Chapter 33
“I’m saying they’re coming home tomorrow and it’s going to be a mess.” Sam reiterated.
“I agree, but since there’s very little I can do about it…” Ainsley trailed off.
“You’re in the White House Counsel’s office!” Sam objected.
“We’re not working this. These were personal actions taken by the then Deputy Chief of Staff and
the social secretary to the President. They each have their personal attorneys.”
“Josh is going to get called.” Sam stated.
“Again, I agree.” Ainsley sighed and reached for the ketchup. They were having ‘dinner’ at Sam’s
which consisted of take out from the nearby diner. The hamburgers were okay but the French fries
and onion rings were to die for.
Sam moved them both out of her reach while he asked her his next question.
“What can we do to help him?”
“Since I haven’t been hired as his attorney, not a whole hell of a lot,” Ainsley replied and reached for
the rings, but Sam kept them out of her grasp. “Are you withholding food from me until I ‘do
something’ to help Josh?” She asked icily.
“Of course not,” He answered wisely and slowly moved both items back into the space between them.
“I just don’t feel I have your complete focus.”
“I focus better with food.”
“Like I don’t know that,” Sam muttered and earned himself a death glare. “I’m just concerned about
my friend.”
“I know that. I am too.”
“He hasn’t been himself and some of that I understand better now since Hoynes made his big
confession, but jumping into the center of this Federal case which the press is salivating over isn’t
what he needs to be doing right now.”
“He isn’t going to have much choice.” Ainsley said quietly. “They’re going to move on this fast and
the press isn’t going to stop circling anytime soon.”
“Mandy needs to stop feeding that beast.”
“She’s just making sure there’s no way Davis can be rehabilitated if he’s able to wriggle out of these
charges.” Ainsley explained.
“Are you kidding me? You think that snake might be able to wriggle out of the charges?” Sam asked
incredulously.
“Sam… I know Josh is one of your best friends, but look at this like an attorney for a minute; an
objective attorney.” Ainsley clarified. “This case, though very incriminating for Davis, is still
circumstantial. They have him on getting a copy of the report, and it appears like they can make the
case that he made copies of it, but leaking it… they can’t make a direct link between Davis and the
news agencies that received illegal copies of the report; at least not yet.”
“Ainsley, if he walks…” Sam shook his head.
“One step at a time - There’s time before the trial starts. And I didn’t say he was going to walk, I said
he might.”
“I’d rather you didn’t say that either.”
“So you want me to lie to you?”
“Pretty much…yeah,” Sam agreed. “I just hope Josh isn’t being inundated with this on their trip.”
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“I didn’t expect to hear from you over your honeymoon.” Stanley admitted. “I’m assuming you’re not
calling to give me a weather report?”
“Smart ass… Just for that, I should give you a stinking weather report.” Josh noted. “It’s sunny and
88 here today.”
“Yeah, well, I’m in California, not DC so I’m not far behind you in the hot and sunny department.”
Stanley pointed out.
“I guess.” Josh said grudgingly. “It IS gorgeous here though.”
“I know; I’ve been there.” Stanley determined Josh needed this side trip before they got done to the
reason for the call so he obliged him. “What do you like best there?”
“Hearing the ocean,” Josh responded without missing a beat.
“That’s very calming. It’s supposed to remind us of our time in the womb all safe and warm and
surrounded by ‘water’.”
“Seriously?” Josh chuckled. “I’m afraid my memories don’t go back that far.”
“Yes, they do. They’re just subconscious.”
“If they’re subconscious, and we can’t consciously remember them, how do we really know you psych
majors aren’t just making this shit up?”
“Are you having trouble with your memory, Josh?”
“Well I certainly can’t remember back to the womb.”
“Let’s shoot for something a little more recent.” Stanley.
“I had a waffle and a fruit cup for breakfast,” Josh shared.
“A fruit cup?” Stanley confirmed.
“Donna made me.” Josh muttered. “We’re all eating healthy.”
“Not a bad plan, but it isn’t going to help you with your memory lapses either.” Stanley leveled with
him.
“Yeah, I didn’t think so.” Josh replied.
“How bad is it?”
“I can’t remember what people tell me within a few minutes of them telling me.” Josh said quietly.
“How long has this been going on?”
“For awhile,” Josh didn’t elaborate further.
