Chapter 10
When he woke the next morning, Josh wasn’t thinking about how he’d slept with
Donna, he was just enjoying the rare feeling of being well rested and calm. His brain
registered that his arms were wrapped around someone; it even recognized the
scent of that someone, but still he kept his eyes closed until he felt Donna moving.
She was trying to disentangle herself from him and he wasn’t having it. He pulled her
tighter which kept her close, but also gave away the fact the he was now awake.
“Josh, I need to get up. I have to get to the office.” She said gently and Josh sighed.
“You could quit.” He murmured.
“I don’t think my boss would like that very much.”
“Forget him; I heard he was a selfish bastard.”
“He can be, but I still wouldn’t do that to him.” Donna said clearly. “Are you okay to
stay here by yourself?”
“I’m a grown man, Donna, I can stay home by myself for a few hours.” Josh told her
and finally released her and rolled away so she couldn’t see how holding her had
affected him.
“I just meant-“
“I know what you meant.” Josh snapped. “Sorry. You should get going.”
“I’ll take a shower at my place. I need to get some fresh clothes. Is there anything
special you’d like me to bring back for lunch?”
“Just you.” Josh replied simply, but still didn’t turn to face her so he missed her shy
smile.
“I’ll see you at lunch, then. Call if you need me.” She told him before she left.
God, if he did that, he’d be calling her constantly. How did he manage to become so
dependent on her so quickly? She had become necessary for sleeping now. What
was next, breathing?
***************************************
Donna shook her head in an attempt to stay awake. C.J. noticed the movement as
she walked through the bull pen.
“You look a little tired there, Donna.”
“Just a bit.” Donna admitted ruefully.
“Want to grab some lunch later?”
“I’m bringing some lunch home for Josh.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t eat with me first.”
“If I don’t eat with him, I can’t tell if he’s eating.”
“Uh-huh. Doesn’t he have Doctors and medical professionals who can keep track of
that stuff?”
“Yes, but he lies to them.” Donna answered and tried to focus on the computer
screen.
“So on top of making sure he limits his work, gets to all his medical appointments,
takes his medication, sleeps and eats, you also need to be a lie detector for when he’
s talking to his own Doctors?”
“Well when you put it that way, it sounds pretty pathetic.” Donna admits.
“But you’re still going to eat lunch with him.”
“Yep.” Donna agreed. “It’s just until he can be on his own, C.J. It’s not forever.”
“As long as you realize that.” C.J. muttered as she walked away.
***********************
Two weeks later, their routine was unchanged except that Donna now spent most
nights in his bed. He rarely had a nightmare when she was with him, so Donna
justified it as a sort of medical treatment. Josh just looked at it as necessary. That’s
why this argument was freaking him out so much.
“I don’t understand. Explain it again.” He demanded.
“Honestly, those diplomas from Yale and Harvard are counterfeit aren’t they?”
Donna sighed again as she continued to make their dinner. “It’s not a difficult
concept, Josh. I’m moving back to my place the weekend before midterms.”
“But why then? It seems like a pretty arbitrary date if you ask me. Shouldn’t we have
some debate and maybe a vote or something?”
“This isn’t the Senate, Josh, and believe it or not I do get to make decisions about
my own life, on my own.”
“But this decision affects me too.” He whined and hated that he could hear it in his
own voice.
“Which is why I’m telling you a week ahead of time; so you’ll have time to adjust to
the idea. Although now that seems to have been a strategic flaw.” Donna muttered
the last part, but Josh still heard her.
“You can’t just leave cold turkey. I’ll have withdrawal symptoms. I can’t be having
withdrawal symptoms when I get back to work.”
“You aren’t going back to work until the week after mid-terms. You’ll have plenty of
time to get over your withdrawal.” Donna deadpanned.
“It’s a bad way to do this, Donna.”
“How would you suggest I do this then?”
“You need to leave gradually, like when you stop smoking.”
“Have you ever smoked?” Donna looked at him curiously.
“No, not really, but I’ve read things.”
“Okay.” Donna chuckled.
“My point is that it should be gradual. You’ve been staying here 7 days a week. You
could stay 6 days a week the week of mid-terms, then 5 days the next week and so
on until we get down to one day. I might be able to handle it that way.” Donna tried
not to laugh because he was looking at her so earnestly.
“I see your point, but I think this is more of a band-aid situation.”
“A band-aid situation?”
“Yes, medically speaking, it’s better just to rip the band-aid off suddenly rather than
slowly peel it off.”
“No, this isn’t a band-aid. It’s smoking.” He insisted.
“It really isn’t.” Donna countered. “Sit down and we’ll eat some dinner. You must be
hungry after therapy. Speaking of which, we got another rejection notice from your
insurance company. What kind of crummy insurance does you deadbeat employer
offer anyway?”
“You’re not going to distract me with insurance talk, Donna, although I will say again
that they’re ignorant assholes.” Josh noted. “I know. I’ll go on a hunger strike until
you agree to my smoking plan.”
“Then you’ll leave me no choice but to leave tonight.”
“But tonight is Gin Rummy night.” They’d gotten in the habit of playing Gin Runny
every Sunday night.
“Sacrifices must be made sometimes.” Donna lectured.
“Tell that to Sam.” Josh groused.
“What’s wrong with Sam?”
“The White House is pulling support from the friend of his that’s running for
Congress and he’s feeling betrayed at the moment.”
“Ouch. Not to mention he must feel like he’s betraying his friend since he’s the one
who asked Tom to run.”
“Hey, you changed the subject again.” Josh accused.
“Yes, but you’ve started eating already, so you might as well finish this meal and bulk
up to start your hunger strike tomorrow.”
“That was a very clever distraction, Donna. You’re going to make a great mother
someday.”
“If I am it will all be because of you.” Donna quipped and then realized how that must
have sounded. “I mean, because you act like a child sometimes, so I get a lot of
practice.”
Josh smirked at her Freudian slip, but wisely didn’t comment. “Uh-huh.”
Ever since she’d spent that first night in bed with him, he’d been teetering on the
brink of kissing her. He had practically become obsessed with her lips, but he really
needed her right now and he was afraid if he kissed her and screwed everything up
between them she would leave. Now it looked like she was going to be leaving
anyway.
“Just finish your chicken kabob.” Donna ordered. “And don’t think you can eat
around the vegetables.”
***********************************
Josh had watched the calendar count down to this day for the last week with all the
enthusiasm of a death row inmate waiting for their execution. Donna had been taking
a few things home with her every day so she wouldn’t have a carload of stuff tonight.
She had been planning on going home that morning after “Meet the Press” and Josh
considered it a huge testament to his persuasive skills that he’d talked her into
waiting until after dinner.
When the moment arrived for her to leave, Josh couldn’t find any words to
sufficiently convey how much he wanted her to stay.
“I’ll stop by after tomorrow night and bring you some more work so you don’t feel so
overwhelmed when you get back next week.” She was telling him.
“And you’re still coming over on election night, right?”
“All of us are.” She confirmed. “We’ll celebrate a new Congress with a Democratic
majority.”
“Jesus, Donna! Haven’t I taught you anything? You can’t go around saying stuff like
that. Now you’ve totally jinxed us.”
“You have got to be kidding.” Donna drawled. “How can you be so superstitious?
Don’t you have any faith in the work all of you have done for these mid-terms?”
“I have tremendous faith in our work, but I still don’t mess with luck by just stating
results like they’re forgone conclusions. How can anyone who it half Irish have so
little respect for luck?”
“Okay. I’m sorry.” Donna apologized, trying to keep a straight face.
“No, you have to go outside, turn around 3 times and curse.”
“Any particular curse?” She said as she picked up her last bag.
“You’re not going to do it, are you?”
“You’ll never know.” She teased.
“I will Tuesday night.” Josh vowed.
“Goodnight, Joshua.” Donna chuckled.
“Goodnight, Donnatella.” Josh returned. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.” Josh watched
until she walked out of sight, then hurried to the window to watch her get into her car
and safely drive away.
Josh seemed a little quiet Tuesday night but he kept talking about how great it was
to be outdoors, so Donna chalked it up to the fact that it was so late. He was
surrounded by his friends sitting on his front stoop and kept looking around at them
like he was taking a mental picture. Sam had stepped away to take a phone call and
C.J. was teasing him about the pajama’s she’d given him.
When Sam came back, he did not look happy. The Democrats had not taken back
Congress. Josh shot Donna a killer look.
“Don’t look at me like that, Josh Lyman. I did your whole turning and cursing thing.”
“You did not.” He accused her.
“How do you know?”
“Well there’s the obvious election results, but besides that I watched you when you
left here, and you did no turning or cursing.”
“You watched me leave?”
“Just to make sure you were safe, but it had the added benefit that I could see you
ignored my directions. Now look what you’ve done.”
“I am not responsible for the Democrats not winning back the majority.”
“Says you.” Came his clever reply. He turned to Toby, who he was sure would be an
ally on this. “She went right out and said we’d celebrate the Democrats winning the
majority last Sunday.”
“Donna, Donna, Donna.” Toby shook his head sadly. “We could have done so much
with the majority.”
