when he recognized Leo. “Your mom and I are going to walk down to get some
really crappy coffee and food in the cafeteria while you catch up.”
Leo pulled up a chair close to Josh’s bed and waited until the women left the room.
“You…okay?” Josh asked and Leo was amazed by the question. Here Josh was, lying in the ICU after 14
hours of surgery following an attempted murder and he was asking if LEO was okay?
“It’s been a rough time. I lost my best friend and I almost lost my son.” Leo choked up.
“White supremacists?” Josh asked.
“That’s what we thought at first, but now we’ve got intelligence showing some terrorist connections.”
“Hoynes?”
“He’s holding things together so far, but he’s pretty freaked.” Leo admitted. “He’s already sharing the
wealth with Davis.” Davis was the Vice President’s Chief of Staff.
“Big mistake.” Josh offered.
“He wants his own guy next door; someone he trusts. I get that.” Leo shrugged. “Honest to God? I don’t
think I could stomach staying with Hoynes.” The fact that Leo referred to Hoynes by his last name
instead of by his new title was not lost on Josh; even in his drug induced haze.
“Where…?” Josh was asking where Leo would go, but Leo didn’t have an answer to that yet. It was all
too new and too overwhelming.
“I’m not worried about that right now, and you shouldn’t be either.” Leo advised.
“Go with you.” Josh told him.
“Hoynes is going to need you, Josh. And it’s not like you haven’t worked together before.” Leo
countered. “In any case, right now your only job is to get better.”
“Dr. Bartlet?”
“She’s hanging in there. There’s a lot to…do; make plans for.” Leo avoided the words ‘state funeral’.
“She stopped by right after your surgery to check on you personally. She said to tell you she’s praying
for your speedy recovery. Liz and Ellie have been rocks for her; Zoey is…not doing so hot.”
Josh closed his eyes against that image. Zoey had always been the most tenderhearted of the girls.
What were the odds that she would be the one present when…
“I…can’t believe…he’s gone.” Josh said quietly.
“Me either, kid…me either.” Leo patted Josh’s arm gently. “You’re a miracle, you know. The odds they
were giving you to just make it through surgery…well, they weren’t pretty.”
Josh shook his head, still with his eyes closed. “Should have been him…not me.”
Leo was not surprised by the sentiment or the survivor’s guilt. How many times had Josh been through
this now? His sister, his father, and now his President. But that would have to wait for another day.
“I have to get back. We’re going to have a CIA briefing in 30 minutes.” Leo explained. “You do what
Donna and the doctor’s tell you to do. I want to see some color in your face the next time I haul my old
ass over here, got it?”
Josh nodded and finally opened his eyes again.
“And it wouldn’t hurt to placate your mom a little. She got the hell scared out of her.”
“Okay.” Josh agreed. “Come back soon?”
“Yeah…as soon as I can manage. Have Donna call me if any of you need anything.” Leo bent his head
and kissed Josh’s forehead as he offered a short prayer of thanksgiving that Josh’s life was spared.
When we walked out the door he was completely unsurprised to see Donna there waiting for him.
“Where’s Sarah?”
“I talked her into taking a nap next door.” Donna motioned next door with her hand. “He’s okay?”
Leo looked into the eyes of the young woman who was far more concerned with the well being of her
boss than any assistant would normally be. Yeah, he’d have to deal with that soon…or maybe, he
thought with a rueful grin, that would be the new guy’s problem.
“He’s dealing with an awful lot right now. I’ll tell you one thing; I’m very glad he has you with him right
now, for his sake and for Sarah’s.” Leo let his words sink in with Donna before he continued. “Hoynes-
the President,” Leo corrected himself, “wants to see Josh. Sometime, tomorrow most likely, you’ll get a
call from Ron Butterfield to arrange it.”
“I don’t think Josh will want to-“
“I’ve already had that conversation with the President. He feels the need to speak to Josh personally
and since Josh can’t come to him…” Leo trailed off. “Listen, he’s most likely going to offer him COS once
he’s back on his feet.”
“Leo-“
“He should take it.” Leo said decisively. “I can’t continue in that job without- I won’t stay and Davis is fine
as COS to the VP, but this is a whole different level and he’s not ready for it. It’s got to be Josh. I’ll stay
until Josh can get back, but once he does, it has to be Josh. You need to help him see that.”
Donna looked honestly torn. “Josh…doesn’t have the best opinion of…the President.” Donna admitted.
“I’m not sure he’d stay with him as DCOS let alone take your job.”
“He wouldn’t be taking my- This is what I’m talking about. I know he and the President have
had…difficulties, but the one thing John Hoynes is not, is stupid. He knows what he doesn’t know, and
he knows he needs Josh. You need to prep him for that meeting.” Leo insisted. “Donna, he’s going to be
listening to you now. You need to get him in a place where he says ‘yes’ to John Hoynes.”
“I’ll try.” Was all she could promise at the moment, but to Leo that in itself was a major victory.
“Good girl. And while you’re taking care of Josh, don’t forget to take care of yourself. You look like hell.”
“Just what every woman wants to hear.” Donna drawled.
“Don’t worry. I’m sure you still look beautiful to Josh.” Leo quipped and had the pleasure of seeing her
eyes bug out. “Jenny always looked beautiful to me. Get some sleep, kid.”
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Chapter 2
“Give me the clicker.” Josh repeated.
“No.” Donna repeated.
“I’m still your boss. Give me the clicker.”
“Technically, you’re on medical leave.”
“Give me the damn clicker.”
“You are not upping your morphine to avoid meeting with the President.” Donna insisted.
“He’s not the-“ Josh broke off in frustration. “Give me the damn clicker!”
“For God’s sake, give ME the morphine. I can’t take you two anymore.” Sarah exclaimed.
“If she would just do what I told her to do-“ Josh began.
“Since when have I EVER done what you told me to do?” Donna interrupted. “The President is coming to
see you and Leo said you NEED to take this meeting, so just…deal with it.”
Josh had been upgraded to serious but stable condition and moved to a regular room that morning.
That seemed to be the signal the President was waiting for and called Donna to arrange a visit later in
the day. She waited as long as possible to tell him, but when she finally had to relay the information of
the impending visit, it nearly sent his blood pressure through the roof and he’d reached for the morphine
drip. Donna had wrested it away from him just in time.