“Just out of curiosity, how did you manage the whole Family Wellness deal when you can’t…”
“My memory is impaired not my cognitive functions.” He quipped. “I used different strategies… writing
notes, having others summarize points we’d agreed on, stalling, answering questions with
questions… hey, that’s kind of like your job isn’t it?” Josh paused thoughtfully while Stanley sighed.
“Maybe I should get into your line of work.”
“You’ve certainly had a decent amount of experience with therapy.” Stanley shot back and made
Josh laugh. “But I don’t think you’re quite ready to sit on my side of the couch yet.”
“Why not?”
“Generally speaking, therapists aren’t supposed to engage in avoidance behavior.”
“And I’m doing that now?”
“And you’re doing that now… again.” Stanley qualified.
“Then the only career option I have left open to me is stay at home dad.” Josh sighed.
“Please… you’re not REMOTELY qualified to be a stay at home dad.” Stanley noted.
“Why not?”
“First of all, you need a child to be a stay at home dad.”
“I have a child… she’s just not exactly born yet.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Did I forget to tell you that news?”
“I think so.” Stanley laughed.
“Donna’s pregnant.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah.”
“So you’ve had… quite the last few weeks.”
“Yeah.”
“But that aside - You can’t stay at home with a baby that isn’t born yet. Donna’s kind of stuck with
that duty at the moment.”
“Well if you’re going to get technical…”
“How do you feel about that?”
“The baby?”
“Yes, Josh, the baby.”
“Excited,” Josh replied so quickly that Stanley knew it had to be the truth. “The only thing better than
being married to Donna is having a child with Donna.”
“That sounds nice… perfectly normal.”
“Yeah…”
“Except that you just resigned from a very high profile Government job, you’re in the middle of a
Federal investigation, and the media are all clamoring for an interview with you about the revelations
from the President’s recent admissions of alcohol abuse and extra-marital affairs.”
“Well when you put it that way…” Josh sighed.
“It’s a big deal, Josh.”
“It’s not like I’M being investigated for Federal crimes, Stanley.”
“No, but you’re at the center of it… and it will probably hit a climax right around the time your child is
being born.”
“You’re just a ray of sunshine, Stanley, you know that?”
“I was already concerned about how you were going to handle re-entry before I heard about the
newest Lyman. What are your plans now, Josh?”
“We’re going back to D.C. and then I’ll just… figure it out.”
“You mean you and DONNA will work it out?”
“What did *I* say?”
“You said, ‘I’LL just figure it out’.”
“I meant, ‘WE’LL figure it out’.” Josh amended.
“Was Donna one of your strategies?”
“What?”
“During the Family Wellness deal; was Donna one of your strategies for dealing with the memory
problems?”
“No.”
“So you haven’t told her?”
“What makes you think I haven’t…”
“Because if you had, she’d have been one of your strategies - Why didn’t you tell Donna?”
“I thought maybe it was a temporary thing. During the Wellness stuff, she was so tired, she slept
through a lot of it and I could assign her to other groups so she wouldn’t notice if I slipped up.”
“Sure.” Stanley agreed, “Makes perfect sense.”
“See?”
“Sure… except for the part when Donna eventually finds out and kills you.” Stanley predicted.
“She wouldn’t kill me.”
“Maybe she’ll forgive you so her child has a father, but I wouldn’t bank on it.” Stanley offered. “Okay,
so you didn’t talk to Donna. What did your doctor say?”
“My doctor? Donna’s the one that’s pregnant, not me.”
“Josh… some of the medication you’re taking could be responsible for the memory issues you’re
having.” Stanley pointed out and there was a long silence. “Josh… you’re taking your medication
right?”
“Yeeeeees.”
“All of your prescribed medication?” Stanley qualified.
“All of my prescribed blood pressure medication.” Josh muttered.
Stanley closed his eyes and counted to ten. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, JOSH?” Maybe the
counting didn’t actually help.
“The PTSD is mostly about stress, right? I’ve got no job; I’ve got no stress.” Josh reasoned.
“You can’t possibly be that stupid. I’ve seen your diplomas from Harvard and Yale.” Stanley
muttered. “It’s POST traumatic stress you id… so… no job, no stress, no problems.”
“Right.”
“How’s the President these days?”
“I haven’t spoken to Hoynes since I resigned.”
“That’s not who I was asking about.”
There was a deadly silence on the other end and Stanley surmised he’d hit the nail on the head.
“Josh?”
“Do you find some sort of perverse pleasure in all this?” Josh asked quietly. “Making fun of your
patients that are slowly losing their minds?”