“It is NOT my fault.” She insisted. “I did the turning and cursing thing when I got
home.”
“Those weren’t your instructions.” Toby replied. “You must do the turning and the
cursing where the offense occurred.”
“C.J.?” Donna asked for backup.
“Those are the rules, Donna. It’s too bad though. I was really hoping I could
announce it at my briefing tomorrow.”
“C.J.!” Donna shouted.
“Who wants to give me a ride home?” C.J. asked, turning to the guys assembled on
the steps.
Sam stood up. “We rode over together in my car, so I’ll drop you. Goodnight,
outdoorsman.” Sam gave Josh a light hug. “Goodnight traitor.” He added as he
hugged Donna.
“Sam!” Donna protested.
“Don’t worry about it, Donna.” Toby told her. “Maybe other people jinxed it too, and
you were only part of the problem rather than the single source of our losing tonight.”
“Thanks, Toby.” Donna drawled and watched as they all got in Sam’s car. She
started to gather up all their empties. “Do you need help with the steps, Josh?”
“Nah, I’m fine as long as we don’t go too fast.” He picked up a couple bottles himself
and they made their way up to his apartment.
After they placed the bottles in his recycling container, Josh offered Donna another
beer. He’d noticed that she’s nursed the same bottle all night. She reluctantly took it
from his hands acknowledging that she’d be staying at least a few minutes more.
“It’s pretty quiet around here since you left.” He began.
“I’d think you’d enjoy that.” Donna teased.
“Yeah, you would, wouldn’t you? But I don’t” Josh admitted. “I don’t like the quiet at
all.” He stared at her from across the kitchen before moving to stand next to her.
“Thanks for getting everyone to come over tonight. I know they were all tired.”
“They wanted to see you, Josh.”
“How about you? Did you want to see me?”
“Sure. You know I did.” She replied breezily. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t have come.”
“Yes, you would. You are a generous, kind person and that’s been a problem for
me.”
“It’s a problem that I’m a generous and kind person?” Donna asked
“It has been for me because it makes it hard for me to tell if you do and say what you
do and say because it’s simply in your nature to behave that way or if it’s because
you might have other feelings about me…about us.” Josh ventured.
“I guess that might make it difficult.” Donna agreed. “On the other hand, you flirt and
tease and banter so much that it might make it difficult for someone to know if it’s just
part of your nature or if you might have other feeling about me…about us.”
“I guess someone is just going to have to step up and take a chance, then.” Josh
noted.
“I guess so.” Donna agreed and watched him move closer to her like he was in slow
motion. Finally, his lips touched hers and she thought she might cry from the
tenderness and love she felt from him. Slowly he deepened the kiss, and Donna
wound her arms around him. After all this time, she thought they would have moved
much more quickly; been compelled to move much faster, but slow and languorous
was working just fine.
Josh’s hands moved up and down Donna’s back in a soothing rhythm as he explored
every part of her face and mouth with his lips and tongue. After a few minutes, he
pulled back and looked into her half-open eyes.
“Stay with me Donna.” He said intently. “I want you to stay with me. I need you to-“
Donna stopped his speech with a crushing kiss and proceeded to unbutton his
pajama top. Josh wisely took this for a ‘yes’ and began walking backwards towards
his bedroom. He couldn’t believe they were doing this. He was finally going to make
love with Donnatella Moss. Every nerve ending on his body was shooting signals to
his brain.
Donna was too busy feeling all those delicious sensations to think too much but once
the back of her knees hit Josh’s bed she woke out of her reverie.
“Wait. Are you sure we should do this?”
“Oh, I’m sure.” Josh replied and went back to unfastening her pants.
“No, I mean medically. You’re still recovering. I’m not sure you should be exerting
yourself so much.”
“So much? Just what are you planning on doing to me, Donnatella?” his mouth
quirked.
“This isn’t funny, Joshua.”
“It’s a little funny and very sweet, but I saw my Doctor on Monday. She said I could
resume all physical activities when I felt like it.” Josh pulled her closer. “Believe me
when I say I feel like it.” He smiled as he kissed her. “I feel like it a lot.”
“I can tell.” Donna replied saucily and lightly pushed him down on the bed before
joining him there.
They spent hours exploring each others bodies and talking about the roller coaster
that had been their lives over the past couple months, but the one subject they didn’t
touch on was the future. Donna was afraid of what might be said, and Josh was
afraid of scaring her off with the intensity of his feelings so soon. But they did finally
sleep, and no one had anything but pleasant dreams.
*******************************
Chapter 12
Neither Josh nor Donna wanted to say or do anything to jinx what they had going so
they tread very carefully. This isn’t to say that they didn’t spend every available
moment together. They just didn’t PLAN to spend every available moment together.
Things just happened and since they happened in a good way, neither of them
questioned it. When the phone rang Sunday morning, they were already up and
Donna was in the shower.
“Hello?” Josh answered.
“You sound unusually chipper for an early Sunday morning. Are you anxious to get
to work tomorrow?”
“That must be it.” Josh decided. “How are you Mom?”
“I think that’s my line.” She answered. “I’m doing just fine. What did the cardiologist
say on Friday?”
“Everything’s fine, Mom.”
“Everything?”
“She might have said my blood pressure could be lower. How did you know I had an
appointment with my cardiologist on Friday?”
“Not from my only son, that’s for sure.”
“Mom…”
“Donna told me when I spoke to her last week.”
“You talked to Donna last week?”
“I talk to Donna several times every week. Is that a problem?”
“No.”
“Good because I have no intention of altering that habit. She shares more than you
do.”
“I’ll bet.” Josh chuckled.
“Are you ready to get some breakfast?” Donna called from the other room, unaware
Josh was on the phone.
“Was that…Is Donna there, Josh?” His mother inquired.
“Ummm…yeah?”
“Josh, are you dressed yet for breakfast?” Donna repeated as she came into his
bedroom and saw that he was on the phone. She mouthed ‘sorry’.
“It’s Mom.” He told her. “I’d let you say ‘hi’ but I understand you’ve already had
several conversations this week.” Josh smirked.
“Don’t you give that girl a hard time, Joshua.” His mother warned. “How many
assistants do you think would come over early on a Sunday morning to see that their
boss got a decent breakfast?”
“Yeah, she’s something alright.” Josh agreed smiling. “Incredible dedication to the
job.” He kept eye contact with Donna and a smile bloomed on her face too.
“I’ll let you get to breakfast then.” Ruth allowed. “You could give me call later after
Donna leaves.”
“Well she might stay around today, since it’s Sunday you know.”
“I do know what day of the week it is, thank you.” Ruth drawled. “Joshua…Donna
moved back to her place last weekend, didn’t she?”
“Yeah…” Josh confirmed. “Packed all her stuff and everything.” It was the truth. She
had moved her stuff out, but then it seemed to be making its’ way back here piece by
piece.
“Uh-huh. It must be kind of quiet there now.” She commented.
“I guess.” Josh didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t want to lie to his mother, but
he didn’t want to have this conversation with her right now; especially with Donna
standing right in front of him.
“Uh-huh.” Ruth said again. Josh knew she was suspicious, but she didn’t say
anything else besides promising to talk later before she hung up.
“Sorry.” Donna said again.
Josh shook his head and pulled her to him so she was standing in front of where he
was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Don’t worry about it.” He kissed hands. “Are you
sure you want to go out?”
Donna tried to quell the doubt that sprung up in her head. He had been doing this all
week; asking to stay in his apartment rather than go out in public. She tried not to
read anything into it, but part of her worried that he might not want anyone to see
them together. Tired of fighting with herself, she spit out the question.
“Josh, why do you want to stay in?” Josh looked up at her puzzled.
“I would think that would be obvious.” He answered as he pulled her further, down
onto his lap and kissed her passionately.
“That’s it?” she asked when they came up for air. “That’s the only reason?”
Josh dropped his head down on Donna’s chest and blew out a breath.
“Look, I went out twice this week; once to get some food and once to pick up another
book. Both times I was practically accosted by people who wanted me to know they
prayed for me, or were disgusted by the shooting, or something like that. They
treated me like some kind of hero simply because I was in the wrong place at the
wrong time. I’m simply not comfortable with that kind of attention for that kind of
reason.”
Donna laughed at herself. Here she was worried that he didn’t want to be seen with
her, when the truth was that he simply didn’t want to be seen at all.
“You’re wrong, you know.”
“I’m sorry. Did you just say I was wrong?” Josh clarified.
“I did. History is full of heroes who were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.
And please remember that the only reason you were there at all was because you
chose to serve the President of the United States.”
“Is that so?” Josh smiled at her defense of him.
“Yes, so if this certain hero would prefer to have breakfast in, I’ll run out and bring
something back for us.”
“Thanks, but it’s probably good to get out awhile. I’ll be out all day tomorrow.” He
reminded her.
“Then let’s go.” Donna took his hand and pulled him up. She imagined this would be
a good lesson for her. When she was worried about something with them, she
needed to talk to him about it. See how well this turned out?