“I can’t- Donna, I just can’t see him right now.” Josh whispered urgently.
“You don’t WANT to see him right now and I understand that, but Leo said it’s important.” Donna
countered. “You think you’re reeling right now? Imagine what John Hoynes is going through. He needs
you Josh. He needs to know he can count on you to help him through this.”
Sarah watched her son digest this information. She marveled at Donna’s ability to handle her son and
manage his moods even while he was in such terrible physical and emotional pain. He had yet to say a
word to her about losing President Bartlet.
“When’s he coming?” Josh asked resigned.
“Ten minutes…or so.” Donna amended as she noticed an uptick in Secret Service in the hall followed by
a brief knock.
“We need to check the room ma’am.” One of the agents announced.
“Of course, we’ll just step out.” Donna offered. She and Sarah left Josh in the capable hands of the
Secret service only to walk into the new President himself in the hall.
“Mrs. Lyman, I’m so glad Josh is doing better.”
“Good afternoon, Mr. President.” Sarah replied. “We’re all relieved that he seems to be out of the
woods, sir. He’s waiting for you.”
“I won’t stay long. I know he gets tired easily and I don’t want to wear him out.” President Hoynes
assured her. “Donna, when I’m finished speaking with Josh, I’d like a word with you too.”
“Certainly, Mr. President.” Donna answered, but the words felt awkward directed at the former Vice-
President. “I’ll wait here for you.”
“Thanks, Donna.” Hoynes started to turn away. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how reluctant is he to meet with
me right now?”
“Sir, I…” Donna hedged.
“Okay, that’s enough of an answer. I’ll be right back.” John told her and Donna rolled her eyes at her
inability to give a quick bullshit answer. It must be her lack of sleep.
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“Josh.”
“Mr. President.” Josh answered quietly. He felt disloyal using the title with Hoynes and apparently it
showed in his voice or on his face.
“If you think it’s hard calling me that, you should imagine being called that.” Hoynes noted.
That made Josh look up and really survey John’s face. He looked tired and worn; like he’d aged several
years in the last couple days. He almost felt sorry for him.
“I’ve spent my life working toward this moment; getting this job. You have to know this isn’t the way I ever
wanted to get it.” Hoynes told him and Josh nodded. He did know that about Hoynes. “Now I find myself
sitting in the Oval during a time of crisis and I don’t have a former President to consult or a Leo of my
own. It’s not a very…encouraging place to be. All these people are looking to me for decisions and I don’
t feel prepared to make them. I always thought I’d be ready when the time came, but I don’t feel ready.”
“I imagine that’s how every President feels at first…sir.” Josh remarked. “President Bartlet…he
assembled a very good team. You should trust the people he put in place…at least until the crisis is past
you.”
John Hoynes was vaguely troubled by Josh’s use of the word ‘you’ rather than ‘us’, but he let that go for
the moment.
“I intend to, but Leo McGarry…he’s already tendered his resignation to me. I don’t think he has the heart
to continue in that office without Jed Bartlet next door.”
Josh physically startled at that news. “You accepted it?”
“With the caveat that he stays on until I can bring in his replacement.” Hoynes paused. “How long do you
figure before you’re up and around again?”
“Sir, I can’t even begin to-“
“I have it on good authority that while you won’t physically be well enough to be in the office for several
weeks, you could actually start handling some work much sooner than that.” Hoynes announced. “With
Donna as a go between, we could handle a lot through fax, phone, and email and you wouldn’t even
have to leave your bed or change out of your pajamas.”
“Mr. President, I’m not sure that-“
“I need you, Josh.” Hoynes said bluntly. “I can’t do this job without you in the office next to mine. Davis
can’t cut it and Leo won’t do it. Your President is asking you to serve again. And if you think I don’t need
you far more than Jed Bartlet ever did, you’ve been taking too much morphine.”
Josh looked down at the blanket covering his badly damaged body. He wasn’t sure he was in any better
shape mentally or emotionally right now. “I need some time to think about it, sir.”
“That’s fair enough, but I’ll need a decision very soon.” Hoynes informed him.
“Give me a day or two.” Josh requested and Hoynes nodded.
“I’m relieved beyond words that you’re doing so well.” John told him. “It’s been the one piece of good
news we’ve had lately and it’s done a lot to lift moral around the West Wing. Everyone sends their
prayers and good wishes.”
“Tell them I appreciate it.” Josh smiled wanly and John could see the toll the conversation was taking on
him.
“Now that you’re out of the ICU, you’ll be getting more visitors, too.” Hoynes predicted and stood. “I’ll be
in touch, Josh. Do what Donna tells you, okay?”
“Why does everyone keep telling me that?” Josh mused out loud.
“It’s REALLY hard to imagine.” John drawled. “Take care and I’ll talk to you in the next couple days.”
President Hoynes, just like Leo, found Donna pacing the hall waiting for him. “He looks like hell.”
“Believe it or not he looks much better today than he did even yesterday.” Donna shared. “Sir.” She
added belatedly and made Hoynes smile.
“Honest assessment, Donna. Where’s is head right now?” Hoynes knew he was taking a risk asking her
and was pleased when she paused a moment to consider her answer.
“He’s having a difficult time, sir. He’s in a lot of physical pain and he’s still coming to grips with the idea
that his boss and mentor was killed.”
“Aren’t we all?” Hoynes quipped. “How much longer will he be on the morphine?”
“That will depend on his recovery. Dr. Cooper is estimating a couple more days before they wean him
off.”
“I’d like to start funneling some papers to him to get his feedback and-“
“No.” Donna shook her head. “I mean, no, sir.”
“Donna, I need to get Josh up to speed as quickly as possible.”
“I appreciate that, sir, but his blood pressure is…problematic and he’s just been through major heart
surgery. If you push him too hard too fast, he won’t be around to bring up to speed. It’s THAT serious.”
Hoynes considered this. “You’ll let me know when the doctors think it would be okay to start giving him
some work?”
“Of course, Mr. President. And I’m not saying he couldn’t handle ANYTHING in a few days, just that we’ll
have to be careful about the work we pass on and monitor him very carefully…if he chooses to go back
to work.” Donna tacked that little tidbit on at the end.
