Donna was sad, but not surprised when Josh called the next morning with some
invented emergency that required his presence at the White House. She offered to
go with him, as did Ruth, but he declined both offers.
That’s when Anna announced it was time to go shopping. Anna, Ruth, Donna, and
Donna’s sister Grace all headed for the post-Thanksgiving sales. After several
hours of shopping, they came home loaded with bags, but Donna still appeared to
have a cloud hanging over her head. There was a quick meeting of ‘Operation East
Wing’ members and they decided they needed to talk to Donna alone. The
opportunity for the chat didn’t come until after dinner that day when the women were
doing dishes. Grace had been excused from the duty since she was 6 months
pregnant and still tired out from their shopping excursion.
“Did Josh call to let you know he’d arrived home safely?” Ruth asked.
“He left a voice mail.” Donna replied.
“If you wanted to go back to D.C. early, everyone would understand, honey.” Anna
Moss told her youngest daughter.
“Josh doesn’t want me with him and I don’t want to be alone.” Donna explained.
“Josh may not think he wants you with him, but he needs you with him.” Ruth
countered. “He’s just being extremely stubborn, which I’m sad to say, is a common
trait in the male Lyman gene. You’ll find out when you and Josh have kids.”
Donna laughed. “Ruth, you are way off base there.”
“No, I’m not. I know my son; better than he knows himself most days. That’s why we
started the plan in the first place, so he would finally recognize what was right there
in front of him.” Ruth finally stopped talking long enough to look at the faces of her
companions and realized that while the stubborn gene may have come from Noah,
the running at the mouth gene had certainly come from her. Anna’s face bore the
age old ‘Uh-Oh’ expression and Donna’s face simply registered shock, then she
turned to her mother.
“Mom, what have you done?” Donna asked in a quiet voice.
“It’s not what you’re thinking.”
“What am I thinking?”
“That we interfered with your relationship with Josh.”
“But you didn’t?” Donna clarified.
“Well, maybe just a teeny bit, but it was only to help you and Joshua see what you
had in each other.” Ruth acknowledged.
“I don’t understand.” Donna stated. Anna looked at Ruth to signal her to begin.
“That night, that horrible night of the shooting, we could all see how much you loved
Josh and we thought it was a shame that neither of you would do anything to
acknowledge your feelings for each other, so we may have helped things along a
bit.”
“Wait a minute. Mom, you weren’t there that night and no cell phones were allowed
in the waiting room, so Ruth couldn’t have been talking to you about it then.”
“No, I wasn’t included in the plan until a little later.” Anna noted.
“But you said ‘we’.” Donna turned back to Ruth. “Who is ‘we’?”
“At that point, it was just the First Lady and I.” Ruth confessed.
“The First Lady?” Donna nearly shouted.
“She was the one to notice it first, if I recall correctly.” Ruth continued.
“What exactly did she notice?” Donna said angrily.
“Just how much you and Josh loved each other.”
“UH!...” For once in her life, Donna couldn’t elicit any words.
“We thought if we prodded you both a bit and kept you in close proximity, you’d
realize what you meant to each other. And look, it worked too.” Anna pointed out.
“It most certainly did NOT work.” Donna countered. “You pushed us together,
maneuvered us into the same space.” A though occurred to her. “Staying with him
while he recovered? The physical therapy? He didn’t really need or want me there
did he?”
“Of course he did.” Ruth responded. “And you were staying so far away, you wouldn’
t even stop by the hospital. We had to do something to get you back in the same
room.”
“But by pushing us together like that- How can I possibly know now if his feelings are
genuine or simply some manifestation of an artificially created environment?”
“Donna, everyone could see how you felt about him even before the shooting-“
Anna began.
“What?!” Donna dropped down in the chair. “Everyone? I…I always kept things
professional between us. I worked so hard to keep my feeling private so I wouldn’t
embarrass Josh or myself. Now you’re telling me everyone knew?” Donna turned
red. “The First Lady knew?”
“Donna honey, you’re blowing this out of proportion. It was simply three old women
who wanted to see two very special realize how special they were to each other.”
Anna explained.
“I have been set up by my mother, my boss’s mother, and the First Lady of the
United States.” Donna murmured. “I need a beer.” Anna silently went to the frig and
brought Donna a beer. In fact she brought three of them to the table, and all the
women drank their beer together.
“Dr. Bartlet named it ‘Operation East Wing’ because she was tired of the President
getting all the cool code names for his plans.” Ruth noted and Donna nearly choked
on the beer she was swallowing.
“You three are absolutely unbelievable.” Donna told them.
“Donna, there really isn’t any reason to share all this with Josh, is there?” Ruth
asked the younger woman.
“I should.” Donna replied. “It would serve you all right to have to endure a Josh
Lyman lecture.”
“But you won’t.” Anna confirmed.
“No, I won’t, but only if you three promise not to interfere anymore.” Donna looked at
them both sternly.
“We promise.” Anna stated. “But we can’t make promises for the First Lady.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll speak to her myself.” Donna assured them.
When she got back to D.C. on Sunday she went to Josh’s apartment before she
even went home to unpack her bags.
As she predicted, he was neck deep in work. It didn’t take too much effort though to
persuade him to set it aside for awhile. She did go back to her place that night to
unpack and get ready for their Monday morning, but Josh had seemed like his old
self all day long so she didn’t even give a moment’s thought to leaving him alone
that night.