***************************************
Donna had first day jitters, and it wasn’t even her first day back at work. She was
concerned about how Josh would shift back into work mode; whether or not he would
meld back into the group. When he came in though, it was like he’d never left. They
did their walk and talk through the hall reviewing his schedule and she handed him
his call sheet as they entered his office. People called out ‘welcome back’ when he
was out and about, but other than that it was a typical day at the White House. The
only difference was that at the end of the day, Josh and Donna left together and
stayed together all night.
Josh seemed a little more stressed, but then Donna knew it had been a big
adjustment just being at the office all day. When you threw in the added pressure of
bill deadlines and meetings with Congressmen he hated, it was no wonder he was a
little on edge.
Some of her concern slipped on Thursday when she caught him running through the
corridors shouting for Toby to come watch Sam get his ass kicked by a girl. She
thought he was exaggerating until she joined them and watched a few minutes. As a
Democrat and a member of the Bartlet administration, she hurt for Sam, but as a
woman, she had to admit it was fun to watch Ainsley go to town on Sam. Josh was
having so much fun Donna didn’t even chastise him about the popcorn he and Toby
were chowing down.
When she picked up the phone on Friday, she was delighted to find Ruth Lyman on
the other end.
“Donna, I’m sorry to bother you.”
“It’s no bother, but I’m afraid Josh is in with Leo right now. I can have him call you
when he gets back.”
“Don’t waste your time, it’s more time efficient to talk directly to you anyway.” Ruth
laughed. “I didn’t want to interrupt your work with this though. That’s why I tried
calling you at home last night. The night before too.”
“You called my apartment? Last night?” Donna confirmed.
“I tried around 9:00, but all I could get was your machine.” Yeah, since I was busy
having amazing sex with your son at his apartment at that time, Donna thought to
herself.
“I’m sorry I missed your call…both calls.” Donna told her.
“Don’t be silly, Donna. You’re a smart, beautiful woman, and you’ve spent too much
of your free time with that crabby son of mine. I’m glad you’re getting out and
enjoying yourself.”
“Josh hasn’t been too bad lately.” Donna defended him and made Ruth smile.
“No, he really hasn’t. You know, I really thought he’d blow a gasket last week
between you moving back home and the mid-terms, but he’s been very upbeat and
chipper lately.”
“I’m sure he’s been happy about getting the green light to come back to work and
having his home to himself again.” Donna reasoned.
“I’m sure that’s it.” Ruth agreed. “Anyway, I was calling about Thanksgiving. Josh
thinks he can’t be spared from the people’s business long enough to come for
Thanksgiving dinner. He told me he has meetings scheduled for the Friday after the
Holiday and can’t re-schedule them.”
“He does have meetings, but I’m sure I can do some reshuffling.” Donna assured her.
“I would be so grateful, Donna. We have a lot to be thankful for this year and I want
to be with the one I’m thankful for.”
“Makes sense to me.” Donna agreed. “I’ll get it cleared with Leo, too.”
“You’re my hero.” Ruth gushed. “Thank you, Donna.”
“No problem. I’ll call you when I get it sorted out.” She promised before she hung up.
When Josh got back she told him about rescheduling the Friday after Thanksgiving.
“Why did you do that?”
“Your Mom wanted to spend Thanksgiving with you.”
“I can’t leave for Thanksgiving, Donna. I have been out for weeks! I need Friday to
catch up.”
“You really don’t.”
“That’s really not your decision to make, Donna. Leo will-“
“I already cleared it with Leo.” Donna argued.
“You did what?!” he shouted and had Donna jumping. “You had no right to- Just
because we’re-“ he stopped mid sentence, walked across the room and shut his
office doors. “You can’t be doing that without talking to me. Just because we have
a…personal relationship doesn’t mean you have a right to re-arrange my schedule.”
“Re-arranging your schedule has nothing to do with us having a personal
relationship. It’s exactly what I would have done 3 months ago.”
“Then maybe the conversation we should be having is about the fact that I’m the
boss and you are the assistant. The assistant does not re-arrange the schedule of
the boss without the boss’s approval. Are we clear?” Josh snapped.
“Yes, sir.” Donna gave him a clipped response. “Was that all?”
“Put the meetings back on Friday.” He ordered as he took his seat at his desk.
Donna walked out shaking and literally ran into Sam.
“Hey, watch where you’re going.” He teased then looked closer at her face. “You
okay?”
“Mmm-hmm” Donna said. “Have you recovered from your close encounter last night?”
“Ainsley Hayes got lucky.” He declared.
“Yeah, lucky she was so smart and well versed in policy.” Donna tried to misdirect
Sam.
“You’re not saying you agree with her?”
“The Sisterhood, Sam.”
“She’s a Republican! She doesn’t believe in or value the Sisterhood.” Sam argued.
Donna just shrugged. “Is he available?”
“He’s not with anyone, but you might want to give him a few minutes.” Donna
suggested.
“Is he okay?”
“A little….high strung at the moment. You should give him a few minutes.”
“Donna?” Sam’s voice was filled with another question.
“It’s been a stressful day with negotiating between President Nimbala and the drug
companies and it’s his first week back.” Donna defended Josh.
“Okay.” Sam nodded. “Let me know if it turns into…something else.”
Donna nodded and smiled.
Meanwhile, inside his office, Josh was kicking himself. There was no excuse for the
way he’d just snapped at Donna. He knew it was wrong as he was doing it. It was like
part of himself was standing outside his body just watching the train wreck and still
he couldn’t stop it. He just felt smothered.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be with Donna, he did. He’d been happier and more
relaxed in the past couple weeks than he’d been in ages. It was just that between
home and work, he felt like Donna was watching him all the time and he felt he had
to keep up his guard.
She hadn’t awakened last night when the nightmare came. Maybe she’d been
sleeping too deeply. He was pretty sure he had woken up before he had screamed,
but he hadn’t been able to get back to sleep and had spent the rest of the night on
the couch watching TV news. What if it happened again tonight and he wasn’t so
lucky. He didn’t want Donna Moss feeling bad for him or cajoling him back to sleep.
That’s not what he wanted their relationship to be.
He stayed in his office, with his door closed, for several hours. When he finally
emerged later, it was just to tell Donna that he was meeting Matt Skinner for a later
dinner.
“I’m not sure how late I’ll be, so I’ll just see you tomorrow.” He told her and she nearly
gasped. They hadn’t spent a single night apart since election night. He must be
really pissed to dismiss her that way.
“Oh, okay.” Donna choked out. “Say ‘hi’ to the Congressman for me.”
Josh walked out without even glancing back.
He didn’t call all weekend. Donna tried not to read anything into it. When she came
in to work early on Monday, just past 6:30, he was already at his desk and had a pile
of things for her to do on hers.
“Were you here all weekend?” She asked.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“You should have called me. I could have come in and helped.” She noted.
“I was fine.”
“You really shouldn’t overdo it just as you’re starting back.” She added.
“I think I’m the best judge of whether or not I’m overdoing it.” He said snippily.
“I’m sorry about last week. The Thanksgiving thing. I can see why you might not have
appreciated-“
“It’s not a big deal.” Josh interrupted. “Can you set something up with Royce for later
today?”
“Sure.” Donna turned to go. “Did you hear the President hired Ainsley Hayes to work
in the counsel’s office?”
“Yeah. Sam’s going to have kittens.” Josh joked and Donna felt better for a minute.
“I’ll go get Royce for you.”
“Thanks.” Josh told her and that one word went a long way towards making Donna
feel better. He was just stressed, that’s all.
At the end of the day, Donna checked in with him to see if he was ready to go home.
“No, I’ve got another hour here, you can go home though.” He told her. Her head
dropped in disappointment and for once Josh was clued in enough to notice it.
“If it’s okay, I thought I’d come over to your place when I’m done.” He ventured.
“Sure. Whenever you’re done.” Donna quickly agreed.
Josh appeared just as he’d promised. He’d barely gotten through the door before he
was kissing her and undressing her. They made love twice before falling asleep in
each other’s arms, but when Donna woke up cold at 3 AM, Josh was gone.
******************************
Sam was prattling on about how Joyce and Brookline stepped way over the line and
he’d had to fire them. Fine. But then he went into some harebrained scheme for a
surprise welcoming party for Hayes and Josh was about to lose it.
“Whatever Sam.” Josh broke in. “Just tell Donna where I need to be and when.”
Sam did a double take. Josh had been short with him all week. He wondered if
something happened between Josh and Donna, but didn’t want to pry in their new
relationship.
“What’s going on, Josh?”
“Leo, who has made some kind of evil pact with my mother, is forcing me to take
Thanksgiving off. Can you believe that? Like I’m some wayward 5 year old.”
“He’s probably just looking out for you, Josh.” Sam consoled him.
“I don’t need Leo looking out for me, Sam. I don’t need anyone looking out for me.”
“Obviously.” Sam said sarcastically.
“What does that mean?”
“Just that you seem to be burning the candle at both ends and I doubt that’s what
your body, which is still healing from an assault of hot lead, really needs right now.”
Josh flinched at the words ‘hot lead’ but otherwise did not react. He had heard
enough of this shit from Donna. He could take care of himself.
”Well the Lyman babysitting club can take a break, because I am being forced,
against my will, to spend the entire weekend with my Mom.”