“He’s talking about resigning?”
“He’s made comments, sir. But again, he’s in a very bad place right now and I don’t know that he’s in the
best place to be making those decisions.” Donna clarified.
“Okay. I want you to know that Leo McGarry has offered me his resignation and that I’ve offered the
position to Josh.” President Hoynes told her. “Whether or not he takes that position, I want you to know
that your continued service in the West Wing is very important to me.”
“Thank you, Mr. President, that’s very flattering.”
“It’s the truth. If Josh does accept the job as COS, I want you to start re-thinking your position with him.
Your skills are far too valuable to be spent answering the phone and making appointments.”
“Sir?”
“I’m saying you should consider letting Margaret continue to fill that function, if she’s amenable. I think
you would work very well as a Congressional liaison or a special assistant to the President. You could
help take a lot of stuff of Josh’s plate and he trusts you, which is no small thing.”
“I…I’ll think about that, sir.” Donna hedged. “Right now my only focus is getting Josh back on his feet.”
“That’s as it should be.” Hoynes agreed. “Thanks for getting him to see me, Donna.” She started to
protest but he waved her off. “I know he wasn’t anxious to see me. It’s okay. I don’t blame him.”
Hoynes started to walk away, but turned back for one final thought. “You know, if we gave you a position
as special assistant to me, you wouldn’t be a direct report to Josh anymore…just a thought.” He
shrugged but he smirked too. “Call my office with regular updates please.” He called out as he left.
“Yes…Mr. President.” Donna answered meekly. She walked back into Josh’s room to find him in the dark
with the TV on low. They were showing pieces of President Bartlet’s life as they had been the last few
days; retrospectives abounded. Donna sat on the bed next to Josh and just watched quietly with him.
“They showed this video footage of him playing checkers with Zoey.” Josh said tonelessly. “He loved his
girls so much.”
Donna made no reply, but simply walked over to him and took his hand in hers. They finished up the
coverage with a reminder that the State funeral would be televised live tomorrow.
“I should be there.” He noted.
“You would be if it was at all possible. Everyone understands. Dr. Bartlet even called to tell you not to
worry about it.” Donna reminded him.
“That’s not what I meant.” Josh shook his head briefly. Then Donna got it. He meant it should be him
having the funeral not the President.
“Don’t talk like that. Don’t ever say that again.” Donna rebuked him.
“I lived and the President died? Why Donna? You explain it to me.” Josh demanded angrily.
“I can’t and God knows I would give anything if the President could have been spared, but don’t you
ever say anything about how it should be you instead; not to me and certainly not to your mother or
anybody else who loves you.”
“He had a wife, children, grandchildren and SO much more to do as President!” Josh motioned to the TV
program which had just bled into other program on the short lived Bartlet Presidency.
“It is horribly tragic.” Donna agreed. “But for whatever reason, you’re still here, and I thank God that you
are. It hurts me, it breaks my heart to hear you talk like you shouldn’t be here; like you wish you weren’t.”
“I can’t help how I feel, Donna.”
“Maybe you need to think about it from another perspective. Maybe you’re still here because President
Bartlet needs you to carry on his legacy with John Hoynes. Maybe you’re still here to serve another
purpose.”
“This is what it felt like before.” He told her in a whisper.
“Before? You mean when Joanie died?” He nodded ‘yes’. Donna moved closer to him on the bed and
put her arm gingerly around his shoulder and brought him closer to her. “I don’t know what that’s like, to
lose a sister; especially when you barely escaped yourself.”
“It’s horrible.” Josh replied. “Except this time? It’s not just my personal horror. It’s a national horror and it’
s being replayed on multiple channels day and night; over and over again.”
“Well, that I can help with.” Donna took the remote and turned the TV off plunging them into complete
darkness.
“That’s much better.” Josh muttered.
“It really is.” Donna said sincerely and ran her hand up and down his arm. “Trust me here.”
“I do.” Josh sighed. “Hoynes offered me COS.” He said as if to prove it.
“I know. He told me.”
“Do you think I should take it?”
“Yes. He said if you take the promotion, there will be a promotion in there for me too, so I’m all for it.”
She teased.
“Donna…”
“I’ll tell you what I told him. I don’t think you’re in a good place to make a decision like that right now. I
think you should give it a little time.”
“That’s what I told him I needed; a little time.” Josh smiled in the dark, but it soon slid off his face again.
Donna sensed his change in mood.
“Do you think you could do that? Be COS to John Hoynes?” She asked.
“I don’t know. He’s no Jed Bartlet.” Josh summed it up in the one sentence. “That’s why I left his
campaign in the first place. On the other hand, we’ve all changed a bit since then. Maybe he’s…”
“Maybe.” Donna rested her head on his shoulder briefly.
“I don’t know if I can do this again.”
“Do what?” Donna asked, but Josh just shrugged. “Do what?”
“Recover from this, work for Hoynes…any of it.” Donna could hear the tears in his voice. She silently
handed him the tissue box. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him. I miss him so much.” Donna wasn’t
sure if he was talking about his father or the President; both statements fit both men, so she just
continued to hold him. “It feels like the people closest to me always leave.” He was practically choking on
the words.
“I know, but it’s not your fault.” Now Donna’s tears were forestalling her words as well. “I’m right here and
I won’t leave you, I promise.”
“You can’t promise that. Nobody can.”
“I promise I will always be with you.” She repeated and kissed his wet cheek. Sarah watched from her
silent spot just inside the door and cried herself.
Author: Cathy (www.cathyswestwing.com)
Timeline: In the Shadow of Two Gunmen (goes AU)
Chapter 1
“I couldn’t hear you. What did you say, Josh?” Leo asked.
“He said, ‘what’s next’.” Donna smiled in relief. True, he wasn’t out of the woods yet, but he was awake
and talking; and she wasn’t going to understate the importance of those two things.
“Alright, son.” Leo patted his hand. “You’re going to be alright. Try and rest now.”
“Donna?” Josh croaked.
“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Donna promised. “Go back to sleep now.”
The pair hovering at his bedside waited until his eyes closed and his breathing grew a little deeper
before they spoke another word.
“Sarah will be here any minute.” Leo warned.