*****************************************
The first week in December was the most enjoyable week at work for Donna and
Josh since before the shooting. He teased her about putting her on a stamp, and
questioned her pronunciation of the word for stamp collecting. They got a lot
accomplished at work and had evenings together that were rarely marred by
nightmares. Her incredibly good mood helped her keep her anger reigned in when
she had ‘the conversation’ with the First Lady.
It was the next week when everything started to go to hell. Donna watched with
increasing distress as Josh plunged further and further into some dark, anxious
place she didn’t know how to get him out of.
By the middle of the month, Josh wasn’t coming over after work at all to see her or
be with her. He claimed work or exhaustion from work as his excuse, but Donna
knew it was more than that. He was yelling about the noise in the building and
complaining to everybody and anybody about the music that was constantly playing
in the lobby. He startled when doors banged shut, which in the White House, was a
common occurrence. He snapped at Donna, railed on Toby, and lost his patience
with Sam.
Donna tried asking him about his health and his sleep, but that only angered him
further. He looked like he was losing weight and acted like he was losing his mind.
The tipping point seemed to be when Leo asked Josh to look into the case of a Navy
Pilot who had purposely crashed his plane into a mountain. Josh couldn’t get over
the fact they shared the same birthday.
Josh tried to apologize by securing a ticket for her to go to the Congressional
Christmas party to hear Yo-Yo Ma. She accepted his apology, and the Yo-Yo Ma
ticket (she wasn’t any fool) but began doing some research online around the
symptoms she had observed in Josh. When she hit upon a website that described
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder she literally gasped; they were describing Josh. She
had to do something to help him, but he wasn’t listening to her. He wasn’t even
spending time with her anymore. She knew of only one person, save the President
himself, that could get Josh to listen to them; Leo McGarry.
The trick would be relating her concerns without giving away too much detail so that
Leo could guess they were romantically involved now. Even the thought of that
phrase made her laugh humorlessly. How ironic that they might get busted for dating
now that they really weren’t even dating anymore. Donna hadn’t shared her fears
about Josh with anyone else, although Sam was growing concerned.
Donna finally worked up the nerve to print out the information she had found and
take it to Leo.
“Leo, do you have a minute?” she asked from his doorway.
“Sure kid, what’s up?” He didn’t look up until he heard his door click shut and when
he did he was surprised by the apprehension he saw on Donna’s face. “Donna?”
“Something’s wrong with Josh.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think he may be experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.” Leo blinked at her
pronouncement.
“From the shooting?” Leo asked and Donna nodded. “That was a few months ago,
Donna.”
“I know, but I’ve been researching it, and all sorts of things can set it off even years
later.” She handed him a file that contained her research. Leo skimmed the papers
while Donna stood nervously near his desk.
“Hell, Donna, Josh is usually cranky and withdrawn. I know this thing with the pilot
shook him up but-“
“That’s not this.” Donna insisted. “Nobody knows better than I do that Josh can be
cranky and withdrawn. This is something different. He’s losing weight. He’s having
terrible nightmares and he isn’t sleeping well because of them. He isn’t just cranky,
Leo, he’s being mean. That isn’t Josh. He isn’t purposefully nasty to the people who
work with him or for him.” Leo studied her carefully now.
“He’s told you about these nightmares?”
“Not exactly.”
“Oh, Donna.” Leo shook his head and removed his glasses.
“Leo, it wasn’t something either of us planned, we just-“
“Stop. Stop right there, please.” He held out his hand in the universal signal for
‘stop’. “I beg you do not say anything more about that right now.”
“I’ll be glad to never anything about it ever again.” Donna muttered. “You have to
help me help Josh, Leo. I’m scared for him.”
“Let me look into this and I’ll see what I can do.”
“Today?” Donna clarified.
“Does it need to be done today?” Leo asked a little more alarmed. Donna nodded
and tears welled up in her eyes.
“Then today it is.” Leo promised. “Go back to your desk. Send Josh over in an hour.”
“Thank you, Leo.” Donna said quietly and went back to her desk.
************************************
“What the hell did you say to Leo?” Josh demanded upon his return from Leo’s
office and Donna jumped.
“I…I just…”
“From now on if you have a problem or a concern about me, you can come to me.
Don’t be jumping over my head and going to Leo, understand?”
“I did come to you; several times in fact, but you refused to listen to me.”
“That’s because I didn’t think your concerns were valid.”
“Well Leo did.” Donna stood up and walked closer to him. “Thank God.”
“Is this some kind of payback because I haven’t been coming over lately?” he asked.
“What?!” Donna asked trying to decide is she was more stricken by the accusation
or by the fact he leveled the accusation in front of a half a dozen people they
worked with. “Can we step into your office please?”
“No, we can’t. Want to know why? Because Leo is sending me home to ‘rest’ before
the Congressional Christmas party tonight.” Josh sneered. “Like I’m a fucking
kindergartner.”
“Josh please calm down.” Donna entreated him.
“You had no right to go to Leo and complain about me just because you don’t like
the fact I’m not coming over anymore.”
“Josh if we could just-“
“I have a final meeting in the Oval on the strategic oil reserves and then I’m
supposed to go home until the party tonight. Do not talk to me anymore right now.”
He ordered.
***********************************
Josh stood in Leo’s office after erupting in the Oval office; yelling at the President
for God’s sake. He was seriously considering the fact that he may have already lost
his mind. Donna knew he had. She saw everything. That’s why he had taken such
pains to stay away from her. Look how well that turned out.
When Leo joined him, Leo told Josh he had arranged for Josh to meet with some
people from ATVA. Part of Josh railed at the idea of being handled. The other part
of him was relieved that he might get some help in escaping from this hell he’d been
living in. He made a show of objecting, but some part of him was thankful Leo was
throwing him a line.