“Your Mom is great, Josh. And she’ll be thrilled to have that time alone with you.”
“That’s not the point! People keep making decision about my life without consulting
me.”
“It’s just one weekend, Josh. Take the break. It will make everyone feel better; maybe
even you.” Sam added as he left Josh alone with his foul mood.
*******************************************
“What do you mean we’re going to Wisconsin for Thanksgiving?” Josh asked his
mother.
“Donna’s parents invited us and since it’s only the two of us I thought it would be
nice-“
“Mom! It’s bad enough that you went to Leo behind my back to organize this
vacation, how can you just unilaterally decide we’re going to spend Thanksgiving
with the Moss family. Do you know they’re Republicans?”
”They’re perfectly nice people Joshua; Republicans or not.”
“How would you know? You’ve never even met them.”
“I’ve talked to them several times. Anna and I really hit it off.”
“Mom, I really don’t think it’s a good idea-“
“Listen Joshua, I don’t pretend to understand how that complicated brain of yours
works or why you haven’t seen fit to tell me about you and Donna, but-“
“Me and Donna?!”
“Donna talks to her mother every week.” Ruth said simply.
“I don’t know what she’s saying to her mother, or what her mother is saying to you,
but it’s not that big a deal. Certainly nothing that warrants our families spending a
holiday together.”
“It’s not a betrothal ceremony, Joshua. We have all been through quite a lot this year
and we’d like to celebrate our Thanksgiving together. Anna says they have plenty of
room.”
“No, no, no.” Josh put his foot down. “IF we go, I am not staying at their house.”
“Fine. I’ll ask Anna to find a local hotel for us. If we leave Wednesday night, we-“
“I can’t possibly leave Wednesday night. Thursday morning is the earliest I could go.”
Ruth sighed and decided to let her son win this battle as long as she won the war.
“Thursday morning it is.” Ruth agreed and hung up. Josh went out in search of
Donna. Things were so up and down with them lately. Sometimes, things seemed to
be hitting on all cylinders, and other times it was just one miss after another.
When they did spend the night together, Josh made sure it was at her place, so he
could leave when he needed to. He found her in Toby’s office arguing some policy
point with him and for a second his heart just stopped. She was so beautiful; smart
and funny too. What the hell was she doing with him?
“Hey, Toby. Donna, I need you for a sec.” Josh waited for her to walk to the doorway
before proceeding out into the hall. “Did you have something to do with this
Thanksgiving deal?”
“The Friday meetings?” Donna asked puzzled. “Leo ordered me to reschedule them
Josh, I told you that.”
“Not the Friday- The family dinner thing…on Thanksgiving…at your family’s house.”
“Excuse me?” She looked confused by the reference, but Donna could be a good
actress.
“The invitation your parents extended to my mother and me to spend Thanksgiving
in Wisconsin.” Donna blinked.
“This is the first I’ve heard about it. Are you coming?”
“Apparently.” Josh drawled.
“That’s great!” Donna enthused. She had been more than a little sad that they’d be
apart for the holiday, but hadn’t voiced anything because she hadn’t wanted to upset
the delicate truce they’d established.
“Yeah, great.” He said sarcastically. “You’d better find a flight for me Thursday
morning.”
In days gone by, Donna would have teased that getting holiday travel tickets was not
in her job description, but today she merely nodded her head and got online.
************************************************
For days after that things went along smoothly and Donna began to believe Josh
was over the worst of whatever it was he was dealing with. He even kept his cool
while debating the Marriage Recognition Act with Matt Skinner. Of course the
stunning red dress she wore while waiting for them to finish might have sped things
up a bit. Josh had promised her a nice dinner out when he was done with Matt, so
she had dressed accordingly.
Judging by the look in his eyes when he saw her in it, he liked her in the dress.
Judging by the amount of time it took him to get her out of it once they were back at
her apartment, he liked her out of the dress too.
He still snapped at people, Donna included, on occasion, but it happened less
frequently than when he first came back from his medical leave.
He teased Sam about having a crush on Ainsley. He groused about the Presidential
trivia mixed in with poker. He was even making lists of cheesehead jokes to bring
along on Thanksgiving. Donna became more optimistic every day.
Then the week of Thanksgiving arrived. Josh, Sam, and Toby stuck the turkeys
being considered for Presidential pardon in C.J.’s office after she left for the night.
Technically, as a member of the Sisterhood, Donna should have called C.J. to warn
her, or at least gotten rid of the turkey’s, but she had so enjoyed the camaraderie of
the guys working together to irk C.J. she couldn’t do either.
For his part, Josh was feeling pretty good. The dreams were coming less frequently
even though they’d branched out into different events in his life; the fire that took his
sister’s life, his father’s death, even visions of his Grandparents in a concentration
camp. He’d even felt secure enough to spend the entire night with Donna twice that
week.
He had been a little concerned that people in the West Wing, and in Congress,
would find out the extent of his relationship with Donna and try to make political hay
out of it. Fortunately, they had always had an unconventional relationship, and no
one batted an eye when they left together or arrived at the same time. Sam knew.
Josh could tell by the way he sometimes caught Sam looking at them. C.J. seemed to
suspect, but preferred not to have anything confirmed in her presence. They kept
things strictly professional in the office; or as professional as they had ever been in
the office.
So, with a great week behind them, they got on an early plane to Wisconsin where
they would meet up with Ruth.
“Put the paper away, Joshua.” Donna warned him.
“Try and get it away from me, Donnatella.” He teased and waved the paper in the air
above his head.
“Would you please pretend you’re a grown up?” Donna pleaded. “Put the paper
away.”
“I can’t. What if I need to tell a cheesehead joke to break the ice right away? I need
to keep the paper handy.”
“Dear. God.” As much as Donna loved to see Josh light hearted and teasing, he
could be completely exhausting when he was in this kind of mood. He did look good
today, though. He was dressed casually in jeans, a black t-shirt and a corduroy
jacket. Thanksgiving with the Moss family, she had told him, was casual.
She had tried once more before they left D.C., to persuade him to stay with the
family; with her, but he wouldn’t have it. Donna suspected it had more to do with the
occasionally nightmares he still experienced than anything else, so she let it go.
Josh was surprisingly genial with all of Donna’s family and they had a wonderful meal
together. Anna and Ruth were like two peas in a pod and that warmed Donna’s heart
too. Everything was fine until the day drifted into night and the family gathered in the
living room. Josh gave in to his exhausted body and laid his head on Donna’s lap to
take a nap. Both mother’s noted the posture and shared satisfied smiles.
The next thing he knew, there was gunfire and he was shouting for help. Donna’s
family looked on in stunned shock as he thrashed in remembered pain and Donna
spoke quietly in his ear trying to bring him back to the present. When she finally
accomplished this task, Josh was breathing hard and wanted to die of
embarrassment as he took in the faces staring at him from around the room.
“Come with me, we’ll get you some water.” Donna pulled him off the couch and into
the kitchen with her.
“I’m sorry, Donna.” Josh said sitting down at the kitchen table, his head in his hands.
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t give any thought to the gunfire in the movie they put on after
you fell asleep. It was my fault.” Donna was quick to tell him.
“God, could I have looked any more like an idiot?” Josh asked.
“Would you stop?” Donna handed him the water and rubbed his back. “There isn’t a
soul here, or anywhere else for that matter, who doesn’t understand what you went
through.”
“Nobody understands what I went through, Donna.” Josh lashed out. “Jesus, I’m so
sick of people saying they understand how hard it must be, how awful it must have
been. They don’t!”
“No, of course not.” Donna confirmed, but that just set Josh off further.
“And then they try to mollify me, just like you’re doing now. Everybody has to walk on
egg shells around Josh, otherwise he might crack, right?”
“No. That isn’t-“
“I don’t know what I was thinking coming here. It was a huge mistake.”
“It was not. I am so glad that you and Ruth came for the weekend.” Donna protested.
“I honestly don’t know why, Donna.” Josh said sadly. “I honestly don’t.” He rose from
the table and grabbed his rental car keys from the counter. “I need to go back to the
hotel. I need some space. Tell your family I got sick or something. I’m sure they’d
believe that.”
“Let me get my coat and purse and I’ll come with you.” Donna offered.
“I really can’t get some space if you’re in it, can I?” Josh replied.
“I won’t bother you. I can stay in Ruth’s room next door. I just want to be close in
case you need someone or something.”
“Are you afraid to leave me alone, Donna?” Josh asked looking at her critically.
“Seriously? You’re afraid I’ll do something stupid?”
“I just want to be with you.” Donna replied simply.
“Being a seasoned political operative, I can tell you that I noticed you didn’t answer
the question. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Josh said looking disappointed in her. The back
door slammed behind him. Within seconds, Anna Moss appeared in the kitchen.
“Is Josh okay?” she asked in concern.
“He’s pretty shaken up, Mom.” Donna admitted. “The nightmares really send him
over the edge sometimes. He just needs a little time alone to get his bearings.”
“Are you okay, Donnatella?” her mom asked shrewdly.
“No, Mom, I’m really not.” Donna shared and was immediately enveloped in a hug.