“She won’t tell him. We’ll keep the TV off and limit his visitors. How hard could that be?”
“Not hard at first, but once he’s awake for more than a couple minutes at a time…”
“That won’t be for awhile. Maybe even a day or two.” Donna conjectured.
“Donna…” Leo began.
“No. I’m not telling him now and neither is anyone else; not until he’s better.” Donna whispered urgently
with fire in her eyes. Leo backed off, trusting her to do what she thought was best for Josh. Lord knew
the young woman seemed to understand Josh better than anyone else. Leo nodded his agreement and
saw Donna practically slump in relief. In a moment when both their guards were down, Leo pulled Donna
close to his side and squeezed.
“We’ll get through this, kid.”
“I hope so.” Donna murmured.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
“Right this way, ma’am.” The Secret Service directed Sarah Lyman through the massive security and
directly to her son’s ICU room. Sarah was stopped only briefly to be put through the decontamination
routine required before admittance into the ICU. She washed thoroughly and followed the nurse to her
son’s side. Donna was sound asleep on the other side of the bed and the sight made Sarah’s heart
warm. Sarah wondered if the young woman had any idea how much her feelings about Josh showed in
the way her hand was clasped with his.
“Oh, Joshua, thank God you’re still here.” Sarah knew Josh had passed a major hurdle getting through
surgery but she had no illusions that he was out of the woods yet. She stroked his face gently with her
fingers and called his name again. His eyes fluttered open briefly.
“Mom?” He asked hoarsely.
“I’m here, darling. You gave us all quite a scare.” She relayed.
“Sorry.” He muttered and after a brief look of panic, saw that Donna was asleep next to him. “She should
go home.
“Good luck with that.” Sarah chuckled. “Go back to sleep now. I just wanted to see your eyes and hear
your voice.” Her son immediately obeyed her and that unusual occurrence told her just how sick he
really was. She moved to the other side of the bed and gently shook Donna who popped up like a jack in
the box.
“Josh!” She said in her confusion.
“He’s fine.” Sarah hastened to assure her. “You need to go home and get some rest, honey.”
“Oh, Sarah!” Donna fell into the older woman’s arms and sobbed.
“You’ve had quite the ordeal haven’t you? I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you stayed with our
Joshua.”
“How could I leave him?” Donna wondered aloud.
“YOU couldn’t of course, but plenty of others could and would.” Sarah told her. “He’s very lucky to have
you in his life, Donna.”
“I just want him to get better now.” Both women looked over at Josh’s sleeping form. “The doctor’s said
you could page them when you got here so they can give you updates, but I took notes for you from the
last time they came through.” Donna explained.
“I’m sure you did.” Sarah smiled. “But honey, you should go home and sleep for awhile. I’m here now, so
he won’t be alone.”
“I know, but…” Donna hesitated.
“At the very least, why don’t you lay down on the reclining chair, if I can’t convince you to take a break at
home?”
“I could go home for a bit; take a shower and get something decent to eat. I could bring something back
for you?”
“That would be very nice, as long as you take a nap before you come back.” Sarah insisted.
“But that would take-“
“Donna, do you know what kind of guilt I would suffer if you had an accident driving while you are so
tired from taking care of my son?”
“Oh…okay…but you’ll call me if there’s any change? Any change at all?”
“I promise.” Sarah crossed her heart and watched while Donna gathered her things in her purse.
“Here’s the doctor’s pager number, some magazines from last year to read…” Donna trailed off. “Oh,
and don’t bring a newspaper in or let anyone turn on the TV in here. We haven’t told him yet.”
“Donna…” Sarah chastised her gently. “You haven’t told him? He needs to know. It will be the first thing
he asks about when he’s coherent.”
“That could be awhile.” Donna argued. “Right now he has to concentrate on his recovery; that’s all.”
Sarah, like Leo before her, nodded reluctant agreement. She wasn’t sure Josh would comprehend what
they told him right now anyway. The debate could wait for another time. “Fine. Go get some sleep.”
Donna reluctantly left just as Leo came back in from his stint at the White House.
“Leo, are you alright? I’m so sorry.” Sarah gushed and hugged her old friend.
“I’m too old for this, Sarah, I swear to God. The White House is a mad house and my Deputy is in the
Intensive Care unit. If it weren’t for Donna…”
“I know. She’s amazing.” Sarah noted. “She kept me updated the entire way here. She even managed to
get word to me when he came out of surgery while I was midflight. I hate to ask how she pulled that off.”
“For Josh, she’s move heaven and earth.” Leo replied. “I can’t stay long, the President needs me back
at the White House soon for a security briefing but I wanted to check on our boy again myself and see if
you needed anything.”
“I’ll be fine here. I managed to get Donna to go home for a bit but now I’m worried about her driving in
her state of exhaustion.”
“I’ve got a car waiting to take her home.” Leo assured her. “She’ll be fine. This is the one I’m worried
about.” Leo indicated Josh with his chin. “We haven’t told him yet.”
“So Donna said.” Sarah told him. “He’s going to be devastated.”
“He’s not the only one.” Leo noted. “You have my number. Call if you need anything or anything
changes.”
“You’ll be my second call.” Sarah smiled wryly enjoying Leo’s jolt at the realization he was coming
second after Donna on the phone tree. “Thanks, Leo. If there’s anything I can do for you, let me know.”
When Donna came back into the room after a six hour break, she found Sarah pacing the width of the
room. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, dear, I just needed to get up and move awhile and didn’t want to leave him alone.” Sarah
smiled. “You haven’t been gone long, Donna, did you get ANY sleep?”
“A bit.” Donna hedged. “I brought you back some soup and a sandwich from a deli near my place. The
food here sucks.”
“That was so thoughtful of you.” Sarah said sincerely and sat down to share the simple meal with Donna.
“Has he woken at all?” Donna asked.
“A couple times when his meds started to wear off, but he was still pretty out of it. Each time he woke up
he was surprised to find me here.” Sarah shared.
Donna smiled at that small bit of humor amid all the emotional turmoil. “Is it alright if I stay?”
“What on earth do you mean? Is it alright if you stay?”