He went straight home from there, not even stopping at his desk. He couldn’t sleep,
but he did close his eyes while lying on the couch and listening to CSPAN. He almost
felt calm by the time he had his tux on and arrived at the White House for the party.
He though he might have trouble avoiding Donna, but he needn’t have worried. She
stayed far, far away from him. Good, maybe he had succeeded in driving her away
so she wouldn’t see so much, notice so much.
Then something happened during the concert. It started with a vague feeling of
impending trouble, but he couldn’t imagine why he felt so anxious listening to Yo-Yo
Ma’s amazing performance. Part of him wanted to look at Donna’s face to see her
reaction to hearing her idol perform, but he couldn’t risk making eye contact with
her. The next thing he noticed was a funny taste in his mouth. Then his hands
started shaking and he couldn’t make them stop. He ended up almost sitting on
them so no one else would notice. His cheek twitched and his muscles kept
contracting over and over despite the fact that he was sitting perfectly still at the
concert.
He wanted to run from the room but his legs wouldn’t co-operate. Plus, they were
shaking so badly he wasn’t sure they’d support his weight. Finally, the torture ended
and everyone rose to their feet in an ovation. Josh stumbled to his feet and walked
straight out of the White House. He took a cab home since he was afraid to drive
himself. Once in the safe confines of his apartment, he was able to breath a little
easier and poured himself a drink.
He chugged the first drink down in seconds, but took a few minutes to finish the
second one, waiting for the alcohol to numb his senses, stop the pain he felt
everywhere in his body. But it never came. He began pacing his living room moving
around it faster and faster, like a caged tiger. The pain in his chest was unrelenting,
the throbbing in his temples became unbearable and in an effort to make everything
stop he ran to the window and slammed his hand through it; shattering the glass all
over him and the living room.
The blood running down his arm combined with the two glasses of scotch caused his
stomach to rebel and he launched himself into the bathroom, barely making it to the
toilet in time. After retching repeatedly, he wrapped his hand in the bathroom towel,
then just laid his head down on the cool tile and went to sleep.
The next day he walked directly to his office without a word to anyone, dropped off
his backpack, and walked to Leo’s office just as Leo had directed him to do. Leo
walked him down the hall and opened the door. Josh took a deep breath and walked
in. After only a few minutes with Stanley Keyworth and Kaytha Trask, just realized it
was going to be a long, uncomfortable day.
*********************************
Josh looked over at Donna where she sat in the emergency room waiting area. She
was thumbing through a 6 month old magazine pretending not to watch him. She
hadn’t said a word to him since they’d gotten in her car and she’d driven him over
here.
He would give anything to know what she was thinking right now. He’d again, said
awful things to her. Why was it that he always chose to take his anger out on
Donna? How could he hope to have any relationship with her, even just friendship, if
he lashed out at her when he got stressed? He was bound to get stressed again;
have another PTSD episode. Stanley all but guaranteed it. Yes, he had said that we
all get better, too, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t have episode for the rest of his
life.
“Mr. Lyman?” the nurse called from the doorway. Without thinking about it, Josh took
Donna’s hand in his uninjured one and led her to the doorway with him. “I’m sorry,
only family members are allowed in the treatment rooms.”
“This is my wife.” Josh lied without missing a beat. The nurse looked at Donna, who
definitely had a shocked look on her face, and then back at Josh, who had a
guileless expression on his face.
“Uh-huh.” She replied disbelieving. “Mr. and Mrs. Lyman, come this way please.”
“It’s Moss-Lyman.” Donna corrected her. “I hyphenate.” Josh had to cough to cover
up the laugh that rumbled out of him.
“The Doctor will be right with you.” She told them as she drew the privacy screen
closed. “Take off your shirt and put on the gown. It ties in the back. I’m sure your
wife can help you with that part.”
“Funny lady.” Josh noted once she had left. “And can we please discuss this
hyphenating business, please.”
“I really don’t see the point.” Donna looked away.
“It may be an issue in the future and I think we should discuss it.”
“Stop it, Josh. Stop making jokes, this isn’t funny.” She tells him.
“I know.” He admits. “How did you figure out what really happened? With my hand?”
“The landlord called the office about letting the window repair people in.”
“Ahh…”
“Yes, ahhh. I heard it from your landlord, not from you.” Donna said, the hurt in her
voice evident in each word.
“We weren’t exactly speaking to each other, Donna.”
“No, you weren’t speaking to me and you refused to let me speak to you. That’s
completely different.”
“You’re right, it is.” Josh agreed. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s it? You’re sorry?”
“Donna, I thought I was going crazy. I didn’t want you along for the ride.”
“You pushed me away because you thought you were going crazy? Did it ever occur
to you that when you’re feeling that desperate and depressed you run to the people
who care about you instead of away from them?”
“No.” Josh answered simply.
“Josh!”
“It didn’t. Do you want me to lie?” Josh asked. “All I’ve been trying to do the last
couple weeks in get away from anyone who knows me. Anyone who might notice
that Josh Lyman had lost his freaking mind.”
Tears started running down Donna’s face. “Were you trying to hurt yourself?”
“No, I swear I wasn’t Donna.” Josh looked her straight in the eye so she could see
that he was being honest. “I just wanted to make the pain stop for just a little while.”
“I should have gone home with you.” Donna stated. “I could see you were agitated at
the concert. I should have followed you home. The worst thing you could’ve done
was yell at me.”