When he woke the next morning, Josh wasn’t thinking about how he’d slept with
Donna, he was just enjoying the rare feeling of being well rested and calm. His brain
registered that his arms were wrapped around someone; it even recognized the
scent of that someone, but still he kept his eyes closed until he felt Donna moving.
She was trying to disentangle herself from him and he wasn’t having it. He pulled her
tighter which kept her close, but also gave away the fact the he was now awake.
“Josh, I need to get up. I have to get to the office.” She said gently and Josh sighed.
“You could quit.” He murmured.
“I don’t think my boss would like that very much.”
“Forget him; I heard he was a selfish bastard.”
“He can be, but I still wouldn’t do that to him.” Donna said clearly. “Are you okay to
stay here by yourself?”
“I’m a grown man, Donna, I can stay home by myself for a few hours.” Josh told her
and finally released her and rolled away so she couldn’t see how holding her had
affected him.
“I just meant-“
“I know what you meant.” Josh snapped. “Sorry. You should get going.”
“I’ll take a shower at my place. I need to get some fresh clothes. Is there anything
special you’d like me to bring back for lunch?”
“Just you.” Josh replied simply, but still didn’t turn to face her so he missed her shy
smile.
“I’ll see you at lunch, then. Call if you need me.” She told him before she left.
God, if he did that, he’d be calling her constantly. How did he manage to become so
dependent on her so quickly? She had become necessary for sleeping now. What
was next, breathing?
***************************************
Donna shook her head in an attempt to stay awake. C.J. noticed the movement as
she walked through the bull pen.
“You look a little tired there, Donna.”
“Just a bit.” Donna admitted ruefully.
“Want to grab some lunch later?”
“I’m bringing some lunch home for Josh.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t eat with me first.”
“If I don’t eat with him, I can’t tell if he’s eating.”
“Uh-huh. Doesn’t he have Doctors and medical professionals who can keep track of
that stuff?”
“Yes, but he lies to them.” Donna answered and tried to focus on the computer
screen.
“So on top of making sure he limits his work, gets to all his medical appointments,
takes his medication, sleeps and eats, you also need to be a lie detector for when he’
s talking to his own Doctors?”
“Well when you put it that way, it sounds pretty pathetic.” Donna admits.
“But you’re still going to eat lunch with him.”
“Yep.” Donna agreed. “It’s just until he can be on his own, C.J. It’s not forever.”
“As long as you realize that.” C.J. muttered as she walked away.
***********************
Two weeks later, their routine was unchanged except that Donna now spent most
nights in his bed. He rarely had a nightmare when she was with him, so Donna
justified it as a sort of medical treatment. Josh just looked at it as necessary. That’s
why this argument was freaking him out so much.
“I don’t understand. Explain it again.” He demanded.
“Honestly, those diplomas from Yale and Harvard are counterfeit aren’t they?”
Donna sighed again as she continued to make their dinner. “It’s not a difficult
concept, Josh. I’m moving back to my place the weekend before midterms.”
“But why then? It seems like a pretty arbitrary date if you ask me. Shouldn’t we have
some debate and maybe a vote or something?”
“This isn’t the Senate, Josh, and believe it or not I do get to make decisions about
my own life, on my own.”
“But this decision affects me too.” He whined and hated that he could hear it in his
own voice.
“Which is why I’m telling you a week ahead of time; so you’ll have time to adjust to
the idea. Although now that seems to have been a strategic flaw.” Donna muttered
the last part, but Josh still heard her.
“You can’t just leave cold turkey. I’ll have withdrawal symptoms. I can’t be having
withdrawal symptoms when I get back to work.”
“You aren’t going back to work until the week after mid-terms. You’ll have plenty of
time to get over your withdrawal.” Donna deadpanned.
“It’s a bad way to do this, Donna.”
“How would you suggest I do this then?”
“You need to leave gradually, like when you stop smoking.”
“Have you ever smoked?” Donna looked at him curiously.
“No, not really, but I’ve read things.”
“Okay.” Donna chuckled.
“My point is that it should be gradual. You’ve been staying here 7 days a week. You
could stay 6 days a week the week of mid-terms, then 5 days the next week and so
on until we get down to one day. I might be able to handle it that way.” Donna tried
not to laugh because he was looking at her so earnestly.
“I see your point, but I think this is more of a band-aid situation.”
“A band-aid situation?”
“Yes, medically speaking, it’s better just to rip the band-aid off suddenly rather than
slowly peel it off.”
“No, this isn’t a band-aid. It’s smoking.” He insisted.
“It really isn’t.” Donna countered. “Sit down and we’ll eat some dinner. You must be
hungry after therapy. Speaking of which, we got another rejection notice from your
insurance company. What kind of crummy insurance does you deadbeat employer
offer anyway?”
“You’re not going to distract me with insurance talk, Donna, although I will say again
that they’re ignorant assholes.” Josh noted. “I know. I’ll go on a hunger strike until
you agree to my smoking plan.”
“Then you’ll leave me no choice but to leave tonight.”
“But tonight is Gin Rummy night.” They’d gotten in the habit of playing Gin Runny
every Sunday night.
“Sacrifices must be made sometimes.” Donna lectured.
“Tell that to Sam.” Josh groused.
“What’s wrong with Sam?”
“The White House is pulling support from the friend of his that’s running for
Congress and he’s feeling betrayed at the moment.”
“Ouch. Not to mention he must feel like he’s betraying his friend since he’s the one
who asked Tom to run.”
“Hey, you changed the subject again.” Josh accused.
“Yes, but you’ve started eating already, so you might as well finish this meal and bulk
up to start your hunger strike tomorrow.”
“That was a very clever distraction, Donna. You’re going to make a great mother
someday.”
“If I am it will all be because of you.” Donna quipped and then realized how that must
have sounded. “I mean, because you act like a child sometimes, so I get a lot of
practice.”
Josh smirked at her Freudian slip, but wisely didn’t comment. “Uh-huh.”
Ever since she’d spent that first night in bed with him, he’d been teetering on the
brink of kissing her. He had practically become obsessed with her lips, but he really
needed her right now and he was afraid if he kissed her and screwed everything up
between them she would leave. Now it looked like she was going to be leaving
anyway.
“Just finish your chicken kabob.” Donna ordered. “And don’t think you can eat
around the vegetables.”
***********************************
Josh had watched the calendar count down to this day for the last week with all the
enthusiasm of a death row inmate waiting for their execution. Donna had been taking
a few things home with her every day so she wouldn’t have a carload of stuff tonight.
She had been planning on going home that morning after “Meet the Press” and Josh
considered it a huge testament to his persuasive skills that he’d talked her into
waiting until after dinner.
When the moment arrived for her to leave, Josh couldn’t find any words to
sufficiently convey how much he wanted her to stay.
“I’ll stop by after tomorrow night and bring you some more work so you don’t feel so
overwhelmed when you get back next week.” She was telling him.
“And you’re still coming over on election night, right?”
“All of us are.” She confirmed. “We’ll celebrate a new Congress with a Democratic
majority.”
“Jesus, Donna! Haven’t I taught you anything? You can’t go around saying stuff like
that. Now you’ve totally jinxed us.”
“You have got to be kidding.” Donna drawled. “How can you be so superstitious?
Don’t you have any faith in the work all of you have done for these mid-terms?”
“I have tremendous faith in our work, but I still don’t mess with luck by just stating
results like they’re forgone conclusions. How can anyone who it half Irish have so
little respect for luck?”
“Okay. I’m sorry.” Donna apologized, trying to keep a straight face.
“No, you have to go outside, turn around 3 times and curse.”
“Any particular curse?” She said as she picked up her last bag.
“You’re not going to do it, are you?”
“You’ll never know.” She teased.
“I will Tuesday night.” Josh vowed.
“Goodnight, Joshua.” Donna chuckled.
“Goodnight, Donnatella.” Josh returned. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.” Josh watched
until she walked out of sight, then hurried to the window to watch her get into her car
and safely drive away.
Josh seemed a little quiet Tuesday night but he kept talking about how great it was
to be outdoors, so Donna chalked it up to the fact that it was so late. He was
surrounded by his friends sitting on his front stoop and kept looking around at them
like he was taking a mental picture. Sam had stepped away to take a phone call and
C.J. was teasing him about the pajama’s she’d given him.
When Sam came back, he did not look happy. The Democrats had not taken back
Congress. Josh shot Donna a killer look.
“Don’t look at me like that, Josh Lyman. I did your whole turning and cursing thing.”
“You did not.” He accused her.
“How do you know?”
“Well there’s the obvious election results, but besides that I watched you when you
left here, and you did no turning or cursing.”
“You watched me leave?”
“Just to make sure you were safe, but it had the added benefit that I could see you
ignored my directions. Now look what you’ve done.”
“I am not responsible for the Democrats not winning back the majority.”
“Says you.” Came his clever reply. He turned to Toby, who he was sure would be an
ally on this. “She went right out and said we’d celebrate the Democrats winning the
majority last Sunday.”
“Donna, Donna, Donna.” Toby shook his head sadly. “We could have done so much
with the majority.”