“It’s supposed to be just family in here and now that you’re here…”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard, and I lived with a lawyer for over thirty years.” Sarah jumped
all over Donna’s comment. “You are family, Donnatella.” Sarah’s use of Donna’s full name was
purposeful. She’d heard Josh use it when he was teasing his assistant and knew it was used as a term
of endearment. Donna’s eyes immediately watered up and spilled over with tears.
“I was so scared.” She admitted.
“So was I, Donna, so was I. But he’s made it through the most dangerous part already. We can help him
through the rest.” Sarah declared. Then the door opened and both women were shocked by the
appearance of Dr. Bartlet.
“How’s our boy doing?” She asked.
“As well as can be expected, Ma’am.” Donna answered. “How are you?”
“As well as can be expected.” Dr. Bartlet parroted and gave them a wan smile. She picked up Josh’s
chart and perused it for herself. “His vitals are holding steady. Dr. Cooper thinks if Josh can get through
the next 24 hours without further complications he’ll be out of the woods. They’ll upgrade his condition
and think about moving him to a regular room.”
“That would be an answer to prayers, Dr. Bartlet.” Sarah told her. “But then we’ve been praying for more
than that…and him. I’m so sorry, Ma’am.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Lyman.”
“Sarah, please.” Sarah corrected her. “The whole country is going to feel this loss terribly, but my son…I
don’t know how he’ll get over it. He worshipped your husband.”
“Jed thought the world of Josh, too.” Abby replied. “I remember a couple weeks after the Illinois primary
Jed declared this kid from Connecticut was going to get him elected President. He was amazed to meet
someone who had an ego that rivaled his own.”
“It’s amazing they could both fit in the same room, really.” Sarah noted and both women smiled while
Donna just watched the interaction quietly. “He was a fine President and even more importantly, he was
a good man.”
“Thank you Sarah.” Dr. Bartlet said quietly. “I don’t know what I’ll do without him.” Now all three women
were crying. “I won’t intrude any longer, but I’d like to speak to him when he’s up to it. Will you call me
when it’s a good time?”
“Of course.” Sarah promised. “Our prayers are with you and your family, Ma’am.”
“Thank you and ours are with you, too.” Abby told her. “Donna, don’t wear yourself out taking care of
Joshua. You need to take care of yourself too.”
“Yes, Ma’am.” Donna readily agreed but the sincerity just wasn’t there. She was mostly just relieved Josh
hadn’t awakened during the conversation. She wasn’t ready to share that news just yet.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
“I don’t want… juice, Donna.” Josh protested weakly.
“You need fluids and some sugar; it’s a double whammy.”
“I’ll throw up.” Josh warned. Donna, unsure if he was faking or not, decided not to push it. He was still
more unconscious than conscious and appeared to be in considerable pain.
“You can push the button for more morphine.” Donna put the clicker back in his hand but he dropped it
immediately.
“I can’t…it makes me…can’t think.” Josh complained.
“But it helps you rest and that’s more important right now. You don’t need to think.”
“Help the President…” josh insisted. Donna exchanged a look with Sarah.
“You’re not in any shape to help anyone.”
“Talk to him?” Josh continued.
“You can’t talk to him right now, Joshua.” Sarah tried.
“Leo?” Josh’s fuzzy brain was trying to put the dots together.
“He’s at the White House.” Donna informed him. “Please sleep.”
“Turn on…news.” Josh requested.
“No.” Donna replied and he blinked bleary eyes at her.
“Please?”
“Mrs. Lyman, Miss Moss, how is our patient doing?” Dr. Cooper asked when he came through the door.
“Ah, he’s awake. Mr. Lyman, I’m Dr. Cooper. I was part of the surgical team that worked on you. How are
you feeling?”
“Are you…kidding me?” Josh asked.
“Stupid question, huh?” Cooper admitted. “We’re pleased that your heart and lungs are working
independently. We had you on bypass quite awhile and the heart doesn’t always bounce back so well.
You’ve got a strong one apparently.”
“How much longer do you think he’ll be in ICU?” Sarah asked.
“We’d like to keep him here for another day at least; mostly to be on the safe side. The various injuries
caused quite a bit of trauma and there’s risk of complications that would be best handled in the ICU.”
“The President…is here too?” Josh asked, nodding to the Secret Service agents at the door and in the
hallway.
“Josh…the President-“ Dr. Cooper began uncomfortably.
“They were assigned to you, Josh, by Presidential order. Nobody is sure about the extent of the
conspiracy yet.” Donna cut in throwing the doctor a look that Josh, even drugged, easily caught.
“Donna…what is it?” He demanded. When she remained silent he turned to his mother. “Mom?”
“President Bartlet didn’t make it through surgery, Joshua. I’m sorry.” Sarah said sadly with her hand on
her son’s shoulder.
“No!” Josh tried to sit up but slumped back down in pain. His gaze swung to Donna, begging her with his
eyes to contradict his mother, but she had started crying again. “Hoynes?”
“He was sworn in within the hour after they called President Bartlet’s time of death.” Donna explained.
“No, no, no…” Josh shook his head, refusing to believe this ugly reality. “Leo. I want Leo.”
“He can’t come right now, Josh. He’s been holed up in the sit room for hours. They’ve arrested 4 more
people on the ground and…” Donna threw a cautious look at Dr. Cooper. “They’re not sure they have
everyone in custody or who exactly was behind this.”
“Leo.” Josh repeated.
“I’ll ask him to come as soon as he can.” Donna promised. “Try to sleep now…please?”
Josh didn’t respond at all.
“We’re going to continue monitoring his heart and lungs very carefully. With his risk of infection very
high, we’d like to limit his visitors and any visitors that do come in need to rigorously adhere to the
washing regimen.”
“I’ll make sure of it.” Donna promised. Josh’s breathing changed and all three of them turned to look at
him. He was lying still with his eyes closed but when a tear escaped the corner of his eye, they could see
he wasn’t sleeping. Unable to take it anymore, Donna picked up the morphine clicker herself and pushes
the button. Josh’s eyes opened briefly in surprise and then closed again in sleep.
Dr. Cooper put his hand on Donna’s arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize he didn’t know. It’s possible that in his
current state, he might not remember you told him the next time he wakes up.”
“Telling him once was bad enough.” Donna stated. “Now you’re saying we might have to tell him again?”