“It’s not your fault, Donna.” Josh assured her. “It’s really not.”
“I didn’t say it was. But I could’ve stopped you.”
“Maybe that night, but what about the next one? And the other one after that?” Josh
pressed.
“I could’ve moved back in and watched you every night.” She argued.
“You’d do that?” Josh asked.
“In a heartbeat.”
“Why? I’ve been a bastard to you Donnatella. I’m messed up physically, and
emotionally. Why would you cross the hall to help me let alone move in with me to
help me?”
“Because I love you, you idiot.” Donna nearly shouted.
“You do?” Josh confirmed.
“How is it that your mom, my mom, the First Lady of the United States, and most of
the West Wing staff can tell I’m in love with you, but you can’t?”
“What the hell are you talking about?” he asked.
“I’ll explain it later.” Donna said when the Doctor came in. They didn’t say another
word about it, until they got back to Donna’s apartment. Josh couldn’t stay at his
place until the window was fixed and the glass company wouldn’t get out to his place
until the day after Christmas.
Donna unlocked her door and waited for Josh to move inside.
“I’m going to make some decaf. Would you like some?”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this when you finally offer to bring me coffee, but no
thanks.”
“I didn’t offer to bring you coffee, I just offered to make you some.” Donna clarified.
“Good. Now I feel better.” Josh said. “Whenever you offer to bring me coffee, it’s
always bad news for me.”
“One time, Joshua, just one time.” Donna called out from the kitchen.
“Hey, Donna?” Josh called from
“Yeah?” she called back.
“I love you too, you know.” He called out again. A moment later, Donna’s head
popped out from the kitchen door.
“What did you say?” she asked, her head tilted in confusion.
“You heard me.” he teased.
“I heard something, but I’m not sure what it was. Will you repeat it please?” she
asked very politely.
“I love you, too.” Josh repeated and watched tears fill her eyes. “No more crying
Donnatella, I’m begging you. It’s already been a pretty emotional day.” Donna
nodded and wiped her eyes before she sat on his lap and kissed his cheek.
“I declare my undying love for you, and all I get is kiss on the cheek?”
“I don’t remember hearing anything about undying love.”
“It was implied.” Josh explained.
“Uh-huh.” Donna said tongue in cheek.
“Do you really want coffee right now?” Josh asked her and she shook her head ‘no’.
“Then let’s go lie down. I’m so tired and I sleep better when you’re in my arms.”
Without another word, she got up and led him to the bedroom. As they settled in
together Josh noticed it was just after midnight.
“Hey, Merry Christmas, Donnatella.” Josh said nodding at the clock with his head.
“Merry Christmas Josh.” She murmured as she cuddled with him.
**********************************
Chapter 15
Christmas morning dawned bright and clear. The sun brought out the highlights in
Donna’s hair as Josh stroked his hand through it. He reflected that he hadn’t slept
that well in weeks.
“Since when do you wake up before me?” Donna murmured sleepily.
“I think this may be a first.” Josh admitted. “It’s only 8. What should we do with our
day?”
“Being that it’s Christmas, our choices our severely limited.” Donna reminded him.
“Sam and Ainsley are coming for Turkey later. I should be getting it in the oven
soon.”
“Sam and Ainsley?”
“Ainsley couldn’t get back to North Carolina and Sam decided to stay here with her.”
“Why didn’t you go home for Christmas?”
“I thought I should stick around.” Donna said honestly.
“Thank you.” Josh told her sincerely. “So…Sam and Ainsley. What’s going on with
them?”
“I’m not sure I know. I’m not sure they know.” Donna answered.
“I know the feeling.” Josh agreed. “What time are they coming over?”
“Around 3. If you’re a very good boy, I’ll let you open your present before they get
here.”
“I get a present?” Josh was immediately intrigued.
“Only if you’re very, very good.” Donna qualified.
“Not much chance of that.” Josh deflated. “I have been the exact opposite of a good
for the last several weeks. I don’t know how to make that up to you.”
“You’ve been going through some very heavy stuff. Do you honestly think I don’t
understand that? Do you think I couldn’t forgive you?”
“I’m not sure I would if I were you.” Josh replied. “Stanley said…He said that I’d get
better. That I’d learn to remember the shooting without reliving it and I’d learn how to
deal with a P.T.S.D. episode without lashing out at the people closest to me. But he
also said…he said there isn’t a cure for this. It’s never going to be ‘all better’.” Josh
told her and Donna understood he was warning her that it wasn’t over yet and would
never be completely over.
“When I came to New Hampshire, after I found out Bryan, er Freeride, was cheating
on me; my self-esteem had never been so low. I didn’t think I would be able to trust
another man or my own judgment ever again. But somehow you saw something in
me that I didn’t even see in myself and you took a chance on me.”
“Donna-“
“When you handed me your campaign ID badge? You handed me back my self-
esteem and I gave you my heart. I trusted you and your word. It was a life changing
moment for me. You looked beyond a scared, vulnerable girl and saw that I might be
valuable.” Donna looked up at him. “So when you’re wondering how I could forgive
you for your filthy behavior lately, you need to factor in our history together. The
times you stood up for me, gave me a chance to prove myself, and showed me I was
valuable far outnumber the times that you’ve snapped at me since Rosslyn.”
“That’s it?” Josh asked in wonder.
“Hell, no, you’re going to owe me big for a long while.” Donna laughed at Josh’s
expression and brought him to her for a kiss. “I need to go start the turkey. Why don’
t you get dressed and run out to rent us some movies.”
“They’re open on Christmas?”
“365 days a year.” Donna confirmed.