“That’s not what I’m doing.” Stanley assured him. “You don’t exactly bring these things up, Josh.
Sometimes I need to go on fishing expeditions with you.”
“I’m not some kind of game fish, Stanley.” Josh said angrily.
“I’m not trying to reel you in, Josh. I’m fishing for information about you.”
“You and every other person on the planet,” Josh spat out.
“So the press thing MAY BE causing a little stress for you?”
“What’s your point, Stanley?” Josh shouted into the phone.
“ONE of my points, Josh, is that work was only a part of your stress in life. Your life is filled with
stress; everyone’s lives are filled with stress. Getting married is stressful. Having a child is stressful.
And those are just the positive stressors. You’re talking about adding a Federal trial, a change of
jobs, and a media feeding frenzy. Do you know that getting married, having a baby, and changing
your job are all in the top five most stressful life changes?”
“Well, we’re thinking about moving too, and I know that’s on that list somewhere.”
“See? You’re not completely ignorant.” Stanley paused. “Your anti-anxiety medications and your
sleeping medications are important to your recovery and to your ability to deal with all that life is
going to be throwing at you in the next few months. You need. To take. Your meds.”
“I thought if I was off them for awhile, maybe my memory might get better.” Josh admitted.
“Has it?”
“No.”
“Josh… memory can be significantly impacted by stress.”
“I know.”
“And you’ve been under a tremendous amount of stress in the past few months.”
“I know that too.”
“The stress hasn’t stopped just because you resigned as COS.”
“How do I get the stress to stop then?”
“You die.”
“I’m not willing to go that far.”
“I’m very glad to hear that, Josh.” Stanley smirked. “What I’m saying, is that you can come out from
the political witness protection program. You can watch the news, you can take interviews with
journalists you trust and you can even continue to work in politics.”
“Not without a working memory, I can’t.” Josh argued.
“You’d be surprised. There’s no reason that the strategies you used for the Wellness Bill wouldn’t
work on a more regular basis as long as you have someone next to you that you trust and who
knows the score. Besides, that may improve once you start dealing with all this instead of engaging
in a constant state of denial.”
Josh considered this but didn’t comment.
“Once you get back to D.C. you need regularly scheduled therapy appointments again as well as
regular check–ins with your medical doctor.”
“Sure. I’ll schedule them on the same day Donna has her prenatal appointments. We can have his
and hers appointments.” Josh said sarcastically.
“Joke all you want to, but it’s you calling me from your honeymoon in Hawaii for help.”
“Shit!” Josh replied. “You’re right.”
“I usually am. You should get used to it.”
“Is this what Donna calls being insufferably egomaniacal?”
“Maybe in YOUR case.”
“Ah.”
“Can I ask you something?”
Josh laughed. “You’re asking me if you can ask me something?”
“What made you resign as COS?”
“Are you kidding me with this, Stanley?” Josh scoffed. “My ‘delicate mental condition’ was just leaked
to the press. Then as you just mentioned, there was the booze and the women; that’s not enough?”
“It is, but I can’t imagine it escaped your notice up until then either. The booze and the women, I
mean. And it seems to those of us out here in the cheap seats that Hoynes still wanted you to stay
despite the leak, so there must have been something else that tipped the scales for you.”
“You’re pretty good at this, you know that Stanley?”
“That’s why I get the big bucks.” Stanley responded. “So what was it? What tipped the scales?”
“There really are some things I can’t talk to you about… that aren’t my issues to discuss.”
“Well, no, there aren’t. Doctor patient confidentiality covers anything we discuss. What tipped the
scales?” Stanley repeated.
“Stanley, I’m saying that…”
“You didn’t quit when President Bartlet was killed and you were critically wounded. You didn’t quit
when President Hoynes started drinking or when you found out he was having an affair.”
“A string of affairs actually, but I guess it hardly matters at this point whether or not…”
“You didn’t quit when the Secret Service report was leaked.”
“Excuse me, Stanley. I hate to correct you when you’re on a roll, but that’s EXACTLY when I quit.”
“No. The timing was coincidental.” Stanley countered. “Something else happened. Something
pushed you over the edge into not caring anymore; not about your President, his administration…
anything political. What tipped the scales? What made you quit?” He pressed.
“I don’t believe in that bullshit anymore!” Josh shouted. “It’s all bullshit. You work your ass off for
days/weeks/months/years and for what? To find out everything you believed in was a lie to begin
with?”
“What was a lie Josh?” Stanley asked quietly.