“It is NOT my fault.” She insisted. “I did the turning and cursing thing when I got
home.”
“Those weren’t your instructions.” Toby replied. “You must do the turning and the
cursing where the offense occurred.”
“C.J.?” Donna asked for backup.
“Those are the rules, Donna. It’s too bad though. I was really hoping I could
announce it at my briefing tomorrow.”
“C.J.!” Donna shouted.
“Who wants to give me a ride home?” C.J. asked, turning to the guys assembled on
the steps.
Sam stood up. “We rode over together in my car, so I’ll drop you. Goodnight,
outdoorsman.” Sam gave Josh a light hug. “Goodnight traitor.” He added as he
hugged Donna.
“Sam!” Donna protested.
“Don’t worry about it, Donna.” Toby told her. “Maybe other people jinxed it too, and
you were only part of the problem rather than the single source of our losing tonight.”
“Thanks, Toby.” Donna drawled and watched as they all got in Sam’s car. She
started to gather up all their empties. “Do you need help with the steps, Josh?”
“Nah, I’m fine as long as we don’t go too fast.” He picked up a couple bottles himself
and they made their way up to his apartment.
After they placed the bottles in his recycling container, Josh offered Donna another
beer. He’d noticed that she’s nursed the same bottle all night. She reluctantly took it
from his hands acknowledging that she’d be staying at least a few minutes more.
“It’s pretty quiet around here since you left.” He began.
“I’d think you’d enjoy that.” Donna teased.
“Yeah, you would, wouldn’t you? But I don’t” Josh admitted. “I don’t like the quiet at
all.” He stared at her from across the kitchen before moving to stand next to her.
“Thanks for getting everyone to come over tonight. I know they were all tired.”
“They wanted to see you, Josh.”
“How about you? Did you want to see me?”
“Sure. You know I did.” She replied breezily. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t have come.”
“Yes, you would. You are a generous, kind person and that’s been a problem for
me.”
“It’s a problem that I’m a generous and kind person?” Donna asked
“It has been for me because it makes it hard for me to tell if you do and say what you
do and say because it’s simply in your nature to behave that way or if it’s because
you might have other feelings about me…about us.” Josh ventured.
“I guess that might make it difficult.” Donna agreed. “On the other hand, you flirt and
tease and banter so much that it might make it difficult for someone to know if it’s just
part of your nature or if you might have other feeling about me…about us.”
“I guess someone is just going to have to step up and take a chance, then.” Josh
noted.
“I guess so.” Donna agreed and watched him move closer to her like he was in slow
motion. Finally, his lips touched hers and she thought she might cry from the
tenderness and love she felt from him. Slowly he deepened the kiss, and Donna
wound her arms around him. After all this time, she thought they would have moved
much more quickly; been compelled to move much faster, but slow and languorous
was working just fine.
Josh’s hands moved up and down Donna’s back in a soothing rhythm as he explored
every part of her face and mouth with his lips and tongue. After a few minutes, he
pulled back and looked into her half-open eyes.
“Stay with me Donna.” He said intently. “I want you to stay with me. I need you to-“
Donna stopped his speech with a crushing kiss and proceeded to unbutton his
pajama top. Josh wisely took this for a ‘yes’ and began walking backwards towards
his bedroom. He couldn’t believe they were doing this. He was finally going to make
love with Donnatella Moss. Every nerve ending on his body was shooting signals to
his brain.
Donna was too busy feeling all those delicious sensations to think too much but once
the back of her knees hit Josh’s bed she woke out of her reverie.
“Wait. Are you sure we should do this?”
“Oh, I’m sure.” Josh replied and went back to unfastening her pants.
“No, I mean medically. You’re still recovering. I’m not sure you should be exerting
yourself so much.”
“So much? Just what are you planning on doing to me, Donnatella?” his mouth
quirked.
“This isn’t funny, Joshua.”
“It’s a little funny and very sweet, but I saw my Doctor on Monday. She said I could
resume all physical activities when I felt like it.” Josh pulled her closer. “Believe me
when I say I feel like it.” He smiled as he kissed her. “I feel like it a lot.”
“I can tell.” Donna replied saucily and lightly pushed him down on the bed before
joining him there.
They spent hours exploring each others bodies and talking about the roller coaster
that had been their lives over the past couple months, but the one subject they didn’t
touch on was the future. Donna was afraid of what might be said, and Josh was
afraid of scaring her off with the intensity of his feelings so soon. But they did finally
sleep, and no one had anything but pleasant dreams.
*******************************
Chapter 12
Neither Josh nor Donna wanted to say or do anything to jinx what they had going so
they tread very carefully. This isn’t to say that they didn’t spend every available
moment together. They just didn’t PLAN to spend every available moment together.
Things just happened and since they happened in a good way, neither of them
questioned it. When the phone rang Sunday morning, they were already up and
Donna was in the shower.
“Hello?” Josh answered.
“You sound unusually chipper for an early Sunday morning. Are you anxious to get
to work tomorrow?”
“That must be it.” Josh decided. “How are you Mom?”
“I think that’s my line.” She answered. “I’m doing just fine. What did the cardiologist
say on Friday?”
“Everything’s fine, Mom.”
“Everything?”
“She might have said my blood pressure could be lower. How did you know I had an
appointment with my cardiologist on Friday?”
“Not from my only son, that’s for sure.”
“Mom…”
“Donna told me when I spoke to her last week.”
“You talked to Donna last week?”
“I talk to Donna several times every week. Is that a problem?”
“No.”
“Good because I have no intention of altering that habit. She shares more than you
do.”
“I’ll bet.” Josh chuckled.
“Are you ready to get some breakfast?” Donna called from the other room, unaware
Josh was on the phone.
“Was that…Is Donna there, Josh?” His mother inquired.
“Ummm…yeah?”
“Josh, are you dressed yet for breakfast?” Donna repeated as she came into his
bedroom and saw that he was on the phone. She mouthed ‘sorry’.
“It’s Mom.” He told her. “I’d let you say ‘hi’ but I understand you’ve already had
several conversations this week.” Josh smirked.
“Don’t you give that girl a hard time, Joshua.” His mother warned. “How many
assistants do you think would come over early on a Sunday morning to see that their
boss got a decent breakfast?”
“Yeah, she’s something alright.” Josh agreed smiling. “Incredible dedication to the
job.” He kept eye contact with Donna and a smile bloomed on her face too.
“I’ll let you get to breakfast then.” Ruth allowed. “You could give me call later after
Donna leaves.”
“Well she might stay around today, since it’s Sunday you know.”
“I do know what day of the week it is, thank you.” Ruth drawled. “Joshua…Donna
moved back to her place last weekend, didn’t she?”
“Yeah…” Josh confirmed. “Packed all her stuff and everything.” It was the truth. She
had moved her stuff out, but then it seemed to be making its’ way back here piece by
piece.
“Uh-huh. It must be kind of quiet there now.” She commented.
“I guess.” Josh didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t want to lie to his mother, but
he didn’t want to have this conversation with her right now; especially with Donna
standing right in front of him.
“Uh-huh.” Ruth said again. Josh knew she was suspicious, but she didn’t say
anything else besides promising to talk later before she hung up.
“Sorry.” Donna said again.
Josh shook his head and pulled her to him so she was standing in front of where he
was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Don’t worry about it.” He kissed hands. “Are you
sure you want to go out?”
Donna tried to quell the doubt that sprung up in her head. He had been doing this all
week; asking to stay in his apartment rather than go out in public. She tried not to
read anything into it, but part of her worried that he might not want anyone to see
them together. Tired of fighting with herself, she spit out the question.
“Josh, why do you want to stay in?” Josh looked up at her puzzled.
“I would think that would be obvious.” He answered as he pulled her further, down
onto his lap and kissed her passionately.
“That’s it?” she asked when they came up for air. “That’s the only reason?”
Josh dropped his head down on Donna’s chest and blew out a breath.
“Look, I went out twice this week; once to get some food and once to pick up another
book. Both times I was practically accosted by people who wanted me to know they
prayed for me, or were disgusted by the shooting, or something like that. They
treated me like some kind of hero simply because I was in the wrong place at the
wrong time. I’m simply not comfortable with that kind of attention for that kind of
reason.”
Donna laughed at herself. Here she was worried that he didn’t want to be seen with
her, when the truth was that he simply didn’t want to be seen at all.
“You’re wrong, you know.”
“I’m sorry. Did you just say I was wrong?” Josh clarified.
“I did. History is full of heroes who were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.
And please remember that the only reason you were there at all was because you
chose to serve the President of the United States.”
“Is that so?” Josh smiled at her defense of him.
“Yes, so if this certain hero would prefer to have breakfast in, I’ll run out and bring
something back for us.”
“Thanks, but it’s probably good to get out awhile. I’ll be out all day tomorrow.” He
reminded her.
“Then let’s go.” Donna took his hand and pulled him up. She imagined this would be
a good lesson for her. When she was worried about something with them, she
needed to talk to him about it. See how well this turned out?