“God bless America.” Josh chuckled. “I’ll go get some movies.”
“Please make sure they are movies that we’d all enjoy.” Donna reminded him.
“You want me to find a movie a blond, Republican woman would enjoy? I’ll see if
they have anything that involves kicking puppies and small children.”
“Joshua!” Donna warned. “Sam is your best friend and he likes Ainsley a lot. So
maybe you could leave the partisan cracks for another time?”
“I doubt it.” Josh muttered as her got into the shower.
“I heard that!” Donna called from outside the door.
Josh had barely been gone ten minutes when Donna’s phone rang.
“Donna, it’s Ruth. I’m SO sorry to bother you on Christmas, but have you heard from
Josh? I’ve been trying to reach him all night and he’s not answering his home
number or his cell.”
“Oh, Ruth, I should have called you. Josh is here. Well, not here right this second,
but he’s…staying here. The window in his apartment broke and he cut his hand on
the glass.” All technically true, Donna reminded herself.
“Donna, is he alright?” Ruth asked quietly. “He hasn’t sounded like himself lately,
when I’ve been able to talk to him at all.”
“He’s had a really bad week, Ruth, but he’s getting some help now.” Ruth released a
sigh of relief when she heard that. No matter how old your children got, you never
stopped worrying about them or trying to help them.
“Good. Good, I’m glad.” Ruth said out loud. “If he’s staying with you I don’t have to
worry.”
“I’ll have him call you as soon as he gets back.” Donna promised knowing the
woman would feel much better once she heard her son’s voice.
“Thanks Donna, I appreciate it. Merry Christmas.” Ruth told her before hanging up.
It was almost two hours later when Josh returned.
“What took you so long? I was getting worried. Especially since you didn’t take your
cell.” Donna asked as soon as he came in the door carrying a couple bags.
“Honestly, I thought you’d welcome a break from me. Do you know how hard it is to
find non-partisan movies?”
“What’d you end up getting?”
“I know how you like Robert Redford so I got “All the President’s Men” and “28 Days
of the Condor””
“’All the President’s Men’, Josh?” Donna drawled. “A movie about Watergate?”
“It’s historical and educational!” Josh defended his choice while Donna rooted
through the first bag. She noted that he had rented several other films as well that
would be more appropriate given their audience. When she reached for the second
bag he pulled it away from her.
“Uh-uh. That’s not for you.” He told her. “Well, there is this stuff.” He said pulling a
bag of chips and a bag of holiday colored M&M’s from his package. “My contribution
to the meal.”
Donna smirked. “Chips and chocolate?”
“Appetizers and dessert.” He corrected before disappearing from the kitchen. When
he came back into the room Donna remembered to tell him his mom had called. He
froze in place.
“Josh?”
“I haven’t really talked to her lately.”
“That’s what she told me. She was pretty concerned. Give her a call. It will help if
she can hear your voice.” Donna said and handed him the phone, but Josh didn’t
take it from her. “Josh?”
“I’ll call later.”
“I think you should call her now. She tried all last night to reach you.”
“I…can’t right now.” Josh replied. “The nightmares? They’ve been about Joanie
lately.”
Josh didn’t continue right away, but Donna stopped cutting the vegetables and
turned to face him, waiting for him to elaborate.
“They’re always different.” He said quietly. “Sometimes we’re at the house during the
fire and sometimes she’s with me at Rosslyn. However it starts, it always ends the
same. Joanie is dead and Mom is furious with me for not protecting her. She
screams at me while my Dad just stands there looking at me and shaking his head. I
can’t even listen to Mom’s messages right now.” Josh risked a look at Donna and
saw she was watching him curiously but seemingly without the pity he thought he’d
see there.
“Did you talk to Dr. Keyworth about it?” she asked.
“Yeah. And I imagine I’ll be talking about it a lot more with the therapist he set me up
to see tomorrow.”
“I imagine so.” Donna agreed.
“I didn’t mean to make Mom worry. I just can’t talk to her right now. It’s too raw.”
Without another word, Donna picked up the phone and hit the callback button. Ruth
answered on the first ring.
“Josh?”
“No, Ruth, it’s Donna. Josh just got back but he needs to take a shower and our
guests will be here any minute. He asked me to tell you he’ll shoot you an email
tonight so you can catch up. Is that okay?”
“That would be fine.” Ruth said levelly. She seemed to understand Donna’s
unspoken message that Josh wasn’t ready to talk yet. “Thanks so much, Donna.”
“You’re welcome, Ruth.” Donna hung up all the while keeping eye contact with Josh
whose eyes were filling at the moment.
“What did I ever do to deserve you?” he asked quietly.
“You gave me a chance.” Donna replied.
“You lied to my mother.”
“I bent the truth a bit, yeah.”
“How do you know I won’t tell her about that?”
“I’m trusting in your good nature.”
“That’s always a mistake.” He responded as she went back to cutting vegetables. He
walked up behind her and moved her hair so he could kiss her neck. “When are
Sam and Ainsley coming?”
“Around 3.”
“We’ve got hours yet to do the things with the vegetables.” He coaxed her to turn
around and kissed her on the lips. “We should take advantage of this day off and
get some rest; maybe take a nap.”
“Are you tired, Joshua?” Donna teased.
“More like, relaxed. Come relax with me in the other room.” He kissed his way down
her throat.
“The other room? You mean the living room?”
“I was thinking the bedroom was more relaxing, but if you’d prefer the living room…”
“I’d prefer to get the food ready first and then…relax.”