“Nothing… It doesn’t matter.” Josh said in a clipped voice. “There’s just no such thing as the real
thing, Stanley. Everybody has their own agenda and they don’t give a damn about anyone else’s.”
“What about the Wellness Bill? Everybody seemed to be able to put somebody else’s interests first
to get that done.”
Josh laughed humorlessly. “You want to know how we got that done, Stanley? You want the inside
scoop? There were two main factors; 1) Ron Davis had screwed so many people over on both sides
of the aisle, that they were ALL willing to put aside their personal differences for payback. 2) I had no
political agenda at all so I had nothing to gain and nothing to lose. I won by shepherding people in
hate.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“I have a lot more political experience than you Stanley. That’s the way it went down.”
“Ah, but I have an advantage you don’t.” Stanley pointed out. “I’ve been watching the news and you
haven’t. I’ve heard more than a dozen of those ‘hate driven’ people you think you’re describing and
they tell quite a different story.”
“What do they say?”
“Turn on the television, open your laptop, or pick up a newspaper and find out.” Stanley challenged
him. “Then when you get home… talk to your friends and come up with a plan together… after you
make a couple of doctor appointments.”
Josh laughed, “Anything else?”
“Yeah… call your mother.”
“My mother?!” Josh repeated incredulously.
“It’s never a bad idea to call your mother.” Stanley laughed back and hung up.
Chapter 34
“You think this is funny?” CJ asked.
“It’s not for you, it’s for Danny.” Josh explained while CJ held up the coconut bra. “Well, it’s FOR you
but it’s Danny that will appreciate it.”
“Uh-huh.” CJ rolled her eyes.
“Donna looks great in hers.” He assured her.
“Donna has not and will not wear hers!” Donna called from the kitchen.
“Damn, her hearing is very good.” Sam noted and Josh nodded. “Where’s my present?”
“Who said you get a present?”
“Ainsley got the Hawaiian pineapple soap dispenser, CJ got the lovely Hawaiian outfit, Danny got the
ashtray made out of shells…what did you get me?”
“Give him the present before he starts whining.” CJ insisted.
“I think he’s already whining.” Josh disputed, but handed Sam an item wrapped in tissue paper. Sam
uncovered it like a kid at Christmas expecting a new baseball glove. Once he’d unwrapped it, he
looked from it to Josh and back again.
“What is it?”
“It’s a dashboard hula girl.” Josh exclaimed. “You put it on your dashboard and when the car moves
she… you know, hulas.” Josh demonstrated by gyrating his hips.
“Oh. God!” Sam groaned while Ainsley laughed.
“It will look so good in the SAAB.” She continued laughing while Sam tried to figure out where he
could put it without offending Josh or his own sensibilities.
“I can honestly say… you shouldn’t have.” He muttered. “Thanks.”
“See? He loves it!” Josh told Donna as she came in with a tray full of appetizers.
“I don’t know how I could have ever doubted you, baby.” Donna drawled to the amusement of the
group assembled. Sam noted that Josh immediately stood and took the tray out of Donna’s hands to
complete the task of bringing it into the living room and setting it on the coffee table.
“Why are we having all this stuff? I thought we invited everyone over for dinner?” He asked.
“Well…*I* invited everyone over for dinner but it’s not unheard of to offer appetizers while waiting for
all the guests to arrive.”
“Who else are we waiting for?” Josh asked in confusion.
“Charlie, Zoey, and Toby…”
“I thought Toby couldn’t make it.”
“He decided he’d come as soon as his meeting was over. He’s just going to be a bit late… and I
promised he could spend the night.” Donna added. Josh just grinned. He missed his friend, though
he’d never admit it out loud. Donna couldn’t help it if Josh didn’t specifically ask if there was anyone
else they were waiting for.
So when there was a knock on the door 30 minutes later, Josh volunteered to get it and was more
than a little shocked by the person facing him on the other side. “Leo…”
“Welcome home, kid.” Leo shuffled a bit on his feet. “You had a good flight back?”
“It was fine.” Josh replied uneasily.
“Josh?” Leo said tentatively. “Did I get the night wrong? I could have sworn Donna said dinner with
the gang was tonight at 8.”
“No… no, it’s tonight.” Josh backed up and Leo followed him inside.
“Leo!” Donna greeted him with a hug and kiss. “We’re just having some appetizers and pre-dinner
drinks. Josh, get Leo something to drink and give him your present.”
Josh gave his wife a look that told her they’d be discussing this later, but decided, for the moment, to
obey her commands.