“It’s possible. With the level of drugs in his system and the trauma his body has endured…”
“He won’t forget.” Sarah said sadly. “Not if his entire blood stream was morphine.”
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
“How is he?” Leo asked when he arrived.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
“How is he?” Leo asked when he arrived.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
“How is he?” Leo asked when he arrived. Donna motioned for him to continue washing.
“He’s in and out of it, but he’s been insisting on talking to you since we told him about the President.”
Donna replied. Leo nodded.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner, but…”
“No, I can’t even imagine...” Donna blew off his apology. “I’m grateful you’re here now.”
“Why don’t you and Sarah give us a few minutes?” Leo requested and Donna nodded.
“Josh, look who’s here.” Donna called to him when they got to his bedside. Josh blinked and tried to
focus. His eyes got big when he recognized Leo. “Your mom and I are going to walk down to get some
really crappy coffee and food in the cafeteria while you catch up.”
Leo pulled up a chair close to Josh’s bed and waited until the women left the room.
“You…okay?” Josh asked and Leo was amazed by the question. Here Josh was, lying in the ICU after 14
hours of surgery following an attempted murder and he was asking if LEO was okay?
“It’s been a rough time. I lost my best friend and I almost lost my son.” Leo choked up.
“White supremacists?” Josh asked.
“That’s what we thought at first, but now we’ve got intelligence showing some terrorist connections.”
“Hoynes?”
“He’s holding things together so far, but he’s pretty freaked.” Leo admitted. “He’s already sharing the
wealth with Davis.” Davis was the Vice President’s Chief of Staff.
“Big mistake.” Josh offered.
“He wants his own guy next door; someone he trusts. I get that.” Leo shrugged. “Honest to God? I don’t
think I could stomach staying with Hoynes.” The fact that Leo referred to Hoynes by his last name
instead of by his new title was not lost on Josh; even in his drug induced haze.
“Where…?” Josh was asking where Leo would go, but Leo didn’t have an answer to that yet. It was all
too new and too overwhelming.
“I’m not worried about that right now, and you shouldn’t be either.” Leo advised.
“Go with you.” Josh told him.
“Hoynes is going to need you, Josh. And it’s not like you haven’t worked together before.” Leo
countered. “In any case, right now your only job is to get better.”
“Dr. Bartlet?”
“She’s hanging in there. There’s a lot to…do; make plans for.” Leo avoided the words ‘state funeral’.
“She stopped by right after your surgery to check on you personally. She said to tell you she’s praying
for your speedy recovery. Liz and Ellie have been rocks for her; Zoey is…not doing so hot.”
Josh closed his eyes against that image. Zoey had always been the most tenderhearted of the girls.
What were the odds that she would be the one present when…
“I…can’t believe…he’s gone.” Josh said quietly.
“Me either, kid…me either.” Leo patted Josh’s arm gently. “You’re a miracle, you know. The odds they
were giving you to just make it through surgery…well, they weren’t pretty.”
Josh shook his head, still with his eyes closed. “Should have been him…not me.”
Leo was not surprised by the sentiment or the survivor’s guilt. How many times had Josh been through
this now? His sister, his father, and now his President. But that would have to wait for another day.
“I have to get back. We’re going to have a CIA briefing in 30 minutes.” Leo explained. “You do what
Donna and the doctor’s tell you to do. I want to see some color in your face the next time I haul my old
ass over here, got it?”
Josh nodded and finally opened his eyes again.
“And it wouldn’t hurt to placate your mom a little. She got the hell scared out of her.”
“Okay.” Josh agreed. “Come back soon?”
“Yeah…as soon as I can manage. Have Donna call me if any of you need anything.” Leo bent his head
and kissed Josh’s forehead as he offered a short prayer of thanksgiving that Josh’s life was spared.
When we walked out the door he was completely unsurprised to see Donna there waiting for him.
“Where’s Sarah?”
“I talked her into taking a nap next door.” Donna motioned next door with her hand. “He’s okay?”
Leo looked into the eyes of the young woman who was far more concerned with the well being of her
boss than any assistant would normally be. Yeah, he’d have to deal with that soon…or maybe, he
thought with a rueful grin, that would be the new guy’s problem.
“He’s dealing with an awful lot right now. I’ll tell you one thing; I’m very glad he has you with him right
now, for his sake and for Sarah’s.” Leo let his words sink in with Donna before he continued. “Hoynes-
the President,” Leo corrected himself, “wants to see Josh. Sometime, tomorrow most likely, you’ll get a
call from Ron Butterfield to arrange it.”
“I don’t think Josh will want to-“
“I’ve already had that conversation with the President. He feels the need to speak to Josh personally
and since Josh can’t come to him…” Leo trailed off. “Listen, he’s most likely going to offer him COS once
he’s back on his feet.”
“Leo-“
“He should take it.” Leo said decisively. “I can’t continue in that job without- I won’t stay and Davis is fine
as COS to the VP, but this is a whole different level and he’s not ready for it. It’s got to be Josh. I’ll stay
until Josh can get back, but once he does, it has to be Josh. You need to help him see that.”
Donna looked honestly torn. “Josh…doesn’t have the best opinion of…the President.” Donna admitted.
“I’m not sure he’d stay with him as DCOS let alone take your job.”
“He wouldn’t be taking my- This is what I’m talking about. I know he and the President have
had…difficulties, but the one thing John Hoynes is not, is stupid. He knows what he doesn’t know, and
he knows he needs Josh. You need to prep him for that meeting.” Leo insisted. “Donna, he’s going to be
listening to you now. You need to get him in a place where he says ‘yes’ to John Hoynes.”
“I’ll try.” Was all she could promise at the moment, but to Leo that in itself was a major victory.
“Good girl. And while you’re taking care of Josh, don’t forget to take care of yourself. You look like hell.”
“Just what every woman wants to hear.” Donna drawled.
“Don’t worry. I’m sure you still look beautiful to Josh.” Leo quipped and had the pleasure of seeing her
eyes bug out. “Jenny always looked beautiful to me. Get some sleep, kid.”
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Chapter 2
“Give me the clicker.” Josh repeated.
“No.” Donna repeated.
“I’m still your boss. Give me the clicker.”
“Technically, you’re on medical leave.”
“Give me the damn clicker.”