***************************************
Donna had first day jitters, and it wasn’t even her first day back at work. She was
concerned about how Josh would shift back into work mode; whether or not he would
meld back into the group. When he came in though, it was like he’d never left. They
did their walk and talk through the hall reviewing his schedule and she handed him
his call sheet as they entered his office. People called out ‘welcome back’ when he
was out and about, but other than that it was a typical day at the White House. The
only difference was that at the end of the day, Josh and Donna left together and
stayed together all night.
Josh seemed a little more stressed, but then Donna knew it had been a big
adjustment just being at the office all day. When you threw in the added pressure of
bill deadlines and meetings with Congressmen he hated, it was no wonder he was a
little on edge.
Some of her concern slipped on Thursday when she caught him running through the
corridors shouting for Toby to come watch Sam get his ass kicked by a girl. She
thought he was exaggerating until she joined them and watched a few minutes. As a
Democrat and a member of the Bartlet administration, she hurt for Sam, but as a
woman, she had to admit it was fun to watch Ainsley go to town on Sam. Josh was
having so much fun Donna didn’t even chastise him about the popcorn he and Toby
were chowing down.
When she picked up the phone on Friday, she was delighted to find Ruth Lyman on
the other end.
“Donna, I’m sorry to bother you.”
“It’s no bother, but I’m afraid Josh is in with Leo right now. I can have him call you
when he gets back.”
“Don’t waste your time, it’s more time efficient to talk directly to you anyway.” Ruth
laughed. “I didn’t want to interrupt your work with this though. That’s why I tried
calling you at home last night. The night before too.”
“You called my apartment? Last night?” Donna confirmed.
“I tried around 9:00, but all I could get was your machine.” Yeah, since I was busy
having amazing sex with your son at his apartment at that time, Donna thought to
herself.
“I’m sorry I missed your call…both calls.” Donna told her.
“Don’t be silly, Donna. You’re a smart, beautiful woman, and you’ve spent too much
of your free time with that crabby son of mine. I’m glad you’re getting out and
enjoying yourself.”
“Josh hasn’t been too bad lately.” Donna defended him and made Ruth smile.
“No, he really hasn’t. You know, I really thought he’d blow a gasket last week
between you moving back home and the mid-terms, but he’s been very upbeat and
chipper lately.”
“I’m sure he’s been happy about getting the green light to come back to work and
having his home to himself again.” Donna reasoned.
“I’m sure that’s it.” Ruth agreed. “Anyway, I was calling about Thanksgiving. Josh
thinks he can’t be spared from the people’s business long enough to come for
Thanksgiving dinner. He told me he has meetings scheduled for the Friday after the
Holiday and can’t re-schedule them.”
“He does have meetings, but I’m sure I can do some reshuffling.” Donna assured her.
“I would be so grateful, Donna. We have a lot to be thankful for this year and I want
to be with the one I’m thankful for.”
“Makes sense to me.” Donna agreed. “I’ll get it cleared with Leo, too.”
“You’re my hero.” Ruth gushed. “Thank you, Donna.”
“No problem. I’ll call you when I get it sorted out.” She promised before she hung up.
When Josh got back she told him about rescheduling the Friday after Thanksgiving.
“Why did you do that?”
“Your Mom wanted to spend Thanksgiving with you.”
“I can’t leave for Thanksgiving, Donna. I have been out for weeks! I need Friday to
catch up.”
“You really don’t.”
“That’s really not your decision to make, Donna. Leo will-“
“I already cleared it with Leo.” Donna argued.
“You did what?!” he shouted and had Donna jumping. “You had no right to- Just
because we’re-“ he stopped mid sentence, walked across the room and shut his
office doors. “You can’t be doing that without talking to me. Just because we have
a…personal relationship doesn’t mean you have a right to re-arrange my schedule.”
“Re-arranging your schedule has nothing to do with us having a personal
relationship. It’s exactly what I would have done 3 months ago.”
“Then maybe the conversation we should be having is about the fact that I’m the
boss and you are the assistant. The assistant does not re-arrange the schedule of
the boss without the boss’s approval. Are we clear?” Josh snapped.
“Yes, sir.” Donna gave him a clipped response. “Was that all?”
“Put the meetings back on Friday.” He ordered as he took his seat at his desk.
Donna walked out shaking and literally ran into Sam.
“Hey, watch where you’re going.” He teased then looked closer at her face. “You
okay?”
“Mmm-hmm” Donna said. “Have you recovered from your close encounter last night?”
“Ainsley Hayes got lucky.” He declared.
“Yeah, lucky she was so smart and well versed in policy.” Donna tried to misdirect
Sam.
“You’re not saying you agree with her?”
“The Sisterhood, Sam.”
“She’s a Republican! She doesn’t believe in or value the Sisterhood.” Sam argued.
Donna just shrugged. “Is he available?”
“He’s not with anyone, but you might want to give him a few minutes.” Donna
suggested.
“Is he okay?”
“A little….high strung at the moment. You should give him a few minutes.”
“Donna?” Sam’s voice was filled with another question.
“It’s been a stressful day with negotiating between President Nimbala and the drug
companies and it’s his first week back.” Donna defended Josh.
“Okay.” Sam nodded. “Let me know if it turns into…something else.”
Donna nodded and smiled.
Meanwhile, inside his office, Josh was kicking himself. There was no excuse for the
way he’d just snapped at Donna. He knew it was wrong as he was doing it. It was like
part of himself was standing outside his body just watching the train wreck and still
he couldn’t stop it. He just felt smothered.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be with Donna, he did. He’d been happier and more
relaxed in the past couple weeks than he’d been in ages. It was just that between
home and work, he felt like Donna was watching him all the time and he felt he had
to keep up his guard.
She hadn’t awakened last night when the nightmare came. Maybe she’d been
sleeping too deeply. He was pretty sure he had woken up before he had screamed,
but he hadn’t been able to get back to sleep and had spent the rest of the night on
the couch watching TV news. What if it happened again tonight and he wasn’t so
lucky. He didn’t want Donna Moss feeling bad for him or cajoling him back to sleep.
That’s not what he wanted their relationship to be.
He stayed in his office, with his door closed, for several hours. When he finally
emerged later, it was just to tell Donna that he was meeting Matt Skinner for a later
dinner.
“I’m not sure how late I’ll be, so I’ll just see you tomorrow.” He told her and she nearly
gasped. They hadn’t spent a single night apart since election night. He must be
really pissed to dismiss her that way.
“Oh, okay.” Donna choked out. “Say ‘hi’ to the Congressman for me.”
Josh walked out without even glancing back.
He didn’t call all weekend. Donna tried not to read anything into it. When she came
in to work early on Monday, just past 6:30, he was already at his desk and had a pile
of things for her to do on hers.
“Were you here all weekend?” She asked.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“You should have called me. I could have come in and helped.” She noted.
“I was fine.”
“You really shouldn’t overdo it just as you’re starting back.” She added.
“I think I’m the best judge of whether or not I’m overdoing it.” He said snippily.
“I’m sorry about last week. The Thanksgiving thing. I can see why you might not have
appreciated-“
“It’s not a big deal.” Josh interrupted. “Can you set something up with Royce for later
today?”
“Sure.” Donna turned to go. “Did you hear the President hired Ainsley Hayes to work
in the counsel’s office?”
“Yeah. Sam’s going to have kittens.” Josh joked and Donna felt better for a minute.
“I’ll go get Royce for you.”
“Thanks.” Josh told her and that one word went a long way towards making Donna
feel better. He was just stressed, that’s all.
At the end of the day, Donna checked in with him to see if he was ready to go home.
“No, I’ve got another hour here, you can go home though.” He told her. Her head
dropped in disappointment and for once Josh was clued in enough to notice it.
“If it’s okay, I thought I’d come over to your place when I’m done.” He ventured.
“Sure. Whenever you’re done.” Donna quickly agreed.
Josh appeared just as he’d promised. He’d barely gotten through the door before he
was kissing her and undressing her. They made love twice before falling asleep in
each other’s arms, but when Donna woke up cold at 3 AM, Josh was gone.
******************************
Sam was prattling on about how Joyce and Brookline stepped way over the line and
he’d had to fire them. Fine. But then he went into some harebrained scheme for a
surprise welcoming party for Hayes and Josh was about to lose it.
“Whatever Sam.” Josh broke in. “Just tell Donna where I need to be and when.”
Sam did a double take. Josh had been short with him all week. He wondered if
something happened between Josh and Donna, but didn’t want to pry in their new
relationship.
“What’s going on, Josh?”
“Leo, who has made some kind of evil pact with my mother, is forcing me to take
Thanksgiving off. Can you believe that? Like I’m some wayward 5 year old.”
“He’s probably just looking out for you, Josh.” Sam consoled him.
“I don’t need Leo looking out for me, Sam. I don’t need anyone looking out for me.”
“Obviously.” Sam said sarcastically.
“What does that mean?”
“Just that you seem to be burning the candle at both ends and I doubt that’s what
your body, which is still healing from an assault of hot lead, really needs right now.”
Josh flinched at the words ‘hot lead’ but otherwise did not react. He had heard
enough of this shit from Donna. He could take care of himself.
”Well the Lyman babysitting club can take a break, because I am being forced,
against my will, to spend the entire weekend with my Mom.”