Leo sat with the others and opened his package. He peered carefully inside the box like he was
afraid of whatever it might be popping out at him. Then he let out a great big belly laugh and held up
the black t-shirt emblazoned with the words, ‘The Big Kahuna’ on it for everyone to see. Then, to
Josh’s shock, Leo slipped the T-shirt over his dress shirt and proclaimed that the Extra Large shirt
was a perfect fit. That caused eruptions of laughter from everyone.
They didn’t have to wait long for Toby, Charlie, and Zoey to arrive and start dinner. It was a loud,
boisterous affair, and though Donna kept looking over at Josh to see if it was getting to be too much
for him, she could see no signs of him being overwhelmed or needing a break. There was a little
walking on eggshells going on though, too. Politics was only mentioned as a sidebar to another topic.
Conversations revolved around personal topics; plans for Sam and Ainsley’s wedding, CJ and Danny’
s trip west to visit CJ’s dad, Josh’s search for a new home for the Lyman family, etc. It wasn’t until
after dessert was served that Josh broached the subject everyone was tiptoeing around.
“So… I’ve been summoned to the White House for a meeting with Hoynes tomorrow.” He offered.
“I was beginning to think you were going to continue to ignore him.” Sam replied.
“It’s harder to do here in D.C. than it was in Hawaii.” Josh said ruefully. “What’s he going to be talking
to me about, Leo?”
“We haven’t discussed it.” Leo answered honestly.
“But you have been talking to him.” Josh surmised. “The Meyers appointment had your name written
all over it.”
“He’s good there for now.”
“I’m not arguing the point. I’m just saying Hoynes would have never come up with it on his own.”
“We’ve been meeting every couple days.” Leo admitted. “But he hasn’t said anything about your
meeting tomorrow. I do know he’d like to have you back in the west wing.”
“I’ll bet.” Sam scoffed. “Can I be there when you tell him to go to hell?”
“Am I telling him to go to hell just on principle or…” Josh smirked.
“That would be fine, but I was thinking he could take his job offer and shove it up his…” Ainsley cut
Sam off.
“You’re speaking about the President of the United States… and my boss, Samuel.” She reminded
him.
“Yes, and I’ve already told you how I’d like to change that situation.” Sam shot back.
“Not here.” Ainsley said quietly.
“He’s a womanizing, alcoholic that…”
“Sam.” Josh interrupted him this time and threw a look at Leo in warning.
“Sorry, Leo, I didn’t mean…” Sam was instantly contrite.
“I know that, Sam.” Leo immediately reassured him. “If you think I wasn’t pissed at him...” Leo shook
his head at the memory of confronting John Hoynes about his drinking in the Oval office. “And it wasn’
t just about the drinking either,” He admitted, giving Josh the opening he’d been looking for in how to
address the Multiple Sclerosis.
“The President shared something with me while he was drinking… the day I resigned.” Josh said
quietly and paused while he looked at Zoey for permission to continue. If she wasn’t okay with this,
he could keep it all vague and still make his point. However Zoey gave him a nod so he went on with
his story. “I was criticizing some of the decisions he’d made…”
“That’s so out of character.” Toby interjected.
“Yeah,” Josh allowed. “In an effort to bring me down a peg or two, he told me something about
President Bartlet that I had been unaware of. It threw me for quite a loop and I’m guessing you’ll have
the same reaction, but Abby told me that it will be part of an article she’s agreed to do and she gave
me permission to tell you ahead of time.”
“What is it?” CJ asked with a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach.
“Seven years ago, President Bartlet was diagnosed with relapsing remitting Multiple Sclerosis.” Josh
said simply and waited for the reaction to set it. It didn’t take long. All eyes swung over to Zoey.
“I think he was afraid to tell people.” She offered. “He didn’t want anyone to think that the M.S.
defined him.”
“Well…” Sam tried to find words; and failed.
“How did Hoynes find out?” Danny, ever the reporter, asked.
“President Bartlet told him the night he asked Hoynes to be the Vice President.” Josh replied.
“When did he tell you?” CJ turned to Leo without accusation.
“Actually, Abby told me when she asked if we could reschedule the State of the Union after he had
an attack.” Leo answered. CJ, like Josh before her, did the mental tabulations.
“When you told us he had the flu?” She confirmed.
“*I* was told he had the flu.” Leo clarified. “It wasn’t until my conversation with Abby later that I found
out the truth.”