“You are not upping your morphine to avoid meeting with the President.” Donna insisted.
“He’s not the-“ Josh broke off in frustration. “Give me the damn clicker!”
“For God’s sake, give ME the morphine. I can’t take you two anymore.” Sarah exclaimed.
“If she would just do what I told her to do-“ Josh began.
“Since when have I EVER done what you told me to do?” Donna interrupted. “The President is coming to
see you and Leo said you NEED to take this meeting, so just…deal with it.”
Josh had been upgraded to serious but stable condition and moved to a regular room that morning.
That seemed to be the signal the President was waiting for and called Donna to arrange a visit later in
the day. She waited as long as possible to tell him, but when she finally had to relay the information of
the impending visit, it nearly sent his blood pressure through the roof and he’d reached for the morphine
drip. Donna had wrested it away from him just in time.
“I can’t- Donna, I just can’t see him right now.” Josh whispered urgently.
“You don’t WANT to see him right now and I understand that, but Leo said it’s important.” Donna
countered. “You think you’re reeling right now? Imagine what John Hoynes is going through. He needs
you Josh. He needs to know he can count on you to help him through this.”
Sarah watched her son digest this information. She marveled at Donna’s ability to handle her son and
manage his moods even while he was in such terrible physical and emotional pain. He had yet to say a
word to her about losing President Bartlet.
“When’s he coming?” Josh asked resigned.
“Ten minutes…or so.” Donna amended as she noticed an uptick in Secret Service in the hall followed by
a brief knock.
“We need to check the room ma’am.” One of the agents announced.
“Of course, we’ll just step out.” Donna offered. She and Sarah left Josh in the capable hands of the
Secret service only to walk into the new President himself in the hall.
“Mrs. Lyman, I’m so glad Josh is doing better.”
“Good afternoon, Mr. President.” Sarah replied. “We’re all relieved that he seems to be out of the
woods, sir. He’s waiting for you.”
“I won’t stay long. I know he gets tired easily and I don’t want to wear him out.” President Hoynes
assured her. “Donna, when I’m finished speaking with Josh, I’d like a word with you too.”
“Certainly, Mr. President.” Donna answered, but the words felt awkward directed at the former Vice-
President. “I’ll wait here for you.”
“Thanks, Donna.” Hoynes started to turn away. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how reluctant is he to meet with
me right now?”
“Sir, I…” Donna hedged.
“Okay, that’s enough of an answer. I’ll be right back.” John told her and Donna rolled her eyes at her
inability to give a quick bullshit answer. It must be her lack of sleep.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
“Josh.”
“Mr. President.” Josh answered quietly. He felt disloyal using the title with Hoynes and apparently it
showed in his voice or on his face.
“If you think it’s hard calling me that, you should imagine being called that.” Hoynes noted.
That made Josh look up and really survey John’s face. He looked tired and worn; like he’d aged several
years in the last couple days. He almost felt sorry for him.
“I’ve spent my life working toward this moment; getting this job. You have to know this isn’t the way I ever
wanted to get it.” Hoynes told him and Josh nodded. He did know that about Hoynes. “Now I find myself
sitting in the Oval during a time of crisis and I don’t have a former President to consult or a Leo of my
own. It’s not a very…encouraging place to be. All these people are looking to me for decisions and I don’
t feel prepared to make them. I always thought I’d be ready when the time came, but I don’t feel ready.”
“I imagine that’s how every President feels at first…sir.” Josh remarked. “President Bartlet…he
assembled a very good team. You should trust the people he put in place…at least until the crisis is past
you.”
John Hoynes was vaguely troubled by Josh’s use of the word ‘you’ rather than ‘us’, but he let that go for
the moment.
“I intend to, but Leo McGarry…he’s already tendered his resignation to me. I don’t think he has the heart
to continue in that office without Jed Bartlet next door.”
Josh physically startled at that news. “You accepted it?”
“With the caveat that he stays on until I can bring in his replacement.” Hoynes paused. “How long do you
figure before you’re up and around again?”
“Sir, I can’t even begin to-“
“I have it on good authority that while you won’t physically be well enough to be in the office for several
weeks, you could actually start handling some work much sooner than that.” Hoynes announced. “With
Donna as a go between, we could handle a lot through fax, phone, and email and you wouldn’t even
have to leave your bed or change out of your pajamas.”
“Mr. President, I’m not sure that-“
“I need you, Josh.” Hoynes said bluntly. “I can’t do this job without you in the office next to mine. Davis
can’t cut it and Leo won’t do it. Your President is asking you to serve again. And if you think I don’t need
you far more than Jed Bartlet ever did, you’ve been taking too much morphine.”
Josh looked down at the blanket covering his badly damaged body. He wasn’t sure he was in any better
shape mentally or emotionally right now. “I need some time to think about it, sir.”
“That’s fair enough, but I’ll need a decision very soon.” Hoynes informed him.
“Give me a day or two.” Josh requested and Hoynes nodded.
“I’m relieved beyond words that you’re doing so well.” John told him. “It’s been the one piece of good
news we’ve had lately and it’s done a lot to lift moral around the West Wing. Everyone sends their
prayers and good wishes.”
“Tell them I appreciate it.” Josh smiled wanly and John could see the toll the conversation was taking on
him.
“Now that you’re out of the ICU, you’ll be getting more visitors, too.” Hoynes predicted and stood. “I’ll be
in touch, Josh. Do what Donna tells you, okay?”
“Why does everyone keep telling me that?” Josh mused out loud.
“It’s REALLY hard to imagine.” John drawled. “Take care and I’ll talk to you in the next couple days.”
President Hoynes, just like Leo, found Donna pacing the hall waiting for him. “He looks like hell.”
“Believe it or not he looks much better today than he did even yesterday.” Donna shared. “Sir.” She
added belatedly and made Hoynes smile.
“Honest assessment, Donna. Where’s is head right now?” Hoynes knew he was taking a risk asking her
and was pleased when she paused a moment to consider her answer.
“He’s having a difficult time, sir. He’s in a lot of physical pain and he’s still coming to grips with the idea
that his boss and mentor was killed.”
“Aren’t we all?” Hoynes quipped. “How much longer will he be on the morphine?”