“It’s much more efficient to relax first, and then we’ll have more energy to take care
of the food.” Josh reasoned while he continued his assault on her senses; kissing
her and rubbing his arms over her skin.
“See my concern is that WE will relax, and then I will be left with kitchen duty. So
here’s the deal: you help me finish the food preparation and then we’ll ‘relax’ until
Sam and Ainsley get here.”
Josh looked at the clock. It was just past 11. The food couldn’t take that long, and
then they’d have around 3 hours…
“Deal.” He agreed quickly. “But you have to show me what to do and you can’t give
me anything too difficult.”
“You can start with peeling the potatoes. Can you do that with your hand?” she
asked and he nodded. “Do I have to demonstrate?”
“I think I can handle that one.” Josh took the bowl of potatoes Donna handed to him.
“Jesus, Donna, there are enough potatoes for a platoon here. There’s only four of
us.”
“Yes, but one of the four of us is Ainsley, so…”
“Fair point.” Josh sat down on the kitchen stool and started peeling.
Who knew cooking could take so much time, Josh wondered. Almost 2 hours. By the
time Donna covered the last dish and checked on the turkey, Josh was practically
undressing her in the kitchen.
“Hold on a minute, Joshua.”
“No. I’m done waiting. I waited a long, long, time Donnatella. I’m done, the foods
done, let’s go.”
“How very romantic.” Donna said sarcastically and cried out when Josh literally
picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. He set her on the bed and lay down
next to her.
“I have had a horrible week and hit rock bottom. For the first time in too long, I feel
some hope that things are going to get better and I feel good. That’s because you
cared enough about me to go to Leo and get me help that I didn’t even realize I
wanted.”
“That’s because I love you.” She told him.
“And I love you.” He responded and kissed her lingeringly. “Let me show you…”
***************************************
Donna was still drying her hair from the shower Josh had talked her into taking with
him when the buzzer sounded. Josh volunteered to get it.
“Hey!” Sam’s face lit up when he saw Josh at the door. “I didn’t know you were going
to be here.” Sam leaned in and gave his friend a hug before moving back and
looking closely at Josh. He knew where Josh had been all day yesterday and was
relieved to see Josh looking better today.
“Neither did I. Merry Christmas, Sam…Ainsley.” Josh extended his greeting to
include the petite blond standing next to his friend. Josh didn’t really mind Ainsley. In
truth, he secretly admired her for the way she’d handled herself since joining their
team at the White House. But as a staunch Democrat, he felt it was his sworn duty to
give her as much political shit as was humanly possible.
“Merry Christmas, Josh.” Ainsley replied as she came in. “Or should I not have said
that? Not that I don’t wish you a Merry Christmas…it’s just that you’re….you
know…Jewish.”
“I do know that as a matter of fact.” Josh chuckled at Ainsley’s nerves. “Come on in.
Donna will be right out. Can I get you something to drink? We have beer, wine, and
some concoction Donna made.”
“It’s egg nog Joshua.” Donna informed them as she came into the room and greeted
their guests. She took the pie that they’d brought for dessert into the kitchen.
“Beer for me, thanks.” Sam answered.
“I haven’t had egg nog in ages.” Ainsley said wistfully. “Will you have some with
me?” she asked Donna.
“Sure.” Donna smiled. She came back a minute later with drinks for everybody.
“Do you need any help with the meal? I feel so badly that we haven’t contributed
much.” Ainsley offered.
“Don’t be silly. It’s a pleasure to make a special meal for friends. And the meal is all
ready and in the oven.”
“Believe me, it’s ALL done.” Josh noted.
“Josh is a little out of sorts because he was required to help cook today instead of
merely opening the jars like he does when he’s at his mom’s. Be sure to compliment
him on his potato preparation.” Donna advised.
“Josh made the potatoes?” Sam chuckled. “I’d have paid money to see that.”
“Josh doesn’t cook?” Ainsley asked cocking an eyebrow at Joshua.
“And you do?” he shot back. “Don’t you people have cooks for that sort of thing?”
“If by ‘you people’ you’re referring to southerners-“ Ainsley began.
“Republicans.” Josh corrected and Ainsley laughed.
“Oh, this is going to be fun, isn’t it?” Ainsley said amiably.
“It will be for Donna and me.” Sam agreed and shared a smile with Donna. She
looked better today too, he noticed. That made sense. Donna was like Josh’s
barometer; when he did better, so did Donna and the reverse was true too. The
past few weeks had been terribly difficult for both of them and he was glad to see
them both relaxed and happy today.
When they had finished dinner, they gathered in the living room for dessert and a
movie. Surprisingly, Ainsley said she loved “All the President’s Men”, but Donna and
Sam complained until they convinced Josh and Ainsley to watch something else.
There was good natured teasing and banter flying everywhere. Josh found himself
actually disappointed when Sam and Ainsley decided it was time to go. Hugs were
exchanged all around before they left. Josh was bringing the dessert dishes into the
kitchen when he remembered something.
“Hey, I never got my present!” he protested.
“I told you that you had to be very, very good to get your present before Sam and
Ainsley came.”
“I was good. I even helped with the cooking. Weren’t the potatoes awesome?”
Donna rolled her eyes. He could be such a child sometimes. “Yes, Josh the potatoes
were amazing, but you only helped with the cooking so you could get to the ‘relaxing’
faster.”
“I think we should put less stress on my possible motivations for helping to cook and
focus instead on the fact that I did help to cook. I was very good with the helping to
cook.”
“Only to get to the ‘relaxing’.” Donna reiterated.