“And he asked you to keep it from us?” Sam chimed in.
“He didn’t have to.” Leo said snippily. “It wasn’t my information to share unless it affected his ability to
carry out his duties as President.”
“But...” CJ began.
“I knew about the booze and the affairs, CJ, and I said nothing.” Josh interjected. “What’s the
difference?”
“Frankly Josh, I don’t think there’s much of one.” CJ tossed back. “What if he’d been unable to
discharge his duties?”
“Which one?” Josh queried.
“EITHER one,” She snapped.
“That’s what Vice-Presidents are for.” Leo answered and Josh nodded grimly. “You’re not in a
position to MAKE the President of the United States do something or disclose something he doesn’t
want to.”
“But…” CJ tried again but trailed off when Danny put a hand on her shoulder.
“It’s different when you’re sitting in that office, Ceej.” Josh said quietly. “I can’t explain it, and I’m not
saying that it’s always the right thing to do, but you serve the President first.”
CJ’s mouth was clenched shut. Sam was staring unseeing into his wine glass. Ainsley was watching
Sam. Only Toby met Josh’s eyes.
“You should have told us earlier.” He said grimly.
“I’m sorry…”
“No, I meant… if you’d told us earlier I’d have understood about… a lot of things. I wouldn’t have
pressured you to talk to Hoynes.” Toby clarified. “You should have told us earlier.”
“I needed some time to work through it.”
“You seem to think that means you have to do it alone.” Toby countered. “You seem to think you
have to deal with quite a bit all alone.”
Josh sent an accusatory look at Donna who shrugged guiltily. His wife had been very busy since he
confessed his memory problems to her on their flight back.
“I’m sorry.” Sam piped up. “What else are you dealing with alone?”
“Nothing, I…”
Sam turned to Toby and jerked his head toward Josh. “What else is he dealing with alone?”
“Some kind of memory issues,” Toby reported and Josh groaned.
“I’m seeing my medical doctors, plural, this week.” Josh was quick to jump in. “I’m having phone
consults with the guy from ATVA and resuming my weekly appointments with my therapist. That’s
hardly what I’d call ‘dealing with it alone’.”
“I notice you didn’t mention the names of any of your friends in that litany.” CJ added.
“Don’t feel bad CJ, he JUST added his wife to that litany.” Donna chimed in and Josh realized he’d
grossly underestimated her level of being pissed at him for not telling her about the memory stuff
sooner.
“So… What’s next?” Charlie asked and everyone turned to him. “What? People have been keeping
secrets from other people. Call CNN.” The young man shrugged. “What we need now is a plan.”
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After everyone had left but Toby, who was spending the night, Donna pleaded exhaustion and went
to bed leaving her husband and his friend to take shots from the new shot glasses Toby had
received from the Lymans that had a pictures of scenes from the Hawaiian islands on them.
“Did I remember to thank you for this?” Toby asked.
“I don’t think so.”
“Well… thanks.”
“That sounded enthusiastic.” Josh complained. “It’s a set of six glasses you know.”
“No… cause I’m no good with, you know, numbers.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Anyway, after seeing the
other shit… I mean, gifts, I’m suddenly very grateful for the shot glasses.”
“They’re functional too.” Josh noted as he poured another shot of whiskey for each of them.
“No shit.” Toby snapped his fingers. “I know what I was going to ask you. Where the hell was Mandy
tonight?”
“She and Will got stuck at work.” Josh replied, “Something about… Haiti?”
“Huh.” Toby processed that a minute. “Wait a second - Mandy and Will?”
“Yeah.”
“There’s a ‘MandyandWill’ or is it just that Mandy… and her Press Secretary Will Bailey, got stuck at
work?”
“You didn’t notice them slow dancing at the wedding?” Josh chuckled.
“I thought they were just… drunk or something.” Toby responded making a face at the couple in his
imagination.
“If they were, then they’re drinking all the time.” Josh smirked and had the pleasure of seeing Toby’s
face screw up in disgust, “Lots and lots of drinking.” He teased.
“That’s just wrong.” Toby declared. “That she should be… drinking with her subordinate while some
of us aren’t… drinking at all.”
“We’re both drinking tonight.” Josh pointed out and Toby inclined his head in acknowledgement of
that fact and poured them both another shot.
“You should come to Columbia.” Toby opined.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Toby tossed the shot back like it was Kool-Aid. “We have an opening for an adjunct
Professor of Jewish studies.” Josh spit out half his drink with laughter, in which Toby promptly joined.