“That will depend on his recovery. Dr. Cooper is estimating a couple more days before they wean him
off.”
“I’d like to start funneling some papers to him to get his feedback and-“
“No.” Donna shook her head. “I mean, no, sir.”
“Donna, I need to get Josh up to speed as quickly as possible.”
“I appreciate that, sir, but his blood pressure is…problematic and he’s just been through major heart
surgery. If you push him too hard too fast, he won’t be around to bring up to speed. It’s THAT serious.”
Hoynes considered this. “You’ll let me know when the doctors think it would be okay to start giving him
some work?”
“Of course, Mr. President. And I’m not saying he couldn’t handle ANYTHING in a few days, just that we’ll
have to be careful about the work we pass on and monitor him very carefully…if he chooses to go back
to work.” Donna tacked that little tidbit on at the end.
“He’s talking about resigning?”
“He’s made comments, sir. But again, he’s in a very bad place right now and I don’t know that he’s in the
best place to be making those decisions.” Donna clarified.
“Okay. I want you to know that Leo McGarry has offered me his resignation and that I’ve offered the
position to Josh.” President Hoynes told her. “Whether or not he takes that position, I want you to know
that your continued service in the West Wing is very important to me.”
“Thank you, Mr. President, that’s very flattering.”
“It’s the truth. If Josh does accept the job as COS, I want you to start re-thinking your position with him.
Your skills are far too valuable to be spent answering the phone and making appointments.”
“Sir?”
“I’m saying you should consider letting Margaret continue to fill that function, if she’s amenable. I think
you would work very well as a Congressional liaison or a special assistant to the President. You could
help take a lot of stuff of Josh’s plate and he trusts you, which is no small thing.”
“I…I’ll think about that, sir.” Donna hedged. “Right now my only focus is getting Josh back on his feet.”
“That’s as it should be.” Hoynes agreed. “Thanks for getting him to see me, Donna.” She started to
protest but he waved her off. “I know he wasn’t anxious to see me. It’s okay. I don’t blame him.”
Hoynes started to walk away, but turned back for one final thought. “You know, if we gave you a position
as special assistant to me, you wouldn’t be a direct report to Josh anymore…just a thought.” He
shrugged but he smirked too. “Call my office with regular updates please.” He called out as he left.
“Yes…Mr. President.” Donna answered meekly. She walked back into Josh’s room to find him in the dark
with the TV on low. They were showing pieces of President Bartlet’s life as they had been the last few
days; retrospectives abounded. Donna sat on the bed next to Josh and just watched quietly with him.
“They showed this video footage of him playing checkers with Zoey.” Josh said tonelessly. “He loved his
girls so much.”
Donna made no reply, but simply walked over to him and took his hand in hers. They finished up the
coverage with a reminder that the State funeral would be televised live tomorrow.
“I should be there.” He noted.
“You would be if it was at all possible. Everyone understands. Dr. Bartlet even called to tell you not to
worry about it.” Donna reminded him.
“That’s not what I meant.” Josh shook his head briefly. Then Donna got it. He meant it should be him
having the funeral not the President.
“Don’t talk like that. Don’t ever say that again.” Donna rebuked him.
“I lived and the President died? Why Donna? You explain it to me.” Josh demanded angrily.
“I can’t and God knows I would give anything if the President could have been spared, but don’t you
ever say anything about how it should be you instead; not to me and certainly not to your mother or
anybody else who loves you.”
“He had a wife, children, grandchildren and SO much more to do as President!” Josh motioned to the TV
program which had just bled into other program on the short lived Bartlet Presidency.
“It is horribly tragic.” Donna agreed. “But for whatever reason, you’re still here, and I thank God that you
are. It hurts me, it breaks my heart to hear you talk like you shouldn’t be here; like you wish you weren’t.”
“I can’t help how I feel, Donna.”
“Maybe you need to think about it from another perspective. Maybe you’re still here because President
Bartlet needs you to carry on his legacy with John Hoynes. Maybe you’re still here to serve another
purpose.”
“This is what it felt like before.” He told her in a whisper.
“Before? You mean when Joanie died?” He nodded ‘yes’. Donna moved closer to him on the bed and
put her arm gingerly around his shoulder and brought him closer to her. “I don’t know what that’s like, to
lose a sister; especially when you barely escaped yourself.”
“It’s horrible.” Josh replied. “Except this time? It’s not just my personal horror. It’s a national horror and it’
s being replayed on multiple channels day and night; over and over again.”
“Well, that I can help with.” Donna took the remote and turned the TV off plunging them into complete
darkness.
“That’s much better.” Josh muttered.
“It really is.” Donna said sincerely and ran her hand up and down his arm. “Trust me here.”
“I do.” Josh sighed. “Hoynes offered me COS.” He said as if to prove it.
“I know. He told me.”
“Do you think I should take it?”
“Yes. He said if you take the promotion, there will be a promotion in there for me too, so I’m all for it.”
She teased.
“Donna…”
“I’ll tell you what I told him. I don’t think you’re in a good place to make a decision like that right now. I
think you should give it a little time.”
“That’s what I told him I needed; a little time.” Josh smiled in the dark, but it soon slid off his face again.
Donna sensed his change in mood.
“Do you think you could do that? Be COS to John Hoynes?” She asked.
“I don’t know. He’s no Jed Bartlet.” Josh summed it up in the one sentence. “That’s why I left his
campaign in the first place. On the other hand, we’ve all changed a bit since then. Maybe he’s…”
“Maybe.” Donna rested her head on his shoulder briefly.
“I don’t know if I can do this again.”
“Do what?” Donna asked, but Josh just shrugged. “Do what?”
“Recover from this, work for Hoynes…any of it.” Donna could hear the tears in his voice. She silently
handed him the tissue box. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him. I miss him so much.” Donna wasn’t
sure if he was talking about his father or the President; both statements fit both men, so she just
continued to hold him. “It feels like the people closest to me always leave.” He was practically choking on
the words.
“I know, but it’s not your fault.” Now Donna’s tears were forestalling her words as well. “I’m right here and
I won’t leave you, I promise.”
“You can’t promise that. Nobody can.”
“I promise I will always be with you.” She repeated and kissed his wet cheek. Sarah watched from her
silent spot just inside the door and cried herself.