“Your Mom is great, Josh. And she’ll be thrilled to have that time alone with you.”
“That’s not the point! People keep making decision about my life without consulting
me.”
“It’s just one weekend, Josh. Take the break. It will make everyone feel better; maybe
even you.” Sam added as he left Josh alone with his foul mood.
*******************************************
“What do you mean we’re going to Wisconsin for Thanksgiving?” Josh asked his
mother.
“Donna’s parents invited us and since it’s only the two of us I thought it would be
nice-“
“Mom! It’s bad enough that you went to Leo behind my back to organize this
vacation, how can you just unilaterally decide we’re going to spend Thanksgiving
with the Moss family. Do you know they’re Republicans?”
”They’re perfectly nice people Joshua; Republicans or not.”
“How would you know? You’ve never even met them.”
“I’ve talked to them several times. Anna and I really hit it off.”
“Mom, I really don’t think it’s a good idea-“
“Listen Joshua, I don’t pretend to understand how that complicated brain of yours
works or why you haven’t seen fit to tell me about you and Donna, but-“
“Me and Donna?!”
“Donna talks to her mother every week.” Ruth said simply.
“I don’t know what she’s saying to her mother, or what her mother is saying to you,
but it’s not that big a deal. Certainly nothing that warrants our families spending a
holiday together.”
“It’s not a betrothal ceremony, Joshua. We have all been through quite a lot this year
and we’d like to celebrate our Thanksgiving together. Anna says they have plenty of
room.”
“No, no, no.” Josh put his foot down. “IF we go, I am not staying at their house.”
“Fine. I’ll ask Anna to find a local hotel for us. If we leave Wednesday night, we-“
“I can’t possibly leave Wednesday night. Thursday morning is the earliest I could go.”
Ruth sighed and decided to let her son win this battle as long as she won the war.
“Thursday morning it is.” Ruth agreed and hung up. Josh went out in search of
Donna. Things were so up and down with them lately. Sometimes, things seemed to
be hitting on all cylinders, and other times it was just one miss after another.
When they did spend the night together, Josh made sure it was at her place, so he
could leave when he needed to. He found her in Toby’s office arguing some policy
point with him and for a second his heart just stopped. She was so beautiful; smart
and funny too. What the hell was she doing with him?
“Hey, Toby. Donna, I need you for a sec.” Josh waited for her to walk to the doorway
before proceeding out into the hall. “Did you have something to do with this
Thanksgiving deal?”
“The Friday meetings?” Donna asked puzzled. “Leo ordered me to reschedule them
Josh, I told you that.”
“Not the Friday- The family dinner thing…on Thanksgiving…at your family’s house.”
“Excuse me?” She looked confused by the reference, but Donna could be a good
actress.
“The invitation your parents extended to my mother and me to spend Thanksgiving
in Wisconsin.” Donna blinked.
“This is the first I’ve heard about it. Are you coming?”
“Apparently.” Josh drawled.
“That’s great!” Donna enthused. She had been more than a little sad that they’d be
apart for the holiday, but hadn’t voiced anything because she hadn’t wanted to upset
the delicate truce they’d established.
“Yeah, great.” He said sarcastically. “You’d better find a flight for me Thursday
morning.”
In days gone by, Donna would have teased that getting holiday travel tickets was not
in her job description, but today she merely nodded her head and got online.
************************************************
For days after that things went along smoothly and Donna began to believe Josh
was over the worst of whatever it was he was dealing with. He even kept his cool
while debating the Marriage Recognition Act with Matt Skinner. Of course the
stunning red dress she wore while waiting for them to finish might have sped things
up a bit. Josh had promised her a nice dinner out when he was done with Matt, so
she had dressed accordingly.
Judging by the look in his eyes when he saw her in it, he liked her in the dress.
Judging by the amount of time it took him to get her out of it once they were back at
her apartment, he liked her out of the dress too.
He still snapped at people, Donna included, on occasion, but it happened less
frequently than when he first came back from his medical leave.
He teased Sam about having a crush on Ainsley. He groused about the Presidential
trivia mixed in with poker. He was even making lists of cheesehead jokes to bring
along on Thanksgiving. Donna became more optimistic every day.
Then the week of Thanksgiving arrived. Josh, Sam, and Toby stuck the turkeys
being considered for Presidential pardon in C.J.’s office after she left for the night.
Technically, as a member of the Sisterhood, Donna should have called C.J. to warn
her, or at least gotten rid of the turkey’s, but she had so enjoyed the camaraderie of
the guys working together to irk C.J. she couldn’t do either.
For his part, Josh was feeling pretty good. The dreams were coming less frequently
even though they’d branched out into different events in his life; the fire that took his
sister’s life, his father’s death, even visions of his Grandparents in a concentration
camp. He’d even felt secure enough to spend the entire night with Donna twice that
week.
He had been a little concerned that people in the West Wing, and in Congress,
would find out the extent of his relationship with Donna and try to make political hay
out of it. Fortunately, they had always had an unconventional relationship, and no
one batted an eye when they left together or arrived at the same time. Sam knew.
Josh could tell by the way he sometimes caught Sam looking at them. C.J. seemed to
suspect, but preferred not to have anything confirmed in her presence. They kept
things strictly professional in the office; or as professional as they had ever been in
the office.
So, with a great week behind them, they got on an early plane to Wisconsin where
they would meet up with Ruth.
“Put the paper away, Joshua.” Donna warned him.
“Try and get it away from me, Donnatella.” He teased and waved the paper in the air
above his head.
“Would you please pretend you’re a grown up?” Donna pleaded. “Put the paper
away.”
“I can’t. What if I need to tell a cheesehead joke to break the ice right away? I need
to keep the paper handy.”
“Dear. God.” As much as Donna loved to see Josh light hearted and teasing, he
could be completely exhausting when he was in this kind of mood. He did look good
today, though. He was dressed casually in jeans, a black t-shirt and a corduroy
jacket. Thanksgiving with the Moss family, she had told him, was casual.
She had tried once more before they left D.C., to persuade him to stay with the
family; with her, but he wouldn’t have it. Donna suspected it had more to do with the
occasionally nightmares he still experienced than anything else, so she let it go.
Josh was surprisingly genial with all of Donna’s family and they had a wonderful meal
together. Anna and Ruth were like two peas in a pod and that warmed Donna’s heart
too. Everything was fine until the day drifted into night and the family gathered in the
living room. Josh gave in to his exhausted body and laid his head on Donna’s lap to
take a nap. Both mother’s noted the posture and shared satisfied smiles.
The next thing he knew, there was gunfire and he was shouting for help. Donna’s
family looked on in stunned shock as he thrashed in remembered pain and Donna
spoke quietly in his ear trying to bring him back to the present. When she finally
accomplished this task, Josh was breathing hard and wanted to die of
embarrassment as he took in the faces staring at him from around the room.
“Come with me, we’ll get you some water.” Donna pulled him off the couch and into
the kitchen with her.
“I’m sorry, Donna.” Josh said sitting down at the kitchen table, his head in his hands.
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t give any thought to the gunfire in the movie they put on after
you fell asleep. It was my fault.” Donna was quick to tell him.
“God, could I have looked any more like an idiot?” Josh asked.
“Would you stop?” Donna handed him the water and rubbed his back. “There isn’t a
soul here, or anywhere else for that matter, who doesn’t understand what you went
through.”
“Nobody understands what I went through, Donna.” Josh lashed out. “Jesus, I’m so
sick of people saying they understand how hard it must be, how awful it must have
been. They don’t!”
“No, of course not.” Donna confirmed, but that just set Josh off further.
“And then they try to mollify me, just like you’re doing now. Everybody has to walk on
egg shells around Josh, otherwise he might crack, right?”
“No. That isn’t-“
“I don’t know what I was thinking coming here. It was a huge mistake.”
“It was not. I am so glad that you and Ruth came for the weekend.” Donna protested.
“I honestly don’t know why, Donna.” Josh said sadly. “I honestly don’t.” He rose from
the table and grabbed his rental car keys from the counter. “I need to go back to the
hotel. I need some space. Tell your family I got sick or something. I’m sure they’d
believe that.”
“Let me get my coat and purse and I’ll come with you.” Donna offered.
“I really can’t get some space if you’re in it, can I?” Josh replied.
“I won’t bother you. I can stay in Ruth’s room next door. I just want to be close in
case you need someone or something.”
“Are you afraid to leave me alone, Donna?” Josh asked looking at her critically.
“Seriously? You’re afraid I’ll do something stupid?”
“I just want to be with you.” Donna replied simply.
“Being a seasoned political operative, I can tell you that I noticed you didn’t answer
the question. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Josh said looking disappointed in her. The back
door slammed behind him. Within seconds, Anna Moss appeared in the kitchen.
“Is Josh okay?” she asked in concern.
“He’s pretty shaken up, Mom.” Donna admitted. “The nightmares really send him
over the edge sometimes. He just needs a little time alone to get his bearings.”
“Are you okay, Donnatella?” her mom asked shrewdly.
“No, Mom, I’m really not.” Donna shared and was immediately enveloped in a hug.