“That would be right up my alley.” Josh joked.
“Seriously, if you’re thinking about getting out of all this permanently, you should think about
teaching. Columbia is teeming with our kind of people. You’d like it there.”
“Maybe but I don’t want to move to New York. Donna and I were talking about Connecticut once the
baby is born.”
“Your mother would be thrilled, no doubt.” Toby agreed. “But how long would it be until you went stir
crazy?”
“I’m guessing 3-6 months since I’ll have the baby to distract me for a while.” Josh admitted. “I don’t
know what’s next, Toby, I’m willing to try the plan we came up with tonight, but I can’t go back to the
White house long-term and my whole life has been about getting to the White House.”
“I know.”
“What do you do when the thing you’ve worked your whole life for doesn’t work for you anymore?”
“You take some time and re-evaluate.” Toby stated, “Seems like you’re doing that already.”
“I’m re-evaluating alright.” Josh muttered. “I never would have thought it of Bartlet. Would you?”
“No.” Toby shook his head. “He’s lucky he didn’t share it with me or I’d have raised holy hell over it.”
“The thing is… you have to wonder. If I was wrong about Jed Bartlet, what else have I been wrong
about?”
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
“Donna? What’s wrong?” Josh asked bleary eyed.
“I’m throwing up, you idiot.”
“But you weren’t even drinking last night.”
“Yeah… about that - What happened to neither of us drinking while I’m pregnant?”
“It seemed rude to refuse to have a shot with Toby.”
“A shot?”
“A couple shots?”
The thought alone made Donna’s stomach roll and caused her to throw up again.
“Jesus, Donna.” Josh woke up enough to register what was going on. “Let me get you… something.”
He moved over to the cabinet and got a washcloth that he ran under cold water and applied to the
back of Donna’s neck. “You want some water?”
Donna shook her head tiredly.
“I’ll cancel my meeting with Hoynes.” Josh offered.
“It’s just morning sickness.”
“I know, but you should not be alone.”
“I’m not alone. Toby is here.”
“That’s almost like being alone.” Josh muttered thinking his friend was not on the warm and fuzzy
side.
“You’re not using me as an excuse to put off your meeting with John Hoynes.”
Josh rubbed his face with his hands. “Are you okay to go back to bed?”
“Just let me brush my teeth.” Donna requested. Josh stayed behind her the whole time since she
seemed a little unsteady on her feet. Then he led her back to bed and went in search of Toby. He
didn’t have to look far since Toby was sitting at the kitchen table reading the morning paper with a
cup of coffee from what appeared to be a recently brewed pot.
“Morning,” He offered.
“Wow. You’ve been productive.”
“Unlike some people who’ve spent their time lazing around tropical beaches, I have been up early
teaching classes to help shape the next generation of policy makers.”
“You couldn’t sleep, huh?”
“Not a wink.” Toby admitted. His conversation with Josh had troubled him a lot. He was used to
picking the wrong guy… or the right guy at the wrong time - But Josh? Josh had always had a keen
eye for the ‘real thing’ and if Josh was questioning his judgment, then…
“Should I not have told you?” Josh asked.
“And let us find out in a newspaper article?” Toby shook his head. “I meant what I said last night. I
wish you’d have told us earlier, though I understand why you didn’t or couldn’t. We’ve all abandoned
you in one way or another; with the obvious exception of Donna.”
“Toby…”
“CJ left because, well, she had to. All of us understood that, I think. But I pushed the envelope until
Hoynes had no choice but to fire me. Sam left too, at your urging. Leo left as soon as you were able
to physically walk through the White House doors. We all left and everything fell on your shoulders.”
Toby paused. “I’m sorry about that.”
“I had choices too, Toby.” Josh pointed out.
“Yeah… sort of,” Toby pulled a face. “But with you being… you, there really wasn’t another choice
that you could live with. Having Hoynes throw the MS in your face must have been awful, but the
silver lining was that it finally gave you the permission you needed to leave. You know, just because
Hoynes isn’t the real thing, something you knew years ago by the way, doesn’t mean that Bartlet
wasn’t the real thing - Or that there aren’t other ‘real things’ out there.”
“You’ve been up all night and this is the best you can come up with?”
“It needs a little more work?”
“Just a tad, yes.”
“Fine, I just wanted to you know that I’m sorry I haven’t been around more for you.”
“I know how you can make it up to me.” Josh grinned.
“I’m required to do more than verbally apologize?”