“I was very good at the relaxing, too.” He smirked and Donna couldn’t help smiling
back when she saw his dimples.
“Joshua.!” She exclaimed exasperated.
“You were very good, too, Donna.” He assured her.
“Gee, thanks.”
“So good, in fact, that I’m going to give you all three presents that I have for you in
exchange for the 1 present you have for me.”
“3 presents? Wait, how is it that you have ANY presents? You didn’t bring anything
over here, but your backpack.”
“I am quite resourceful, Donna.” He grinned again. “Deal?” he was practically
bouncing up and down.
“Fine; deal.” Donna agreed and retrieved the present she had for Josh. He
appeared with 3 oddly shaped packages wrapped in tissue paper. At her pointed
look at the misshapen messes Josh got defensive.
“So I’m not a very good wrapper. Isn’t it the thought itself that’s supposed to matter
the most?’
“Yes, and it’s a good thing, or you’d be out of luck there, Joshua.” Donna teased
before handing him the perfectly wrapped package she had for him.
He ripped off the paper like a 4 year old Christmas morning. When he opened the
box, he look puzzled seeing a folded piece of paper inside. He lifted the paper out,
unfolded it and 2 Mets tickets fell into his lap. Josh’s eyes lit up. Then he looked
again at the paper. It was an invitation to enjoy the box seats signed by Mike Piazza.
“How did you get this?” Josh demanded. “I know what you get paid. You can’t afford
this.”
“I didn’t pay for them exactly.” Donna admitted.
“Excuse me?”
“Well, not face value for the tickets. Congressman Delaney’s assistant knew
someone who knew someone that dated Mike Piazza and I did a little finagling.”
Donna told him. “The tickets are for a game on a weekend in March. I already
cleared it with Leo for you to take off the weekend.”
“You are a genius.” Josh exclaimed. “Thank you very much.”
“You’re welcome.” Donna smiled. “Do I get mine now? All 3?”
“Sure…but I’d like you to keep in mind that there are a very limited number of stores
open on Christmas.”
“Now I’m nervous.” Donna pulled her hand back from the tissue paper.
“It’s nothing dangerous just…maybe not traditional Christmas gifts.” Josh allowed.
Donna opened the first package. It was a small hammer with a sticky note attached
to it: For when you need to hit me on the head with something hard. Donna laughed.
“I’d better keep this handy, then.” She joked. The second gift was an odd shape too.
Inside was a bucket with bath products; bubble bath, lotion, and scented soap.
“I remembered how you like to take long soaks in my Jacuzzi tub.” Josh said. “Maybe
we could share those?”
“Maybe.” Donna said with a smirk. The last package was very small and she could
hear something jingling inside. It took her awhile to remove the tape, which Josh had
wrapped around the entire little package. “Remind me to work on wrapping skills with
you.”
“Just open it already.” Josh rolled his eyes.
“I’m trying!” she countered. She finally got the tape off and managed to rip off
tissue. Inside was a small charm bracelet; the cheap kind young boys often bought
their first girlfriend with their allowance. As Donna looked at it and the other items
Josh had wrapped she realized he must have found a drug store that was open on
Christmas Day.
The bracelet had several charms; a little heart with the words ‘I love you’ engraved
on it, a Christmas present, an opened book, and a telephone. Donna smiled.
“Thank you. I love all my presents.”
“But which one do you like best?” Josh asked as he maneuvered closer to her on
the couch, throwing the tissue paper on the floor.
“Definitely the hammer.” She said with a straight face. “Go email your mother.” She
said before she kissed him quickly and got up to clean up the mess they’d made.
“Okay, but we should probably check out the bubbles when I’m done. You know,
make sure they work and everything.” He called out and she laughed in response,
but Josh noticed she didn’t disagree.
He powered up his laptop and quickly wrote out an email to his mom:
Dear Mom,
I’m sorry I haven’t been able to call much lately. It’s been a bad couple
of weeks and to tell the truth, I’ve kind of been avoiding everybody. I don’t want
you to worry, though. I’m doing okay now…or at least better. It might be awhile
before I’m okay, but I’m getting help.
I also wanted to tell you how much I love you. You have always been there for me
and I probably didn’t appreciate it as much as I should. Or maybe I did, but I didn’t
tell you, which amounts to the same thing. Anyway, one of the things I learned this
week is that it’s really important to tell people that you love them.
This part may come as a shock to you, because I know how you’ve
always believed your son is brilliant, but I find I’m ignorant about a few
things and I need your advice. I’ll call you soon and we can talk about it over the
phone. In the meantime, could you send Grandma’s ring over to me? Send it to
my apartment, not to the White House please. See how I used ‘please’ there?
Donna says people actually agree to do more things for you, and faster too, when
you include the word please. Isn’t she amazing?
Love,
Josh
In Connecticut, Ruth read the email twice before writing her reply:
Dear Joshua,
Donna is absolutely correct, as usual, and to prove it, I will FEDEX
Grandma’s ring to your apartment tomorrow morning. Yes, she is amazing.
You are very lucky to have her in your life, and vice versa of course. Now it’s
time for me to make a little confession. When I couldn’t reach you or Donna
last night, I called Leo. He told me a little bit about the week you had. I’m so
sorry Joshua. You’ve been through so much in your young life, and you didn’t
deserve for anything like this to happen.
I’m glad to hear from you that you’re feeling better and that you’re
getting some help. That’s very important; to ask for help when you need it.
Please remember that. As for the rest, I have always known how much you love
me, but it is lovely to read all the same. I’m always ready to give motherly
advice, call me when you’re ready.