“Not required as such.” Josh hedged. “I just thought, given the level of guilt I’m sure is assailing you
over this that you’d want to do something to make up for your absence in my stress-filled life.”
“What?” Toby asked with his eyes narrowed.
“Stay with Donna while I go meet with Hoynes.” Josh answered. “I don’t know how long I’ll be and she’
s not feeling very well. I don’t want to leave her here alone.”
“Is something wrong? Does she need to go to the doctor?”
“Morning sickness.”
“Ugh…” Toby groaned. “Okay. But you’re bringing something home for lunch.”
“Deal.”
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
When Donna wandered out to the living room a couple hours later, she felt much better and found
she was starving.
Toby’s presence in the kitchen startled her.
“Toby! Did you miss your flight?”
“Postponed it,” Toby replied shortly before finishing his typing and looking up at Donna, “You look a
little pale.”
“I’m just hungry,” Donna brushed off his concern but Toby stood and motioned for her to sit.
“I’ll get you something.” He pronounced. “What are you hungry for?”
“A PB & J sandwich,” Toby did a double take to see if she was serious. “I really want a PB & J
sandwich; with strawberry jelly.”
“Do you have that here, or do I need to make a run?”
“We have that here.” Donna informed him.
“And you’re not just saying that because you’re afraid to witness me cooking? I can cook you know.”
“I believe you. I just really want…”
“A PB & J. Got it.” Toby shook his head at her choice, but then decided to be grateful that she wasn’t
asking for a PB & J with anchovies or something disgusting like that. He went about making her the
requested sandwich. “Are you having a lot of trouble with the, you know…”
“Morning sickness?” Donna finished his sentence.
“Yeah, that.” Toby agreed.
“No. I’ve been feeling nauseous here and there but this was the first morning I actually got sick.”
Donna paused. “Is that why you delayed going back? To babysit me? Just what does Josh imagine
might happen to me if he leaves me on my own for a couple hours?”
“Oh, I’d guess he has quite an imagination where you’re concerned.” Toby leveled with her. “You’re
very precious to him. He wants to take care of you. My advice would be to sit back and enjoy it.”
“You don’t think it’s the slightest bit patronizing?” Donna asked.
“When someone takes care of you because they assume you can’t take care of yourself; that’s
patronizing. When someone takes care of you because they want do anything they can for you; that’
s love.”
Donna was suitably chastened by his analysis and remained silent until he placed the sandwich in
front of her along with a bottle of water from the fridge. When he popped the top of his laptop open,
she changed the subject.
“What are you working on?”
“Notes for a lecture on economic policy.”
“Need some help?” Donna offered and Toby saw the sparkle in her eyes over the opportunity to do
something productive.
“Sure.” Toby nodded. “I need some bullet points on the current Secretary of Commerce.”
Without another word, Donna rose and got her laptop from the other room and settled in to work next
to Toby at the table. She emailed him the results as she went along and Toby marveled again at how
fast and efficient she was.
“Donna? Are you okay with the plan we came up with last night?”
“If I wasn’t, don’t you think I would have said so?”
“Maybe, maybe not,” Toby pondered that thought. “Just because Josh doesn’t relish the idea of
working in politics anymore, that doesn’t mean you’re precluded from working in politics.”
“I want to finish school, Toby. It’s important to me.” Donna replied. “I don’t want to have to explain to
my child someday why I quit and never finished college when I believe so strongly that education is
critically important. It will only take me a couple semesters with two or three classes each semester.”
“I think that’s great.” Toby said honestly. “But there’s no reason you can’t do some political work on
the side.”
“On top of school and a new baby?” Donna smirked.
“Well, if Josh makes good on this threat to stay home with the baby…”
“Uh-huh.” Donna chuckled. “We’ll wait and see about that.”
“I just wanted you to know that you’d be a great asset in anyone’s political office and that’s separate
from your teamwork with Josh.”
“Thanks, Toby.” Donna said sincerely. “You’ve been a good friend… to both of us.”
Toby startled at her words.
“Josh does guilt very well, so I’ve learned to recognize it in others now too.” She told him. “You each
did what you needed to do, Toby. We both knew you were just a phone call away and we both knew
you’d drop everything and come if we needed you.”
“How do you know that?”
“The same way Josh knew you’d postpone your flight back to babysit his pregnant wife.” Donna
smiled. “Josh is going to be alright. We all are. We just got a little muddled there for a while. Now
we’re back on track.”