Love,
Mom
Ruth Lyman hit send and her reply traveled back to her son. She then re-read Josh’
s email once more before hitting forward and sending a copy to Abby Bartlet and
Anna Moss. The subject line read ‘Operation East Wing’.
Chapter 16
“Donna, why did you turn off my light?” Josh asked.
“It’s 8:20 and dinner is at 8:30; it’s time to go.” She continued packing things up and
powering down his computer.
“You’d think you’d never had dinner with the President and First Lady before.” Josh
said amused at Donna’s nervous behavior.
“I’ve never had dinner with the President and First Lady in the residence before.”
Donna noted. “Then you throw in the fact that your mom and my parents are coming
too, and-“
“Would you relax?” Josh interrupted her. “It’s going to be a quiet, low key dinner.
The President promised. He and the First Lady just wanted a private dinner with our
parents. It’s a pre-wedding family dinner.”
Donna shot him a look. “Yes, and those aren’t generally held in the residence of the
White House.”
“And weddings aren’t generally held in the Rose Garden either, but ours will be.
What’s your point?”
“My point is this is all a little higher profile than I’d dreamt about when I was a little
girl.”
“Well you’re marrying a very important, influential man, Donna.” Josh smirked and
took her hand. “Relax. As soon as we’re done with dessert, we’ll take off and let the
old people entertain themselves.”
“I’m telling the President you said that. And how do you plan on taking off after
dessert. You’ll need the President’s permission to leave.” She reminded him.
“Oh, I know the rules, believe me.” Josh drawled. “But he’ll understand that I want to
spend some private time with my fiancé. I’ll take care of it. Trust me.”
“If I must.” Donna agreed and walked with Josh to the residence where they found
Ruth and Donna’s parents already enjoying some champagne with the President
and First Lady.
“Good evening, Mr. President, Dr. Bartlet.” Josh began and greetings as well as
hugs were exchanged throughout the group.
They sat down for dinner shortly after that and everyone was in a very gregarious
mood. The President was telling his captive audience story after story about Josh,
the highlight being his secret plan to fight inflation. While everyone chuckled good
naturedly, the President turned to Donna.
”You sure you want to go through with this Donnatella? I can have this one re-
assigned to Minsk and you can be the new Deputy Chief of Staff.”
“As much as I’d like the promotion, I don’t think that would be fair to the people of
Belarus, do you Mr. President?” Donna replied.
“No, indeed not.” The President replied. “Anna, Thomas, I must congratulate you on
raising a young woman strong enough and smart enough to keep Josh Lyman in
line.” He addressed Donna’s parents. “I’m sure Ruth can tell you that’s no small
task.”
“It certainly isn’t.” Ruth agreed.
“Was there some memo about ganging up on me tonight and I missed it?” Josh
complained.
“We think we’re pretty lucky to be adding Josh to the family, too.” Anna Moss added.
“Thank you, Anna.”
“Even though he’s a Democrat.” Thomas teased and had both Josh and the
President turning to him in shock. “Nobody’s perfect.”
At the end of the meal, they went into the solarium and Josh took this opportunity to
make a request of the President privately.
“Sir, I have a favor to ask.” Josh said quietly.
“Yes?”
“It’s been a rather hectic week-“
“It’s the White House, Josh, you should be used to that by now.”
“Yes, sir.” Josh acknowledged. “But in between finishing things up before we leave
on our honeymoon and entertaining family from out of town, Donna and I haven’t
had a minute to ourselves.”
“And you’d like a little alone time with your fiancé?”
“Yes, sir.” Josh grinned.
“Off you go, then. Enjoy yourselves. Abby and I will keep everyone engaged and
entertained for a couple more hours.”
“Thank you very much, Mr. President.”
“I owe Donna one for figuring out the crux of the Stackhouse filibuster.” President
Bartlet replied.
“Yes, sir.” Josh agreed before he and Donna said their ‘goodnights’ and went off on
their own.
“You did it!” Donna praised him when they got to his apartment unencumbered by
any parents.
“Never doubt me again, Donnatella.” He instructed as he started removing her
clothing. It had been 5 days, and nights, since he’d been alone with her for more
than five minutes and he wasn’t going to waste a single moment now that he had her
alone where he wanted her. Donna seemed inclined to cooperate.
******************************************
“Is there anything else you need help with before the wedding Friday?” Abby asked.
Jed and Thomas were drinking port in the corner by themselves arguing about Big
Government.
“You’ve been so generous already, Abby.” Anna noted. “This is a dream come true
in more ways than one.” Anna shared a smile with Ruth.
“Lord knows we’ve waited long enough for this day to come.” Ruth added.
“Then I propose a toast. ‘To the successful completion of Operation East Wing’”
Abby held her glass aloft.
“Here, here.” Anna seconded. They all took a sip of their wine.
“You know, now that we’ve successfully completed our first mission, we might want to
try our hand at another.” Ruth suggested.
“Like what?” Abby asked curiously.
“I was thinking along the lines of ‘Operation Lullaby’.” Ruth told them.
“Oh, I like that.” Anna said nodding. “I like that a lot.”
“To ‘Woman’s Work’!” Abby raised her glass again and the women clinked their
glasses yet again.
“What the hell is going on over there?” Jed wondered aloud to his only male
companion.
“Mr. President, hasn’t it been your experience, that it’s usually best if we don’t
know?” Thomas asked him.
“Yeah, I guess it is.” Jed agreed. “To our amazing women.” Jed held out his glass for
their own toast and Thomas joined in readily.
The End.